The low voice and footsteps around filter in with the familiar hospital ward smells of disinfectant and soap. I blink away the remaining stickiness from my eyes and smile against the blurring tears.
The nightmare wasn’t real.
I don’t hurt anywhere and when I lift my arm to touch my head, there are no IV lines attached. Last time I woke up, there were lines - and for weeks afterwards. Last time? Twisting my head to one side, I see a wooden bedside cabinet but nothing monitoring my health. Beyond the cabinet, I can see a blue curtain drawn between me and the next occupant. There’s no weakness in my limbs when I push myself to sit, the hospital pillow crinkling behind, and I turn my head to look on the other side of the bed. Sitting on a plastic orange chair in front of the blue curtain is a tall man with blonde hair. He watches me warily with familiar blue eyes.
"Finn?" My voice croaks.
"Rose. Are you feeling okay?" He stands but doesn’t approach.
The shattering of my dream back into a nightmare is too much to handle. I turn and bury my head into the pillow, forcing my anguished tears into the material so nobody else can see or hear. At least I can be sure he won’t attempt to comfort me. After a few minutes, I wipe my face into the pillow and turn back to an alarmed Finn. I pull myself up and wrap my arms around my legs, refusing to speak to him.
"Did I do the wrong thing?" he asks. “You said it was okay for me to help you again. I couldn’t leave you."
"That’s the whole problem, isn’t it? You wouldn’t leave me the first time."
He stares at his shoes. Finn’s face is paler than usual, his quiet sadness palpable.
I push my hair from my face and look around for my clothes. I need to find Alek. "Why am I in hospital?"
"You’re under observation in Emergency. I told them I found you unconscious and called an ambulance," he says, and then adds quietly, "I wasn’t going to leave you by the side of the road."
Beneath my hospital gown, the scars on my arms are the same as yesterday. If it was yesterday I was last in the world? Pink but healed. "But I’m not injured?"
"No."
"So, I can go?"
Finn sighs. "Yes. Lucky for you, I’m a nurse and can vouch for your readiness for discharge."
I laugh softly at the way he talks like a textbook sometimes. "You’ll take me home?"
"Home?"
I swallow. "Back to Alek’s house."
Alek floods in, too, the last moments running from him and the demon. Is he okay? Did he get back out again and if he did, was he alone?
"You really want to go back there?" asks Finn, looking up sharply.
"That’s where I live, isn’t it?" He doesn’t respond. "Do you know where Alek is now?"
"No. Did you see him when you were there?"
"There? Where was I?"
Finn wrinkles his nose. "In the waiting area?"
I laugh at the obviousness of the answer. "Of course, because everybody has to wait their turn…"
"It could’ve been worse."
"I’m perfectly aware of that. Will you take me home so I can wait for Alek, or not?"
"Fine."
"Good." I wave him away. "Let me get dressed."
"I’ll talk to the doctor." Finn’s tall figure slips through the curtains.
I shuffle into my leggings and dress then locate my shoes. I have my rabbit hole, but it’s not the one I wanted.
Chapter Thirty
ROSE
We travel in Finn's car from the hospital back to the house, a hollow emptiness accompanying me. The conversation we had by the roadside isn't mentioned, and the cold fog around Finn has returned.
“How do you feel?” Finn asks, not looking away from the road.
"Tired." Since leaving the hospital, all I’ve wanted to do is crawl into bed and rest.
"Too weak to be around me," he says quietly.
"Probably."
The silence re-enters the car and remains for the rest of the journey. The ordinary, terraced house with its weird secrets appears as the car climbs the hill.
"Did Lizzie ever come back?" I ask Finn
"No idea, I didn't ask about her. Maybe speak to Tom? I think Alek spoke to him. I… kept away."
"Do you think Alek will come back?" I ask as I unlock the front door.
Finn shoves his hands in his pocket. "If he knows you're here, yes."
I step through the front door, and someone careers into me and I’m knocked sideways. I land heavily on the floor and a surprised-looking Finn catches hold of a girl as she charges at the front door.
She drags herself from his grasp and hits the invisible barrier, which once trapped me. "What the fuck?" she yells. The small girl with bobbed black hair and too much eye make-up streaked across her face from crying stares at us. "Where's the other one?"
"What other one?"
"The dark-haired dude in the leather jacket who was here. Likes kidnapping people."
"Do you mean Alek?" I ask, picking myself of the floor.
Finn closes the door and rests against it. "She's a Shade," he says to me.
"Oh yeah, you going to tell me I'm dead now like the other guy did?" she snaps at him. "And why can't I get out of the house?"
"She's a Shade who's filled with energy. Alek's, I presume." He side-glances me. "You could take some."
"What?" the girl steps backwards. "Don't you come near me."
Finn cocks a brow. "If I wanted to hurt you, you wouldn't be standing there right now. Rose?"
The fear this girl tries to hide reminds me of my own, as does her confusion. "If she's no danger to me, I don't want to. I'll wait."
"For Alek?" asks Finn.
"The last time I was created, I didn't need to feed for weeks, did I?"
A squeak comes from the girl in the corner. "Feed? Jesus fucking Christ, are you a vampire?" She points at Finn. "What are you?"
"Where did Alek go?" I ask.
"Dunno. He vanished. He did this weird thing..." She holds her hand against her chest to indicate. "Then he was gone. Is he coming back? Can he let me out?"
"And you feel what now?" asks Finn.
"Normal. Like I want to go home, if someone can explain why I can't get out of the door. Because I really want to leave before anything else freakish happens."
My legs ache so I cross to the sofa and sit. "Alek didn't tell you?"
"Alek said a lot of things."
"Like you're dead?"
"I am not dead! Look!" The girl stomps over to the light and switches it on and off. "And this." She picks up a cushion from the sofa and throws it on the floor. "Or are you saying I'm a poltergeist?"
"I'm too tired for this, Finn. I need to rest. Am I safe to sleep?"
Finn nods. "Fine. Your human body is tired, but your soul’s energy is fine; I’ll keep her away from you."
The girl snorts. "No need to worry there, I don’t want to be near any of you." She walks over to my bag and I stare in disbelief as she rummages around and pulls out my phone. "Can I use this?"
I open my mouth to respond before Finn says, "Yes. But it won't work."
"Of course not," she says sarcastically and turns the screen to him. "Look, a battery life and a signal."
"Go ahead then." Finn perches on the edge of the sofa and crosses his arms.
The girl dials a number, and then backs toward the door, watching us warily. "Leah? It's Kat. Listen, I'm..." She hesitates, brows pulling together in consternation. "Leah? Can you hear me?" Kat studies the phone before putting it back to her ear. My stomach knots for her. She really doesn't know she’s a Shade. Swearing under her breath, she redials. "Leah?"
Finn walks to her as the girl shakes, increasingly panicked in her attempts to talk to Leah. He gently takes the phone from Kat and speaks. "Sorry, wrong number."
I hear the voice reply and so does Kat. Finn finishes the call and calmly places the phone back into my bag. The trembling girl presses herself against the door. "She couldn't hear me?"
"N
o," he says.
"But you can? And you can see me? So I can't be dead. There must be something wrong with the phone?"
"People will see and hear you if they want to, but most people can't."
"Like a ghost?" she whispers. "But I can touch things and look...” She stomps to a wall and slams her hands against it. "If I was a ghost, I could walk through it, right?"
My head hurts and the scars on my arms itch again; my body isn't as fixed as it was a few days ago. I have no information for her; I barely understand my own condition. I look to Finn and shake my head slowly, hoping he knows how to be gentle in his explanations even though her social skills appear as dodgy as his.
"Kat. Is that your name?" he asks and she nods. "In your head, picture a different room. One you'd like to be in right now."
Kat disappears as if someone flicked a switch; five seconds later, her voice travels from the kitchen. "Fucking fuck!"
I bite down an amusement I shouldn't have, especially as Finn appears surprised by her attitude and language. "I haven't met anybody like her before," he says in a low voice.
"I bet she hasn't met anyone like you before."
Kat reappears, some of the fear wiped away. "So I can go anywhere I want just by thinking? Like, I could go home?"
"No! Stop!" Finn approaches her and grabs her arm. "Not yet, you’ll get stuck. You don't have the energy for travelling outside the house. And I don't think you're ready until you accept what you are."
"Well, what are you?" she asks, pulling her arm away.
"A Reaper."
"A what? Like Grim Reaper? Right…" She turns to me. "And you're a vampire? Shit, this is weird. The other guy? What's he? A ghost like I supposedly am?"
"I'm not a vampire," I tell her, "not the blood-sucking sort anyway."
"There's more than one kind? Jesus..." She inhales deeply and closes her eyes. "Okay. I want to be on my own. Then when I've come to terms with this mind-fuck, I’ll get back to you." Kat walks toward the kitchen and pauses. "Why am I walking?" The space where she was standing empties.
"You don't think she's left the house, do you?" I ask Finn.
"No, she's here. Can't you sense her?"
A loud bang from somewhere upstairs alerts Finn and he strides to the stairs. Kat shouts at someone, using the same colourful language as before and a door slams.
"More Shades?" I ask Finn.
"No. I think it's Alek."
Chapter Thirty-one
ROSE
Will this person be Alek? The thought is reflected in Finn's face, too. I'm torn. I want to charge up the stairs, but my last memory of Alek was with a demon. Did he fight back? Or has he done what Finn fears? Kat's voice continues and a male voice comes back at her.
"Wait for him. Don't go up there," says Finn quietly.
A queasy excitement and apprehension surges as Alek's footsteps descend the stairs. I know for sure it's him, the sound so familiar after my weeks living with him. Finn moves away from me, and stands in the corner of the room out of vision of anyone entering.
The Alek who steps into the room is pale and tired, lips colourless. He steadies himself and scans the room. I sit on my hands; the overwhelming urge to go to him could be dangerous.
"How did you get back?" he asks hoarsely. "I went for you and you left me! I thought you’d gone into the Void? They said you had and that if I did this, they’d get you back out again."
"I couldn't... I…" I glance at Finn.
Alek’s eyes narrow as he notices Finn. "The angel? What the hell is he doing here?"
"He brought me back," I say quietly.
"I did this for nothing?" Alek steps toward me then stops. He grips his head and doubles over. "Get out," he rasps. "Finn, get out." I step back in alarm.
"Rose!" Finn says. "Come on."
"No, not Rose. Rose. Stay." Alek sinks to his knees and wraps his arms around his head. "Please."
"What's happening? Alek?" I ask.
"Rose! He's dangerous! Get away from him!" Finn approaches as if to grab me but stops, raking his hand through his hair.
I kneel next to Alek who’s holding his head, face contorted in pain. With my heart thumping so hard it feels as if it could explode from my chest, I reach out and touch his shoulder. Immediately the energy flows, but the wrong way, an ache to match what I get when touching Finn. I snatch my hand away.
Alek lifts his head, eyes pleading. "You have to help me."
"How?"
"I need you..." Alek says, and then clenches his teeth and shakes his head. "Don't touch me!"
"What? Which is it, Alek?"
I extend a hand again and Alek lashes out, smacking my hand away. "Go with Finn."
By now, my head is a mess of confusion. What does Alek want?
"Listen to Alek before he disappears completely," says Finn. "Rose!"
"He's not disappearing! He's right there!"
"I don’t think he is."
"The person he was bringing over, is he here? Did he do this to Alek?" I get to my feet and head for the stairs. "Alek? Is he up there? We could do something to help."
"He's there!" says Finn, pointing at Alek. "Didn’t Alek tell you what he was doing?"
"Bringing someone back..." Light-bulb moment. "Shit. No. Is he possessed? Is this person... thing killing him?"
"I don't know! But we can't stay!" Finn says.
Alek's contorting body lies close to my feet, the man who came to save me and ended like this. Finn, the man who can't touch me but would be dragging me out of the door if he could, stands close by. One can help himself and has done enough for me. The other can't.
"Finn, go. I'm staying."
"No."
"He'll kill you," says Alek, words barely audible. "Make her go with you."
"Rose!" yells Finn.
How can I walk away for a second time? Perspiration grows on Alek’s pallid skin as he pushes onto his hands and knees then collapses again, writhing against an unseen agony. His eyes are closed, and his chest rises and falls rapidly. Frozen, I battle the desire to reach out to him and the common sense urging me to listen to Finn.
I cover my ears but nothing is blocked out, and then I wrap my arms around my head instead, obscuring my hearing and vision. As I crouch on the floor, an icy chill travels across my back from fingers gripping my shoulder. I jerk away from Finn’s touch, loosening my arm from around my head, and I’m thrown straight back into the horror of Alek’s situation.
Alek is motionless.
"Oh, my God! Finn! Can you do something?" I shriek, turning back to him.
Finn holds his fingers in his other hand, gazing at me in shock. I can’t think about this now, how he still can’t touch me. What did he expect?
“There’s evil here, Rose," Finn says hoarsely, "We have to go."
I blink away his words. He no longer touches me, but the chill heading toward my heart isn’t from Finn. The thought Alek could die shatters a part of my soul. "Finn, please…" I manage to rasp.
I shuffle closer, willing Alek to still be breathing. Alive. The room is silent now, as if time has arrested in the moments since Alek last moved. Tentatively, I reach out a hand to touch his clammy face.
Alek’s hand flies up and catches my arm, and I cry out in pain as his fingers crunch around the thin bones of my wrist. "I told you to leave," he gasps and closes his eyes again.
Alek’s grip remains and I wince at this and the loss of energy to him. "I don’t have much, Alek, don’t," I gasp.
I’ve seen a lot of weird crap since I entered the nightmare world inside my own rabbit-hole hell, but this is beyond human comprehension. Someone - something - shimmers into view; part of Alek but not. His form touches Alek, like a double exposure on a photograph where two pictures join and shadow each other. The harder he grips my wrist, the more the figure solidifies. I watch; the crushing panic inside because Alek might die turns to fear for my own life as the figure rapidly becomes a man and the remnants of my energy flood through Alek to
him.
Alek’s grip on my wrist loosens as his arm falls to the floor. He doesn’t move. I gasp for air, the lack of energy bringing on the fog, and I know if I close my eyes I’ll fall back into the Void I recently escaped from. Struggling to keep my eyes open, I focus on the motionless Alek and the impossible man standing next to him. He’s wearing Converse trainers, and for a few moments, I can’t do anything but stare at the black and white shoes. Demons wear Converse? My gaze travels upwards, along long slender legs in black jeans to the non-descript, blue T-shirt stretched across his lean chest.
There’s nothing non-descript about the man regarding me in return, however. His eyes are pale blue, almost white, and the black rims of his irises emphasise the weird colour. He’s pale with long, dark hair touching his shoulders, angular cheekbones and a wide mouth currently curled into a half-smile.
Smoothing his hair, he surveys the room and occupants, resting his scrutiny on me. "Well, I’m glad you were here, Rose," he says with a hint of a European accent and a smirk. “Your energy was a big help. Thank you.”
"What have you done to Alek?" I ask.
"He’ll be okay if you give him a little something." He taps long fingers against his chin. "Oh, no, you can’t, I took all yours. I guess you’ll have to find another source. Any humans live here?"
I stare down at Alek’s pale face, my hair falling forward and hiding my own.
The man cocks his head. "I can’t detect any. Maybe you can go and find him one?"
"What? No!" I struggle to stand and manage to make it as far as the sofa. "Who are you?"
The man opens his mouth to respond, but Finn interrupts. "Dante."
Dante stiffens when he sees Finn leaning against the wall in the corner. "What the hell? How the fuck is an angel here?" He looks down to Alek. "He was supposed to get rid of you. Jesus, I just can’t get the staff these days."
He crosses to Finn who remains motionless. What Dante lacks in height against Finn, he makes up for in presence. "But you’re not quite an angel, are you? What happened? Were you a naughty boy?"
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