by Lila Dubois
“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, for both of us. All I wanted was to stop your suffering, stop your pain. I didn’t understand that I would lose you forever. I hope someday that you will forgive me. I will try; I will scour the library for a spell, a way to turn you back. I will ask the Queen; sacrifice whatever is needed, to find a way to make you human again.” The promises tumbled from her lips. Horror at what she’d done pulsed through her.
Anleeh pulled out of her arms. His jaws opened and closed, as if he were trying to speak, but could not. He reached out a paw, placing it against her thigh, and pushed, leaning against her, before pulling it away.
“Anleeh, I don’t understand.”
He jerked his head to one side, and then repeated the motion. With a leap he bounded away, moving to his family. Father and Uncle parted, and Raven, laughing and crying, dropped to her knees, embracing Anleeh without hesitation or reserve, speaking into one of his small rounded ears.
Anleeh jerked his head in a nod, then turned away, looking back at Siara once more, before he took off running, headed for the woods.
Raven lifted her arms to the sky, and a shimmering white light surrounded her. The light condensed into a tight ball and then exploded in a shower of sparks, Raven’s white furs dropping to the ground. A raven, obsidian feathers glittering in the sun, streaked into the sky.
Around her, the people of Den were still. Siara did not stay to see what happened. She took off running, chasing after Anleeh.
She ran until the forest closed around her, ran without direction, but also without fear. When she finally stumbled into the clearing she’d met Anleeh in the other night, she stopped, one hand holding the stitch in her side as she scanned the ground for him. A yowl startled a scream out of her.
“Anleeh? Is that you? Make that scary noise again if it is.”
The yowl came again, broken slightly, as if he were laughing. Siara headed for the noise, scanning the forest floor.
“Anleeh?”
An odd huffing noise came from above her. Siara looked up and there, lounging on a branch, was Anleeh. His tail lowered, twitching against her cheek and then flipping her hair, playing with her.
She caught his tail, holding it still. “You seem … happy?”
His tail flexed in her grip.
“Indeed. This is somewhat vexing. Two tail taps means yes, one means no, did you understand that?” She released his tail, and he tapped twice to say yes he was happy and then twice again to say he understood.
“I cannot believe I am having a conversation with a leopard.” The tip of his tail stroked down her cheek, and it reminded her of the way he would stroke her face. Her sorrow of a few moments ago came flooding back.
“I’m—I’m so sorry. I didn’t know, but I will find a way to change you back, I swear it.”
He thumped his tail once against her shoulder.
“No? Oh, well then, of course, I can understand that you would prefer to be a leopard.” Her words fell hard and fast as embarrassment tinted her cheeks. I am a fool for letting myself hope you loved me. “I will—I will tell the King and Queen…” I dreamed you loved me and wanted to spend the rest of your days with me, “—something. I should go.”
She turned away as his tail thumped her, hiding her sorrow, not wanting to burden his new freedom with her grief.
Anleeh leapt from the branch and landed before her, lips pulled up, teeth bared. He herded her backwards, radiating menace, until her back hit a tree.
“Anleeh please … you are frightening me. Please, just let me go.”
A black bird fluttered down to rest on Anleeh’s back. Siara blinked, and instead of a bird, Raven, fully human, stood beside Anleeh.
“Why do you weep, Daughter?”
Siara’s mouth opened and closed several times, her thoughts whirling, reactions, emotions, conclusions, all jumping to the front of her brain.
“I—I thought that I’d turned him into a leopard.”
Raven laughed, “You have.”
“I mean … forever, but you … changed back.”
“Yes, and so will he.”
One minute Siara was standing against the tree, the next she was sitting down, relief having weakened her knees.
“He can change back?”
“Yes, but he needs your help.”
“What do I do?”
“Put you hands on him, now imagine as a human.”
Siara dug her fingers into Anleeh’s fur, petting him as he rested his massive head against her shoulder, and pulled up her memories of him, the laughing debonair Lord, the firm teacher, the careful lover. She remembered his taste and the weight of his body on hers, the feel of him inside her, the safety of his arms, and the thrill of knowing him.
Light pressed in on her closed lids, and then it was flesh, not fur, she held.
“Siara,” he whispered, “open your eyes, lover.”
“I am afraid.”
“Do not be.”
She did as he ordered, and the man she loved, dark hair tousled, beautiful green eyes calm, looked back at her. He smiled, tentatively, and Siara let out a watery laugh—how she loved his smile. His tentative smile grew confident and he pulled her into his arms, hugging her.
They held each other for several moments, letting their souls take comfort in one another’s touch.
Anleeh drew back first, and cupped her face, looking into her eyes.
“Siara, I love you.”
Siara smiled, “I know.”
Chapter Fourteen
“Why didn’t you tell me?”
“Tell you what?”
“That you could turn into an animal.”
“I didn’t know. I knew what my mother is, but I thought that her blood is what made my beast so strong, so uncontrollable. I did not know that my beast could manifest, that want of that is what made him so hard to control.”
Siara repositioned her cheek against Anleeh’s shoulder and he turned and kissed her forehead. They were lying together on a mound of furs in a deserted cabin outside the walls. They’d come here, running through the trees, holding hands, driven by a need to touch and be touched, to confirm that they were alive, that they had survived.
The first coupling had taken place against the wall of the cabin, Siara clinging to Anleeh, wrapped tight to him as he slammed into her, his cock huge inside her, filling every inch so completely that the first few thrusts danced with pain, beautiful because he, and his burning need for her, caused it.
With their lips sealed together, he’d taken her, used her for his pleasure, quick to come after so many days apart. Then he’d laid her down beside him, stroking her gently, fingers inside her sex as he rubbed her clit, kissing her slowly. He overwhelmed her with his touch, from his hands in her sex to his lips on hers, chests pressed together, hand at her neck, cradling her head.
She came that way, moaning against his lips, her cries escalating into screams of pleasure as his fingers forced her to climax again, and then once more, his thumb carefully brushing her pulsing, sensitive clit.
Siara ran her hands over his chest, careful of the pink, newly healed scars. Anleeh would wear the mark of the bear claws forever, though they were greatly healed after his change to leopard and back.
“Why did your uncle do this?”
Anleeh laughed, “It is called the Bear’s Mark, and it is the highest honor a warrior can achieve. It is given to warn others, for a warrior who wears the Bear’s Mark always goes bare-chested into battle, and to withstand the pain of it, and the healing of it, is a sign of honor for the warrior. It marks him as an animal.”
Siara put on a mock frown. “I rather think that your turning into a leopard would have taken care of that.”
“I think you are right, my love.”
“Tell me again.”
Anleeh knew what she was asking for and rolled her onto her back. “I love you.” He kissed her lips. “I love you,” now her breasts; “I love you.” He nipped at her belly button and then kissed he
r again, “I love you, and you saved me.”
“No, it is you who saved me, set me free.”
“It was always in you to be free; I merely showed you the sky. You flew on your own.”
“That is beautiful.”
“Not nearly as lovely as you.” Anleeh laid his head against her beasts, face turned to the fire. “I will never forget the way you looked, so brave as you lowered your arms, letting me hurt you.” He started to rise but Siara fisted her hand in his hair. He was no doubt planning to examine the bite on her shoulder. They’d washed the wound at the same time they’d washed the blood from her breasts. Anleeh had fretted and said they’d find a salve to help it heal, make sure it didn’t scar, but Siara wanted the scar, wanted to always remember that moment when he’d had nothing to hold on to but her.
They lay quietly by the fire, each with their own thoughts. Siara wondered if he, like she, was thinking about what his mother had told them, about the magic of what had happened.
Raven had long suspected that Anleeh’s beast could manifest. Try as she might she had never been able to draw his beast forth, and it had been clear since he was small that he did not have the power to call the beast himself.
The older he grew the less the beast within could stand the confinement of the human skin. It was only the denial of the beast, controlled through strict discipline and training, and the absence of the beasts of the other people of Den, that had allowed him to live in the Great City, the beast dormant within.
As he’d suspected and feared, his return to Den had awoken the beast, and when Anleeh had finally used the beast in true battle, there had been no way to cage it once more, making him a slave to the God’s battle madness.
Raven had hoped that a woman, a mate, would quiet the beast, but Siara herself was so strong that she had called the beast to physical form, rather than coax it to return to hibernation.
“I can hear you thinking,” Anleeh whispered, voice thick with weariness. “There will be time, the rest of our lives, to dissect all that has happened, to write volumes about Anleeh, the beast man of Den.”
Siara chuckled softly and yawned, his drowsiness infecting her. Hands curled in his hair, she slept.
A tickling at his nose woke Anleeh.
When he opened his eyes he saw Siara leaning over him, a lock of her silky brown hair held between her fingers, dangling at his nose where she’d used it to tease him awake.
“You’re awake,” she said brightly.
“Because you woke me up.”
“Never mind, now you’re awake.” Siara sat up and tugged him up beside her. Anleeh yawned and stretched, wincing as the stretch pulled at his new scars.
“Your mother stopped to check on us and brought you some food; she said you’d be hungry.”
“Food? You should have woken me sooner.” Anleeh grabbed the sack she indicated and dug though until he found some roasted venison, wrapped in leaves. Pulling the meat out, he began wolfing it down, filling the hole in his belly.
Siara’d seen him turn into a leopard; most likely she would not stop loving if she saw him eat like a pig.
She loved him.
From the first night she’d told him, Anleeh had been filled with a peace he’d never known, and had never let himself identify. Yesterday he’d faced his worst fear, losing himself to his beast, until he was so beyond reason that he would attack anything, anyone.
His chewing slowed, the food turning ashy in his mouth as he remembered the way he’d fallen on her, hands causing bruises that were now blooming along her arms, hips, and thighs. He remembered the taste of blood, his and hers, against his tongue, and the way her flesh felt beneath his teeth, the pliancy of her skin and muscles begging him to bite harder.
Her own beast, speaking to his, rolling through him, calming him, had been all that protected her, and even after what he’d done to her she’d helped him, cradled him as the madness of his people’s God roared through him, splintering his mind. She’d come to him, like the cold wind of winter through the hell of his mind. She’d freed him, taken his shapeless beast and called it to form, called it to life, freed the beast, calming him.
For the first time in his life, his beast was not a constant worry.
“Anleeh?” Siara’s worried voiced pulled him from the memory of blood and death. “Anleeh, are you alright?”
“Yes, I was just … remembering the battle.”
“Do you want to speak of it?”
“Not today.”
“Alright.” Worry creased a line down her brow and Anleeh smiled, trying to calm her.
“I am truly fine, lover. Let me finish eating and then I will pleasure you properly, reassure you of my good health.”
“I want to try something first.”
“Oh?” Anleeh mock-leered at her, but Siara merely stared at him, reminding him of the poorly dressed, serious, young woman she’d been in the Great City. He sighed even as he smiled, loving her all the more, and continued to tear off strips of meat and eat them.
“I was telling your mother about what I could see in the mist…”
“What mist?”
“—and how there appeared to be several different animals rolling around inside you.”
“What?”
“And it is my belief that you became a leopard because my beast is a leopard and so that is what it was easiest for me to call.”
“I—you…”
“Please do stop interrupting me, Anleeh. You mother said there was something I could try, a test for my theory.” She smiled in pleasure at the logic and order of having a hypothesis. She lifted a knotted bundle of cords, the end of each one dangling with a small figure. Siara sorted through the pendants until she found the one she wanted.
“Siara, what test…”
Holding the pendant in her left hand, she touched his leg with her right.
Light exploded around Anleeh as his flesh melted away, bones cracking and reforming, what was human being pulled deep into the new skin he now wore.
Anleeh blinked at the piece of meat he had just been eating. It now lay abandoned on the dirt floor. On either side of it rested two paws. Anleeh swished his tail, feeling the longer strands of fur brush against his back legs.
He threw back his head and howled.
“Apparently you can become more than one animal.” Siara was slightly wide-eyed with alarm she was trying hard to cover. Anleeh trotted over to her and licked her forearm. She tasted like salt and sex, like his mate. He pushed his long snout against her neck and sniffed; she definitely smelled like mate.
Siara placed her hand in his fur, and a moment later he was human once more. He pushed her over, spreading her legs and settling between then.
“Do you have any idea how good you smell to me?”
“Really? What do I smell like?”
“Like my mate. You smell of sex and safety, of future and life.”
“Is that what I smelled like when you were a leopard?”
“No, then you smelled different, beautiful, sexy, but different.”
“Really?” Anleeh leaned in to kiss her but Siara shoved him off. “That is really interesting. I wonder if it is linked to the animal you are or if your feelings have settled since yesterday.”
“Woman, I just confessed my love for you and all you can think about is examining this to death?”
“How can you think of sex when we are in the middle of making history? You are the stuff of legend. How can you not be excited and want to know more? You just turned into a wolf, and you were a leopard yesterday.”
Her bright eyed enthusiasm bordered on frightening, but he loved her for it.
“Frankly, my love, I am more excited to know that I will no longer have to fight with my beast, that for the first time I am free of the worry that one day I will fall to the rage and kill someone I love.”
Siara leaned in to kiss him, her eyes loving and soft, but just before her lips brushed his, she slapped his chest.
“
Look at your chest.”
Anleeh looked down to see that his scars were completely healed. No longer pink he now had four jagged, parallel white lines running from his left shoulder to the right side of his waist.
“I thought that it was all the magic we generated that caused them to heal, but what if the act of transforming heals you?”
That was an interesting thought. Anleeh sat up and grabbed the food bag, search around in the bottom.
“What are you looking for?”
“A knife.”
“Why?”
Anleeh pulled out a small blade. “I am simply creating an experiment for your hypothesis.” Anleeh slid the blade down his shin, choosing a spot that, though it hurt, would heal quickly if they were wrong.
“Anleeh!”
“Quickly, lover.”
Siara, flustered, fumbled with the charms, “I uh, don’t really know what this one is. I wanted to try it later, but maybe…” she scooted over to him, wrapping her arm around his waist.
The light consumed him once more, the same discomforting feeling of his flesh peeling away and then being drawn inside, covering the popping of his bones. He was blind as he changed, his body not his own.
This change took longer, and this time it was filled with sounds, crashing and scrapping. He felt something hit his back as the light retreated. When his vision returned, Anleeh was confused. He was no longer inside the cabin, for the bright morning sun hurt his new eyes. The colors here were bright, not the muted grays of the wolf or the precise vision of the leopard. He lifted his head, which appeared to be resting on the ground. His head kept rising, up and up, his neck long and fluid.
“Anleeh,” Siara’s voice was muffled. “Don’t move.”
Worried but trusting her order, he slowly turned his head, keeping the rest of his body still, his new neck flexible enough that he was able to look at his own back.
Siara, seated astride him, pushed a piece of the cabin roof off herself and sat up.
“You broke the cabin.”
Anleeh looked around; she was correct, he’d turned into something so big that he’d broken through the cabin walls. One corner and the stone chimney were all that was left.