“Full moon,” he said, gazing at the evening sky.
In gray boxer briefs, I saw the contour of the muscles on his back. Trim waist, smooth skin, firm and round ass, he could easily model an underwear ad for Calvin Klein.
I had never been with a guy like him before. I liked lean and fit, skinny even. But there was something so beautiful about how he looked standing near that window beneath the backdrop of the moon. Like he was in the frame of a photo, perfectly centered, and I’d probably always retain that image in my head.
His fingers dropped the curtain but not enough to shift it back into place. Just a sliver remained open enough that I could see him as he turned around. Nate’s chest was perfectly smooth outside of a dusting of hair around his nipples.
His stomach was something out of one of those advertisements for a gym. I never paid attention to six-pack abs but there they were, displayed in all of their glory. Near his belly button was a line of light hair that ran a perfect route below his shorts.
And beneath his underwear was the outline of his full-blown erection. A gasp arose from my lips as his gaze crashed into mine. Just like I had done moments before by the bathroom door, Nate didn’t cover himself or try to move away.
His feet were nearly rooted to the floor, as if at a standstill. It seemed neither one of us knew what to do, but we sure as hell both wanted each other.
My gaze travelled up the smooth planes of his body on their own accord, only to focus back in on what was right in front of me. I knew he only joked about having a monster in his pants but good lord; there it was, on glorious exhibit.
“You’re beautiful, Nate,” I said, without any hesitation or shame.
“I was just thinking the same thing about you,” he whispered.
My breath stalled on my lips and I readjusted myself on the bed. Scooting my body against my pillows, my eyes stayed glued to his the entire time, making it plain exactly what I was thinking.
“What are you—” he said and then I effectively cut him off when my hands clasped over my breasts.
He stalked toward me, reaching me in half a second flat.
A groan tore from his throat as he grabbed my face and crashed his lips against mine. Hard and bruising, my head practically molded into the pillow. This kiss was so different from the one in the bar. This kiss was like a brand.
My fingers flew up and clenched onto his hair. I tightened my grip, which only made him press harder. When I moaned against his mouth, he forced my lips apart with his tongue and then plunged it fully inside my mouth. He tasted like beer and cinnamon gum mixed together.
His tongue smooth like velvet, it explored every corner of my mouth as if on a mission. His fingers grasped onto my neck and then tunneled deep into my hair, effectively holding me hostage.
And then suddenly, the weight was lifted and I could no longer feel him. When I opened my eyes he was he standing at the side of the bed, breathing heavily.
“I’m sorry,” he said in a tortured voice. “I shouldn’t have done that. It’s just—goddamn, you’re so fucking sexy. Your hair, your lips, your body.”
My entire body was thrumming with desire. If he walked away now, I wouldn’t be able to sleep all night long. Let along all week.
“It’s okay, Nate.” I grabbed for his hand, which was shaking. “I obviously want you, too.”
“I don’t want to mess this up,” he mumbled. “I don’t want you to hate me, after.”
“I’m a big girl,” I said. “I can handle myself.”
“But you . . . you’re the only girl who . . .” he stormed away from the bed, his hands tearing through his hair. “Fuck.”
“Who what?” I said, throwing my hands up in frustration. “Who looks like this? Who isn’t your type? Well you aren’t my type either, so what.”
He shook his head violently. “That’s not what I—”
“Who cares about that other stuff? Don’t think so hard,” I practically growled. “Goddammit Nate, I can’t deny how amazingly turned on I am right now.”
“You don’t know me,” he said, in anguish. “How I . . . what I . . .”
“How what?” I said, exasperated by how hard he was thinking about this. I was pretty damn sure he didn’t expend this kind of energy with all of those other girls. “What, Nate? What you want to do to me?”
His eyes flashed with undulating lust.
“Then show me, Nate,” I said, softening my voice. “Show me.”
The plain desire on his face contradicted the shaking of his head.
“I appreciate your nobility and all,” I said. “But I want to feel your body and your lips on me again.”
When he didn’t say anything, I took a deep breath, feeling defeated and more than frustrated. “If you don’t want me . . . that’s okay, too.”
I scooted down the bed and laid my body flat. I wasn’t going to argue with him about this anymore, it was too much work. There was something raw inside of him that he was terrified of unleashing. Still, I didn’t understand why he was fighting it so hard. It was only sex, after all.
He tilted his head back and then let out a strangled growl. Before I could decipher exactly what was happening, he was on top of me again.
His entire body was aligned with mine from chest to knees. He pressed me hard into the mattress as his lips melded with mine. I swung my legs up to wrap around his waist and our centers collided. I could feel the length and girth of him now and holy fuck, he was large.
His fingers gripped my hair firmly, shocking the shit out of me, and it was then that I realized that Nate must like it rough. I’d been with my share of tough guys but now I knew that I would have enjoyed them more if they also had Nate’s softer side to strike a balance.
My hands scaled over his solid biceps to his back. He was hard and smooth everywhere I touched. His tongue was tangling with mine and his hips were grinding relentlessly. If he continued his onslaught against my center, I probably wouldn’t last much longer.
“Goddamn it, Jessie.” He bit and licked my jaw and then sucked on my neck. His lips were hot and hard and like a suction cup against my skin.
With my skin practically burning from his touch, he suddenly slowed way down and lifted himself up on his forearms. I figured he’d freak again and bail, but then he sat back on his knees and looked down at me with tenderness in his eyes.
His tentative fingers reached out and began moving delicately, outlining the edges of the tattoos on my chest and then travelling down to my stomach. It was such a gentle gesture that I shivered. No guy had ever taken the time to do that. Maybe because they were used to seeing girls with tattoos.
He tugged me to a sitting position as he continued to stroke my skin with his silky touch. He kissed my shoulders and then his lips trailed up to my ear. “I like the way you smell.”
I never wore any perfume so I didn’t really know what he meant; still it was nice to hear.
He gathered my face in his hands and stared into my eyes as if admiring me. Then he slanted his head and brushed his lips across mine. I could barely take it anymore. This wasn’t what I wanted—not this gentleness, and not from Nate—it was bound to ruin me for other guys.
I just wanted hot and hard sex, over and done with.
As he softly kissed my throat, I wondered if he thought this was what was expected of him. That maybe all the other Barbie dolls he’d been with needed to be treated with kid gloves.
He nibbled and then sucked on my bottom lip. “Damn . . . I’ve always wondered what your lips tasted like.”
And then he captured my mouth in a heated kiss, softer this time, his mouth and tongue setting the slower pace. He knew how to kiss, I’d give him that. Some guys just shoved their tongues down your throat. His kissing was almost like an art form. Just a little bit of tongue, enough to tease. Enough to make you want more. Want it all.
He pulled away and his gaze skated down my body. “You’re gorgeous, Jess.”
Chapter Fourteen
; Nate
If Jessie wanted to be with me then I’d treat her like she deserved. But Jesus fuck I was beyond turned on by this girl. Never have I seen a girl’s body with tattoos up close.
I continued kissing her full and soft mouth nice and slow, dragging my tongue along the seam of her lips and then dipping its tip inside to meet hers. She was trembling and making this impatient noise in the back of her throat.
I didn’t understand it. She seemed to want more—like she wasn’t about to settle for what I was giving her, which was totally tripping with my head. But wasn’t this how all girls wanted it? Made to feel delicate and tantalizing while you were with them.
I’d always kept my other wild desires tucked safely away. Even when Jessie and I joked about the monster in my pants, I was really using it as a metaphor for that other hidden part of me, and now I wondered if she somehow knew. That deep inside I was really referring to something else.
Now Jessie grabbed at my hair and her tongue slashed past my lips. We were kissing in that frantic way again like we’d just been doing a few minutes earlier, as if we wanted to consume each other. And this was where I entered that gray area, where I was so goddamn cranked up by her, I thought I was going to fucking explode into a billion pieces.
I needed to take back control, but damn, the way she was kissing me was pure heaven. Just the way I always imagined I wanted it. With someone bold and free and hot as fuck.
I pulled away, attempting to gain authority over my breathing. Her lips were swollen and her eyes were wild. And her body was killer. Her breasts were practically hanging out of that black lace and all the artwork on her torso made me want to trace my tongue over every square inch. Never have I been with a girl who looked like her—like a painted canvas—and right now I felt like I was in over my head.
I reached out and traced the pad of my thumb over her lips and then down her throat. When I got to the middle of her chest, she whimpered and squirmed as if urging me on.
Her fingers reached behind her back to the clasp of her bra, as if she were unable to wait for me. Like she knew I was stalling. “Jessie, let me do it.”
She ignored me and unhooked it herself. “I don’t want to wait, Nate. You’re battling something. I can see it in your eyes.”
Her hands now cupped the lace over her breasts and my dick was rock solid. “If you want to stop, let’s stop. But if not . . . just let loose, Nate.”
“Fuck, Jessie. I want you, so bad. I’m just afraid if we . . .”
“Stop being afraid, goddamn it,” she blurted. “I’m asking you, begging you, to touch me. Touch me like I know you want to. Own me tonight.”
She tugged her bra down her arms in one fluid motion to let her breasts free. And that action tied with her unbelievable words seemed to speak to the darkness inside me. It was essentially my undoing.
Fuck me, this girl had the most gorgeous set of tits I’d ever laid eyes on. Large and swollen, with dark pink nipples—there was no way I could refrain from touching them. A replica of her camera was inked above her breast, which hands down, made her way hotter than any girl I’d ever gotten naked with.
The need in her eyes turned into unadulterated hunger and fueled that inner part of me that I was trying desperately to ignore. It was like she was the light to my darkness. The key to my enclosure.
Reaching out, I circled her nipple with my thumb and she closed her eyes on a moan.
“Please, Nate,” she ground out.
She was fucking begging me now, and that only emboldened me.
I leaned forward and began kissing her skin everywhere except the one place she wanted most. Her head fell back and a whimper rose from her throat.
“You want it bad, don’t you?” Something inside me kicked into higher gear. I allowed myself to let loose. Just a bit. “You need me to taste your nipples and I’m not doing it.”
“Yes.” Her body began trembling.
I nudged her back down on the bed and hovered over her. “You want my mouth on you?”
Her eyes blazed into mine. I didn’t see any fear in them, only desire and eagerness.
“You’re going to have to beg.” I grabbed hold of her arms and yanked them above her head, effectively keeping her hostage while my mouth assaulted hers. “Let me hear it.”
“Fuck, Nate,” she said all breathy. “Please . . . I need your mouth all over me.”
“That’s it.” I was beyond turned on. This was what I’d always wanted. Someone who’d let me play, allow me to stretch my wings and experiment in the bedroom. The tip of my tongue circled around one of her nipples and she almost sprang off the bed.
She attempted to rip her arms from my grasp, to touch me, but I wouldn’t allow it. “You keep your hands still, little firecracker, or I won’t lick you again. You hear me?”
Her eyes widened. “Yes.”
She immediately ceased struggling. I rewarded her by licking her other nipple and she exhaled in relief. But that wasn’t enough. For either of us.
“I’m going to free your hands but they need to stay up here like this,” I said, giving her fingers a squeeze. “Do you understand?”
“Yes.” Her eyes practically rolled back in pleasure. This girl was unbelievable. She was my every fantasy come true. Fuck, what had I gotten myself into?
I released my grasp and began devouring her breasts. God, I could lick and suck her tits all night long if she let me. They were perfect.
As she cried out, I felt her arms stretch down to reach for my hair. But then she seemed to remember my rule and yanked them back up.
That action turned me on so completely, I almost came in my goddamn pants.
My mouth skimmed down to her stomach and it quivered in my wake.
“Please, Nate. I need to see you,” she said, her voice husky. “I want to taste you, too.”
Shit, it was that pleading voice that would be my downfall. “In time, sweetheart.”
My fingers slid to her black panties and traced along the edges. “What kind of treasure do you have buried here?”
I could feel her knees shaking beneath me. A tattoo peeked from the top of the elastic and I nudged it down to have a look. It was some sort of ornate picture frame, the kind you might see hanging in museums.
She had a photo theme inked over the landscape of her body and it was so lush and gorgeous and exotic. This tattoo seemed to match the roll of film on her arms and the camera replica on her upper torso. Almost like a dedication to her late father.
And here I was bossing, dominating, asking her to beg. I yanked my head up, buckling from the pressure inside my skull.
Damn, I was a sick motherfucker. I needed to stop this madness.
Jessie went rigid, immediately sensing the change in my demeanor. “Nate,” she said, sitting up.
I got a full view of her bouncing tits and it did nothing to help my still-raging hard-on. But I was fighting with myself and she recognized it.
She reached for me and I allowed her to. Gazing deeply into my eyes, she gently burrowed her fingers in my hair and brushed her soft mouth against mine. Her lips parted and our tongues met in the most intimate kiss I’d ever encountered.
It was as if she were speaking to me through her lips. Soothing me, talking me through, mending me. The tips of our tongues slow danced in a drugging rhythm and I never wanted it to fucking end.
I had allowed her to see a different side of me that only one other girl had witnessed, but Jessie wasn’t afraid. In fact, she welcomed it. I had been the one to chicken out.
Her fingers stretched for my waistband and before I could protest, her warm hand was inside, grasping at me. She made that noise in the back of her throat again, like she was beyond turned on and wanted me as badly as I wanted her and it made me ache with need all over again.
“It’s okay, Nate,” she whispered against my lips.
I tried to control my breaths while reveling in her expert touch.
“I want you to let loose with me,” she said
and then gripped me more firmly, making me gasp. “I like it.”
A growl erupted from the back of my throat and in two seconds flat, I had her pinned to the bed, my body flattening her to the mattress.
Fucking hell, I needed to get inside her. She was already inside me, messing with my head.
Her fingers traveled at lightning speed to my boxer shorts as she ripped them down my body, her feet helping them along the rest of the way. Now the entire length of me was digging into her stomach.
She reached between us and clutched me, her thumb swiping over the wet bead on my sensitive head. “You’re amazing.”
I could allow myself to get swept away from her touch or I could take back the reins and let all of my fantasies come true. I dragged her hands away from my body and yanked them down to her thighs.
“Don’t you dare move,” I rumbled and her eyes flared with longing.
Chapter Fifteen
Jessie
As I clenched the bedsheet, I realized that I had never been more keyed up in my entire life. I was afraid that being with Nate this one time would unravel me, but I couldn’t seem to stop myself.
He was fighting himself so hard and slowly realization had struck, like a compilation of images in front of me. I almost had a clear view of what was going on inside of him. Maybe not everything, but enough to know that Nate liked to be in control, liked to be wild in bed.
And he fought it—oh, did he fight it. I wasn’t sure why, but it must have had something to do with his demons, maybe from his upbringing—how his eyes looked so haunted when we’d pulled up in front of his childhood home.
There was more to Nate than I had ever dreamed and I loved the juxtaposition of the two sides of him. How he could be more soft and tender than I’d ever experienced with a guy. And then he’d become all hot and bossy and demanding.
It thrilled me beyond belief. Because he wasn’t coarse like the guys I dated. He was rugged and smooth and beautiful. But then those dominant words came flying out of his mouth and made him beyond sexy. And he didn’t even realize it.
Maybe he’d never been allowed to explore this side of himself with other women. Maybe the girls he was with—the girls he chose to be with—were straight-laced. Or maybe he cherry-picked them that way on purpose.
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