by Ive Rogers
“You know I’ve got your back one hundred percent right,” Tamika thought she had to remind me. She didn’t have to. I know if anything goes down, Tamika will be right there.
“Yeah, I know. Thank you,” I told her. Still thinking about my life I began to get emotional. She saw the tears running down my face. Her eyes started to get watery as well. Like I said we are always there for each other.
“Don’t cry, Kas, it’s going to be okay. We are going to get through to this girl,” She leaned over to hold me in her arms to comfort my weeping. All the pain I ever felt, I let out and cried.
“I want to be with my son. I want to go back to my son. I don’t want him to be without me. I’m his mother,” I cried. I was holding it in for too long. I don’t want this life anymore.
“Don’t cry. You are a tough woman, a soldier in disguise. Nobody can break you down Kas. You’re my girl and I love you like you my own sister. Tamika continued to empower me.
Tamika knows I don’t want this life anymore. I do not want to live like this anymore. Sometimes when you get caught up in things, you have to live with it and sometimes it’s hard to leave. You have to sacrifice your life every day to make that dollar. Putting my life at risk, was it worth it? The money is so good, it takes care of all your financial problems like the mortgage, rent, car note, car insurance, shoes, and clothes. The money was so good. After a while you start to feel as though you are living the good life, the high life, being on top of the world. So why stop? I can’t stop now. I’m just getting into my prime. I need more and to hustle more, rob more and steal more. After a while, you feel untouchable. You feel as though you have power. I did all that for dollars, more dollars, and more dollars. I did it for Carmelo, my son. I saved up enough to buy a house for my son and I and enroll him in a private school. I have invested in stocks so when Carmelo gets older and he says he wants to go to college, he’s able to. All he has to do is pick a school and his major. Tuition will be paid in full. He’s not going to need a student loan. I saved up enough money so I can go back to school. I want to go back and get my diploma so I can go to college and get my degree. So I can help people like myself caught up in this shit, become a therapist. It’s time for a change. After all of this, I will make that change. For my son and I, it’s time to change.
“Thank you for everything Tamika. Love you too,” I told her. I had stopped crying.
“You’re welcome. Now when you go in there, keep your cool Kas,” she advised. I will. I pray God will help me get through this alive. It’s weird to hear this coming from me being as though I believe everyone should kiss my ass but I hope everyone makes it out alive and actually changes their lives. Seriously I mean it, no bullshit.
“I am. I’m going to be cool. Don’t worry,” I told her. We gave each other hugs and I got out. This may be the last time I see Tamika. Stop thinking like that, Kassidy. God is watching over you. You are going to make it. I encouraged myself. Now it was time to face reality. Shit’s about to pop.
Chapter 27
Tori
When I saw Auntie Sasha I was excited. Growing up, she was everything my mother wasn’t. She was my guardian angel. My mother was a junky and Auntie Sasha took me under her roof. When I was younger, I was becoming rebellious of what was going on with my mother. I didn’t want to listen. I took my anger out on everyone. My Auntie Sasha took me in before I lost my mind. I’m not going to say that I am a saint because I am not. My behavior played a part in my sister’s death. Her funeral was the other day. She will always be with me forever. I think about her every day. If I had changed my ways days before losing her, she would still be here and so would my little cousin Constance. I’m so sorry is what I would say to them. I wish my sister and my cousin were with me right now. To know that Kassidy was behind Dymond’s death is killing me. I can’t let her get away with it. I understand she is my cousin, but fuck that. When this is over, I am getting out and starting my life over. I saved enough money to start over.
Chanelle and I are on our way to the chambers. She had to call a meeting in the middle of the party, just when I was getting my groove on. I was having fun with my friend Malik. Malik and I had been talking for a few months, but nothing too serious.
Malik and I were outside on the patio alone but towards the side of the house in the cut. Everyone else was inside dancing and getting drunk. We were enjoying each other’s company. He was sitting on the chair and I was facing him sitting on his lap, while his long thick pipe was inside of me. While he planted passion marks on my neck with his soft lips, I rode him softly. His tongue traveled from my neck to in between my breasts. Sucking one and then going to another, I continued to ride him. That’s nothing. I’m use to riding a dick. He stood up and turned me and as he got on his knees my ass was in his face. He ate me out from my ass to my pussy. That’s nothing, I’m used to the affection, porno style shit, you know freaky shit. I love it. He got up and inserted his dick inside me from behind. He stretched my pussy so wide I could have sworn something fell out. I don’t know, I think I am exaggerating. I let out moan after moan. Each moan came out differently. We were not worried about anyone catching up. I felt his cum release inside of me. Or was it mine? See, I am exaggerating again. That’s how good the dick is. This niggah got me dick whipped. Anyway, he is doing his thing, next thing I know his friend John comes outside. I’m thinking he’s going to go back inside, but no he stood there and watched us. Like it’s a fucking porno. I didn’t pay him any attention really, we continued on. So five minutes passed me I noticed him jacking himself. I was like fuck it. I want both of them inside me, doing me at the same damn time. I stopped Malik and went over to John. We started fucking. Malik didn’t say anything. What could he say? He came over and joined in. I had two dudes at the same damn time, what a night to remember. Double pleasure could not get any better.
I haven’t had fun like that in months. Malik and I didn’t always have sex. But the last time I remember doing something crazy was at my friend Monica’s house. She was involved with it as well. I guess you can say I am bisexual. Every now and then I like a female’s touch. Every now and then I like a female’s tongue licking all over my body. Every now and then I like a female’s tongue on my pussy. Every now and then I like to eat a female out. Every now and then I like a female to fuck me with a strap on, and do some porno shit. I’ll talk to my pussy and say “Coochie what’s wrong? You want some? Alright, I’ll get you some,” I really do talk to her. And I can admit some girls are better than guys, especially Monica. She had my pussy dripping that night. Malik just wanted to watch and I let him. Afterwards, we had sex.
“Tori, Tori what the fuck, answer,” Chanelle said. Damn. I had forgotten where I was for a minute. I took my mind out of Fuck Land. But it was fun. I would love to do it again. Next time, I want Malik, John, and Monica. It’ll be four ways.
“What?” I answered. I was thinking about some joyful memories.
“Why did I have to call you like ten times?” she asked as we pulled up beside the chambers.
“Damn, my bad. I was thinking about something. My fault,” I said.
“Why the hell is with her?” she asked heatedly. She was referring to Auntie Sasha. We saw her car. Chanelle hates when Auntie Sasha would creep up on her. Well, if she would stop being so wild and shit, maybe Auntie Sasha would not have to creep up on her. I’m just saying. Auntie Sasha does not bother me. I actually like having her around. Maybe now Chanelle will start to behave like she has some sense. I didn’t get into it with Chanelle about Auntie Sasha being there. We got out of the car and head in.
Chapter 28
Ceyanna
Riding with Paris, Nelly, Kiyah, and Jay Jay to the chambers was a big risk. After breaking into the safe and taking everything, I don’t know, something does not seem right. I feel like something is going to happen. When Chanelle was yelling at us at the party, I thought she was going to shoot somebody. Her eyes were turning red. When Chanelle’s eyes turned red, everyone n
eeds to be alert. Chanelle starts acting crazy, snapping on people, and going fanatical. I thought after we break into the safe we leave, but no. Paris wants to linger around and mingle as if people are cool with her. The only reason why I agreed was because Chanelle does not know what Paris looks like. Then Chanelle kicked everyone out and announced a meeting. Since Chanelle called the meeting, Paris thinks it would be a good time to get to Chanelle. She actually wants to end her life. That’s not what I agreed to. I did enough already with getting them to the safe. Vicious was supposed to help me but she had something to do with Simya.
Nelly promised me she was going to change after all of this. I knew that was a lie. Nelly always says that and I always fall for that. I know stupid me, stupid ole me. I am so stupid. I am so stupid for getting myself caught up in this squad. Joining the squad was the biggest mistake I made in my life, but it was the only option for me at that time. Nelly was doing well until Paris started putting shit back into her heard. I came back to reality when Kiyah’s cell phone rang.
“It’s Tonya,” she announced.
“Okay, so what, we have to tell you to answer it? Kiyah, answer the phone,” Paris said as if Kiyah was dumb. Everyone started laughing.
“Shut up,” She hit the answer button. “Hello,” She greeted Tonya. “Uh, hold on,” Kiyah pushed the speaker button. “You’re on speaker Tonya,” Kiyah said.
“Somebody saw Paris and Kiyah go in through the window,” Tonya informed.
“What?” Kiyah said.
“Nobody was upstairs,” Jay Jay said.
“Who saw us? Nobody saw us,” Paris said.
“Yeah, somebody did. You’re so dumb, do you know that?” Tonya asked. Why do we have to be dumb though? “Didn’t I say watch your back? What the fuck! Get this next part right. Just cap all of them in there, fuck it. I don’t want anybody alive or one of you won’t be alive,” Tonya threatened. We looked at each other and started laughing.
“Who the hell are you, Tonya? You are nobody. Nobody listens to your black ass. If you don’t go head somewhere,” Jay Jay said. We laughed again.
“Who is that, Jay Jay?” Tonya asked. Tonya was getting irritated by Jay Jay.
“Yeah bitch, it’s me. What the fuck do you want,” Jay Jay asked. Jay Jay mouth is the baddest. I thought Kassidy had a nasty mouth. Kassidy’s mouth is nothing compared to Jay Jay’s. Her mouth is ten times worse than Kassidy’s.
“So you think you’re tough now. Your bitch ass better shut up, because you and Camille have it coming,” Tonya threatened. Everybody gave Jay Jay a look. Girl, she’s calling you out.
“Tonya, are you serious? You don’t have hands. Go relax,” Jay Jay said. Everybody started cracking up. “I wish you would try and do some shit,” Jay Jay added. Tonya doesn’t fight with her hands; she fights with her gun.
“Wait till I see you, Jay Jay. I’m going to deal with you real good,” Tonya keeps threatening people. She’ll say that she is coming after you, but it won’t be her. She’ll send someone to do it for her. The bitch acts like she is God.
“That’s if you see us,” Kiyah butt in and hung up the phone.
“Tonya is thrown off. I’m glad my ass is not working with her anymore. I can’t stand her. We always were getting into arguments over something dumb and stupid. The bitch is dumb,” Jay Jay said. We all agreed that Tonya is not going to get her cut of the deal. We heard Kiyah’s cell phone vibrating again. Kiyah threw her phone out the window.
“Bye, bitch,” She said to the phone.
“Tonya can kiss my black ass, to hell with her,” Paris said.
I don’t really bang with these girls, so after this it’s going to be a wrap. When we are done with this, I am ditching them. They probably have a plan to get rid of me as well. Next thing you know my body is found floating in the river.
“Ceyanna,” Paris called me.
“Yeah,” I answered. I still don’t know Paris’ background completely. She does not have a criminal record but does have unpaid parking tickets. That’s all my source was able to find out.
“You know when this is over we are done right? You’re cool and everything but it was just business and nothing personal. You understand how it is. I’m sure you’ve been in something like this. You’re a Philly Ridah,” Paris took the words right out of my mouth that I was about to say. It’s nothing personal. But Paris is a sneaky girl. Of course, she is going to sweet talk me until everything is over and then she is going to switch on me. By then, I’ll be long gone. I am not worried about you.
“It’s cool. I was about to say the same thing,” I told her.
“Alright then! Jay Jay, wake Nelly up,” Paris ordered. She thinks she is the boss. She can take her bossy ass out of my face. We were around the corner from the chambers.
“Are you ready?” Paris asked us. Everyone nodded their head yes as Paris went over the plan to assure everyone was on point.
Chapter 29
Ms. Sasha
As Jezebel and I entered the chambers, everyone was seated waiting to begin. I gave each of the girls a careful look. They all were guilty of something. None of them were innocent. They were all affiliated with some type of drama. When I built this squad it wasn’t like this. I didn’t have to worry about loyalty. I didn’t have to worry about trust. I didn’t have to worry about outsiders possibly coming in. When I built this squad, there was respect. When I built this squad, everyone got along with everyone. Now they can’t stand each other, they want to beat on each other, and sleep with each other’s partners, want to be disloyal to each other. What happened to my squad? They have the audacity to call themselves a squad. I don’t care about the other squads, but this is not what we do. It seems like they forgot what Ms. Sasha said, you know, the one that took them all under her wing. They have changed my rules, disrespected me, and have the nerve to announce all over the city that they are Tha Philly Ridahs. If I didn’t know any better, I would have taken their lives away. I could have got Kareema all those times she would go to the store. I could have got Chanelle all those times she went over to Roc’s house. I could have got Retta all those times she would go get her hair done. I could have got Tori when she hangs out with Malik. I could have got Ceyanna when she went to see Paris. Or whenever I felt like doing it, I could have done it. I spared their lives. I spared their fucking lives. I have a feeling that some of them want to change their lifestyle. Some want to start over. The only way they are leaving is over my dead body. I started this squad out as one team and now look! Everybody changed into their own boss and forgot who the real boss is. It’s me. Ms. Sasha and I am about to make them remember me.
We took our seats inside of the room and we were about to start. I could feel fire rising. They had weapons for protection. These girls had plans of their own for one another. You know what? I am going to sit back and let them murder each other. It’ll be less work for me. They do not know any other ways to resolve a situation than to put a bullet through someone’s brain.
“Hey everybody, we are going to get started with this meeting,” Chanelle said. She sounds so sweet all of a sudden. “As you know, somebody broke into the safe at the party, that’s why I kicked everyone out. I won’t play that shit,” Chanelle announced. She sounds so sincere. I know Chanelle. The girls know Chanelle. She doesn’t mean that shit. Bullshit.
“Who you think did it?” Tori asked.
“I don’t know,” Chanelle answered. I could feel Jezebel nudging me. It was time for me to speak. As I was about to speak, Kareema walks in.
“Sorry I’m late,” She said taking her seat.
“Well damn, where have you been at these last few days?” Chanelle asked her.
“I had to go handle a few things,” Kareema said.
“Alright, anyways, as I was about to say,” Chanelle took a pause to look over her notes.
“Before we go any further, there are a few things I would like to say,” I addressed everyone.
“Go ahead,” Chanelle can take her dis
respectful ass and suck dick like she loves to do.
“From now on, Chanelle will be stepping down and I am taking back control over this squad,” I said. Everyone was shocked. They were so use to Chanelle’s commands since I let her take over while I had to get a few things situated.
“Come again?” Chanelle asked.
“You are no longer running this squad, I am. I didn’t stutter the first time,” I told her.
“Wait, so let me get this straight. Alright, you’re the actual leader and not Chanelle?” Simya asked.
“Bullshit,” Chanelle blurted out. I looked at her as she rolled her eyes. I laughed to myself inside.
“Did you want to say something?” I asked Chanelle directly. She sucked her teeth.
“I like how you think you can run this squad better than me. You really think you can, don’t you,” Chanelle said.
“Watch your mouth, I am still your damn mother,” I yelled. Everyone sat in silence.
“I like that, the whole I am still your mother speech. That’s cute. You know what? Fuck you. Now you want to be a fucking mother?” Chanelle wanted to question my motherhood.