“It’s pointless, Lang. There’s too much between us.”
“It can’t be pointless. I’m not leaving you again. This is going to be one very small town for both of us if you don’t find a way to let me back in.” I dropped my spoon in the carton and stood up. “I’m not leaving. I need you.”
Muddy froze and blinked up at me. “You don’t need me.”
“I do. After what just happened, I know I can’t live life without you anymore. I may not know you as well as I should, but I know what I see, and I know what I feel. I’m going to find a way to earn your forgiveness.” I paused and balled my hands into fists. “I thought that you were as good as dead out there. The idea of losing you for good made me want to die right along with you, Sunshine. I know I fucked up. I know I let the best thing that’s ever happened to me get away. I’m not going to make that mistake twice. From now on, you walk out of my life; I chase after you. That’s how it is going to be, and this is me, chasing you.”
A surprised look crossed her face, but she stayed silent. I didn’t want to push her, so we just both remained silent for a while.
“I’ve got to make sure someone finds the body. He doesn’t deserve it, but I don’t want him rotting out in the woods. In case he has family.”
She winced. “I…”
“I’ll be back, Sunshine.”
“Thank you.” She cleared her throat. “For back there.”
I looked back at her and wished things were simpler, for her sake. I just wanted to hold her in my arms. “I’d do it a million times over for you.”
21
Lang
“You don’t have to sleep out here with me, Lang. Go back to the bedroom.”
I fluffed my pillow and laid on the floor beside the couch. “I’m fine. You might need something. I want to be close.”
“You’re more than close. You’re practically on the couch with me.” She didn’t sound as annoyed as she normally did with me. That was a good sign.
“If I was on the couch with you, you’d know, sweetheart.” I paused and then groaned at my own words. “That sounded way more creepy stalkerish than I meant it to.”
“How creepy stalkerish did you mean for it to sound?”
“Slightly less than actually worrisome, for sure.”
She laughed, a god’s honest laugh. It was deep and full, and it had the dual effect of making my heart race and my dick turn to stone. I had an instant flashback of us on her mom’s little patio next to the single wide where they’d lived in Chattington. I’d said something stupid to her and she’d thrown her head back and laughed in the same carefree way.
“I had everything back then, didn’t I?”
Muddy got quiet and I heard the blanket over her rustling. “I don’t know about everything, Lang, but you had me.”
My stomach sank. “I had everything. I hate myself for fucking it up, Muddy. As much as you hate me, I hate me even more.”
Her hand appeared at the side of the couch and then slowly dropped lower until it rested on my arm. “I don’t hate you.”
“But you don’t like me.” I didn’t phrase it as a question and she didn’t bother answering. We both just let the quiet of the house consume us.
More than an hour passed before I heard the soft purr of Muddy snoring. Her hand was still on my arm and I took the chance to engulf her fingers in mine and stroke the soft skin of her palm. I had to win her heart back. I couldn’t go on without her. I really did need her.
Another hour passed and I gave up on sleeping. I let go of Muddy’s hand and climbed to my feet before pacing the house. I sucked in a deep breath and ran all the things through my mind that she had said to me since I’d arrived in Helen’s Corner. How I was like my parents, how I didn’t know her, how I was an asshole.
The biggest shock had been finding out that all these years she thought I chose another woman over her. And why wouldn’t she think that? In essence, I had. Never my heart, though. She always had that. After the ceremony when I came to my senses…I would have gone after her then, tracked her to the ends of the Earth if I would have known how badly I’d hurt her and that she hadn’t actually run away with Deke Allred.
There were so many misunderstandings. How could something so special like finding one’s soulmate become so convoluted?
I looked back at her, sleeping on the couch, and decided that maybe getting through to her meant stripping away all the extra things in my arsenal and just being myself.
Scooting closer to Muddy, I stared down at her and breathed out a sigh. She was so beautiful. She’d kicked one of her legs out from under the covers and the smooth expanse of skin looked like pale silk under the moonlight streaming in through the windows. I wanted to spend the rest of my life trailing kisses up that leg.
“Stop staring at me, Lang.” Muddy’s sleep laden voice was light. “You’re crossing over into the creepy stalker zone again.”
I settled back on the floor next to her and watched shadows play across the ceiling. “I wouldn’t want that.”
“You okay?” She shifted on the couch and her face appeared over the side.
“Lay back before you hurt yourself.”
“You can stare at me, but I can’t stare at you? That hardly seems fair.” She stayed where she was and tucked her bottom lip between her teeth. “Are you okay, Lang? For real? What happened before… It wasn’t your fault. You did what you had to.”
I held her gaze and nodded. “It probably says something about me that I wasn’t thinking about that.”
“What were you thinking about then? You looked worried.”
“I was thinking about how badly I must have hurt you, and how desperately I want to make it up to you. And, what I could do to show you that I’m serious about us. I’m worried that I won’t be able to.” I looked back at the ceiling. “I think I wasn’t really letting myself see the magnitude of what it is I’m asking you to forgive me for. I didn’t want to. Now that I see it, I don’t know if I can make up for it. That scares me.”
Silence stretched on until I wanted to scream just to break it. I wanted to know what she was thinking. I’d just opened myself up and the natural instinct to yank it all back in was strong. Even if I could, I wouldn’t. She deserved to know how I was truly feeling. That I was serious.
Finally, Muddy’s rolled onto her back and stared up at the ceiling. She cleared her throat. “Maybe we can do what you suggested and talk more. Really talk. Tomorrow.”
I thought it was a shut down and felt the rejection like a kick in the balls. Embarrassingly, I felt choked up.
Muddy stifled a yawn. “Yeah, we’ll talk. Talking was a good idea.”
I sat up. “You’re serious?”
She lightly laughed and pulled her blanket up to her chin. “Yes, tomorrow. Go to sleep. I’m tired. In case you don’t remember, I was attacked earlier. I need rest.”
I grinned and laid back down. She agreed to talking. Small, but it was a victory nonetheless.
22
Muddy
While Lang ran to the drug store to pick up more gauze and surgical tape, I went about devouring the rest of the mint chocolate chip. The door opened somewhere behind me, but I was too focused on scraping the last bite of the ice cream out of the carton to look up. “I hope you didn’t want any more ice cream.”
“What are you doing here?”
The harsh, icy voice from behind me was one that I would never forget, no matter how many years passed. Georgina Millingham. I jerked around hoping I was hallucinating. Maybe the combination of loss of blood and eating way too much sugar had me hearing things, but no. There she was.
She was dressed in something that probably cost well into five figures and made her look stiff and tight-assed as hell. Her eyes ran down my body and her scowl twisted even tighter. “I asked you a question. Why are you here and where’s Langdon?”
Langdon Senior cleared his throat and looked back at the door. “Here he comes now.”
The door
opened again and then a loud curse filled the room. “What are you two doing here?”
I made sure the throw blanket over me was covering everything. I would have liked to have had the floor swallow me. I couldn’t believe my luck. In walks Georgina, my worst nightmare, and I’m naked. What a bad dream come true.
“We came to check on you, Langdon. We hadn’t heard from you and your father was told you’d come down here. What is she doing here, Langdon?”
I tried to sit up but Lang hurried over to me and put his hand on my good shoulder holding me down. I looked up at him with desperate pleading in my eyes. I wanted to go. I didn’t want to be stuck in the house with his parents, and I sure as hell didn’t want to have to hear the conversation that was certain to follow.
“No, Sunshine. You’re staying.” He looked over at his parents and frowned. “You shouldn’t have come. As you can see, I’m fine. Now, go on back home.”
Georgina clutched the necklace on her neck and frowned. “Darling, don’t be silly. We’ve come all this way. We’ll wait while you to dismiss your…friend. We have business to discuss.”
I tried to get up again, but Lang’s hand flattened on my collarbone and kept me from moving. “Lang, I don’t want to stay. Just let me go. I’ll get myself home.”
“Listen to the girl, Langdon. This is family business,” Langdon Senior piped up.
Lang growled in his parents’ direction. “She’s not a girl, she’s staying, and she is family. My family, my mate.”
“Not this again, Langdon.” Georgina sighed dramatically and let go of her necklace. It looked like she’d decided that maybe I wouldn’t lunge for it, yank it off her neck, and take off running to the nearest pawn shop. Not at that moment, anyway. Her voice turned syrupy sweet. “Oh, Langdon, darling, I should never have mentioned Muddy coming back to town. I should’ve known that with how busy you’d been, you’d probably be lonely and jump at a chance for a quick…whatever. You simply need to refocus, darling. I know plenty of fine wolf women. With documented pedigrees. I’d love to introduce you to Priscilla’s daughter.”
“Just let me go.” I pulled at his hand, but I was weak. And naked.
“Don’t mention Priscilla’s daughter or any other women in front of me again. Muddy is the only woman I’ve ever cared about. I should’ve done right by her all those years ago, instead of letting you push me into a phony marriage. If I’d have realized how badly I was hurting Muddy, I never would have agreed to that disaster. I’m a grown man now, and there’s not a damn thing you can say to keep me from doing everything in my power to beg her forgiveness and trying to make up for that mistake. So, either you accept her, or you can leave. Actually, I’d prefer you leave either way.”
“She’s not even a wolf, Langdon.”
“She’s my mate!”
“She’s right here and isn’t comfortable with being talked around.”
“Oh, Langdon, think of our reputation.” Georgina was kind of a broken record. “Our family name. Those things are important whether you want them to be or not. If you refuse to think of yourself, think about the next generation. What about your niece Caroline’s future?”
“Caroline? Caroline would do well to stay away from those uppity snobs. I mean, letters of recommendation for pre-school? Christ, based on what, how well the kids make mud pies and eat boogers?
“Langdon!” Georgina’s eyes narrowed on me.
“Son, now you’d better think about this for a minute.”
“Dad, there’s nothing to think about. I love her. And, I consider myself lucky that Muddy would even give me the time of day. She’s better than the whole lot of us combined, so you have nothing to worry about as far as the family lineage. If she ever graces me with her hand in marriage, she’ll do nothing but elevate our line.” Lang shook his head. “I’m not doing this. This is ridiculous. I’m not going to argue with you about this. It is what it is. She stays. You leave.”
I held my breath. He loved me? Hand in marriage? He wanted to spend the rest of his life with me? I mean… I guess I hadn’t thought of it that way. I knew he wanted to hook up and all, that had always been the case, but forever? My heart started racing. I was going to have a heart attack, I was pretty sure.
“We both know you only came here to ask for more money. So, here. Take a check and go.” Lang walked over to his wallet on top of the kitchen counter and snatched something out of it. “It’s the last one. I’m not funding your lavish lifestyle anymore. Especially if you insist on being rude to my mate.” Lang pointed at me. “This woman is my number one.”
Georgina should have left well enough alone. She should have just taken the check, but Georgina being Georgina, would just not let it go. Her eyes narrowed in on me for the kill. “What have you done? What spell have you cast over my son, you she-devil?” The woman was livid. Her face was a shade of bright red. “Just like I told you all those years ago at the chapel, he’ll quickly tire of you again. A poor, white trash cat shifter like you can’t keep someone as high bred as Langdon entertained for long.”
Lang’s brows furrowed and he looked from his mother to me, back to his mother, and then again to me. “The chapel? Did she say chapel? Is she saying what I think she’s saying?”
I nodded.
“Oh, for god’s sakes, yes, she showed up at your wedding!” Georgina was practically spitting she was so angry. “Like a stray cat begging for a home. I shooed her off.”
Lang stood speechless for a moment. All these years, I’d assumed he knew about Georgina confronting me at the chapel and my utter humiliation. It became obvious he hadn’t as I watched him process what his mother had just said. Then he strode to the door and yanked it open. “Out.”
“How dare you threaten us, Langdon! After all we’ve done for you!” Georgina held her ground until Lang released a loud, vicious, snarling growl from the depths of his chest that had even me shaking.
Both his parents hurried out of the house, but not before Georgina looked back at me and glared.
Lang slammed the door shut and locked it before leaning against it and letting his head hang low. “Jesus. You think I’m like them.”
The urge to rush and deny it was there, but I couldn’t. I just couldn’t let go of that last tidbit of the past. He did have that side to him, didn’t he? Even though I’d been seeing a different side lately, I’d spent years angry and hating him. I couldn’t let go that easily, could I? “I don’t know, Lang.”
He shrugged and walked towards the back rooms of the house. “It’s fine. Maybe you’re right. I did, after all, just kill a man with no remorse.”
“You killed him to save me.”
“Who knows? Maybe I am a soulless monster.” With that, he disappeared into the back of the house.
I gritted my teeth. I was pretty sure I’d said something very similar to him. He wasn’t a soulless monster, though. He’d fought to save me and he’d thrown his parents out for me.
He’d even used the “L” word. I realized that all this time, he had been trying to show me his love for me in his own way.
I was still too scared to carry that train of thought any further, though. I didn’t know what to do with it. How did I turn on a dime and drop all the past resentments? I just…I just needed time.
23
Muddy
A pounding on the door startled me awake. The sun was pouring in through the open windows, and the morning breeze carried the chirping songs of birds. My body ached, but I could move now without it feeling like my skin was going to rip open. That pounding was awful, though. I sat up and spotted Lang striding towards the door. His chest was bare, minus the kitchen towel thrown over his shoulder. The smell of bacon followed him.
My mouth watered, but not from the bacon. I had to remind myself that jumping Lang’s bones would be sending mixed signals. No matter how aroused the mere sight of the man made me.
“Good morning, Sunshine.” He winked at me and wiped his hands on the towel before grabbing the do
orknob and pulling the door open. “I believe you have some guests.”
I drew my eyes away from Lang’s chest just as the house exploded with Charlie, Denny, Carter, and Sonnie. They rushed in and all started yelling at once. They seemed intent on tearing into Lang until they saw me. The blanket was covering my chest and down, but my bandaged shoulder was visible for their viewing. I hadn’t looked at the mess from the gunshot yet, but I knew it wouldn’t be pretty. Their expressions confirmed that.
“What the fuck happened to you?!” Sonnie exclaimed while holding up a balled fist and glowering in Lang’s direction.
Lang closed the door and backed towards the kitchen. “I’ll set out a few more plates.”
“Fuck your plates!” Sonnie followed him. She was on a roll.
“Is she the florist? I expected her to be sweeter, honestly.” Lang grinned at me and vanished behind a wall just as Sonnie’s shoe hit it.
“He called your house and told Anna that you were here and not to worry about you, but look at you! What did he do to you, Muddy?”
I pulled the blanket tighter around me and wiggled into a more comfortable position. “He saved my life.”
Denny tripped over the edge of the rug and flung herself onto the chair opposite the couch. When she was settled, she shook it off like she’d meant to do that, then looked me over. “What happened?”
I listened to the distant sounds of Lang cooking and looked down at my hands. I knew that my friends would carry me out of there if I said I wanted to go home. There was my chance to leave, right there in front of me.
Charlie knelt in front of me, on top of the makeshift bed that Lang had slept on. “Tell us what happened, Muddy.”
“Um…I…” I rubbed my eyes and shoved my hands into my hair. Tangles stopped me from getting very far, but the motion helped settle me. “I ran too far outside of town limits. Someone set a leg trap and I got caught in it.”
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