I wailed. Id better get to work.
I dashed back to my old room and threw open the door to find it packed full with the furniture from the living room.
Whoa! I exclaimed.
Aidan opened the door to our bedroom across the hall. Youre home! he said with a grin.
I closed the door and gave him a kiss on the lips. I cant believe you decided to write your own vows without telling me! I whined. Now I have to hurry up and write mine.
You dont have to, he said. I just had so much that I wanted to say I decided to write my own.
Well, I want to do it, too.
Then youd better get to work. Times running out and it isnt as easy as youd think.
No kidding! I never thought it would be easy; you started this, I said as I slipped by him. He followed me 333
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in and quickly scooped up a notepad that was lying open on the desk. He ripped off the top page and tossed the notebook to me.
Get to work. Ill go see if Adam needs any help.
He left, shutting the door behind himself, and I set to work.
Several hours later, the door opened again. A small pile of crumpled false starts and frustrated attempts surrounded me. I turned expecting to see Aidan, but it was Adam. He was holding a white bundle in his arms.
Sorry to interrupt, he said, but its almost time to start. Your guests will be arriving soon and I have a surprise for you. I know I told Aidan to just dress casually, but I thought of this today and got your sizes out of your closet and wellhere.
He held out his bundle and I saw now that it was clothing. White chinos and a white chamois button-up shirt that was as soft as velvet. I accepted with a hug.
Consider them a wedding present, he said. Now get dressed and get ready. Bryan is here already. Ill send him back with Aidan in a minute.
I quickly pulled on the clothes Adam had bought me and found that they fit perfectly. I was reading over my completed vows when a soft knock came on the door.
Come in, I called.
It opened to reveal Aidan and a young man who appeared to be not much older than Aidan and I.
Will, this is Rev. Cairbre, Aidan said.
Please, call me Bryan, the minister said as he held out his hand for me to shake. He was a stocky guy with brown hair and eyes and an athletic build. He looked like he would be more at home on a football field than in a pulpit. He was wearing a simple black suit and tie.
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Thank you so much for doing this on such short notice, I said.
Oh please, thank you for the privilege, he said with a warm smile. I dont get to do nearly as many of these as I would like. Besides, I owed Adam a favor. He designed our churchs website and wouldnt let us pay him for it.
Id like to come to your church sometime, I said. I havent been to church in months, since I admitted that I was gay. My dads a minister I choked up and couldnt go on. Aidan was by my side in a flash with his arm around my waist.
Hey, say no more, Bryan said sympathetically, mis-understanding my emotion, so was my dad. It leaves its share of scars. If you want, after the wedding and all the excitement has settled down, get up with me and I can give you some material on recovering from Bible abuse.
Bible abuse?
Yeah, thats the term for how religion has twisted and used the Bible to hurt people like us, and others.
Come in with an open mind and you may just find some healing. I know youll find Gods love.
I nodded uncertainly, but I already knew I wanted to know more. Now wasnt the time though, our wedding was getting ready to start in fifteen minutes.
He asked for our rings, we were using the rings Aidan had bought, and then quickly ran over the order of the ceremony. It was short, simple, and very elegant. I loved it. I found myself getting truly excited about what we were about to do. There had been so much going on that I hadnt really had time to think about it. But now my heart was racing and I felt a growing anticipation.
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After that, it was just a matter of waiting. Adam was greeting the guests as they arrived and making the big announcement. Steve, who had been in on it all from the first, was filming everyones reactions so we could watch it later.
Finally, after enough time had gone by for me to develop a severe case of butterflies, a soft rap came at the door. Adam popped his head in.
Bryan? he said. Were ready.
Bryan slipped out and Adam stayed in the doorway.
We could easily hear Bryan as he addressed our small group of friends. Friends, we are here this day to share with Aidan and Will a most important moment in their lives. They have learned to know and love each other and now they have decided to live their lives together.
I would like to thank each of you on their behalf for being here. You have each been invited because you are important to them and they wanted you to share in this moment with them. I would like to start by reading a passage of scripture that I find very appropriate for such a time as this. Its from 1 Corinthians 13: 4-13.
Love is patient and kind; love is not jealous or boast-ful; it is not arrogant or rude. Love does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrong, but rejoices in the right. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends; as for prophecy, it will pass away; as for tongues, they will cease; as for knowledge, it will pass away. For our knowledge is imperfect and our prophecy is imperfect; but when the perfect comes, the imperfect will pass away. When I was a child, I spoke like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child; when I became a man, I gave up childish ways. For now 336
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we see in a mirror dimly, but then face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall understand fully, even as I have been fully understood. So faith, hope, love abide, these three; but the greatest of these is love.
As his last words faded away, music started as if on cue. I quickly recognized the opening of *NSYNCs
This I Promise You. Adam signaled to us to come.
Aidan offered his arm, which I took, and together we walked down the hall and into the living room. As we entered, everyone stood up and I got my first glimpse of who had come.
There, beaming back at us was everyone in my life that mattered to me. Killian and Asher were the first faces I focused on. To their right stood Kane and beyond him, Caitlin, wearing a slightly stunned expression. Behind them stood Ilana and Lysander. Gabe and Laura were there, and Nikki with her boyfriend, Sam.
Steve was across the room aiming a camcorder in our direction. Bryan was standing in front of the Christmas tree. To my surprise, I noticed it was snowing outside the windows. It couldnt have been more perfect.
Then I noticed the final touch. Mom stood at the back of the room, just inside the door. She looked worn out, tired beyond measure, but she was there and she was smiling with tears in her eyes. Aidan squeezed my hand and I realized that he must have had something to do with her being there.
We turned finally to face Bryan as the last notes of the song faded away. Adam took a seat next to Kane as everyone sat down and looked at us expectantly.
Bryan spoke again. Will and Aidan, all of us know that you are deeply in love. But beyond the warmth and glow, the excitement and romance, what is love, really?
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Real love is caring as much about the welfare and happiness of your partner as about your own. Real love is not possessive or jealous; it is liberating; it sets you free to become your best self. Real love is not total absorp-tion in each other; it is looking outward in the same direction together. Love makes burdens lighter, because you divide them. It makes joys more intense, because you share them. It ma
kes you stronger, so that you can reach out and become involved with life in ways you dared not risk alone.
Aidan, do you find within you a love that united you and Will?
I do, said Aidan.
Do you find within you the courage to resist the many deaths by which love can die? Are you willing to love Will into his unique fullness, and to take the risk and the vulnerability of love again and again?
I am.
Will, do you find within you a love that united you and Aidan?
I do.
Do you find within you the courage to resist the many deaths by which love can die? Are you willing to love Aidan into his unique fullness, and to take the risk and the vulnerability of love again and again?
I am.
Aidan and Will, as you have affirmed your willing-ness to join together, I now invite you to make the promises of your covenant together. Aidan?
Will, these past few months have been so difficult for both of us. There were many times when, if youd told me this day would ever come, I would have laughed 338
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in your face or cried because I wanted it so much. But here we are and I cant even find words to say how happy I am. I have been so blessed to find you. I now join you to share all of life with you, its responsibilities and freedoms, its joys and sorrows, to love and care for you. As we continue to grow in our love for each other, I will always love you, and listen to you, and speak the truth to you, and try to be the best person I can be for you. I look forward to spending the rest of my life with you, as long as God gives us together.
I took a deep breath and tried not to cry. Aidan, I started and then realized I was going to have to read my vows if I ever hoped to get through them. I pulled them out of my pocket and tried to ignore the sniffling coming from the rest of the room. Aidan, when I met you a few months ago, I never in my wildest dreams thought I would be standing here now, doing what I am doing. I didnt even know I was gay then. And in reality, my love for you goes so far beyond labels or gender. It doesnt have anything to do with being gay or straight; it just has to do with the fact that you are a beautiful person and I love you. I love you with all my heart and with all my soul. Youve been there for me so many times, even to the point of saving my life more than once. Now I give to you that life that you saved. I look forward to living that life with you, sharing all that life brings, and celebrating each day as a gift from God, as long as we both shall live.
Bryan reached into his pocket and pulled out the two rings. He held one up for everyone to see. These rings are the symbol of the vows just taken, a circle of whole-ness; an unbroken, never-ending, perfect form. These 339
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rings mark the beginning of a long journey together filled with wonder, surprises, tears, laughter, celebra-tions, grief, and joy. May these rings glow in reflection of the warmth and the life which flow through the wear-ers today.
He handed the ring to Aidan. Aidan, place this ring on Wills hand and repeat after me, I give you this ring as I give you my love and faithfulness.
We repeated the process with me placing the ring on Aidans hand.
Let us pray. Our Father, we rejoice with Aidan and Will. We thank you for their families and friends who have helped to shape their lives. We thank you for the opportunities and events which challenge them to their lifes work. We thank you for their ever-deepening relationship and their decision to share the future together.
We pray that we may be responsible witnesses to them enabling them to share their lives for the sake of all people.
Aidan and Will, go into the world and fulfill your lives. Hold fast to your ideals. Give one another new experiences of joy. Challenge one another that you might grow together. May this love now sealed with your mutual covenant mature and enrich the experiences of you both. May your home be a happy one and your lives fulfilled. Amen.
Aidan and Will, why dont you seal your vows with a kiss?
He didnt have to ask twice. We stepped forward and kissed softly.
Ladies and gentlemen, it is my great honor to pronounce Aidan Michael Scott and William Spencer 340
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Keegan joined before God. May your lives be blessed together.
With that, everyone rose to their feet and began to applaud as one.
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CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO
The small, informal reception that followed the wedding was almost as unconventional as the ceremony itself. The most traditional touch was a beautifully decorated three-tiered wedding cake, but even that had an original touch. On the top proudly stood two grooms, one with black hair, and one with brown.
Everyone stayed for the festivities, including, to my surprise, Mom, although she was looking a little pale and strained. That was understandable under the circumstances. Who could blame her really? Dad was quite possibly dying, and here she is attending her sons mar-riageto another man. Shed been a pastors wife her entire adult life; I knew this couldnt be easy for her. I was very touched that she was there at all.
She wasnt the only one who wasnt one-hundred percent supportive. I could tell Laura wasnt exactly thrilled about this turn of events. I wasnt looking forward to our next conversation. And then there was Caitlin. Id noticed that shed kept a strange expression on her face throughout the ceremony and now she seemed to be positively glaring in our direction every time I looked her way. Whenever she noticed that I was looking at her though, she would quickly rearrange her 342
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features into a poor imitation of a smile. It came out as more of a grimace though, as if she was experiencing some sort of sudden attack of gastro-intestinal pain.
Eventually I disengaged myself from Aidan, no easy task since he seemed to have become so attached to my arm that I thought I might have to be surgically removed, and made my way over to her.
Once there, however, I didnt know what to say. She didnt make it easy on me. She stared at me with her arms crossed and an unreadable expression on her face.
Um, hey. You okay? I said after an awkward pause.
Why wouldnt I be? she said icily.
I dont know, but your body language is speaking pretty clearly, I said in what I hoped was a lighthearted manner.
And what is it saying?
UmI just wanted to make sure you were okay.
Oh, Im grand. That was some surprise you guys pulled here tonight. I sure as hell didnt see it coming.
God I wish I had a drink.
I blinked in surprise at the venom in her voice.
We didnt want to make a big deal out of it. We wanted it to be a surprise.
Well you succeeded. It makes me wonder what else youve been keeping from me.
What are you talking about?
I can see the writing on the wall, Will. Youve got your perfect little family now, newlyweds with a baby on the way. Only one little problem: me. Once the babys here Ill be out of the picture.
Caitlin! Thats crazy!
Oh, so now Im crazy?
No, I meanCaitlin, youre the mother. Id never 343
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try to cut you out of the babys life. Im just going to help you, thats all.
Sure, thats what you say now. Ill bet youre already planning ways to get rid of me.
Where is this coming from? I looked around to see if anyone was close enough to bail me out of this bizarre encounter. Everyone seemed to be involved in their own conversations, completely oblivious to the parallel universe that I seemed to have slipped into.
With a sudden intensity that took me off guard, Caitlin leaned in and grabbed me tightly by the wrist.
Instinctively, I pulled back but her grip was like iron.
Dont think I dont know, she hissed
furiously.
Dont know what? I asked helplessly. I felt like I was in a play in which someone had switched the scripts halfway through and no one had thought to provide me a copy.
Dont play games with me, Will.
Caitlin, Im not playing games with you. Im not playing games with anybody. I swear that I have no clue what you are talking about.
Just then, the phone rang, providing me with the perfect escape from this unreal exchange.
Id better get that, I said and went off in search of the phone.
Killian found it before I did and answered it. I watched him listen for a few seconds then motion to Aidan. Aidan took the phone, and after listening for a few seconds himself, looked around the room. When his eyes met mine, he quickly looked away and disappeared down the hall. Was it my imagination or was he acting a bit guilty? What was going on? Had somebody slipped something in the punch? First Caitlin and now 344
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Aidan.
Thinking of Caitlin again, I turned around to see if she was still there, but she was just slipping out the door with her coat on. Everyone else was still deep in conversation, so I made my way over to Killian.
Who was that on the phone? I asked casually. Or at least I was going for casual. It probably came out sounding desperately nosy.
Oh, uhI dunno. You should ask Aidan. I, uh, hafta pee. Excuse me.
I sighed. So much for casual. Another glance around the room told me everyone was still engrossed in their conversations, so I started off down the hall to find Aidan.
He was in our bedroom talking in a hushed tone.
When he noticed me in the doorway his eyes widened for a split-second, then he smiled and covered up the mouthpiece.
Hey babe, you need something? he asked cheerily.
Curiouser and curiouser, I thought, especially considering that he never calls me babe.
I was wondering where youd disappeared to, I said.
I have to take this call and then Ill be right out. You go on back to the party.
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