"You are a bully," Kylie said with a mock weariness in her voice, "an awful bully."
Deidra laughed. "I am looking out for your best interest; you will thank me one day."
Chapter Two
Kylie self-consciously walked into the Psych Center. When she stepped in she had the feeling that everybody was looking at her curiously, but when she felt the confidence to look around, she saw that no-one was even looking in her direction.
She sighed.
She was suffering from paranoia and low self-confidence for far too long. She definitely had reason to be here. She approached the front desk reluctantly. "I am here for the program with Dr. Miles Hebron."
The lady smiled at her. "In Conference Room 2. Through the door and to the right."
Kylie nodded and backed away from the desk slowly, and collided with a man’s firm chest.
"I am very sorry." She mumbled not looking up.
"That's okay, Kylie," said Gareth's voice, with its warm honeyed Australian drawl. "It's always good to stumble into a fellow computer friend." He put emphasis on the word friend, and that did not escape Kylie.
"Oh Gareth," her hand flew to her throat self-consciously, "what are you doing here?"
Gareth grinned. He was dressed in blue jeans and a gray t-shirt that reflected his eye color. He spoke close to her ear. "Could you believe it? I am here to fix something."
Kylie shivered when his breath touched her cheek. She wanted to reply that she was there to fix something as well, but, as usual, only a squeak got pass her throat.
Drat it. She needed to fix this inability of hers to communicate.
Gareth straightened up from her and dressed back a bit. "I am here to fix something for Dr. Jackson. I designed a program for him, and he is having a glitch or two."
He frowned down at her. "What are you here for?"
Kylie struggled in her mind to come up with something that wouldn't sound as desperate as confidence classes, but she locked eyes with him and couldn't formulate a word.
"Man," Gareth whistled, "you have gorgeous eyes. Nice almond shape. Your irises look like my favorite Belgian dark chocolate, and your expressions are priceless. I could drown in them all day. Isn't that a wonderful thought drowning in Belgian chocolate?"
"Thank...thank you." Kylie cleared her throat and replied formally, her heart beating like a run away train.
Gareth ran his hand over his chin. "You are going to give me a complex, Kylie."
He smiled at her again and touched her cheek as he walked away.
Opportunities missed because of paralysis, Kylie though as she watched him walk away. He had a slight bow in his legs, and he looked so manly and hot from behind— broad muscular shoulders, a testimony to his regular trips to the gym, tapered narrow waist, and a firm tight butt.
I am a moron. She thought dejectedly. A handsome guy, who she had an absolute crush on, told her that her eyes looked like dark Belgian chocolate, and the best she could do was to thank him formally.
She needed those classes like right now. She hurried toward the direction that the receptionist had pointed to and walked into the room.
It was packed. She spotted an empty seat close to the front of the room, beside a guy who didn't look like he had confidence issues, and sat down.
He was dressed in khaki pants and had on a blue oxford shirt. He was tapping his feet impatiently. He turned to her and smiled. "Hi, I am Bradley Nelson. My friends call me Brad."
Kylie frowned. "My name is Kylie. You don't sound like you need these classes. You look like you are oozing with confidence."
Brad laughed. "I work for the school paper and I'm reporting on this first session."
Kylie nodded. "That figures. I can see that you are the odd man out."
Brad grinned. "Come to think of it, I think I do need classes, but for the extremely extroverted, you know, to tone down my exuberance a bit."
Kylie giggled. "I wish I had a little bit of the bravado that an extrovert has. I wish I could make friends easily and talk to people while looking them in the eyes."
"Then it would be a boring world if everybody wanted to be the life of the party. It could get tiresome," Brad said, winking at her, "and may I say that you are not doing so badly at meeting new friends. See, I am hooked."
"You know, you are right." Kylie crossed her legs. "It wasn't so hard to talk to you. Maybe it's the room. I think I am cured I should go home now."
Brad laughed out loud, "And you are funny too. I think you should stay and keep me company. I am obligated to be here for the whole session and give my best report."
Kylie looked at him warmly. He was a good-looking guy with closely shaved hair; wide expressive eyes that invited you to smile with him, high intelligent forehead, and thick perfectly shaped eyebrows.
"Do you shave your eyebrows?" The question came unexpectedly. Normally, she wouldn't ask a total stranger such a personal question.
Bradley wriggled his eyebrow. "Are you kidding me, Kylie?" He laughed when he saw her stricken expression. "I would never in a million years do something so unmanly."
She sighed. "Sorry I asked, I think I am short-circuiting."
Bradley smiled at her. "Or, maybe I am having an effect on you. There is this rumor, I don't know who started it… that opposites attract."
Kylie giggled. "Okay then. I thought it was a scientific truism."
Bradley nodded. "Basic magnetism."
Kylie looked at Bradley, surprised. Was he flirting with her?
He wriggled his brow in jest as if he knew what she was thinking and was answering in the affirmative.
Kylie swung around and swallowed. Miles Hebron entered the room at the same time. He was a tall stately man with a neatly shaped goatee and salt and pepper hair. He commanded the attention of everyone in the room, and the buzzing from the talking died down without him having to say a word.
"My name is Miles Hebron. I am pleased to see such a good turnout for the first session of the seminar. I know there is a myth that confidence cannot be taught; many believe we should all miraculously acquire this personality trait just by being human. That's very wrong and I know many of us here can testify to that."
The audience nodded.
"The truth is, many of our societal problems can be traced back to people who have low self-esteem, low self-worth. They feel so bad about themselves that they want others to feel bad too. This seminar was designed with a practical approach in mind. We, that is Dr. Taj Jackson and I, will be putting you through the paces for the next six weeks. Today we are going to be looking at the topic ‘Developing Self-Esteem’…"
*****
"It was a good session," Kylie said, walking out with Brad. "I liked the activity we did… the Jung Typology Test. No surprise there, I am 80% introvert."
"And there is a difference between being shy and being an introvert," Bradley added.
"And I am both." Kylie rubbed the back of her neck. "I am shyly introverted."
Brad laughed. "It was interesting to watch the expression on your faces when you had to face strangers. I was thinking about it, and I thought, hey, Kylie was not like that with me. Maybe we should explore that opposites attract theory some more. Want to go out later, catch a movie or something?"
They had walked to the front of the Psych Center. Kylie looked at him, her mouth opened, "Like, a date?"
"Nah," Brad said, "a date would scare you to the hills. I mean like friends."
"Oh," Kylie grinned at him, "sure. I have never really had a guy friend before."
"Are you kidding?" Brad asked. "Where have you been all this time? On Mars?"
"Venus," Kylie laughed, "women are from Venus."
Brad grinned. "I love your sense of humor. See ya later. Meet me in the lounge at the Business Center, at 8."
"Okay," Kylie said, waving to him, and heading to her car in the parking lot.
"Kylie!" Gareth was standing on the steps of the Psych center building. He was staring quizzically at
Bradley's retreating back.
She hadn't seen him standing there. Her heart started to do its familiar lurch and hurried beating when he came close. Okay, she had one session of confidence class under her belt; maybe she should test it out on Gareth. After all, he was the reason she was even coming to these sessions anyway.
She struggled to look him in the eye when he came up to her. It took loads of effort because she could not stop that zing of pure elation her body felt when he was near. He made her feel uncomfortable; he made her aware that she was a sexual being. But, she determinedly convinced her eyes to hold his. In the process, she made an inconvenient observation that there was a dark ring around his dark gray irises.
Gareth stood before her, his arms akimbo. "What's up, mate? Want to go to the lab and put in some work?"
Kylie cleared her throat, "er... sure. I wanted to ask you something." She blurted out before her lips could pull back in the words. "Would you like to go to my brother's wedding with me? He is doing a simple thing right here on campus on a Wednesday."
Gareth's eyebrows almost shot up into his hairline. "You want me to be your plus one?"
"Yes," Kylie whispered, her burst of confidence dwindling as fast as it had come, "something like that."
Gareth paused, dragged his hand through his hair, and then released it slowly. "I don't like weddings."
"Oh. Sorry I asked." Kylie felt her face heating up.
"But I'll make an exception for you and attend this one," Gareth said to her seriously. "I must say I am totally surprised though. Pleasantly."
Kylie stepped backwards to her car and leaned on it. "I have an issue with my self-confidence," she confessed softly, "a serious problem. I am both shy and introverted."
Gareth grinned, "So I noticed."
"That's why I am here today to do a seminar... What do you mean so you noticed?"
Gareth shook his head. "When it comes to computers, you are extremely articulate, but when it comes to your personal life, it is like prying clams from a shell."
"You have never asked me any personal questions," Kylie said.
Gareth leaned his head to the side, "Let me see. Two months ago, I asked you if you liked the color red. You looked like I asked you to take off your clothes."
Kylie flushed. "Okay, okay, I am retarded socially; I realised afterwards that you asked because you were wearing a red shirt."
"The things a guy has to do to get you to speak; you were eating me up with your expressive eyes. I just wanted you to say what was on your mind." Gareth grinned at her. "I guess it is up to me to make the moves then."
Kylie gasped. "You want to make moves on me?"
Gareth leaned into her; his breath smelled like mint. "Yes. Definitely. For a very long time now."
Kylie felt a warm rush around her neck. "I don't know what to say."
Gareth shrugged. "That's okay. I also want to ask you something."
Kylie nodded, her mind racing like the second hand on a clock. What on earth would Gareth ask her?
"Do you want to go to a party with me?"
"Uh...sure." Kylie widened her eyes. "This is a bit overwhelming, I was just..."
Gareth touched her cheek. "It's in Portland… for the weekend. Some friends of mine have a villa at the Blue Lagoon. They return to Jamaica every year to spend some time there and they usually have a fun weekend."
Fun weekend? Portland? Kylie's mind was racing and could barely process the information.
"I have never been to Portland," she finally spoke. "I haven't been anywhere past Kingston."
"It's as good a time as any to go." Gareth grinned at her.
This is too much. Kylie wailed in her mind. It was too much for her poor timid mind to bear.
Gareth moved even closer to her causing her breath to hitch. "I am looking forward to showing you around your country." She could feel the hairs on his arm close to hers and he was looking at her, his dark eyes sultry, "and introducing you to your own body."
Kylie could barely speak.
"Of course, we'll take it one day at a time," Gareth said to her easily. "You have until tomorrow to tell me yes or no. Meet me in the lab soon, I have an algorithm for the game that I have been working on, you will love it."
When he strolled off toward his car, Kylie could barely get her trembling legs into hers.
Chapter Three
Kylie called Deidra before she approached the lab. Her hands were still trembling from the aftershock of Gareth Beecher, her fantasy man, telling her that he fancied her and wanted her to spend the weekend with him at his friends’ place in Portland.
"Deidra, I don't know what to do," she said, panicking on the phone before Deidra could say hello.
Deidra chuckled. "What happened; the confidence class was a bit much?"
"No, scrap that," Kylie said breathlessly getting out of her car and staring at the Computer Science Building as if she had not seen it before. The colorful red bricks of the facade seemed to be running into each other. She wondered if her contacts were malfunctioning.
"Gareth asked me out," Kylie said in a rush, "well, after I asked him out."
"Cool." Deidra was grinning. "Where are you guys going?"
"Portland, this weekend," Kylie said, fresh panic lacing her voice.
"Er...say that again." Deidra's voice suddenly got sober.
"You heard me. Portland, for the weekend."
Deidra laughed. "So for a whole year you make moon eyes after a guy. Then you ask him to a wedding and next thing you know he is asking to take you on a weekend away. This script is moving too fast for me."
Kylie huffed. "Deidra, I don't think he is asking me to go and sleep with him in Portland, but he did say he would show me around the island and my… er body, or something like that."
Deidra gasped. "Wow, that's hot. First of all, I am upset that you are not the one showing this guy around the island. He's Australian and he knows your island better than you. You should be ashamed of yourself. Secondly, you need a makeover."
"A makeover!" Kylie whispered. "Why?"
"And you need to shop for new clothes," Deidra said, salivating.
"No," Kylie said shaking her head, even though Deidra couldn't see her. "I am not going to be made over."
"Yes, you are," Deidra was chortling with glee. "You can't go to Portland and not shave your legs, and you need summer clothes. This place is so cold all year round that I would be surprised if you have any summer clothes. You know those floaty kind of romantic dresses? Meet me at the house at three. We can go shopping."
"I promised I'd meet this guy, Bradley, in the Business Center," Kylie said, calming down somewhat.
"I feel like patting myself on the back," Deidra said. "In one day, because of my suggestion for you to go to confidence class, you have men wanting to show you around... who is Bradley?"
"He's a guy I met in the confidence class. He's a reporter for the school paper."
"Ah, that Bradley." Deidra laughed. "He produces some stuff for us sometimes. He's a nice guy, and handsome. Oooh, I am sooo happy for youuu..."
"Stop it!" Kylie said, closing her eyes and leaning on the car. "Bradley and I hit it off in the class, and I promised to meet up with him at the Business Center later. I think he was thinking that I needed some help or something. I confessed to him that I have no friends."
"No Friends! What am I, a piece of paper?" Deidra snorted.
"No, not friends, guy friends. Sorry. Besides you feel like family most of the time."
Deidra was appeased. "Okay, meet me after the meet up with Bradley and we go shopping, or if it's too late I'll just work on your hair."
Kylie touched her hair self-consciously. "I am not too sure about this Deidra. I should say ‘no’ to Gareth. This is so sudden."
Deidra hissed her teeth. "After a year of uninterrupted longing, this is not sudden. Man up, girl. See you later."
*****
Kylie walked into the lab feeling more self-conscious than she normally
felt in Gareth's vicinity. He was seated around one of the computers. Janet was seated beside him. Her hair looked as if she had run her finger through it several times. Her pageboy cut was looking untidy.
"Welcome to madness," she said to Kylie, looking up. "I think I messed up the code. The program, which Gareth had fixed, is not working after I did something to it."
Kylie forgot to be nervous and looked through the error messages on the screen, leaning near Gareth. "It's not messed up."
Gareth glanced at her smiling. "You see the problem, huh?"
"Yes," Kylie said shyly. "A variable was not initialized."
Gareth looked at her appreciatively. "Bravo," he said softly, "I missed that myself."
Kylie flushed and moved away from the screen.
"How come I never saw that?" Janet asked. She looked over at Kylie. "When you are done with this project and you get your master’s, what are you going to do? Teach?"
"No." Kylie looked horrified. "Hopefully, I can freelance and write programs for companies that need it, or write apps for mobile phones like Gareth is doing."
Gareth nodded. "You'd be good at it."
Janet shrugged. "I am in computer science only because I thought it was going to be easy."
Gareth shook his head. "Always do something for the love of it or else you'll get frustrated really fast."
He was looking at Kylie again, a telling gleam in his gray eyes.
Kylie cleared her throat and willed herself to maintain eye contact with him. "You teach here? Do you love doing it?"
Gareth's eyes clouded over. "I came to Mount Faith to escape." He started swerving his chair around.
"Escape from what?" Janet asked hunkering back over her screen.
Gareth looked like he regretted mentioning it and coughed uncomfortably. "I was living in America and I used to come to Jamaica for holidays… thought it was a good place to escape to."
Kylie wanted to point out that he wasn't answering the question, but she let it pass and listened as he swiftly covered up his slip. It got her thinking though. What did she really know about Gareth, apart from the fact that he was tall, heavily tanned, had brown hair, and had dark gray eyes and a sultry smile?
Goodbye Lonely (The Bancrofts: Book 4) Page 2