by Chogan Swan
“Well, to help with the gunsights issue, you have an ID card that says you are an ex-military officer on our security team, so you’re allowed to carry concealed weapons while on duty. Oh, yes, and you’re always on duty.” Major handed her a purple ID card with a computer-generated picture of her. Like the passport, it lacked her swirling stripes. “Amber will brief you on the weapons in the SUV’s lockbox. You don't need to memorize your military history. It’s all classified, so you can’t talk about it anyway.”
“Not memorize something? How would I even do that?”
“Oh, right. Never mind. Just don’t talk about it.”
“Talk about what?” She smirked.
“How could I have actually forgotten what a tease you are?”
Tiana patted his arm. “Thank you for providing me with the entertainment.”
She sat on a stool at the granite counter. “Do you have any green persimmons left? I’d like a midnight snack.”
~~~{Jonah}~~~
Jonah knew he was dreaming. As he swam through the sea grass, sparking sensations ran across his face and down his chest as he dipped down and brushed against the fronds. The sparks ran all over his body. As he came out of the grass, a gentle tugging at his ankles turned him over and parted his legs. He looked back. Tiana drifted with him in the current; she smiled. The sparks followed her hands as they moved up his legs to where they joined. His sex rose impossibly large. The lucid part of his mind laughed at the image.
His dreams had been growing more detailed, controllable and filled with colors since Tiana had made the changes in his brain. He knew that in the waking world, she was actually doing something very like what his dream self was experiencing, but he was in no hurry to awaken.
Her lips closed over him, as she worked her mouth and throat muscles.
As she continued to kiss him, he rose towards a climax while she gazed into his eyes.
He waited for his favorite part.
Say it!
The dream Tiana let him slide out of her mouth, switching to caressing with her hands as she smiled at him.
“I love you, Jonah,” she said.
Satisfied, he allowed the dream to dissipate. The final image of her blended with what swam into view as he opened his eyes. The contractions of the orgasm mixed with contentment drawn from her dream words, as she milked him. Her filaments at his prostate encouraged the contractions to empty all.
Jonah smiled, and Tiana winked at him. He cleared his throat. “You could wake me up for this,” he whispered, barely vocalizing.
She pulled her head back and moved up his body to kiss him on the lips.
“You needed your rest,” she said, running her fingers over the nape of his neck where she'd missed a few hairs. “I’ve learned humans need to take their sleep when they can get it during uncertain times. It’s best not to deprive anyone of their dreams.”
Tiana pushed herself up and stood by the bed. “We need to go. I’ll be in the kitchen. I have a few more things to discuss with Max and Major before we leave.”
“I’ll be right there,” Jonah said.
Tiana turned and opened the door.
“Nice duds,” he remarked as she closed the door.
“I know,” she said through the door, a note of delight singing in her voice. “Lovely presents.”
Jonah picked up his clothes. Tiana was right. He shouldn’t deprive himself of his dreams. With time, who knew?
Chapter 10 (A medical opinion)
The sun was three hands above the Atlantic, spilling light across Battery Park through the vine-covered branches and leaves of the ancient Live Oaks standing watch along the water. It threw shifting patterns across the floor of the private balcony where Jonah stretched out on a lounge chair. He took a steaming sip of coffee from a white ceramic mug. A few cyclists and walkers were enjoying the seaside breeze. But, for the most part, Charleston wasn’t awake yet; sleeping in a bit on Saturday morning, he supposed.
Last night, as he’d jockeyed the SUV from Lexington to Lynchburg, Jonah had discovered that—along with interior upgrades and a stiff suspension—it had other features. The rearview mirror caught reflections from the bulletproofed windows, offering a view all the way to the back. Amber was acquainting Tiana with the arsenal in the locker while Jonah drove. He’d checked the mirrors and realized Amber had enjoyed a clear view of everything happening in the back yesterday. What had she made of that? Amber looked up during one of his glances in the mirror. Her slow wink pretty much answered the question.
The stop at his house and the vehicle switch went smoothly.
After that, Tiana had even gotten the chance to try out her new driver’s license on the quiet, two-lane highway between Rockingham and Charleston. When he complimented her on how fast she’d learned to drive, she’d only remarked, “This handles a lot better than those damned Duryeas.”
He’d had to research the reference with his new smartphone.
This morning, Tiana used her new smartphone to find a hotel vacancy—the honeymoon suite at a pricey bed-and-breakfast. Jonah wasn’t sure how they'd checked in without using a credit card. It seemed paying cash for a week’s stay with a large deposit went a long way when business was a little slow.
Jonah yawned and stretched. As he took another sip of coffee, Jerry’s Volvo station wagon pulled up to the curb, blocking the driveway of the vacant mansion across the street. Jerry opened his door, popped a magnetic ‘Medical Emergency’ sign on top of his car and sauntered up to the entrance of their Bed and Breakfast. Jonah smiled and fought his way off the lounge chair and ducked back into the suite.
Tiana was performing meditation exercises on the oak floor. Sunlight from the balcony door spilled across the room and her swirling naked skin as she switched one-armed handstands from one side to the other.
"Jerry will be at the door in a moment,” Jonah said. “I trust him to be confidential about any medical matter, but I don’t think you fall under the HIPPA guidelines. Do you want me to introduce you?”
“Not right away. Tell him you met me recently, we hit it off and are exploring our options. We can do the introductions later. I . . . will be in the shower.” She flipped lightly to her feet and glided into the bathroom.
“Given what we’ll be talking about, he’ll be sure to question the ethics of starting a relationship when my body acts like a Japanese beetle trap for women.”
“Well you could tell him I seem to be immune. Perhaps I have no sense of smell.”
The knock came at the door.
“You’ll think of something,” she said.
The door to their suite rattled as Jerry rapped on it again. Jonah turned from the view through the shower glass and shut the bathroom door. When he answered the knock, Jerry grabbed him for a quick hug then pulled out a tongue depressor and pointed it at him. “Okay, cousin, you’d better tell me what’s up now. I have a tongue depressor and I’m not afraid to use it. Hey, nice room. Who’s in the shower? Oooooh! Do I get to meet her? She’s mentally deranged, right? She’d have to be, going out with you.”
“When we get back," said Jonah, holding up his hands. "No meetings at the moment, I’m afraid. Come on Jerry. Can we take your car?”
“I suppose so, but I haven’t made a house call in. . . You know, I’ve never made a house call. I was hoping to savor it for a few minutes.”
“You can savor it with some coffee downstairs.”
“Okay, we can catch up for a bit while I enjoy the dining room. The Tiffany window should be worth contemplation, not to mention a helluva lot of money. But, I gotta say, I’m surprised you’re here in a classy place like this. This girl must be something special. You’ve always been more of a tent-camping-in-the-wilderness-vacation kind of guy.”
“Well Jerry, everyone is special,” Jonah said, chuckling as he trotted down the curving staircase.
On the way down, they passed two women coming in the door with their arms full of shopping bags that proclaimed to the world that th
ey had been shopping at A*N*N*E*S.
Jonah and Jerry grabbed cups and filled them from the coffee dispenser on the credenza. The dining room was empty. Jerry plopped down at an empty table and stirred cream into his coffee. Jonah sat across from him with his back to the wall.
“Well, Jonah, you don’t look ill or anything,” said Jerry. “You are what? Seven years older than me? I guess Skype doesn’t catch everything. I haven’t seen you in person for a couple of years and you look younger than you did then. You’re obviously still working out and you look good, so what is this health matter you want to discuss?”
Jonah glanced back at the entrance. “I think you are about to see.”
The women they’d passed were still by the door looking at him. They dropped their bags, grabbed cups, sloshed coffee into them and sauntered towards him, making eye contact.
“Excuse us. Can we sit here?” said the taller one. She pushed her blonde ponytail behind her shoulder and smiled at Jonah, displaying perfect teeth.
Jerry turned, startled.
Jonah stood, “Certainly, a pleasure. I’m Jonah; this is my cousin, Jerry.”
“I'm Sandra; and this is Taylor.” She leaned down to put her cup on the table, displaying perfect cleavage. Taylor seated herself and edged her chair closer to the table, moving it towards Jonah. Jonah spotted the indentations from wedding bands on their ring fingers.
Jerry stood belatedly and pulled the chair out for Sandra. “Err, successful shopping trip?” he ventured.
“It was okay,” said Taylor, “but we’re tired of shopping and we were feeling like talking to someone.” Taylor moved closer to Jonah. “Would you like to come to our room and… talk? Your cousin can come too.” She leaned into Jonah and put her hand on his leg. “We’d love some company.”
“Love some,” echoed Sandra from his other side.
Jonah looked across the table at Jerry who looked like a deer in the headlights. Jonah turned to Taylor. “I appreciate the invitation. You both seem very nice . . . to talk to, but I have an appointment with my doctor and we need to go.”
“Yes,” Jerry said, standing. “We really must be going. Ladies, it was a pleasure.”
Jonah stood. For a moment, he was unsure either of them were going to move out of his way then realized they were both hoping for body contact. He tried to squeeze past Sandra, but she leaned in and brushed her hand across his crotch. “Maybe we can talk later,” she said.
Jonah smiled at her and followed Jerry to his car.
Jonah closed the car door as Jerry stared at him. “What the hell was that?” said Jerry.
“Welcome to my life,” Jonah said, “where every day is Sadie Hawkins day.”
Jerry stared at him. “I can’t decide whether to feel sorry for you or accuse you of pulling my leg. Is this pay back for the time I spied on you and Judy then dumped water on you both when you were kissing under the balcony?”
“Ha! You were a kid; we were teenagers. Besides, I already got you back for that.”
“You what?”
“Yep, remember what happened to the seat of your tux when you were dancing at Micah’s wedding?”
“You?”
“Oh yeah. All me. I made sure a thread from the rear seam dangled from the leg and paid the ring bearer a dollar to step on it while you danced with Wendy.”
Jerry stared at him then he burst out laughing. “Oh, gods! That was hilarious. I was wearing those heart boxers, and … and you handed me your coat to cover my butt. . . I’m inspired. . . “
Jonah smiled while Jerry pounded the steering wheel, choking with laughter.
At last he sat quiet. “So, this isn’t a put on?” he said.
“I wish it was, but test it. Take me somewhere I couldn’t possibly set something up and watch.”
“Okay, challenge accepted. But I gotta say, cuz, if this is true, God or someone has played the ultimate practical joke on you.” Jerry paused and raised his finger in the air. “But maybe we’re going about this the wrong way. Should we be trying to figure out how to bottle the effect?”
“Sorry Jerry,” Jonah said, “Not gonna happen.”
“What about your new friend, was she attracted to you because of this?”
“It doesn’t affect everyone, and she seems to be immune to it. Also, we met before it started. But it does affect most women and seriously gets in the way of life.”
“Can’t be easy on her either,” Jerry said, raising his eyebrows.
“You have no idea.”
“She wouldn’t be human if it didn’t bother her,” said Jerry.
Jonah snorted, finding it almost impossible not to laugh in hysterics.
It didn’t take Jerry long to be convinced—only a couple of grocery stores. But, he was curious and wanted to study the effect. He insisted on observing wind direction to confirm that it was because of Jonah’s smell. When he started surveying the women, Jonah put an end to the research. He grabbed Jerry’s keys and pulled the car away from the curb. Jerry had to stop talking to the women’s soccer team to run after the Volvo.
“It’s incredible,” he said, still panting from chasing the car down the road. “Some were affected more, some less, only one not at all. You are a chick magnet. It’s actually sort of scary.”
“You should see it from this end,” muttered Jonah.
“Tempting, tempting, if I weren’t married, I might steal your t-shirts and wear them to a single’s bar. But, I will write you a letter, suitably vague, that should keep you working from home. You’ll have to talk with a lawyer about getting a disability rating though.”
Jonah laughed. “It so happens that I’ve recently become acquainted with some very good ones.”
As they were pulling up to the bed-and-breakfast, Jerry crowed, “Hey! You could try it on Sylvex. Remarry her then divorce again. This time without alimony.”
“Yeah, and have nightmares the rest of my life from having to consummate the marriage.”
“Well then, you could give your magic t-shirts to the dirt bag who’s in love with her, the one she keeps stringing along . . . and he could marry her.”
Jonah had started to open the driver-side door, but turned to stare at Jerry. “That is the most . . . underhanded, devious . . . tempting thing I’ve ever heard in my life. I wonder … it may not even work with a t-shirt.”
Jonah got out of the car. Tiana was coming down the steps. She’d been blending the color of the skin on her face to an even rose-chocolate hue, but tiny stripes still showed in direct sunlight. Jonah mourned the change, but had to admit the need for it.
She kissed Jonah, just a peck on the lips, then turned to Jerry, “You must be Jerry, I’m Adrianna Archer, but my friends call me Tiana. It’s a pleasure to meet you.” Tiana held out her hand, covered in half-finger lace gloves. “I’ve heard so much about you and your heart-decorated boxer shorts,” she said as Jerry shook her hand.
Jerry laughed. “Am I the last person in the world to know, Jonah?”
“I’m reasonably sure at least three billion people in Asia are clueless about the event.”
Tiana’s musical laugh rolled out of her. “Don’t worry, Jerry. It’s a great story and you should feel good about bringing laughter to so many.” She turned to Jonah. “What won’t work with a t-shirt?”
Jonah smiled, knowing full well she'd overheard the whole conversation. “A guy that lives in the duplex with my ex has been trying to land her since before she even left me. Turns out, they jointly own the property together through a corporation comprised of him, her and her mother. Jerry suggests we set him up with t-shirts impregnated with essence-of-Jonah to convince her to marry him.”
“I’ll get plastic bags to send some to Max. He can start working on it.” Tiana laughed. “Let’s get a few dozen pairs of boxer shorts with hearts on them too.”
She turned to Jerry, now bent over laughing, hands on his knees to keep from falling over.
“Oh my,” she said to Jonah. “Is he going to
be okay?”
“Well, they say that laughter is the best medicine,” Jonah said. “But I suppose you could ask him for a second opinion on that when he stops.”
“Perhaps we should try to move him into the shade.”
“Stop,” begged Jerry. “You’re killing me.”
“There you have it,” Jonah said. “Dr. Brandyr has concluded that laughter is not the best medicine.”
“Catch him, Jonah.”
Jonah reached over to steady Jerry as he sunk to his knees. He took Jerry’s arm and put it over his shoulder to hoist his cousin to his feet then started dragging him up the stairs of the shady porch.
“No, don’t get me wrong,” said Jerry, still gasping. “It’s great medicine; I just exceeded the prescribed amount.” He went into further paroxysms.
“He’s clearly a danger to himself,” Tiana said, eyes twinkling. “An addict if I ever saw one. They say prescription medicine is the most common addiction among medical personnel.”
“Ah, ha ha ha ha! Ow! Ow! Ow! Stomach hurts.”
“Oh! perhaps some brunch then. I had food brought up to our suite from the breakfast buffet.”
“Food? I’m cured,” said Jerry, standing on his own and walking up the steps himself, though he did wobble a bit on the way through the door.
The honeymoon suite’s table had been moved to the space in front of the balcony, already set with serving plates covered with pewter domes and quilted plate cozies. Jerry, first to the table, lifted one of the covers and peeked beneath it. “I have no idea what that is.”
“Tiana has a special diet,” Jonah said. “That’s her plate.”
Tiana tapped the plate at the other end of the table. “This one’s yours, Jerry.” She lifted the cozy to reveal a steaming platter of fried eggs, crispy corned beef hash and bacon.
Jerry laughed. “Now you’re talking.” He put the cover back on Tiana’s plate and hurried to the other side, but waited for her to sit before taking his seat.
Jonah smiled. Aunt Betty had worked hard to make sure her boy would act like a gentleman in social settings. No matter how outrageous Jerry might be, Jonah couldn’t remember him ever doing anything that would have embarrassed his mom at the table. Jonah took his seat too.