by Cathie Linz
The moment she parted her lips, he took advantage of his victory to lay siege, his tongue darting out to taste her, to test her, to tempt her. The feathery caress against the roof of her mouth made her weak in the knees.
Is this pleasure worth the risk? Is he worth the pain he’s caused you in the past? Do you really want to repeat your mistakes? Think of the pain he could cause you in the future. Do you want to give him that kind of power?
Finally her self-protective security system kicked in, giving her the strength to pull away from him.
“No,” she answered her own unspoken questions. “No!”
“All right.” He held out one hand to shush her. “I heard you the first time. You’ll wake Blue.”
Jessica felt as if she were the one who’d woken from an enchanted slumber, as if she were emerging from some kind of spell. She blinked rapidly to clear her vision and clenched her hands at the anger flaring within.
“How dare you think you can just grab hold of me and kiss me.”
“I didn’t grab you,” he said. “I just kissed you.”
Just kissed her. His words seemed to dismiss what had just occurred as an everyday happening. Well, it might be in his world, but it certainly wasn’t in hers.
“Listen, I didn’t come over here to be your little playmate.” She shoved her notepad into her tote bag, so upset her hands were shaking. “I came here because I thought you were serious about wanting to become a better parent. Obviously I was mistaken.” Slinging her bag over her shoulder, she made a beeline for the front door.
“Wait a second…”
“Daddy!” Blue’s voice drifted out from her bedroom.
“Go take care of your daughter. If you’re half as honorable as you claim to be, that’s what you should be doing right now. And that’s all you should be doing,” Jessica told him before walking out.
“He did what?” Amy shrieked.
Jessica looked around the family-owned restaurant to make sure no one had overheard them. Dino’s was located only two blocks from her condo and had been a neighborhood fixture since the seventies. Jessica had been coming here since she was in high school. On those nights when her mom had worked late, Jessica had come here to eat dinner because no one was a stranger at Dino’s.
The decor was certainly not the main attraction. Everything was in varying shades of brown. Bottles of ketchup and mustard along with pink packets of sugar substitute supplied a little color on the fake wood Formica tabletops.
No, it wasn’t the decor that kept the customers coming in. It wasn’t even the lemon meringue pie, although that was superb. No, it was the ambience, the feeling that this place was a twenty-four-hour living room for the entire neighborhood. This was where you came just to talk. Or to celebrate, with a little comfort food, the small milestones that comprised your life. For Jessica, this was the place you came to order a cheeseburger and curly fries and dish the dirt with your best friend.
Lowering her voice, Amy leaned forward across the table in their booth. “You’re telling me the man actually had the nerve to kiss you? So the sob story about him needing your help to be a better father was just a pitch to get you in his bachelor pad and have his way with you?”
Jessica munched on a curly fry. “Well, there’s no denying the man needs help in the parenting department.”
Amy shook her head and added salt to her burger. “That poor little girl.”
“I’m not saying that he’s arrogant and overbearing, even though he is. And I’m not saying that he hasn’t come to care for his daughter and that he isn’t trying.”
“Yeah, he’s trying, really trying. As in impossible.”
Jessica shrugged. “I’m not even sure that he planned to kiss me. I mean, I don’t think he’d go to all that trouble, reading all the books I told him to read, just to steal a kiss. What I’m saying, though, is that he took advantage of the situation.”
“No kidding. I warned you about him.”
Jessica nodded. “I know you did.”
“And you told me not to worry, that there was no way you were going to let him get close enough to you to cause any trouble,” Amy reminded her.
“Yes, well, that was the plan.”
“He’s using his daughter to get to you.”
“That may be, but it doesn’t change the fact that Blue really does need me.”
Amy took another bite of her burger and swallowed it before speaking. “You said Curt read the books you gave him, right?”
“Yes.”
“And you spent several hours at his place working with him on various parenting skills, right?”
“Right.”
“Then I say the man’s on his own. You did what you could to help Blue. But you can’t put yourself at risk.”
“It’s ridiculous that I allowed myself to be so vulnerable,” Jessica said in a voice filled with self-disgust. “But then who knew that after all these years I’d still be…”
“Still be what?”
“A pushover,” Jessica replied morosely.
“Hey, don’t be so hard on yourself.” Amy patted Jessica’s arm. “He’s the one at fault here.”
“I just wasn’t expecting him to kiss me, and even if he did I wasn’t expecting to…well…to enjoy it so much.”
“Bad sign,” Amy noted.
“Tell me about it.”
“I think you need to spend some time with the new guy in your life. How are things going with Trevor?”
Trevor Locke was a financial advisor whom Jessica had been seeing for about a month. Recently divorced, Trevor wasn’t ready to get into another serious relationship, which suited Jessica just fine. She preferred going slowly these days. “Things are going okay.”
“Good. Glad to hear it. Maybe Trevor will protect you from Curt.”
The image of Trevor, a nice enough man but no Arnold Schwarzenegger, going up against Curt, the ultimate lean-mean-fighting-machine marine was enough to make her shake her head. “No, if I want protecting from Curt, I’ll have to do it myself.”
“What do you mean if. Are you considering getting involved with Curt again?”
“No. I told him I was seeing someone else.”
“Before or after he kissed you?”
Jessica had to think a minute. “Before, actually.”
“Ah.”
She paused in the middle of reaching for another fry. “Ah, what?”
Amy shrugged. “The guy was jealous that you’ve moved on with your life.”
“Moved on? I should hope so after twelve years. I haven’t seen Curt since that summer when we were eighteen.”
“Yeah, but in those twelve years you’ve never really gotten serious about anyone else.”
“That is not true,” Jessica protested. “There was Mike.”
“Yeah, right. Mike, poster boy for the Peter Pan syndrome. Come on, he was never a real candidate for settling down.”
“Okay, then what about Jeff?”
“What about him?” Amy countered.
“He was ready to settle down. I came close to accepting his proposal of marriage last year.”
“Coming close only counts in horseshoes and hand grenades. Which brings us right back to Curt, poster boy for hand grenades and land mines in the personal relationship department. You know what?” In her excitement, Amy waved a curly fry at her. “I think the reason you didn’t accept Jeff’s proposal is that you’ve never really gotten over Curt.”
Jessica almost choked on a bite of cheeseburger she’d just taken. “That’s ridiculous,” she declared, wiping mustard from her chin.
“Is it? Can you honestly tell me that you haven’t wished that his daughter was yours as well?”
Jessica had to look away. Amy knew her too well.
Amy’s expression was immediately filled with regret. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to bring up painful memories…”
“Most of my memories of Curt are painful ones.”
“Never a healthy sign in a rel
ationship.”
“We didn’t really have a relationship. I tutored him in Geometry. He tutored me in having sex in the back seat of his car.”
“If sex was all it was, you would have gotten over him by now.”
“Okay, I admit that Curt was my first love and yes, there’s something powerful about the first love in your life. But that kiss today was just a momentary lapse,” Jessica firmly stated. “From now on, I’m determined to be immune to Curt’s charm.”
Amy grinned at her. “I never thought of Curt and charming in the same sentence. Not unless he’s totally changed from the way he was in high school. Dangerous, tempting, provocative, powerful—those are descriptions I could easily buy. But charming? Nope, I don’t think so. Sounds too smooth for Curt Bad Boy Blackwell. Unless he’s gotten polished in his old age?”
“Hardly. He’s as powerful as ever.”
“Ah.” Amy nodded her head knowingly.
“Not ah again. You never say ahhh like that unless you mean something, and it’s usually something I’m not going to like.”
“I think you’re going to need a stronger vaccine against Curt than a pep talk with me over cheeseburgers and curly fries. I think you’re going to need another man. The sooner, the better. Here…” Amy hauled her cell phone out of her purse. “Time to call in reinforcements. Call Trevor.”
Curt tried to call Jessie several times Sunday evening but she didn’t answer, and he didn’t feel like leaving a message on her machine. What could he say? That he was sorry he kissed her? He wasn’t.
He was sorry she’d lit out of here so fast. And he was sorry that Blue was upset at not having said goodbye. His assurances that she’d see Jessie at preschool the next day seemed to fall on deaf ears. His daughter required extra work getting her to sleep. He read her a Winnie the Pooh book and Goodnight Moon three times. In the end he’d been forced to read from his U.S. Marine Corps procedure manual, using the kind of monotone voice that had always made him doze off when his high school teachers had used it.
The thought of high school brought his thoughts right back to Jessie again. He wasn’t sure why he’d kissed her. It had been an impulse. He certainly hadn’t invited her over with that thought in mind. Or at least, he hadn’t invited her with just that thought in mind. He had honestly wanted help with his daughter. And the trouble he had getting Blue to bed only proved to him that he still had a lot of ground to cover.
The same could be said of Jessie. Her response to his kiss had been more than he could have imagined, and he had a pretty good imagination. But then she’d gone all cold and backed away from him. Sometimes women weren’t any easier to figure out than three-year-olds.
Catching sight of a copy of The Complete Idiot’s Guide to Parenting a Preschooler and Toddler, Too still open on his couch, he couldn’t help wondering if they had a version for dealing with women.
Not that he’d had many problems in the past. But then the type of woman he’d chosen hadn’t made many demands. They’d only been interested in the same kind of no-strings short-term relationship that was his specialty. Jessie was different.
He’d known that even back in high school. Jessie the Brain had been as much an outcast as he’d been. Sure the reasons were different. She was the awkward class brain, and he was a foster kid with an attitude.
The whispered snubs had come early in his school years. Then came the shouted insults. Lots of derogatory words were used but they all basically meant the same thing—that he was illegitimate, poor, white trash who would never amount to anything. Bad seed, bad blood, the other kids’ parents had muttered, shaking their heads and slamming their doors in his face.
By the time he was in high school he’d decided that if they wanted bad, he’d show them bad. If they wanted trouble, he’d show them trouble. He’d stayed clear of drugs and gangs, but had gotten involved in a few shady dealings. When his classes were over he’d also worked legitimate jobs flipping burgers, stuffing tacos, even working on cars. He didn’t stay in one place very long. His employers claimed he had a bad attitude.
They weren’t the only ones making that claim. In the end, his teenage years had been spent living in a group foster home. He’d always been a loner, never feeling he’d belonged. Until he’d joined the marines. Now he felt part of something bigger than himself.
Being a dad didn’t make him feel like he belonged. Instead it brought back those old feelings of insecurity and not being good enough.
When Jessie had tutored him, she hadn’t made him feel stupid. She’d been the first one who hadn’t judged him, who hadn’t been afraid of him, who’d refused to cut him any slack, who’d complimented him when he succeeded and made him feel so good that he wanted to please her all the time.
She still had that ability. He’d learned that much today. That and the fact that she could kiss like an angel. A Victoria’s Secret angel, he decided with a grin.
He ended up falling asleep on the couch, the book on parenting still spread across his stomach. His morning routine was disrupted by him waking up in the living room instead of in bed at his customary oh-six hundred hours. Breakfast was rushed, but Blue thankfully didn’t spend her usual time dallying over her cold cereal. He got her to preschool right on time.
“Are you coming back?” she asked him as she did every day.
“Affirmative. I’ll pick you up at this facility at seventeen hundred. Understood?”
“Uh-huh.” Blue nodded before turning away from him and rushing into her classroom yelling Jessie’s name.
Curt was tempted to stay a minute longer and get a peek at Jessie himself, but he had a busy schedule ahead of him. He spent Monday mornings at the Great Lakes Naval Training Facility north of Chicago. Although the Marine Corps was a separate branch of the Armed Forces, it fell under the jurisdiction of the Department of the Navy and the Corps had never been real happy about that.
He’d received some of his physical therapy at Great Lakes. Now he’d been temporarily assigned to act as an instructor to new Navy recruits a few days a week. It was all blackboard stuff, not physical. And it was frustrating.
Four hours later, he’d finished his class and was sitting at a borrowed desk in a crowded room, filling out yet more paperwork, when someone slapped him on the back. “I never thought I’d live to see the day when the great Blackwell would be teaching squids, the lowest form of sea life.”
“Wilder!” Curt leaped to his feet, his bum leg forcing him to hang on to the edge of the desk for a moment to regain his balance. “What are you doing here?”
Curt and Joe Wilder had been in boot camp together and had remained friends ever since. Joe was his opposite—a guy who got along with everyone, who’d grown up in a tight-knit military family. With his dark hair and blue eyes, the guy could melt female hearts with no effort at all.
Joe was also an inveterate practical joker so when he started snickering as Curt sat down, he braced himself for the worst.
“What did you do?” Curt demanded suspiciously, checking his office chair to make sure all the wheels weren’t about to fall off or something.
“Me?” Joe repeated with a choir-boy look of innocence that Curt didn’t trust for one minute. “Why, I didn’t do a thing.”
“Then what’s so funny?”
“You had a class with a bunch of squids this morning, didn’t you?”
“Yeah, why?”
“You get any unusual feedback?” Joe inquired. “A few snickers maybe?”
“Why? What’s wrong?” He automatically checked his fly.
“Nothing. If you like yellow happy faces and giant flowers on the soles of your shoes.”
“What?” Curt grabbed his shoe and tried to turn it so he could see the bottom. He groaned. “Oh, no.”
“Am I correct in assuming that you didn’t place those there yourself?”
Curt growled, “Zip it, jarhead. It must have been Blue.” Then he tried in vain to peel the stickers off. The set of yellow happy faces proved to be es
pecially stubborn to get rid of.
“Blue?” Joe repeated, obviously running the name through his mental little black book. “Is she that exotic dancer—?”
“She’s my daughter,” Curt interrupted him.
“Your daughter?” Joe repeated in disbelief. “When did that happen?”
“In San Diego almost four years ago. Remember Gloria?”
“Who doesn’t remember Gloria?” Joe noted fondly.
“Yeah, well she had my baby and never told me about it. Don’t give me that look. I used protection but something must have gone wrong. First I heard about Blue was when Gloria died, and I was listed as the kid’s father and guardian.”
“Hey, that’s too bad about Gloria. She had a big heart. Listen, I hate asking you this, buddy, but are you sure…”
“That Blue is mine?” Curt completed for him.
Joe nodded.
“Yeah, I’m sure. She’s got the same birthmark I had.”
“Why did Gloria name her kid Blue?” Joe asked.
“Gloria always did have a thing for my dress blues, so I figure that’s the reason Blue got the name she did. Damn, I can’t get these stupid stickers off!”
At the sound of Curt’s string of salty curses, Joe fixed him with a disapproving look that would have done a priest proud. “I certainly hope you don’t talk like that around your daughter. When do I get to meet the kid? I think I like her already,” Joe decided with a grin. “Anyone who gets under your skin is okay by me.”
“With friends like you, Wilder, who needs enemies?”
“Anyone tell you that you lack a certain human trait known as a sense of humor, Blackwell?”
“Yeah, you did. Right after you put Heat in my jockstrap.”
“I have no knowledge of the aforementioned incident,” Joe claimed.
“Losing your memory already, Wilder?”
“Now that you mention it, I do seem to recall my completing a certain 4.2-second forty-yard sprint afterward with you hot on my tail.” Joe chuckled. “I never knew I could run that fast. But you got even with me in the end.”