by Julia Donner
Before she could express her own feelings on the matter, a servant came through with a silver salver. He stopped by Lady Asterly’s chair with a bow. “Your ladyship, a caller.”
She glowered at the card on the salver and muttered, “At this time of day?” She read the name without touching it and said to the footman, “Put him where the unwanted callers are sent.”
After the footman had bowed and left, Asterly asked, “It is something Crimm can attend to?”
Sending her husband a meaningful glance, Lady Asterly said, “Unfortunately, no.”
Trepidation closed off Allison’s throat when Lady Asterly turned her dissatisfied gaze her way. “The caller is yours. A Lord Mofrett is asking for you. Shall I tell him you’re not at home?”
Panic washed the room white. When her sight came back into focus, she saw concerned but not worrisome expressions on their faces. She had somehow concealed her fright from the Asterlys, but Cameron wore a concerned scowl.
Terror swelled, squeezing the air from her chest. They must not speak to the caller. She pushed back her chair and stood. “Please, pray excuse me. I shall attend to this.”
Everyone stood, staring at her forced calm, while the escalating fear she held inside screamed for her to escape. Forcing herself not to run, she headed for the door. Cameron caught her arm before she could escape.
“Allison, what is it?”
Terror made her sound furious. “Nothing for you to concern yourself about. I shall handle this.”
She regretted that she sounded so rude but couldn’t help it. Her plan for running away, out of the house, anywhere but the vicinity of the vestibule receiving room, was foiled when Lord and Lady Asterly joined Cameron at the door. “We will go with you. In your state, you cannot go alone.”
“I assure you, I am quite well. Please allow me to see to this.” The sharpness of her tone revealed inner strain. When Cameron started to follow her out, Allison halted. “No. You must not.”
“But, Allison—”
“No, Cameron! Please, wait here.”
His features settled into a hardness she’d never imagined he could present, but with a sharp nod, he agreed. Asterly took his wife’s arm as they went out, but instead of quitting the breakfast room, they went toward the vestibule. They meant to investigate and her alarm sent her quickly after them.
Her stomach roiled, twisting. She clenched her fists, willing the panic to subside. It had been years. He shouldn’t still influence her after so long. Inside, the urge to scream threatened to erupt. She couldn’t face their loathing after they heard the truth. She pictured herself tossed out, standing on the curb within the next hour.
Scrambling to think clearly, she realized that she had enough coins to pay for a seat to Callander. She would have to write a note to Lady Collyns about the change in plans. Her whirling brain came to an abrupt halt when she stood in front of a door Crimm held open. The butler wore his displeased mask.
Resignation calmed the fear. At least it would be over soon. This interview would take only a few minutes. In an hour or two, she would be far from here, heading for her safe cottage in Scotland, hoping the scandal wouldn’t follow her there. When Emily and Sir Hugh learned the truth, would they remain her friends?
Lord Asterly’s touch on her arm prompted her to enter.
Chapter 18
She recognized his smell before she fully comprehended how her father had aged, his face fleshier, his hair thinned. His posture and arrogant sneer had not.
The present dissolved into the past—the drawing room, the day itself, all swept away by his scent. A Parisian perfumer concocted the mixture especially for him, a blend of ambergris and spices, pungent and exotic. The perfume evoked images of luxurious rooms in an Eastern harem or the redolent aromas of baking with cloves and cinnamon. A whiff hurtled her back to her youth, to the misery of parental belittlement.
What little access she’d had to him involved crushing humiliation. Every instance had been a resurrection of confusion as to what she had done to cause him to dislike her. Even now, he refused to look directly at her, as if she were a sight too loathsome to look upon. Since as far back as she could remember, she preferred if he would beat her, but he hadn’t. He ordered others to use a cane on her hands or back, but she would rather have been given any sort of punishment, other than his usual—words that tore down her spirit.
Ignoring her, he exchanged the usual pleasantries with Lord and Lady Asterly, then revealed how little his attitude had changed. He refused to look directly at her. He regarded the air above her shoulder, saying with the chilling scorn she’d never been able to purge from memory, “I’ve no idea why you should feel yourself entitled to once again ruin our family name, Alis. You may be the method of your own ruination, but do not presume to think the family has forgotten the shame you flooded over our heads. There will be no repetition.”
Her father expected no acknowledgement of this statement. She had never been allowed to respond. His only expectation had always been her immediate obedience. She lowered her gaze but not before she’d seen Lord and Lady Asterly’s reactions. It was nothing more than what she expected. They and the world only knew her father socially, nothing about what transpired within the intimacy of family. A wave of sadness rolled through her. Intimacy was not a word to use in any form when describing the DeVilliers family. There was only cruelty and barren selfishness.
The reasons why she’d fled with Albert came rushing back. Even if she could have seen the future misery that flight would entail, she would make the same choice today.
Beyond the complete humiliation of this moment, she wrestled with her father’s actual presence back in her life. The dread of living under his power bloomed afresh, but greater embarrassment came from the connection. Her mother was little better. She’d seen less of her than her father. There were times when her mother’s utter disinterest was more painful than her father’s inexplicable aversion.
If only she had stayed away from London and never left her cottage in the village. Loneliness, censure, anything was preferable to losing face in front of Lord and Lady Asterly, who thought well of her. Had thought well of her before this day.
Her earlier glance at their expressions sank her hopes. Lady Asterly’s clever gaze had taken on a coldness that frightened as much as shamed. Lord Asterly had become an austere stranger, aloof with the suggestion of menace in his stance. They could only feel revulsion, and at the very least, disgust for her to have brought into their house a scene so disturbing. She bit the inside of her cheek and blinked rapidly to hold back the tears.
A warm touch on her hand made her flinch. A stronger grip took her other hand, and she realized that Lord and Lady Asterly had moved to stand on either side. Realization flushed through her, washing away bewilderment. They meant to protect her, not evict her. Fresh tears burned her eyes. What had she done to deserve this kindness? Such wonderful people, everything her family was not.
Asterly’s grip increased when her father demanded, “Well, Alis? Have you nothing to say for yourself?”
She opened her mouth to answer and nothing came out. She’d been clenching her teeth so tightly that her throat had constricted. When Asterly started to speak, Allison tugged her hand free to forestall their intervention.
“Father, perhaps we could continue this discussion in private. In another room.”
Lady Asterly said, her meaning clear, “I shouldn’t think that necessary, my dear. Morfett may say what he’s come to say, then take his leave. Preferably soon.”
Her father wasn’t accustomed to having his wishes thwarted, but was canny enough not to interfere with the Asterlys. When Allison forced herself to look up from the glossy floorboards, she noticed again how her father had aged. The revulsion in his gaze for his only child had not.
Unable to relax the tightness from her voice, Allison said, “Lord and Lady Asterly, it is indeed kind of you to offer the support of your presence, but I do not wish for you to suffer
discomfort. I should like to take this up with Father in private.”
The door opened. Her heart plummeted to her shoes. Cameron stood in the threshold. “Beg your pardon,” he said with an apologetic grin. “I was told Mrs. Davidson was in here.”
Other than a glance over his shoulder, Lord Morfett dismissed the interruption with a snide laugh. “Davidson? Is that what she’s calling herself?”
Allison’s heart stilled when Cameron’s expression changed. Good humor fled, firming his lips. His laughing eyes narrowed, then sent a glare of blazing outrage on her father. An ache spread through her chest from the sight of her kindhearted Cameron changing into someone unrecognizable, tainted by the ugliness that was her family. And he hadn’t seen Lord Morfett at his worst, or best, standing over her, shouting vile and vulgar ridicule, slicing insults as she cowered on the floor.
Memories crowded inside her head. She dug her nails into her palms and shoved them away, back into the dark corners of her mind. The scream trapped inside roiled from the need to shriek at them to leave the room before her father unleashed the brunt of his venom. These people—people she admired and dared to call friends—did not deserve this. She pulled free of the hands trying to offer her support, preferring to separate them somehow from the evil she’d brought into their lives. If she could get them to leave, her father wouldn’t follow. He would stay and revile her, destroy her character until she once again promised to stay out of sight.
When she attempted to put space between herself and the Asterlys, she found her way blocked. Cameron had come into the room to stand slightly in front of her. She dared not look up and see his disappointment in her. He would stand her friend, but she would be diminished in his estimation. That must be dealt with, and she would, but later, not now.
What little courage she’d managed to find lifted her head. His visage in profile held a fierceness that made her instinctively step back. So, this was the man who survived torture, slavery and sea battles. There was no sign of her tender friend. He’d become no one trifled with, a creature capable of vengeance.
Cameron said in the guttural voice she’d heard defending her at the bookstore, “Whoever you are, leave. Now. Before I make you gone.”
From the corner of her eye, Allison saw Asterly draw his wife aside. In an undertone, he said, “Squid, this fellow is no friend of mine. He’s come to cause trouble. I give you leave to do your will.”
Allison cringed at Cameron’s slow smile, the threat issued when he said to her father, “Your choice. Depart in peace or I shall make your leave taking swift and painful.”
Unimpressed, her father’s upper lip twitched with an exaggerated sneer. “Am I to be moved by some common ruffian? You have no place here, sirrah.”
Cameron’s hand moved to his hip where there was no sword. “Neither do you.”
“That is my unfortunate, ungrateful offspring you so foolishly champion. And I had thought better of you, Asterly. You and your wife are touted as so clever, but not enough, apparently. You allowed that female into your sphere. She will do naught but bring you heartache and disgrace. Am I not correct, Alis?”
Allison confronted him, shivering with accumulated outrage and fury. It was one thing to inflict insult on her, but she would not allow the callousness of his conceit to cause Cameron or the Asterlys a moment’s distress.
Cameron’s fingers curled around her arm when she stepped forward. “Father, I advise you to do as Lieutenant Bradford suggests. You’ve had your pleasure of vilifying me, but these fine people have no reason to tolerate you. Say what you will and go!”
His face mottled and dark, Lord Morfett advanced, a clenched fist raised, but a movement behind her stopped him. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw the glint of a blade in Cameron’s hand.
Furious to be denied the cuff he’d planned to deal her, her father lifted his chin and announced, “I warn you, Alis, do not go out into society. Do not show yourself in public. You have done irreparable damage to the family name. Leave us and your reputation where it should be, in the gutter. Anywhere but in polite company. I’ve no idea how you tricked Lord and Lady Asterly, but no one else will invite you into their company and no man will have you.”
An arm encircled her waist, drawing her backward into Cameron’s chest. His words, his vehemence vibrated across her shoulders and rippled down her spine. “You’re wrong about that. This man wants her. She has accepted my hand. As her affianced, I’m telling you to never see or speak to us. Now, do I remove you or will you leave?”
“Begging your pardon,” said Crimm from the doorway. Two footmen stood behind him. One held her father’s hat and cane. “Lieutenant Bradford, we should be happy to assist you in that endeavor if her ladyship and my lord should so desire.”
A silent gesture must have been given by Lady Asterly, since Crimm stepped aside to allow two footmen to enter. Her father choked back a remark. He reached out to snatch his hat and cane from Crimm, but the butler swiftly shifted them behind his back.
“Lord Morfett, your conveyance is waiting. I’ve been given leave to inform you that in future Lord and Lady Asterly will not be at home when you call.”
Hat and cane were thrust at her father, who grabbed them and strode from the room. Warmth left her back when Cameron swiftly followed. Terrified of what her father might tell him, she yearned to call him, but she doubted she could speak. It took all of her will not to break down. She almost caved when Asterly gently took her by the arm and led her to the nearest couch. Strength flooded from her being. She sank down on the cushion, her entire body shaking.
With a swish of expensive material, Lady Asterly sat next to her and encased Allison’s cold hands within her own, softly saying, “Peregrine, would you leave us? Make sure Cameron doesn’t dismember that lout, and have Crimm bring something bracing.” She waited for the door to softly close before saying, “So, you are Lady Alis DeVilliers.”
Chapter 19
Allison threaded her fingers together on her lap, willing the shivering to stop. She dared to look up, and instead of freezing condescension, she discovered sympathy with a hint of humor in Lady Asterly’s hazel gaze.
“Allison…or should I address you as Lady Alis?”
“Please, I want no association with the name of DeVilliers. It has nothing to do with my father’s decree. My parents are unpleasant in the extreme, as you have so recently witnessed.”
“Ah, well, as it is so often said, we cannot choose our relatives. It also appears that we cannot get them out of our lives either. I had the same difficulty at one time with my first husband’s parents. And before you start worrying about Cameron dissecting that cretin, Asterly will forestall that. Or at the very least, have it done in an alleyway where it cannot be seen.”
“You are joking, ma’am. I appreciate that.”
Lady Asterly pursed into a thoughtful moue. “Perhaps not too far off the mark.”
Noting the alarm created by that response, she patted Allison’s hand and added, “You might consider the fact that they are military men. Both are conditioned to act, not to bow and offer a clever quip as a deterrent or response to an impertinence.”
“Perhaps I should take that into account, but I didn’t realize that Cameron carried a weapon on his person.”
“Cameron doesn’t. That was my husband’s stiletto. He keeps it in his right boot. Allison, you are blinking at me as if I’d dealt you a slap. They are military men. Recall what happened to the idiots who assaulted Cameron on the road to Rolands. They may have knocked him unconscious but they barely escaped alive.”
“I’d forgotten that. He’s so kind and gentle.”
“That does not mean he can’t be provoked. Consider what your response would be if someone threatened Cameron. I can see by that scowl that you would have something to say about that. To be frank, I know you would be kinder than I. There is no leniency in my nature when it comes to protecting my own. Now, would you care for a glass of wine or port to settle your nerves?
”
“I thank you, no, but I will beg your leave. I mustn’t stay here. There is no telling what Father will do, and I won’t have you and Lord Asterly discommoded.”
After a silence, Lady Asterly said, soft and sad, “You are planning to run, as far away as you can. Back to Scotland?”
“Why…how did you know?”
“It would be my first instinct, but you must not. You will break Cameron’s heart and more importantly, Harry and Olivia will scold me for letting you do it and not return to Rolands.”
Allison pressed a hand to her brow. “The coach and drivers. I forgot about that, also. Well, there is nothing for it. I will send them back to Rolands with a letter absolving you and delaying my return. Lady Collyns will not deliver for another month.”
“Allison, you must face this. Deal with it. Do not run away.”
“There is no dealing with it. Father will never change. Neither will my mother. Why they hate me so I will never understand.”
“Won’t you? Perhaps you are too close to it.”
“My lady, are you saying that you understand…somehow know why I am so abhorrent to them?”
“Allison, do you have any siblings?”
“No.”
“So your father has no heir.”
“There are cousins.”
“Yes, but he has no son of his own.”
“No, only me. I have always supposed that it is because I was a disappointment, not being a male.”
Lady Asterly took one of Allison’s hands in her own. “No, I think it is because you are the reminder that he cannot provide an offspring.”
Incredulous, Allison gaped, then asked, “Are you saying that you have knowledge that I am adopted?”
“Certainly not. I believe that you are your mother’s child. From a liaison, if you will.”