“I’ll let you get changed,” said Walter, standing up and heading for the door. “Meet me in the lobby.”
By the time he’d driven me home and helped me settle on the sofa, insisting on staying until Daniel got home, I realized I’d gotten to know Walter surprisingly well in these last few hours. As he washed the glasses in the sink, I contemplated what a strange turn the day’s events had taken.
“You need some real food,” he came out and announced at one point, drying his hands on a dishtowel. “What sounds good?”
I shrugged. I still didn’t really feel hungry, but the doctor had told me to make sure and eat. Then, I remembered something.
“There’s leftover alfredo in the fridge,” I said. “I could probably have that.”
“Sure,” said Walter, heading over to dig it out. “I’ll make sure to heat it up real good. Don’t want to be responsible for you getting some weird pregnancy sickness.”
I found myself smiling.
Eleven
Daniel stopped dead in his tracks after opening the front door.
“Dad?” he said, looking at Walter with utter confusion.
“Hope your meeting went well,” Walter said, coming over to shake his hand. Daniel did, reluctantly. “It’s nice to see you again.”
“I just…I assumed you’d be gone before I got home,” Daniel replied, tightly. He dropped his briefcase on the floor.
“I was planning on it,” said Walter. “But then your wife took a little spill. She’s fine, don’t worry, the baby’s fine. Guess she didn’t eat breakfast this morning and her blood sugar, or her blood pressure, or both - took a big dip. We already went to the hospital. Three thousand dollar bill to hear ‘make sure to eat some food occasionally.” He smiled. “But that’s your problem, not mine.”
It took a moment for all of this to sink in. “Maddy,” said Daniel sharply, coming over to me. I was reclining on the sofa. “Why the hell didn’t you call?”
“Because I was fine,” I insisted, as he knelt beside me. “It was just stupid of me not to eat breakfast.”
“Jesus Christ.” Daniel’s eyes darted all over my body, as if he were looking for some source of the problem. “Are you sure that’s all it is? Did they run tests?”
“Did you hear what I said?” Walter cut in. “Three thousand dollars. That wasn’t just for the paper gown, I’m pretty sure.”
“Thank you,” Daniel snapped. “Would you mind if I had a conversation with my wife for a minute?”
“Sure, sure.” Walter picked up his jacket. “It’s time for me to get out of here anyway.”
“Thank you, Walter,” I called after him as he left, but the only answer I got was the sound of the door slamming.
“You could have been a little more considerate,” I said, propping myself up on my elbows. “He drove me to the hospital, and then stayed with me all day.”
“What, you mean he fulfilled the basic requirements for being a decent human being?” Daniel slumped down on the floor before I had a chance to move my feet. “I’ll be sure to send him a fruit basket.”
“He was very nice,” I said. “Eventually.”
Daniel craned his neck to look at me. “And what does that mean? Eventually?”
“Well, things got a little heated when I was trying to interview him. But once I passed out…”
“Wait, wait, wait.” Daniel twisted his whole body around. “You were fighting with him just beforehand?”
“Well, not just. We’d kind of…we were trying to switch gears and get back to business.”
“But you were agitated,” Daniel insisted. “He upset you.”
“I…yes, I guess so.”
“God damn it!” he shouted. I winced. “This only happened because of him!”
“Of course it didn’t. Don’t be ridiculous.”
“You mean to tell me if he hadn’t come over, if he hadn’t been…Walter, you still would had your - episode?”
“Maybe! I don’t know!” I struggled to sit up straighter. “Daniel, please. Don’t go down this road. Blaming him for this isn’t going to get you anywhere. And besides, in case you missed this little footnote, I’m fine.”
“Yes, but what if you hadn’t been?”
“He would have taken care of me. What if it happened and he hadn’t been here? I could have hit my head on something. Who knows? There’s no use in speculating.”
Daniel was fuming. “All the same, I don’t want you meeting with him anymore. Nothing good can possibly come of it.”
“Actually,” I said, sensing that switching tracks was the only way to get out of this conversation, “I’m getting some decent stories from him.”
He sighed, leaning back against the sofa. “Well,” he said. “I suppose that makes it all worthwhile.”
“He told me about you taking apart ‘the Nintendo.’”
Daniel half-smiled. “Oh, yeah,” he said, softly, his voice taking on a slightly different tone. “I’d almost forgotten about that. It was already outdated by the time I got it. It wasn’t in the box, either, so thinking back I’m sure it was a hand-me-down. But what a birthday that was.”
“It was a hand-me down,” I said. “From his boss’s son.”
“Oh, that makes sense. They always had money. I’m sure he got the next one as soon as it hit the stores.”
I relaxed a little, leaning my head back on the armrest.
“Did he tell you about the time I took it apart?”
I swallowed. “Yeah,” I said. “We don’t have to talk about that right now, if you don’t want.”
“It’s fine,” he said. “It was such a long time ago. Barely even feels like it happened. I’d forgotten until now.”
“He sounded pretty regretful about his reaction,” I said. “In hindsight. He recognizes it was a sign of you becoming…well, you.”
“At the time, though, he thought it was frivolous.” Daniel exhaled. “I remember it now, very clearly, I can’t believe I ever forgot - he was yelling so loud his eyes nearly popped out of his head. ‘I’ll be god damned if any son of mine turns into some ridiculous fuckin’ Willy Wonka toy-maker!’ He thought it was a fad. Everything’s always a fad to people with no vision.”
I stared at the ceiling. “He just wanted you to have a nice gift that he wouldn’t have to worry about paying off,” I said. “He was afraid you’d ruined it, and you’d be sad.”
“He hated that thing.” Daniel chewed on the edge of his thumbnail. “Always threatened to throw it in the garbage if I didn’t unplug it so he could watch his shows.”
We were both silent for a long time after that.
***
At my twelve-week appointment, I made sure to tell them about the fainting incident. They all agreed with the doctor I’d seen - nothing to be terribly concerned about, as long as it didn’t keep happening, and everything else looked just fine.
The ultrasound pictures were a trip and a half. I couldn’t quite conceptualize the whole thing, looking at them on a monitor in a cold room while Daniel squeezed my hand with an unreadable expression on his face, and I tried to ignore the persistent urging of my bladder. But after we got home and he was spreading the prints out on the coffee table, staring at them like they were the Rosetta Stone, I took another look.
Holy fucking shit, there was a tiny human inside me.
Daniel was tracing the outline of a face with his index finger. They said it was a girl, with a fifteen percent margin of error. It really just looked like a blob to me. A vaguely baby-shaped blob. We’d paid extra for the intensely freaky 3D pictures, rather than the traditional X-ray style ones, and I was really starting to regret it.
I rested my hand on my stomach. I could feel the bump now, and in certain clothes, I could see it. But still, it was hard to believe that our little daughter was living comfortably in there.
“This is freaking me out,” I said. “I don’t mind saying.”
“I think it’s amazing,” said Daniel, softly.
“Sure,”
I said. “But you’re not the one with the person growing inside you. It’s a little bit hard to wrap my head around.”
“Just take it one day at a time.” Daniel was holding one of the pictures up to the light.
“Oh, gee, thanks. That’s very helpful.” I got up and went out to the kitchen. I needed a break from terrifying ultrasound images.
“Do you want to call Lindsey?” he asked. “Or should I?”
“If you call again, she might not pick up,” I said. “I’ll do it.”
The call ended up going to her voicemail anyway. “Hey, Lindsey, call me back when you get a chance. I’ve got something to tell you.” I paused. “It’s not about…the other thing. You’re going to want to hear this. Talk to you soon.”
My phone started ringing almost immediately after I hung up.
“What? What? WHAT?” Lindsey shrieked.
“Guess,” I said, smiling.
“YOU’RE PREGNANT.”
“Apparently,” I said, pulling the phone away from my ear and turning it on speaker.
“OH MY GOD. OH MY GOD. IT’S TRUE.” There some kind of loud, unidentifiable noise in the background. “How far along?”
“Twelve weeks,” said Daniel, coming over. “They think it’s a girl.”
“OH MY GOD!”
“I’ll send you some of the ultrasound pictures,” Daniel went on. “Maddy can’t look at them anymore. It’s going to give her nightmares.”
“Fuck off,” I said, grinning at him. “Lindsey, seriously, you need to come down and visit. I’ve got all this wine I can’t drink. I want to give it to you.”
“Uh, obviously I’m coming to visit!” There was a moment of silence. “What’s the situation with…you know, everything else?”
“He’s still in town,” Daniel said. “We don’t have to tell him you’re here, if you don’t want.”
Lindsey let out a gigantic sigh. “I just don’t know what to do, Danny. Of course I want to see him again, you know? I want to hug him, and punch him, and kick him in the testicles. But I don’t know if any of those things is a good idea.”
“He never was much of a hugger,” Daniel said, smiling. “Well, I’m sure he’d love to see you.”
“Ugh.” Lindsey sighed again. “But, you know, that’s great news. About the baby. I’m really excited for you. But I guess that article I saw was a little bit off on the timing, wasn’t it? You must barely be showing now.”
“Yeah, it wasn’t a real baby bump,” I said. “Just an unfortunate angle, and a hell of a coincidence.”
“I figured,” said Lindsey. “That’s why I didn’t bug you about it. I mean, how insulting, right? Your own sister in law believing news about your life from a tabloid. I figured you’d tell me when you were ready.” There was a slight noise, like her shifting the phone to the other side. “Danny, how are you taking it?”
“Fine,” said Daniel, looking remarkably complacent to fit his tone. “Just fine. It was a bit of a shock at first, we weren’t planning it. But all things considered, you know, I’m happy.”
“Well, that’s just great,” said Lindsey. “Look, I’ve got a meeting, I need to go, but I’m going to figure out when I can get away and come down for a visit as soon as I can. Okay?” She hesitated. “Don’t tell dad for now. I’m not sure about that yet.”
“Of course,” said Daniel. “See you soon.”
She hung up, and I still couldn’t wipe the smile off my face.
“Are you happy?” I asked, looking at Daniel. I knew the answer. I just wanted to hear it.
“Of course,” he said. “Of course I am.” He reached across the table and took my hand. “Seriously, for a girl, you don’t like Lila?”
“It sounds like…I don’t know.” I frowned. “It’s almost sinister, isn’t it? Like a demon or something.”
“That’s Lilith, dear.”
“Well, that’s still too close.” I shook my head. “I don’t know. I have no idea. I don’t want to saddle her with something she’ll hate.”
“Catherine is nice and versatile.”
“And boring.”
“You’re incredibly picky.” He frowned. “What about Olivia?”
“It’s so formal-sounding, don’t you think?”
“Christ.”
“Look, we’ve got plenty of time to figure it out. Why don’t you whittle it down to a top ten on your own time, and then I can shoot them all down later.” I smiled at him. “Besides, it might still be a boy.”
“If it is,” said Daniel, “let’s never speak of these few weeks when we were convinced he was a girl.”
I laughed for a solid minute and a half.
***
I stopped by the gallery again, armed with a few coffees - decaf for me - and hoping to have another conversation with Curtis, in which he might be a little more easily persuaded.
Walking through the main room, I couldn’t help but notice all the red dots on so many of the pieces. A seed of an idea was growing in the back of my mind.
“Maddy,” he said, when he saw me, “I didn’t expect to see you.”
“I was in the neighborhood, just thought I’d stop by,” I said, handing him his drink. “You’re really selling the place out.”
“Yeah, it’s amazing how many people turn out when they hear the phrase ‘going out of business.’” He sat down, and as I took off my coat, I noticed his eyes drifting to the increasingly obvious bulge in my stomach.
“Okay,” I said. “So elephant in the room, yes, I’m pregnant.”
“Oh my God,” he jumped up and ran over to me, hugging me sideways. “Honey, that’s so great. Congratulations.”
“It’s a little bit overwhelming,” I said. “We weren’t exactly…”
“Well, you’ll get used to the idea, I’m sure,” said Curtis. “How’s your husband taking it?”
“He’s sort of…” I had to search for the right word. “…in awe, I think. He’s scared to, but he seems to be taking to the idea. They say it’s a girl, probably.”
“A little girl,” he said. “Wow.”
“I don’t know,” I said. “It’s a lot to think about. A girl, especially. There’s just so much pressure. How do you even raise a little girl in this world? I mean, I know how not to, thanks to my parents. But aside from that? God. I keep feeling like I’m going to make some kind of huge, horrible mistake.”
“I might be totally off-base with this,” said Curtis, “but I’ve always thought that the fear of making a huge mistake will usually keep you humble enough to be a good parent. That’s the trick, I think, really. You have to stay in awe of the fact that you have so much influence over another person’s life, rather than taking it for granted and getting drunk on the power of it.”
“That’s a great way to put it.” I smiled. “Daniel’s father, he…he was power-tripping pretty hard, from the sounds of it. My parents kind of did the same thing. Didn’t want to let me make any decisions about my own life.”
“It’s hard,” said Curtis. “Believe me, it’s hard.”
“I didn’t know you had kids.”
He raised his index finger. “Just the one. A daughter, as it happens. She’s…she’s very happy, she’s doing her thing. She’s nothing like me. Or her mother, really. Don’t know where that one came from.” He was smiling, but I could tell there was something beneath the surface. “Works for the government. I’m very proud of her. But…yeah, you know, there were times when I wanted to ‘put my foot down’ and tell her she was making the wrong decision. Because I was sure it was wrong. Which it would have been - for me. And sometimes, it was the wrong decision for her, too. But she had to make it herself. She had to figure it out on her own, or she’d never really learn. The last thing I wanted to do was raise someone who was terrified of making the wrong decision, because then, you just do nothing.”
I nodded, nursing my decaf.
“Letting go is the hardest thing,” he said. “You don’t ever stop thinking about them. It’s lik
e having a limb cut off. A piece of you is out there somewhere, and you can’t really control what happens to it. You find yourself trying to read their minds, sometimes. You want to know what they’re thinking so you can really help them, really cut through all the bullshit, but you can’t. You just have to trust them to honest with you, and hope that they trust your advice. And, you know, throw out the stuff that doesn’t really apply to them.” He paused. “I guess really, at the heart of it, it’s just about accepting that they’ve grown up.”
“Ugh.” I stretched my legs out in front of me. “I’m so clueless.”
“You’ll figure it out.” He reached over and patted my arm.
“I can’t believe I won’t be able to bring her in here and tell her all about Mommy’s first art show,” I said. “Because I’m sure she’d find that absolutely fascinating.”
“She’ll be very proud of your art, I’m sure,” said Curtis. “As soon as she’s old enough to understand what it is.”
I rotated my cup around on the desk, slowly. “Have you thought any more about what we were talking about last time?” I met his eyes. “About opening a new gallery?”
He shook his head. “Maddy, you can keep barking up that tree all day and all night. It’s not going to happen. You can get a showing at any gallery you want now, you don’t need to waste any time worrying about me.”
“I can’t help it,” I said. “You deserve better than this.”
“Evidently, I don’t,” he said. “I made a series of decisions that landed me here. It might not be ‘fair,’ exactly, but I have to accept it.” He looked at me, and smiled. “Don’t get me wrong. I appreciate what you’re trying to do here. But I’m at peace with it now. I’m done with this business. It was great fun while it lasted, and it brought me a lot of beautiful things, but there’s no reason to extend it beyond what it was meant to be.” He let out a long, slow breath. “I’m done, Maddy.”
***
“Now, I don’t normally do maternity.” Emily was fitting a tailor’s tape around my waist. “But, I was able to make a few phone calls and get in some special orders for you. The problem, of course, is that by the time any alterations are done, it might not fit anymore and we’re back to square one. It’s a challenge. Which is, as I said, why we don’t really do maternity.” She stopped and smiled. “But for you, of course - anything.”
I Married a Billionaire: The Prodigal Son (Contemporary Romance) Page 12