Stop, a seemingly disembodied voice ordered.
I froze.
Will? Aidan called. Do you need something?
Dont speak, the voice hissed. Go across the hall to the other bedroom.
At first, I didnt move, but then a hint of movement in the gloom caught my eye and slowly a gun material-ized. It was followed by an arm and at last, the killer.
My heart stopped. Everything stopped. It seemed like time itself simply ceased to move forward. And then everything made a horrible kind of sense.
Caitlin, I said sadly.
She cocked her head to one side.
You dont seem surprised, she said.
Somehow Im not.
Youre not as smart as you think you are, she growled. You never even suspected me. I even tried to warn you, but you wouldnt listen. I told you I would do anything to protect my baby and I meant it. I dont want to do this. Youre different from the others. I like you, maybe I even love you, but I dont have a choice.
Yes, you do have a choice. You dont have to do
whatever it is youre thinking about doing. I couldnt bring myself to say the words.
Im going to kill you, Will, you and Aidan. And youre wrong. I dont have a choice. I have to protect my baby.
Theres always a choice. How is killing me going to protect your baby? Im going to help
Enough with the lies already, Will! she interrupted angrily. I already told you I figured out your little scam.
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Youre not getting my baby.
I dont want to take the baby away from you, Caitlin.
I just want to help. I desperately wanted to look and see where Aidan was, but I couldnt tear my eyes off of that gun.
Get in the bedroom, now. Im tired of playing games.
I backed up until I felt the door at my back and opened it without turning around.
Come on out, Aidan, she yelled suddenly. Therell be no last minute heroics from you unless you want me to kill Will right now.
Aidan stepped calmly out of the kitchen but stayed at that end of the hall.
I know the truth, Caitlin, he said in a reasonable tone, as if he was commenting on the weather or mentioning that nights TV schedule.
What truth? Caitlin said. It was obvious his attitude was unnerving her.
I talked to your dad earlier tonight, nice guy.
Youre lying.
He told me the whole story. You see, some things didnt add up to me, I got suspicious. So I called him.
Youre a lying bastard.
Really? Then how would I know that youve been in and out of mental hospitals all your life. Emotionally unstable is the phrase I believe he used. He told me about the time you killed the family dog when you were ten because you said he kept chewing your dolls up.
And the time you attacked your friend at school because she cheated with your boyfriend. That one was pretty serious; she could have died. You were in the hospital 358
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for quite a while that time. He also told me how the doctors had finally said you were stable enough to be released and how he and your mother fought it, but they released you anyway. They havent heard from you since until now. Are you even enrolled at Pemberton?
Im going to kill you, and Im going to kill Will, and then Ill go away and start over somewhere where nobody can hurt me or my baby.
Youre not going anywhere, Caitlin. Im not the only one who knows this. Theyll find you and the very thing youve been afraid of all along will come true; youll lose the baby.
Oh sure, what am I supposed to do then? Stay here and wait for the police? I dont think so. This is all Joeys fault. Hes the one that kept telling me to kill our baby.
Kill it! Can you believe it? I never intended to have an abortion. I would never kill my baby. I didnt mean to kill Joey. It was a mistake. Im not sorry though. Im glad hes dead.
What about Blake and Robbie?
They had to die. They knew about me. If they had told anyone, I would have lost my baby. Everything Ive done has been for the baby. I have to protect my baby. Thats what Im doing now. Thats why you both have to die. Get in the room, now.
No, he said flatly.
What was he doing? I let my eyes dart his way for a second. He was standing at the end of the hallway, leaning against the kitchen doorway, backlit by the bright light from the kitchen since I hadnt turned on the hall light. He looked almost angelic, as if he were glowing from within.
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Dont play games with me, Aidan? her voice was getting shrill. It was obvious she was losing what little control she had. Why didnt Aidan just do what she said, before he got us both killed? If he were closer maybe, we could both rush her at once.
Im not the one playing games. Youve played us all along, lied to us, manipulated us, and all the while you were a killer.
She shook her head. Shut up!
And now the very thing youre most afraid of is about to happen.
Shut up!
Youre going to lose your baby because youre an insane murderer.
Shut up, shut up, shut up!
Youll never see your baby again.
Shut up, damn you!
The blast was deafening. My body reacted without thought. At the sound of the explosion, I launched myself at Caitlin full force, slamming into her and taking us both down in a pile just inside the doorway to the dark bedroom.
I lunged for the gun in her hand and we grappled for control of the weapon. With what seemed like almost superhuman strength she wrenched the gun from my grasp and whipped me across the face. I tasted the me-tallic bite of blood in my mouth but I was beyond pain.
I blindly threw punch after punch, some connected and some didnt, but I kept on swinging. She struck me in the face again, this time connecting more solidly, and I reeled back from the blow.
I was blinded by the pain and blinked frantically to clear my vision. I found myself with the muzzle of the 360
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gun only inches from my face. I scrambled backwards until I came against something solid, the dresser. I groped frantically behind me and grabbed the first thing I felt.
Say hello to Joey for me, she said with a frighten-ing smile.
I swung my hand forward, yanking the cord I had grabbed with it.
To this day I dont know if the swinging lamp distracted her or if at the last moment she hesitated for one second too long, but for whatever reason, the shot went wild, shattering the mirror across the room as the heavy pottery lamp caught her full in the face.
I didnt waste a second. While she was still stunned from the blow, I sprung on her. Grasping the lamp like a club, I brought it down over her head, once, twice
then I felt her go limp beneath me.
I snatched up the gun and shoved away as quickly as I could. I held the gun trained on her even though I had never held a gun before in my life. She didnt move a muscle, though. I struggled to my feet and backed into the hall, still keeping a careful eye on her.
Aidan? I called. There was no answer. Aidan?
I tore my eyes away from her inert body and looked for Aidan. His feet lay splayed out in the middle of the hallway; the rest of him lay out of sight in the kitchen.
Aidan? I screamed, and then I was running down the short hall. I came up short at the door.
Oh my God, I whimpered. He was still all in white, wearing the clothes that Adam had given us for our wedding, but now the front of his chest was soaked bright red. A slow growing pool of blood surrounded him. His eyes were closed.
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With a wordless cry, I fell to my knees next to him an
d cradled his head in my lap.
His eyes fluttered open and I felt a tiny glimmer of hope stir inside me. Oh my God, Aidan, I cried. Its going to be okay, right? Youre going to be okay. Were going to be okay.
Im sorry he whispered as his eyes slipped shut.
Theres nothing to be sorry about. Its going to be fine. I know it.
tried to draw it outkeep her talking
Shh, Aidan. Dont talk, honey. Just hang on, okay?
Just hang on. Dont leave me.
called the police
Dont leave me, Aidan.
I love you, Will , he breathed, his voice so soft now I might have imagined it.
Dont go, Aidan, I sobbed. Please dont leave me.
Ill love you forever, Will
Oh God, I love you, too, Aidan. I love you.
His eyes fluttered open again and he looked into mine, past my eyes and into my soul. And then they closed for the last time. I knew he was gone. I felt him leave. I felt a part of my soul leave with him.
I love you. I love you. I love you, I sobbed. I kissed his lips and rocked his body back and forth. I was still rocking and crying when the police burst in minutes later. They swarmed around me and down the hall, but they were too late. Too late for Aidan. Too late for me.
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EPILOGUE
Looking back, its clear. I should have seen it, should have known.
Known what? Doctor Wohler asked. That your new friend was a very sick young woman? Not physically but mentally unbalanced. That she ruthlessly killed your best friend and two others? That she would try to kill you and your lover? How could you have known any of those things, Will? Its useless to blame yourself, although its a natural response. Weve talked a lot about how we can never be responsible for someone elses actions and it holds true here. What a person does is fully their own choice, no matter what the circumstances.
But
But what? You should have known? How? Youre not a psychic. No one knew.
I should have done something, done more...
You did all you could. What you did saved your life.
But not Aidans, and maybe my life isnt worth living without him.
You have your whole life ahead of you, Will. Your mother is still alive and I imagine shell need you in the 363
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weeks ahead.
Ive moved back in with her. I couldnt bear to go back to the apartment.
Thats probably for the best. And youve got a promising career in the arts ahead of you. I shook my head as he continued, And youve got a baby on the way.
That agreement still stands, I suppose.
Yes, I said slowly. Its legally binding, which is just as well now since Caitlins been arrested and all. I dont know what would have happened to the baby otherwise; I dont think her parents wanted it. Shes awaiting trial now. I dont know what will happen to her, and to be honest, I dont really care. They could give her the death penalty for all I care, but I get the baby. Although, she hasnt been doing very well lately.
The doctors say it looks like it may be a difficult pregnancy, so I suppose theres a chance the baby might not make it.
Youve been surrounded by so much death in the last few months I guess its natural for you to expect it around every corner, but with modern medicine the way it is now, the baby has a very good chance of surviving even a difficult pregnancy.
I guess well see, I said disconsolately.
Yes, we will. At least we will as long as you dont do anything to hurt yourself.
I wont, I said firmly. Not that I havent thought about it, butI guess I feel I owe it to Aidan to not give up again. He taught me that
Then his life was not lived in vain.
No, it wasnt in vain, I agreed softly. I should go.
Ive taken too much of your time as it is.
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Nonsense, its quite all right. Thats why Im here.
Still, I need to go, to get home.
Will you come see me again? Soon perhaps?
I think I will.
Good.
Thank you, Dr. Wohler, I stood to leave but paused by the door and turned around, my hand on the knob.
You know, Dad once told me to look up a Bible verse, right after he found out I was gay. It was Hosea 8:7. Do you know it?
No, Im afraid Im not very familiar with the Bible.
Can you quote it?
Oh yes. I cant get it out of my head these days. It says, For you have sown the wind, and you shall reap the whirlwind. Ive thought about that a lot. Do you think that he could have been right? Maybe Im just reaping the whirlwind.
No, Will, I may not be much of a Bible scholar, but I dont think thats how God works. I dont think you are being punished. Youre not reaping the whirlwind. In fact, I think youve weathered the storm, Will, and youre stronger because of it.
I thought for a moment about what he had said and suddenly the painting I had done so many months ago popped into my head. It had fit my situation so perfectly then, and it still fit. I saw the tiny frog clinging doggedly to that thin blade of grass while a raging storm whipped furiously around him. He might bend but he wouldnt break. He was a survivor. Like me.
A small smile turned the corners of my mouth up. I looked up to find Dr. Wohler smiling back at me. Thank you, I said again, and slipped out, closing the door 365
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behind me and maybe, just maybe, closing the door on my past.
The End.
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ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Josh Aterovis, a twenty-something artist-author, was born and bred on the Eastern Shore of Maryland and lives there with his husband, Jon. Aterovis is a Latin pseudonym meaning "black sheep."
Whenever anyone asked Josh what he wanted to be when he grew up, he always said an author. It got him plenty of strange looks, but he never really expected it to come true; it was just one of those things a kid says.
In 1999, Joshs wishful dream became reality when he began to write a story and post it on the Internet. Bleeding Hearts resonated deeply with readers, who encour-367
JOSH ATEROVIS
aged him to seek publication. In 2001, the story was published by Renaissance Alliance Publishing, Inc.
Named the Best Whodunit of 2002 by the Stonewall Society, Bleeding Hearts became the first book in the Killian Kendall mystery series.
Reap the Whirlwind, his second book featuring ama-teur sleuth Killian Kendall, was published in trade pa-perback in May of 2003 and the Stonewall Society promptly awarded it the Best Whodunit of the year. Josh has completed four books in the series and is currently working on the fifth. He has won numerous awards for his writing and for his web site, which also features his well-received art gallery:
http://www.steliko.com/bleedinghearts.
Both books are also available as ebooks through Ebooksonthe.net.
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AWARD WINNING WORK BY
JOSH ATEROVIS
An intriguing mystery and compelling tale of growing up gay in a small-minded town.
Killian Kendall's friend Seth is murdered and Killian is seriously injured, the police call it a random mug-ging. But Killian suspects a darker motive and sets out to uncover the truth behind the possible hate crime.
Winner of the Stonewall Society's 2002 Pride in the Arts Literary Award in the Whodunit Category!
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JOSH ATEROVIS
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