by E. K. Blair
“Jesse, faster. I need it faster.”
I groaned as I started thrusting faster. I couldn’t keep this up much longer, but I didn’t want to come without her.
“I can’t hold back, baby. I have to go harder.”
“I’m okay. Go ahead.”
I let go, allowing pure instinct to take over, as I thrust hard and fast into her, over and over. She clung to me as she squeezed her legs tighter around me. Sweat dripped off of my nose and onto her, running down her cheek. Our bodies were both covered in sweat as we worked together. She screamed out my name as she came, and I let go. I gave one final thrust deep inside her as I came. Her muscles squeezed me until I wanted to scream in both pleasure and agony.
This girl was going to be the death of me.
I kept my weight on my elbows as my head dropped to her shoulder. I was exhausted, but I didn’t want to crush her.
“Are you okay?” she asked.
I raised my head to look at her. “I think that’s supposed to be my line.”
She smiled. “Whoops, sorry.”
“I’m fine. That was fun.” I pulled out and rolled to my side.
“It was. Thank you for being so gentle with me. I know that had to be hard for you.”
“Not at all. I didn’t want to hurt you. I feel like an asshole for hurting you as much as I did.”
“You were as easy as you could be.”
I kissed her nose before I stood up. “I’ll be right back.” “Where are you going?” she asked.
“I need to clean up.”
I walked to the bathroom and threw the condom away. I made sure to wrap it in toilet paper, so no one would notice it. I grabbed a washcloth and wet it with warm water before returning to her room. She was still on the bed in the exact same spot that I’d left her in. Her eyes were closed, but she opened them as I nudged her legs apart and started wiping away the small amount of blood that was there.
“Thank you,” she whispered.
I threw the washcloth in the hamper in her room before lying down on the bed beside her. “No thanks needed.”
“I think I’m falling for you,” she said as she laid her head on my chest.
“I kind of figured that after you let me do that to you a few minutes ago.”
She propped herself up on her elbow and smacked my bare chest with her free hand. “That’s not what I meant. The deeper I get in with you, the harder I fall. I think I’m falling in love with you.”
For once in my life, I was speechless. I had no idea how to respond to that. Do I care a lot about her? Damn straight. But do I love her? I have no idea. The thought of loving someone scared me.
“You don’t have to say it back or anything. I just wanted you to know,” she said quietly.
“I’m not sure what to say. I’ve never even considered the possibility of loving someone. I care a lot about you, but I’m not sure I’m ready to say that to you.”
“I understand. If you ever do feel that way, please don’t hide it from me.
I promise that I won’t ever hurt you.”
I kissed her forehead. “I know. I can’t say I love you yet, but I can tell you that you’re the closest I’ve ever let myself get to someone.”
“That means a lot, especially coming from someone like you.”
We were both silent as I held her close. I had no idea what was happening, but I did know that things were changing. I could see it happening right before my eyes. And for a split second, I wasn’t scared of it.
Sometime later, I woke up to the sound of my phone ringing. Emma was still sound asleep beside me. I slid my arm out from under her and climbed from the bed. My phone was on the dresser, and I grabbed it just as it stopped ringing. I unlocked it to see three missed calls from my mom and one from Andy. I had several unread text messages, too—most of them from my mom and one from Andy, reminding me about the party tonight.
After sending him a quick reply to let him know that Emma and I were still planning on being there, I opened the ones from my mom. They had all been sent within the last two hours. I glanced at the time and cursed. It was almost noon, and Emma wasn’t at school.
Mom: Call me.
Another one had been sent only a few minutes after the first.
Mom: I need to talk to you about something. Please call me.
There were several others like this. The last one had been sent minutes ago.
Mom: Jesse, I’m getting worried. Please call me. I need to talk to you.
I hit Reply and sent her a text to let her know that I’d be home soon. I hated to leave Emma, but it was obvious that something was up with my mom. I slipped back into my shirt and shorts before walking back to the bed.
I shook Emma gently. “Emma, wake up.”
She moaned as she opened her eyes to look up at me. “What time is it?”
“It’s noon. You missed school.”
“Shit!” she shouted as she sat up.
“There’s no point in going in now.”
“I know. I can’t believe we fell back asleep.”
“I can. We wore each other out.”
Her cheeks turned pink in embarrassment. “True.”
“My mom keeps calling. I need to head home.”
“Let me get dressed, and I’ll drive you back.” She stood and started throwing on her clothes.
After driving across town back to my house, she parked out front and waited for me to get out.
“Don’t forget that we are supposed to meet Andy tonight for his party.” I leaned over and kissed her.
“I won’t. I’ll meet you back here in a few hours.”
“Later, babe.” I got out and walked to my front door.
My mom was sitting in the chair closest to the door when I walked in. From the look on her face, I knew whatever she had to say wasn’t going to be pleasant. I didn’t want to deal with any bullshit after the night and morning I’d just shared with Emma. I wanted to be happy even if it was just for a little while.
“I got your texts. What’s wrong?” I asked.
“Nothing. I have some good news actually. But first, where were you last night?”
“I stayed with Emma.”
She looked at me disapprovingly. “Are you two having sex?”
“Does it matter?”
“Of course it matters! You’re my son, and I don’t want you to get into a bad situation.”
“Bad situation?”
“You could get her pregnant, Jesse! How would you handle school, a job, a girlfriend, and a baby?”
“Oh, for fuck’s sake! I’m not going to get her pregnant!”
“You don’t know that. I like Emma. I really do. But you are both so young, and you have your whole lives ahead of you.”
“I’m done with this. If I’m having sex, it’s my choice.”
My mother took a deep breath. “Look, I don’t want to fight. I just want you to be careful.”
“I always am. Now, let’s move on to what you wanted to talk to me about.”
“This isn’t over, just so you know.”
“Whatever. Spill.”
“Well, I wanted to talk to you about Mark.”
“Let’s not, and pretend we did. I was in a good mood until I came home.
Let’s not ruin the rest of my day.”
“Stop acting like an immature brat. You’re just proving my point from earlier. You’re not ready for the responsibility of a baby. You have a lot of growing up to do, Jesse, even if you don’t realize it.”
“Fine. Point made. Tell me about Mark.”
She smiled that lovesick smile I’d seen on her face when he came over for dinner. This was going to get ugly fast.
“Mark has to leave sooner than expected.”
I raised an eyebrow. “Why are you smiling if he’s leaving?”
“Well...Mark and I have been talking. He wants us to move to West
Virginia with him.”
“That was sweet of him. I still don’t get why
you’re smiling.” Sarcasm filled my voice.
“I want to go, Jesse.”
I froze, just completely froze. There was no way that I’d heard that right.
“Whoa, back up. I don’t think I heard you right.”
She had to be kidding. There was no way that she could uproot our entire lives over a man she’d only known a few weeks.
“You did. It just feels...right. I don’t know how to explain it.”
I felt the same way whenever I tried to figure out my feelings about Emma. I couldn’t explain them. They were just there. But my mom couldn’t possibly feel the same way about Mark. She just couldn’t. As immature as she made me out to be, we’d supported each other just fine over the past few years. I didn’t want things to change.
“You can’t just leave everything for this guy. You have a life here.”
“I have a crappy job as a waitress, and we live in a trailer in one of the worst parts of town. The only thing I have here that matters is you, and you’ll come with me.”
“I’m not leaving California.”
“You don’t have a choice, Jesse. You’re not eighteen yet, and I am still your guardian.”
“I’ll be eighteen soon. If you force me to go with you, I’ll just come back the minute I’m legally an adult. You can’t stop me,” I said stubbornly. There was no way that she was going to force me to move clear across the country.
“Please don’t act like this. Just consider it, honey. I think it would be good for both of us.”
“It would be good for both of us? No, it would be good for you. I’d be leaving everything behind—Andy, Ally, the shop, surfing, and Emma.”
My mom was quiet as she chewed on her lip. She knew I was right. I couldn’t understand how she would expect me to give up everything just because she wanted to follow this guy wherever he went. My mom was usually a lot more levelheaded than this.
“I know it will be hard, but you’ll make new friends.”
“No, I won’t. I’m not giving everything up. If you want to go, then go.
But don’t expect me to follow you.”
I felt like a dirty bastard as her eyes filled with tears, but I held my ground.
“I don’t know what you want me to do. I want to go with him, but I want you to come with me.”
“If you want to go, then go. But I won’t go with you.”
“Will you at least consider it?”
“No, I won’t. I’m not leaving Emma.”
“Would you still feel the same way if you weren’t with Emma?”
“Yeah, I would. I wouldn’t leave Andy and Ally either.”
She rested her chin on her hands. “Jesse, I don’t know what you want me to say. If you stay here, you’ll be responsible for the bills and the rent. How do you plan to make enough money for all of that and go to school?”
I had no idea. Maybe I could get another job for the days when I didn’t work at the shop. “I’ll figure something out. I always do.”
“You’re seventeen, Jesse. You shouldn’t have to figure anything out.”
“I’m done with this conversation. I’m not going with you, and nothing you say will change my mind.”
I turned and walked right back out the front door. Screw this. If she wants to give up everything for some asshole she barely knows, then more power to her.
But aren’t you choosing Emma over your mom when you barely know her? a voice said in the back of my head, but I ignored it.
What I had with Emma was completely different from what my mom had with Mark. But then again, how would I know that? I’d refused to be around Mark since we had dinner that one night.
I shook my head. I didn’t want to think about this shit right now. So, I didn’t.
I grabbed my board and spent the rest of the afternoon at the beach by myself. As always, surfing helped to clear my head. I focused only on the board underneath me and the waves I was trying to catch.
I had no idea what time it was when I finally climbed out of the water, but I knew I needed to get back to the house to meet up with Emma for Andy’s party. I hadn’t seen Andy all day, but I knew where we always partied. It was a few miles down the beach in a spot only the locals knew about. I had to climb a ridge and a few decently sized rocks to even reach the place. Most of the locals knew about it, but they stayed away because of the effort it took to get there. We’d used it for years and had never had any issues.
I floored it all the way back home, hoping to get there before Emma did.
She’d beat me though. Her car was sitting in the driveway when I pulled in. At least my mom had already left for work. I didn’t want her to tell Emma about the move. Emma would feel like my decision was based on her, and I didn’t want her to feel any guilt. I knew I had to tell her what was happening eventually, but tonight wasn’t the night.
Tonight was all about having fun and introducing her to everyone else I’d grown up with. I knew she’d be nervous, but I wasn’t worried. Once they get to know her, they’d love her as much as I do.
I froze in mid-step as I realized what I’d just thought. I’d thought I loved her. I didn’t though. At least, I didn’t think I did. Love was a scary concept to me, and I didn’t want to even think about it.
“Jesse? You okay?” Emma called from beside her car.
“What? Yeah, I’m good. I just need to change before we head out.”
“Okay, that’s fine. Do I look okay?”
I grinned as I inspected her. She was wearing a bright pink bikini under an almost completely see-through cover. The colors coupled with the dark tan of her skin were striking. Suddenly, I didn’t want to go to this party. I wanted to take her to my room and keep her there all night.
“You look fine.”
“Just fine? I brought a few different bikinis in case you thought this didn’t look good. I just want to fit in.”
“You’ll never fit in. You’ll always be the one who stands out from the crowd.”
Her frown turned to a smile at my words. “You’re so sweet.”
“Don’t tell anyone that, especially at the party tonight. I have a badass reputation to uphold.”
“I don’t know how you got that reputation. You’re definitely not a badass.”
“I don’t have to be when my best friend is Andy. He gets in enough trouble for the both of us. I’ve always been guilty by association.”
She laughed. “Well, I don’t think you’re a badass, and I never have.
Occasionally, you can be intimidating though.”
“Is that so?” I asked as I stepped closer to her.
She automatically took a step back and bumped into her car. I placed a hand on each side of her, blocking her in between the car and me.
“You’re not intimidating me right now.”
“Are you sure about that?” I whispered as I leaned down to brush my lips against her ear.
She shivered. “I’m sure.”
“I think you’re lying.”
I pulled back to look down into her eyes. There was lust in them but no intimidation.
“Maybe I am, but maybe I’m not.”
I grinned as I stepped away from her and started walking to the house. She was definitely holding her own when it came to me. That was good. I didn’t like timid girls. She followed as I walked inside, and I continued back to my room. As soon as I was inside, I slipped out of my swim trunks and started searching through my dresser for a dry pair.
“Jesse!”
I turned around to see her blushing furiously as she stared down at the floor. “What?”
“You’re...you’re naked!”
“And?”
“People don’t just randomly walk around naked.”
“Don’t tell me you’re embarrassed,” I said as I lifted an eyebrow.
Her cheeks were still pink. “A little bit. Give me some kind of warning next time or something.”
I couldn’t help myself. I had to torture her. I closed the dresser drawer
. She continued to stare at the floor as I walked across the room until I was standing directly in front of her.
“Why are you embarrassed? You’ve already seen me naked.”
“I don’t know. I’m not used to this sort of thing.”
I laughed. “What? Being naked?”
“Yeah. Until this morning, I’d never seen someone the way I saw you.”
I liked that—a lot. I had been her first, and no one could ever take that away from us.
“Is that so? Well, maybe I should walk around like this more often.”
She raised her eyes to meet mine. “You’re just playing with me. That’s mean.”
I grabbed her hand to yank her tight against me. I felt my dick respond the second that her body touched mine. The cover she wore was thin enough that it felt like nothing was between us.
“Does it feel like I’m playing to you?”
Her breath hitched as I slid our hands between our bodies.
I placed her hand on my shaft. “Does it?”
She shook her head. “No.”
“I didn’t think so. You’d better get used to seeing me naked because if I have any say in it, you’ll be seeing me that way a lot.”
“I never know what to say when you tell me something like that.” She squeezed her hand around me, and I bit back a moan.
“You’re not supposed to say anything.” I gave her a mischievous grin.
“We need to leave, or we’ll be late,” she whispered.
“Who cares? I’d rather stay here with you.”
“Would you really? Even if all we did was just cuddle?”
“I really would. Besides, cuddling often leads to other things,” I said as I ran a finger down her collarbone. “Are you sore from this morning?”
“A little bit, but it’s not unbearable or anything like that.”
“Good.”
“What are you doing?” she squealed as I picked her up and carried her to my bed.
“We’re going to be late.”
I felt breathless as Jesse threw me down on the bed and pounced on top of me. His body covered mine completely. There wasn’t an inch of me that wasn’t touching him. I could feel my pulse pounding away as he looked down at me. Dear God. The look in his eyes made me shiver. He wanted me. No, he wanted to eat me alive.