by M. D. Melai
“You shouldn’t have started it off that way then. You should have maybe been like are you okay? Or I’m sorry about last night. Something more along those lines would have been a little more appropriate for this conversation.”
“I didn’t mean…,” she said and then took a deep sigh. “I’m sorry. I'm tired and frustrated, and you of all people, I should not be upset with right now.”
I sighed, sat down, and faced her. Violet’s head was down and she looked upset.
“Last night was a mess, Lily. My phone had died and Dante had forgotten his that morning. Benito had stopped by the office when Dante hadn’t responded to his texts and told us to stop by the club around eight.
“Everyone was there, including your parents. I got excited for a moment, because Emilio had been talking about a surprise he had for you and I thought maybe that was going to be it. But then Elle and Emilio walked out, and I was so confused until your father announced what the purpose of the party was. I could have picked up a landline, but I was in shock.”
Violet stopped and looked at me to make sure I was following. I wasn’t sure what she saw on my face, but she continued. “Before I could even wrap my head around the situation, your dad was announcing how proud he was and all I could think was that I hoped you weren’t sitting at home watching this catastrophe unfold.”
“Well, I was,” I said defeated.
Violet continued after giving me an apologetic look. “On the way home, Emilio was visibly upset. I’ve seen him that way before, but this time, it was different. He said your dad—” I didn’t let her finish.
“I can’t handle this anymore, Violet,” I spoke up sternly. “I can’t be here anymore.”
“What?” she said confused. “What do you mean by that?”
“I mean exactly what I said.” My voice rose with each word. “I can’t do this anymore. I can’t be here anymore.”
“Did you not hear me? This wasn’t Emilio’s idea!”
“I heard you Violet, but that isn’t the point. The point is no matter what, whatever my father says is final. My father is the head of one of the most powerful Mafia families in this town! No one is going to stand up and tell him no!” I stood up from the bed and started pacing.
“I can’t do it anymore. I can’t continue to live this way,” I motioned around my room. “This isn’t living!” I screamed. “None of this is living, Violet! I’m missing so much! Emilio will never, ever be able to leave this life behind and I can’t get away from it fast enough.”
“This won’t be forever, Lil.” Violet sounded like she was trying to convince herself more than she was trying to convince me.
“I doubt that. I’m stuck in a house while they are protecting me from a family, and I have no idea why or what the hell the Heinrichs are actually after. I don’t understand why I’m the one being protected. I have five brothers that they could go after! Why me? Something isn’t right here, and I’m not stupid. I might be the weakest link out of all my siblings, but for them to constantly be coming at me from all angles doesn’t make sense! I only get lies! Lies from everyone but you.”
“Do you want another vacation?” Violet asked. “I’m sure we could talk them into something, Rio or Paris?”
I shook my head. “No, Violet.”
“Okay, well then…”
“No, Violet, I mean I need a new start.”
“A new start?” Violet questioned, clearly confused.
“Yes, a new start. When I leave this time, I’m not coming back.”
“No!” she yelled as she rose from the bed. “What? You can’t leave!”
“I’m going to do it with or without your help Violet.” I paused for a moment before I continued. “I’m suffocating here. I have been controlled and told what to do almost every day of my life, and I can’t do it anymore.”
“I won’t help you,” she retorted. She was trying to hold her ground, thinking I was bluffing, but I wasn’t. Not this time.
“You have two choices, Violet. You can either help me get the hell away from this crazy place and I will still keep in touch with you, or don’t help me and be shut out just like everyone else.”
“You’re really going to make me choose?” she asked with wide eyes.
“Violet, do you remember what it was like for me after Emilio told me he didn’t want me anymore?”
“Of course I remember. You stopped living. It was painful to watch.” Violet started crying. She finally understood. “I get it now,” she said softly. “I knew you were getting close after the whole incident with the attack drill. The look in your eyes that day…”
“Now you understand.” I took her hands. “I lost myself the day he left me. You watched me become a shell of a person. You saw me get addicted to Xanax, and then I had to go through rehab. I told you that if I ever got that bad again, then I would tell you when I felt myself spiral. I thought that after Roman died I was going to relapse, but I didn’t. Even after my kidnapping, I thought I might, but I’m telling you now that I can’t be here anymore.” I looked at her with pleading eyes. “Will you help me?”
She hugged me and cried on my shoulder for a little while, but Violet eventually nodded her head and whispered that she would help me. She knew this was the only option.
***
Violet and I had been devising a plan for the last couple of weeks. My exit date was quickly approaching, and she had taken the day off to go over everything to make sure we hadn’t missed anything.
We were eating breakfast when Emilio joined us in the kitchen.
“Good morning, Violet,” he said as he smiled at her before turning to me. His smile instantly faded. “Lily,” he nodded, barely acknowledging my presence.
“Emilio,” I said meeting his gaze, before looking back down at my pancakes.
When he turned to make his coffee, I looked back up and watched him. We hadn’t talked since the night of our fight. Violet had been running interference for both of us.
I heard them talking in the hall one night and I overheard her telling him just to give me more time. His response had been, “how much more time?”
I knew I needed to speak with him soon. I should have done it weeks ago, but now that I knew I was leaving, it made it ten times harder. We would speak soon. He deserved a proper goodbye.
“See you two tonight?” Emilio asked breaking my concentration. He smiled briefly at me once he realized he had caught me staring at him.
We both nodded. He wished us a good day and was out the door moments later.
“When are you going to talk to him?” Violet asked as soon as the door to the garage shut.
“Before I leave,” I said taking a bite of my pancakes.
“You’re going to kill him, you know that?”
“Yes,” I breathed out, “I do.”
Violet didn’t bring it up again.
After breakfast, we headed to the office and started going over all the details. I didn’t know how or who she got help from, but we had secured a complete new identity for me. When I asked her who helped, she just smiled and said that she had connections. I shook my head at her and let her have that one. I wasn’t going to complain. She had done an amazing job.
I would soon be leaving Liliana Dapprima behind and become Caterina De Luca. I had a passport, driver’s license, social security card, credit cards, a burner phone, and even a birth certificate. Violet De Luca was listed as my mother, with father unknown. She also said that her phone number was registered on the passport information, just in case. She had stressed that part well.
I thought long and hard about exactly where I wanted to go. I thought about South America, Hawaii, or even Australia. I almost convinced myself that Australia was it when Violet came up with an idea one day.
“Why don’t you go to Italy and research your family? Like the history and how they came to power?” she said. “And maybe research the Heinrich family as well, since you know there is more to their story than they are telling you. M
aybe they have an outstanding feud going on with your family like the Capulets and the Montagues.”
It was then that I decided Europe it was going to be. I laughed at the Romeo and Juliet comment at first, but then I thought it was definitely something to look into. Maybe she was right.
“It looks like we have everything,” I said to Violet as I looked over everything on the table, “except my plane tickets.”
“Are you sure about this, Lily?” She looked up at me with sad eyes.
“Yes, I am, but I can promise you that it won’t be forever. I might eventually find my way back home.”
“Knowing you, that will be forever!” She smiled.
“Maybe, maybe not,” I said as I sat down at the computer. “Enough about this for now, I need to get those tickets!”
I would leave Newark, NJ and fly straight to Toronto. I wanted to go back home for just a moment before I left. My mother went for coffee every Friday morning with her friends at the same place and time. They never missed.
I wanted to see her one more time, even if it was from a distance. I was still upset with her, but I knew it wasn’t her fault that the engagement party happened, and I wasn’t going to miss the opportunity to see her one last time. She had been calling me for the last couple of weeks, and I had ignored her calls. I felt bad for doing that, but I didn’t want to talk about what happened.
Next, we purchased a one way ticket from Toronto to Italy. My layover in Toronto gave me enough time to go see my mother and still make it back to the airport in plenty of time to do all the pre-boarding essentials.
We had talked about money and how I was going to be getting it. Clearing out my bank accounts was not an option, because of the suspicion it would bring up, so Violet said she would start depositing cash into my new account for me. And if I ever needed any more, then I would let her know.
Going on this trip I knew that I would be leaving our business to Violet, so I told her she should buy out my shares in the company and have full control over it, but she refused. Violet said if or when I came home, it would still be just as much mine as it was hers. She was already hopeful of my return.
The last thing we had to discuss was the security system. The house had an automatic backup generator, so we researched how to turn it off. All we had to do was find the transfer switch and flip it so that the generator wouldn’t start. It seemed pretty easy. When I asked who was going to flip the electricity switch off, she told me not to worry about it, and that she had it all under control.
By the time Emilio and Dante arrived home that night, everything was planned and ready to roll. I would be leaving in three days.
Three days.
I still couldn’t believe I was doing this.
I felt a little panicked as I laid in bed that night. Could I do this? Was I brave enough to step out on my own? I would be all by myself for the first time, without Violet along for the ride. I could already tell over the next three nights that I wasn’t going to get very much sleep.
***
I was right. I hadn’t slept well in the past three nights. I couldn’t believe it was already Thursday morning. Violet and I got up, dressed, went for our morning run, and then joined Dante and Emilio for breakfast. After breakfast, the three of them left for work, and right on time, as usual, Lorenzo and Paolo joined me.
Today, I asked them if we could just run over all the self-defense moves I had been taught over the last couple of months. We worked for hours making sure I had everything down. It helped keep my mind at ease and kept me busy.
After lunch, I headed upstairs and packed my bag. Violet had bought me a purple duffle bag to sling over my shoulder. She vowed it would be easier than toting a suitcase behind me. She had a valid point.
I packed all of my essentials and as many outfits as I could shove into the duffle, along with one extra pair of shoes. Leaving all my shoes behind was not going to be easy. I would be downsizing from an ungodly amount to just two pair.
My purse was already ready. I had switched from Liliana Dapprima to Caterina De Luca last night. I had taken everything out of my wallet and purse and placed them in my vanity. I plugged in everybody’s numbers into my new burner phone: my parents, brothers, Emilio, and Violet’s. I knew I would not be calling any of them, except Violet, but it made me feel more at ease knowing I could call any of them at a moment’s notice.
I checked and rechecked everything, before I placed both the bag and my purse in the downstairs’ closet. After I was satisfied I had everything ready, I rejoined Lorenzo and Paolo until Dante, Violet, and Emilio came home.
I helped Violet cook dinner, then we all ate and cleaned up. Dante joined me on my evening run, and after that, I took a shower and relaxed in the living room with everyone. Dante and Violet were curled up on one end of the couch together, while I was at the other end and Emilio was sitting at the dining room table paying the bills.
At eleven, everyone headed up to their rooms. I had been trying all evening to work up the courage to say goodbye to Emilio. I was afraid he was going to see right through me. Trying to figure out what I was going to say to him without making it sound like I was saying goodbye was harder than I thought it would be.
“Emilio?” I asked as I knocked on his door.
“Yes,” he said as the door flew open. He must have been standing right next to it.
He was standing there shirtless, with his jeans still hanging on his hips. My heart sped up at the mere sight of him. I hadn’t seen him without a shirt in a while. I forgot how handsome he looked. His muscles were even more toned than the last time I saw them. His tattoos were just as beautiful as before. The thunderstorm was striking across his shoulder, along with the weeping lily and its teardrops flowing. I immediately noticed a new teardrop had been added.
Emilio cleared his throat, which brought me out of my thoughts. I felt my cheeks burn from embarrassment. I couldn’t believe he had just caught me staring at him.
“I'm so sorry.” I blushed.
“It’s okay,” he said smiling. “I don’t mind if you look.”
“I know you don’t,” I laughed as I pushed passed him and into his room. “It doesn’t make getting caught checking you out any easier.”
“I’ve known for a long time you have always wanted this,” he said as he motioned down his body. “It’s just you finally admitting it that will seal the deal.”
I hit him in the arm. “Sometimes I don’t know what to do about you.”
“Love me.” He shrugged, all of his playfulness leaving his voice.
Playtime is over.
“Emilio,” I sighed and placed my fist on his chest. “You know I love you.”
“Do you?” he asked. “Because you just assumed a lot of stuff and have been blowing me off for something you wouldn’t even let me explain.”
“I’m sorry about that. I really am. I was just hurt and confused.”
“And you shut me out again, Lily, after I asked you not to.”
“What was I supposed to think Emilio? It was an engagement party!” I was trying to keep my voice down, but I was struggling.
“Well, if you weren’t so damn stubborn and hard headed, then I would have explained to you that what happened that night I had no idea about! You just assumed I knew everything that was going on,” he said as he stared into my eyes.
“If you would have been quiet for ten seconds that night, then you would have known that your father had talked to me about getting engaged. He wanted to make a public display of it, and I told him that I would love to marry his daughter. I told him to give me some time, because I wanted to ask you first, you Liliana, to marry me before it was even brought to Elle.” He paused for a moment as he ran his hands through his hair, down his neck, and then let them drop to his side before taking my hands in his.
“I wanted you to be the first person to hear about it. I wanted to tell you that I loved you and that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you, and only you. Not just bec
ause your father thought it would be best, but because I really do want to marry you,” he said as he moved in closer to me.
“I was going to ask you that Friday,” he continued, “on our date, but then the private party ended up being my own engagement party. Everything spun out of control that night when we got home. You were extremely upset, and I was upset, and things just escalated.”
“About that,” I interrupted. “You know I didn’t mean what I said. I… I don’t hate you.”
“I know,” he said as he placed his hand on my cheek to make sure our eyes met. “You were upset.”
“I was upset and jealous. I was mad at you, Dante, and Violet, but I was mostly furious with my father. You, unfortunately, took the blunt of everything I was feeling. I should have yelled at my parents instead, but they weren’t here.”
“I would never hurt you on purpose Lily, you know that right?” Emilio’s gray eyes were staring into mine, like he was reading my soul.
I just nodded my head. I was captivated by him, and instantly started to rethink my plan. Maybe I had made a mistake in my anger and haste. I should have just talked to him and let him explain.
I can’t leave him. I shouldn’t do it. It’s going to kill him.
“What are you thinking so hard about?”
I shrugged my shoulders before answering. “Everything.”
“Everything, huh?” He dropped his hand from my face, grabbed me around the waist, pulled me in close, and put our foreheads together.
“Tell me what you’re thinking about in that pretty little head of yours?”
“I was thinking maybe I should have talked to you before I blew up at you.”
Emilio laughed. “Yes, you should have. Your father, he can be a handful sometimes. When he sets his mind to something, he just goes for it.”
And that right there was it. That was the reason I was going to have to leave all of this behind. In that one statement, my heart knew I couldn’t stay, even though I felt it was going to be one of the biggest regrets of my life.
“Emilio,” I whispered as I looked up into his eyes. I threw my arms around his neck and crashed my lips to his before he even had time to answer me.