She might have approached Hawk to offer him company from one of the dancers, but she was just as likely to be giving him an earful. Representing the club and taking care of Hawk as a guest, while she watched out for signs of him causing trouble. Taking care of the club’s interests.
It struck me as odd when later I saw Hawk in a huddle with Larry, but I thought no more about it.
Beanie and I stepped out for a spliff in the hot night air.
Passing the joint, he asked me, “You made enough to fill up your Honda yet?” I looked into his pale, liquid eyes. “Or do you think you might stick around a while longer?”
Beanie touched my neck and my eyelids fluttered as he stroked behind my ear. Pulled gently on the lobe. Tugged a little in my hair.
He held my chin in his hand while he searched in my eyes. I watched his strong lips. My nipples prickled and stung inside my bra, rubbing hard against the fabric. My lips were dry and the tops of my thighs quivered. My body wanted him so badly.
“Beanie, I have feelings for you, I think you know that.” I stroked the pattern on his scalp, dragged my fingers over his hard jaw. “But I’m in a transition right now. My emotions are all mixed up. I’m volatile, Beanie.”
As he reached toward me, I had to stop him. I wanted his hands to find me. I wanted him to take me, to lift my skirt and open me up. To stretch me out and fill me, right there in the desert moonlight against the wood walls of the clubhouse.
Where my juices heated my aching softness. Where my weeping core called out and yearned to close around his hardness.
It took all of my strength to say, “Beanie, I don’t want you to get hurt.”
“The frail blow-in with no money for gas protects the big, tattooed biker. How weird is that?”
I said, “Beanie…” As a small grin spread, his lip trembled.
He said, “It’s okay. I know. I saw how your face when you saw Larry in the bar. I get it.” He reached to touch my neck, but I pulled back. Right then, I couldn’t stand to feel his touch unless I could feel him all the way. Tenderly, he said, “I saw how you looked at Hawk, too.”
The heat of his strong body was too close. I shrank back against the timber side of the clubhouse wall. My breath was hot and heavy. I wanted out of my shirt. I wanted to wrap myself around him, to draw him into me.
His eyes blazed. His hips and mine were no distance apart. I felt his heat rise. I saw the denim stretch. My knees shook. His big hand cupped my neck and his thumb held my chin.
I tasted his breath. My tongue moistened my lips and my eyes started to close. He was so close that his body warmed my stomach. And my hips.
Larry’s voice shook me like a slap. “Good to see you’re making friends, Belle.”
His face was near and I wanted to smack his grin right off. My whole body shook. Beanie offered him the joint. “Chill, bro.”
Larry’s face tightened and his eyes stood out even more than they had before. Through his teeth, he said, “I’m not your bro,” and he was gone, back inside.
My head was fogged with more confusion than ever. When Larry hissed at Beanie, my knees almost gave way. Even after he was gone, my throat was still thick and my breath was heavy.
Beanie looked at me with such a tenderness that I couldn’t bear it. I ran inside. If I hadn’t gotten away that instant, I would have welled up and lost it completely.
Whirls of thoughts and feelings stormed through me as I hurried to the bar. I got a bourbon. Grinder, the barkeep, watched as I tossed it back.
The fire of the whiskey seared my throat, and it spread like fire as it coursed down through my body.
I should have been helping Grinder behind the bar, but he said, “Take a little time, Belle. You look like you need it.”
“That’s awfully kind,” I said, “but I need to earn. I’m in a hole, you know?”
He put his big hand on mine. “We take care of our own, Belle. Take it easy for now, all right? Get your head straight.”
Our own. Could these people really be so ready to accept me? In the short time I’d been in the clubhouse and around these bikers, I had learned one thing: when they said a thing, they meant it.
Jascinta came to the bar and stood beside me. I expected her to give me a tough time for not pulling my weight in the club.
She leaned toward me, watched my hair as she touched it. She touched my face with a look of concern. She said, “I see turmoil, Belle.”
Still I thought she was talking about me not earning my keep in the club, but she said, “You need to discover what's in your heart and what's in your way. I think you’re in a kind of psychic shock.”
The words resonated inside me. I told her about how Larry trashed my credit and ran out with the rent.
Jascinta shook her head and said, “This seems like an older wound to me, Belle. I think it’s something you may have carried a long time.” I was taken aback by her kindness. She said, “Find some peace, Belle, and try to see what’s really important for you.”
As she left, she added, “Avoid big decisions while you’re suffering this way.”
Some chance of that, I thought. I didn’t see how I’d get through the next twenty-four hours without some pretty big decisions. I thought about what she told me, though.
I felt as though she had seen me clearly., more clearly that I had seen myself of late. It was unsettling, but somehow I felt liberated by it.
I took the next bourbon slowly. I savored the warmth and the rich flavor. I seemed to glimpse myself in a new and different light.
It wasn’t long before Larry dragged his ugly mood to me at the bar. He was tense, irritable, and twitchy.
“Belle, why don’t you just go outside, get in the car, and wait for me? I’ll forget all of this ever happened and we’ll be back on the straight in no time.”
Back on the straight was a refrain of his. He must have heard it at a card table and thought it sounded badass. I was pretty sure he heard it wrong, though.
He looked at me like he expected me to just do what he said. That was how delusional he was. I didn’t move. He reached out for my hand. I snatched it away.
Hammer appeared at Larry’s shoulder. “This is a thing between you and Belle.”
Larry snarled over his shoulder. He didn’t even turn his head. “So why are you sticking your nose in, biker?”
Hammer’s voice quieted a notch. “I give you fair warning.” Larry’s eyes blazed. His lip tightened and curled as Hammer spoke. “Beanie has taken an interest in Belle. I guess I have too, to some degree.”
Larry’s lip pulled back to show more of his teeth. Hammer told him, “You probably don’t want to be seen trying to harm her or take her against her will.”
Hammer’s arm rested on Larry’s shoulder. It looked friendly, but the gleam in Hammer’s eye told another story. I sensed that he’d just love an excuse to rip Larry apart. Knowing that and seeing the two men so close together made me so hot I could hardly stand it.
Then Beanie was at my side. He spoke pleasantly to Larry. “We’ll respect Belle’s choices here. If she wants to go with you, it’s no problem.” He smiled. “If she doesn’t, don’t make an ass of yourself, a’ight?”
Larry’s face twitched, “Just mind your own business, pretty boy,” and he whacked Beanie’s shoulder with the heel of his hand.
The whole clubhouse seemed to go quiet and still. Beanie looked down at his shoulder like a bug had crawled on it. His eyes swiveled back to Larry. “You could be needing your manners upgraded, Larry.”
Larry shoved him again. Beanie’s arm shot out like a whip. His open hand caught Larry under the chin. Larry’s head snapped back and his arms windmilled as he staggered backwards into the bar.
Glasses flew. As they fell to shatter on the floor, bikers backed away to leave a clear circle around the four of us. Larry drew his arm back with his fist clenched.
Hammer grabbed him and said, “Take this out back into the ring.” Larry was shaking. Hammer went on, “You wo
n’t make so much of a mess when Beanie breaks you, and we can all make some money betting against you.”
There were halos in the smoky air that clouded around the low lights. The ring was the only part of the barn that was lit. Word of a grudge match, a fight fueled by raw anger, set a buzz round the room.
Bikers were looking to bet, but almost nobody backed Larry. Beanie was taller, but stripped to the waist, Larry was heavier and more solid. With the tape strapped around them, his fists looked huge.
Maybe it was the lights, but he looked heftier and harder than last time I’d seen him. That was no more than two weeks ago. Could he really have put on so much bulk? It looked like it was mostly muscle, too.
When he swung his arms and rolled his shoulders he looked like a weapon of flesh. I couldn’t believe it was the same man.
Light on his feet, Beanie bounced on the canvas and warmed up. He jabbed, firing his arms out in fast volleys. His head was low and his grey eyes glowed.
Two men, both of them in fine shape, were in the ring to slug it out. Over me.
There was a lot wrong with the way I felt about that, and I knew it. Damn, it felt good, though.
The bikers in the room roared as the bout began. There was no room for doubt about who they were cheering for.
I was for Beanie, too, but my body sang and vibrated with tension and tingling, crackling excitement.
With their fists up and their heads low they circled each other. They sprang and circled, slow and deliberate.
Beanie was lighter, more agile, but Larry looked powerful.
Beanie threw a punch, Larry knocked it aside. He threw another and Larry deflected again.
Beanie jabbed hard and fast. Larry dodged easily and sprang a punch to Beanie’s body. It connected, and my gut felt the sickening sound. Beanie sprang back.
They sparred like that for some time, probing, feeling each other out. Beanie seemed to have the skills. Larry had the strength.
Soon a sheen of sweat made their tense bodies shimmer. I strained at the edge of the ring, leaned over the canvas. I shouted for Beanie. Larry sneered with a cruel leer whenever he heard me.
Then Beanie landed a blow on Larry’s head. Then another, and another before Larry could retreat out of range. Beanie moved in after him. Larry slung an evil, low jab.
Beanie sprang back, but not far enough. Larry’s fist connected with a thud. Beanie’s eyes bulged and his face creased as the blow landed. Right away, he let loose a fast rattle of punches right at Larry’s head.
Most of the blows connected loudly, and Larry stumbled backwards.
Beanie moved in. There was a noise from behind me in the crush, a squall and a rush.
Hawk, his face red, burst through and charged the ring. Beanie’s startled face turned with his body to face Hawk and block him. Larry’s fists lashed Beanie hard on the face. A quick salvo of hard strikes knocked Beanie backward.
Hawk lunged at the two men. He caught Larry and the two of them went to the mat. Hawk’s fists slammed into Larry’s head. The nauseating drumbeat thundered in the echo of the room.
The crowd pressed behind me, and I thought I could be crushed. Beanie leapt and locked his arm around Hawk’s throat. He used his other hand to pull the lock tight. He squeezed and Hawk’s eyes began to roll.
Hammer shouted. He rushed the ring from behind me and grabbed a hold of Beanie. Beanie kept on squeezing. Hammer whacked Beanie hard with his forearm and Beanie went down.
Hawk fell limp when Beanie let go. Larry flailed underneath him.
Beanie slumped on the mat. His head shook slowly. Larry crawled out from under Hawk. He moved toward Beanie, but Hammer blocked him. From the bikers around the barn came a noise between a rumble and a growl.
The sound should have told Larry if he laid a hand on Beanie now, he wouldn’t get out alive. Hammer told him it in words.
Jascinta moved quickly onto the mat and over to where Hawk lay. She held the back of her hand under Hawk's nose. She pulled his eyelids open one by one and peered into them. Then she hauled him onto his side.
Moving around his body, Jascinta pulled up Hawk’s knee, then his arm. She pulled his mouth open and poked her fingers inside.
By her brisk, efficient movement, she was following a practiced procedure.
Hammer said, “Is he going to be OK?”
Jascinta nodded.
Beanie got to his feet slowly. Hammer clapped a hand on his shoulder and asked if he was okay. Beanie nodded.
Hammer’s voice was low and firm. He told Larry, “It would be timely if you fucked right off about now. That way, we won’t have to wipe your carotid spray off the walls.”
Larry’s temple throbbed. His neck bulged. Hammer’s eyes narrowed. “You’re pumped on ’roids. You sold ’roids to Hawk, didn’t you?” Larry looked dumbstruck. I could see the familiar fury rise. Thwarted again.
Hammer’s eyes narrowed. “It was you, wasn’t it?” Larry didn’t move. Hammer said, “No one else here would have been that dumb.”
His hand was still on Beanie’s shoulder. He said, “Sorry about the slam, Beanie. I like Hawk, too, but I need you whole.” Waving his hand at Larry, he said, “I don’t give a fuck about this piece of shit, and I don’t care enough about the two of them together that I’d risk losing you.”
Hammer’s chin straightened and flattened. Beanie’s mouth tightened. Hammer said, “Not to the jail or the morgue.” They looked in each other’s eyes a moment.
Watching, I felt a surge of feeling for the commitment these men gave to each other.
Hammer turned back to Larry. “You, fucker.” His voice was cold and hard now. “You came into our club and you brought drugs to sell? You dealt drugs in a biker bar, and you didn’t even think to discuss it with us?”
Larry was gathering his response. Hammer didn’t give him time. “Forget about what kind of drugs they were—how did you think that would not get you killed, asshole?”
Hammer’s hand went to Larry’s shoulder. He spun Larry around fast and got his arm tight around Larry’s neck. He put a knee into Larry’s back and stretched. Larry’s face flushed red and he shook.
His arms trembled and he reached for Hammer’s arm. Then his legs twitched. He went limp. Hammer let him slide to the floor. Still kneeling by Hawk, Jascinta looked up at Hammer. She made no move.
Hammer told her, “He’ll be out for twenty minutes. Half an hour, at most.” He turned to Beanie with a twinkle in his eye. “That’s if I timed it right,” he said, and he shrugged.
Hammer beckoned a group of bikers over. “Sling him in the back of that despicable pimp boat outside. Drive him about fifteen minutes or so into the desert. If he comes round before you leave, knock him out again.”
I said, “Will he survive, Hammer?”
“Probably, Belle. But, you know what? I honestly don’t care either way.
Beanie’s eyes welled as he bro-hugged Hammer.
“You, Hawk… well, I’m not one to tell a bro his business, but I’d put some thought to how you conducted yourself these past few days.”
“You,” Hammer turned to me. “I’m claiming you.” I nearly came on the spot. He said, “For the club. For Beanie.” His smile was evil as he said, “For tonight.”
Three Hitmen: A Triple Bad Boy Mafia Romance (Lawless Book 2) Page 24