I Need You Here

by Cynthia P. O'Neill

  “You can’t possibly—!” My voice trailed to nothing. I couldn’t fathom how he’d known, but felt even more turned on by how well he read my body. I began shifting a bit in my seat, feeling a little uncomfortable with how soaked my lace boy shorts had become.

  “I’m just reading your body, love. It has telltale signs, like right now you’re shifting in your seat, something you’ve been unconsciously doing any time we’ve talked about spanking your ass, or using a flogger.”

  I immediately stopped fidgeting in my seat. Please tell me he didn’t figure out … I let my mind wonder as he stood in front of the camera and turned slightly to one side, showing me the erection tenting the shorts he was wearing.

  “See, love, you’re not the only one affected by our conversations. The fact that you’re shifting in your seat indicates you have moist heat flooding your most private areas.” I blushed instantly because the bastard was right, but he caught that, too, as he came back in line with the camera. “No need to be embarrassed by things, it’s all a part of the human body. Your actions show me how responsive you are.”

  He motioned for me to come closer to the camera on my laptop screen. “I’ll let you in on a little secret, I love a receptive woman. I’d give anything to be there with you right now, to feel you pressed against me. However, it’s not our time — not yet anyway. I’ll wait for you.”

  The memory of that night seemed so far away and out of reach. It was a shame that I hadn’t been with him then, and that I wasn’t with him now. He cannot know that I’m coming back to Orlando. The one person who’d captured my heart was the individual I needed to avoid at all costs, or all hell could break loose.

  I felt the bus stop moving and saw we’d arrive at the Orlando Greyhound station. My uncle, Tony, had promised a cab would be waiting here for me to take me wherever I needed to go. The person waiting would approach me and say, “The tarantula hides …” To which I’d reply, “… in the shadows of night.’” It might sound silly, but my parents had worked in the intelligence community—Dad had been a deep undercover operative, mom was his handler. They’d taught me this as a game when I was a small child, but had used these measures when he wanted to ensure we were getting information from a trustworthy source. This was almost second nature to me.

  I gave the driver the address and assured him I had the envelope my uncle had promised him upon my safe delivery to Marissa’s front door. I just hope she was prepared for me to arrive this early in the morning and wouldn’t be put off because I looked a bit different. I’d caught my reflection in the cab windows and didn’t even recognize myself. I looked gaunt, a shadow of my former self, I’d cut off several inches of my blond mane and dyed it a deep brown. Why did I ever let myself get this way? How could I have been such a fool and fall into Liam’s clutches?

  The cab driver dropped me off just outside the gate and I handed him the envelope. He opened and inspected its contents, before saying, “I never saw you. Good luck to you,” then left without another word.

  My heart pounded as I walked to the keypad and punched in the code that had been given specifically to me. I was thankful I’d never told Liam how close Marissa and I really were. He thought she was just someone I went to school with and that I’d attended a cousin’s wedding and not hers.

  I glanced around to ensure no one was following me. I only saw a jogger who had his face obscured by a baseball cap and sunglasses. He had an iPod strapped to his arm with earbuds in, he was likely listening to music, while he sprinted down the road. His build seemed familiar, but I presumed we didn’t know one another when he didn’t look my way.

  Backpack slung across one shoulder, I went through the gate and watched as it closed, hoping it would protect me from the outside world. I walked the short distance to the front door and rang the doorbell. I hated that it was eight o’clock in the morning and hoped I wasn’t waking them, but felt exposed the longer I stood on the doorstep.

  I was surprised when the door flew open and Marissa immediately pulled me into a hug. “Let’s get you inside before anyone sees you.” She gave me the once-over, her hand reaching up to remove the sunglasses, but I shooed her away.

  “Don’t pull that crap. You know what I went through with Tom; let me see. How bad is the damage? I can already tell you’re hiding from me, and I don’t just mean with the new hairdo and color.” I slid the glasses down to the bridge of my nose, so she could see my eyes, before pushing them back into place.

  “Where’s Dane?” I was worried he’d see how bad I looked and freak out. One nice thing about him, he was very protective of the women in, and close to, his family.

  She put one arm around me; naturally she’d pick the side Liam had wrenched. I winced, so she switched sides and guided me up the stairs. “He’s still sleeping. We’ve been putting in extra hours at work to get ahead of things, so we can take time off when the baby arrives.”

  I was thankful when we reached the top of the stairs and saw that Marissa was heading to the opposite end of the house. I knew there was a guest room right across from their master suite. When Dane’s father first offered Marissa a job, he had requested she live in Dane’s home. He’d claimed it was to keep an eye on his son, but I’d swear the man was playing cupid. I’d heard a few bits and pieces about him and knew he liked to play matchmaker.

  “I’m going to put you in here. There’s an en suite bathroom.” She reached over and grabbed my backpack, looking a bit quizzical. “Is this all you brought?”

  I shook my head. “No. My father should have delivered a huge stuffed bear to you.”

  She started laughing. “We’d wondered who the hell sent us that. The damn thing’s huge, takes up an entire corner of the nursery, and its heavy.”

  I winced and apologized, “I’m so sorry, it was the only way we could think of to sneak some clothes and other things I may need. You’re pregnant, so no one would think anything was unusual with the delivery of a stuffed bear.”

  “Let me go get it for you.” She turned to go, but I quickly grabbed her hand to stop her.

  “It can wait.” My eyes brimmed with tears, and I was swiftly losing control of the iron grip I’d had on my emotions. I hadn’t slept for days, trying to remain undetected while I snuck out of Atlanta. My lips quivered. “I don't want to be a burden, but I didn’t know who else to turn to, or where else to go. If I’d gone to my parents’ he’d have found me for sure.” I wanted to say more, but the words got stuck in my throat, and all I could do was let the tears fall.

  She pulled me into a hug. “I don’t like seeing you like this. You’ve always been the strongest person I know, but I understand how this can happen. I want you to talk to me and tell me everything, when you’re ready. I won’t push you. Would you like something to eat or would you rather I leave you alone for now? You’ve gotten way too thin.”

  That is why I turned to Marissa; she would let me deal with things in my own time, whereas Ashley would push like hell to find out what was wrong. Liam came to the home we all shared to help me prepare for the move to Atlanta, so he’d met Ashley. He had never met Marissa. She’d already moved out by then.

  I was lost in thought when I noticed a tantalizing aroma wafting up the stairs. It smelled like pancakes, warm maple syrup, bacon, and maybe some eggs. My stomach growled rather loudly. She just smiled. “I’m guessing Dane’s up and cooking breakfast for us.”

  She headed out the door and I followed, but wondered, “How did you know it was me at the front door?”

  “When someone enters specific codes into the gate, it triggers the alarm system and sends a text to our phones.” I stopped in my tracks, paralyzed with fear at the thought someone might be able to find me by gaining access to her phone’s text records. She must have realized my fears. “Don’t worry, security doesn’t have anyone’s real name. You’re Ms. Chica Pizzaz.”

  I burst into laughter, for what seemed like the first time in months. Leave it to my friend - incognito with flair. Breakfast def
initely sounded like a plan, especially since the only food I’d eaten in the last three days had been that nice lady’s chips and granola bar. Hopefully, Marissa would keep Dane from asking me any questions right away and allow my nerves to settle a bit. Who was I kidding? I knew I’d be in fight or flight mode for a while. Liam would stop at nothing to find me … but why? There had to be more to it than him wanting me as a mistress.

  THE WEATHER WAS UNSEASONABLY warm, even by Florida standards, for late January. I grew tired of waiting by the phone for Dane or Marissa to call and let me know when Dawn finally arrived. I’d thought about heading down to the exercise room at my condo, but found my cousin Gianna and Nate working out and smooching every few minutes. I knew I couldn’t handle their public displays of affection, so I went back up to grab my iPod, baseball cap, aviators, and changed into some running shoes before hitting the pavement outside.

  I stretched my legs, and did some warm up exercises in front of our building, before taking off toward Dane and Marissa’s place. I loved running in their residential area, since it was only a little over a mile down the road.

  I selected some music, put in my earbuds, but as I was getting ready to take off, I noticed a car with windows tinted so darkly I couldn’t tell who it might be. It was parked across the street from Dane’s place. It looked like the passenger window was partially down with someone peering my direction through a telephoto lens. I felt his eyes on me, which made me uncomfortable, but soon the camera seemed to focus on someone else, as I watched him take several pictures. I shook off my discomfort, shrugged my shoulders, and started running.

  The air was nice and crisp, but heating slowly. It should be illegal for our state to have near summer temperatures in January. At least I’d finish my run before it got too hot.

  The first half-mile was nice. My muscles loosened, my stride lengthened, and the tension I’d been shouldering finally began to ease. I was still worried that no one had heard from Dawn. Too much time had passed since she’d called to ask if she could hole up at Marissa and Danes’. I wasn’t supposed to know, but continually mulled over their overheard conversation. Dawn had deactivated her cell phone, so there was no way to reach her. I hate this fucking waiting game! Did she have any clue what she was putting me … us … through?

  I was a couple blocks away from Dane’s house when I noticed a cab pull up to his front gate and let someone out. I ran in place for a few moments to see if the woman would remove her sunglasses. She handed the driver a thick envelope, and he counted his cash before driving away. Hmm, that’s a bit odd. I noticed the cab company was one I’d often used in Orlando, so the cash she’d just given the driver seemed excessive for a local service.

  The woman’s hair was dark, just past shoulder length, she was too thin for my tastes, and had on too much clothing for this warm spell we were having. She glanced furtively around and proceeded toward the gate. I couldn’t help but think to myself that she’d be lucky if Dane didn’t tell her to get lost. He hated being woken up early, especially on a Saturday.

  She seemed a bit jumpy, becoming startled when she saw me, so I continued jogging past their property. Something kept bugging me, so I hid behind the grand oak around the corner and watched. She dropped her bag on the ground and lowered her glasses, I wondered who we knew who was a Goth, because her eyes looked like they were rimmed in black. Dane would never let her on his property.

  What’s this? She punched a few numbers into the keypad and the gate opened for her. It must be one of Marissa’s relatives or friends. I continued to surreptitiously watch, and noticed she moved stiffly as she bent to retrieve her bag. Holy hell! It couldn’t be, she was way too thin, but I’d know the shape of that ass anywhere. It was Dawn, or at least I think it was. Why all the frumpy clothing and different hairstyle? My gut told me something was seriously wrong. The only problem was how I’d wrangle information from Marissa or Dane.

  I slunk to a nearby hedge, remaining hidden, so no one would see me. I wanted to see if I was right. I watched the front door open and the woman’s chin dropped to her chest. Marissa instantly threw her arms around her. There were only two people my sister in-law would hug that way—her brother, and Dawn.

  I knew I should take my brother’s advice and give her space; but damn it, I wanted her and I knew we were right for each other. Yes, we’d only had one night together, but our passion was explosive. Everything about her called to me. I don’t know how, but she’d managed to cast a spell over my mind and my heart. She now owned me and I’d do anything for her, even risk my life.

  Still hidden in the shrubbery, Marissa welcomed her inside before closing the door. I was furious that I’d been kept out of the loop. I seethed and debated whether or not to march right up to their front door and begin pounding until they let me in. Before I could move, I noticed the same car I’d seen taking pictures in front of my building. It crept by Dane’s house, and I could see someone in the backseat taking snapshots. What the fuck was going on?

  I had no clue what was going on, why, or who was to blame. However, I was certain she was most definitely hiding. Someone was following both of us. She didn’t want to talk to me? Fine, but I was going to hire someone with elite investigative skills to help me figure this shit out. Better yet––I needed Ethan’s help.

  I sprinted back to the condo, bypassed my place, and headed straight to Ethan’s. I passed my cousin Marjorie in the hall, who was cussing up a storm. “You might as well forget about knocking on his door, Rafe. The bastard won’t open it for anyone, lately.” Shaking her head and muttering curses under her breath, she headed to the stairwell to go back down to her floor.

  I ran over to her, placing a hand on her shoulder. “Give the man a break, Marj. He’s been through hell and back, since all that shit happened. He’s still trying to deal with the fact that Marissa’s ex-boyfriend is responsible for causing the accident that killed my sister and put him in a coma.”

  She looked up and nodded, a tear sliding down her cheek. “I know. I thought we were making progress. We’ve been talking, but he’s started pushing me away again. All I am offering him is friendship, nothing more.”

  She wanted to be Ethan’s friend and I could see she needed someone to talk to, but I needed to focus on my relationship with Dawn. I was shocked when I heard my brother’s words came right out of my mouth. “Give him time, cuz. He’s trying to open up. He has to forgive and love himself, before he can care for anyone else. Let him come to you in his own time and be there for him when he’s ready.”

  Her head lifted and she grinned cheekily. She crossed her arms and tapped her foot in frustration, raised her eyebrows and said, “It’s easier said than done, isn’t it lover boy?”

  I didn’t want her to turn the conversation around on me, so I barked, “Whatever!” She snorted and strode away. I knew I should heed those words, but something felt wrong.

  I prayed Ethan was in a good mood. He always acted like a bear with a bur up his ass after physical therapy. I knocked on the door. He hollered, “I told you to leave me the hell alone, Marjorie!”

  He was in a foul mood, but I just knew that whatever Dawn had gotten into was time sensitive. “It’s me, Rafe. I need your help, man.”

  I heard him undo the locks and watched as he cracked open the door and looked around. “Is she gone?”

  I nodded and he opened the door enough for me to go inside, before quickly closing it and bolting all the locks back in place. I knew Ethan had a tendency to be messy, but the place looked like it had been ransacked. “What the hell happened?”

  “I don’t know. I just got back from therapy about ten minutes ago and found the place in shambles.” I watched as he began to push back tossed pillows, books, and clothes with his cane, so he could make a clear path to walk in.

  “Have you called the cops? Was anything stolen?” This had been my brother Dane’s condo before he’d bought his house. It sat empty for a while until Nate moved in for a few months. After their engagem
ent, Nate had moved in with my cousin, Gianna. Everyone agreed it was best that Ethan live here while he was recovering. This was a convenient place to rent—it was fully furnished, and mostly family, along with a few co-workers lived in the building. I’d even used the place for a bit when I was having my place painted and redecorated. I can’t believe this. We’ve never had a break-in before and he’s only been here a few months.

  He turned to me, uneasiness evident in his eyes. “I don’t want Marjorie to see this … she’d flip out. As far as I can tell, nothing’s been stolen. Everything is still here, but it’s definitely been tossed. This so-called state of the art security system and my locks didn’t seem to deter whoever broke in. It’s a damned good thing that my computer system has a fail safe —I programmed it to activate if anyone attempted to break in to it. Three failed password attempts and the computer locks down, an alarm sounds, and a verbal warning that the cops have been called, is issued.” He ran a hand through his hair, looking around, and surveying the damage. “I guess it’s a good thing my bluff worked. I’ve not had an opportunity to program it to actually call the cops yet.”

  I shook my head. “Do you want me to call them? I can wait with you until they arrive and help you clean up afterwards.”

  “I can’t call them.” His voice sounded panicked.

  I didn’t understand until he handed me a note that read:

  “Who the hell left this?”

  Ethan shook his head with a look of confusion on his face. “That’s the thing. I don’t know. I was worried the note might be about Marjorie, but I haven’t done anything other than talk to her at work or occasionally have coffee together on our breaks. I’m afraid to call the cops in case the note is about her. I want her to be safe.”