by Debra Dunbar
“It’s almost ready, Cockroach. I don’t want to take these elves there and not have adequate food and shelter for them. The goal isn’t to throw them into a primitive world, but to teach them to live among the humans. That means modern communication systems, the ability for monetary transfers like in banks and ATMs, commerce using human money, and human means of conveyance.”
“They’ll burn up in a car,” I warned.
“Not all cars. Ones with carbon fiber, or aluminum, or carefully shielded steel are fine. They’ll need to learn how to recognize and avoid certain metals too. Things like parking meters or certain tools are going to be a problem.”
No shit. “When? When, Asshole? Because I’ve got the county breathing down my neck, giving me citations for gatherings over twenty people without proper permitting, and a zoning violation for running a campground illegally. And if that’s not enough, I caught a vampire sneaking around yesterday. I called Juan, but he insists the vamp isn’t one of his. We lost one elf to those fanged motherfuckers already. I don’t want to lose any more. And I don’t want a war on my property when the elves start to fight back.”
“How is Lysile?” Gregory nodded toward the stairway. The elf woman had slept for nearly fourteen hours and was now eating like a bear coming out of hibernation. She still had marks that I wasn’t sure would ever fully heal, but at least she was warm again with a pink tint to her skin that hadn’t been there the night before.
“She’s better. But the county zoning—”
“If anyone can wiggle out of zoning and permitting regulations, it’s you,” Gregory interrupted. “You’ve done it for years with your rental properties, and you’ve been pretty successful at avoiding citations at the Ruling Council level too. You’ll do fine.”
Right. I had managed to avoid the worst fines with my rental properties, although some asshole at the state level was still trying to fine me hundreds of dollars for non-compliance with lead testing and registration bullshit. Fuck him. And fuck his laws too.
“As I remember, avoiding citations from the Ruling Council wasn’t one of my strong points. I spent quite a lot of time naked and restrained in Aaru,” I reminded him.
He smirked. “Not nearly enough.”
Yeah, having him by me was one of the perks of my jail time in Aaru. And the last few incarceration periods, we’d passed the time by having lots of sex. Angel sex, since I had no body during my punishment, but still sex.
I’d miss that. As much as I complained about wanting to have physical sex with him, I’d grown to love the angel equivalent. Yes, we could do it here, but one of us needed to keep a toe-hold in the physical world in order to not die. And sex was far more fun when both parties could perform with abandon, without worries about shredding our spirit selves into nothingness.
“Back to the elves—when is this island going to be ready?”
Gregory sighed. “Give me two more days.”
I grumbled. I didn’t have two more days. Thankfully now that Nyalla had brought Boomer back, I had two hybrids to patrol the perimeters of my property. Neither my hellhound nor Diablo were fond of vampires, it seems. And Little Red seemed to like the elves well enough to defend them—although I’d needed to specify that defense was to be only against the vampires and not the county officials or the neighbors—both of whom were prowling around my property today and taking pictures.
I wondered if it was against my zoning to have a dragon? I was zoned agricultural, after all.
“Okay. Just hurry the fuck up.”
Gregory smiled and tugged at a strand of my hair. “As fast as an archangel can work, my dear. And how is my demon army coming along?”
“About as fast as your island,” I grumbled. Actually, I had no idea. I’d tried to communicate with my household a few times, but the Lows seemed unable to properly work the communication mirrors and all I got was a series of shouts, yells, and a noise that sounded like they were rubbing body parts against the mirror. Blech. I’d need to go back and see if any of them were able to scare up a decent army in the last day. And check on how my dwarven weapons were coming along.
“Excellent!” Gregory clapped his hands together, my sarcasm going right over his head. “How many legions should I expect? I suppose you’ve chosen mainly war demons? Although a dozen or so imps would be a useful cadre. No sloth demons, I hope.”
I didn’t have the heart to tell him I might have a dozen Lows, a couple Imps, and a war demon or two if any of them were available. Legions? I didn’t even know how many demons that was supposed to be.
“Yes. Probably four legions at least. I kept away from Ancients thinking they’d just be trouble and kept to greed and war demons as well as those skilled in the sin of pride. Bragging rights, you know.”
I could never lie to Gregory. His dark eyes stared into mine. “So five? I’m guessing you’ll be bringing five Lows.”
“Maybe a dozen,” I admitted. “I have hopes though. I’m going to head back to Hel today and see what my household has managed to pull together. The good news is that even if we’re fighting with Lows, they will be well-appointed Lows. I made a deal with a dwarven smith and we’ll have some decent weapons that should be able to hold up to the weird non-corporeal conditions of Aaru.”
“Dwarven steel,” Gregory mused. “Wonderful idea, Cockroach. I’m proud of you. The angels won’t expect that at all. It will definitely give us an advantage.”
Probably not enough of an advantage to outweigh the fact that I might be fighting with Lows. Maybe we could armor them somehow?
“Even if I have a dozen Lows, I’m not sure how I’m going to transport them to Aaru,” I confessed. “I really struggled to haul those elves to Hel. I ended up making several trips because I couldn’t manage more than three at a time.”
“Why can’t you?”
What did he mean? “I don’t know why, I just can’t. I tried to take the six elves in Iceland along with the car I’d stuffed them in and nothing happened. In France when I tried to take six at once, nothing happened. The best I could do was three.”
The angel’s eyebrows scrunched together. “It shouldn’t matter how many you’re taking. One, one hundred, one thousand. Technically speaking, you’re opening a small, temporary gateway. The effort is in opening the gateway to teleport, not actually moving the individuals through it.”
“I tried. It didn’t work. And I’m not looking forward to transporting a bunch of Lows to Aaru three at a time.”
“This is all in your head, Cockroach. It shouldn’t matter.”
I was getting frustrated with this discussion. “It does matter. I tried. I can’t.”
“You can.”
I smacked my coffee cup on the counter. “Then show me how, or tell me the secret, because I’m not able to do it.”
Gregory sighed. “You transported your little dragon, didn’t you?”
“Yes—”
“And he weighs about the equivalent of ten to fifteen elves. How do you explain your ability to easily transport a two thousand pound dragon, but not a dozen elves, or six elves in a small sedan?”
“I don’t know. It’s quantity, not weight or size. I just can’t do it.” His words made me think, though. Little Red weighed about the same as a car. Gregory was right. There honestly wasn’t any reason why I shouldn’t be able to transport multiple demons, or elves. Was it all in my head as he’d suggested?
The angel took my arm and led me outside past the pool patio and to the strip of grass in front of my stables. “There. Take them to Hel and then bring them back.”
I stared at the ground where he was pointing. It was a pile of disturbed dirt with a swarm of ants dragging twigs and leaves toward their home.
“Eww. I’m not touching them.” I really wasn’t fond of ants. They were fast and tickly and even though these were of the harmless common variety, I couldn’t help but think of the agressive fire ants.
Gregory rolled his eyes. “You’re a Cockroach, but you won’t touch
ants?”
It didn’t make sense. But yes, I didn’t want to touch the ants.
“Fine.” He threw up his hands. “Don’t touch them. Just take them to Hel and back. No need to have any of them in contact with your skin.”
I didn’t see where he was going with this, but I did it, popping briefly into Patchine then back.
“How many ants did you transport?” Gregory asked.
I looked down at the ground where the little black specks were weaving around drunkenly and stumbling onto their sides. “Umm, thirty? Fifty? It’s hard to count them when they’re running around like that.”
“Thirty-six. And you didn’t even touch them. See? It’s not the quantity, and it’s not weight.”
“Yes, but…people.” I shrugged. “Okay. I don’t get it. I can teleport thirty-six ants. I can teleport a two thousand pound baby dragon. I can’t teleport a dozen elves.”
“Yes you can.” Gregory marched across my pasture toward the grouping of tents. The elves stopped what they were doing and gathered round, staring at the angel with big eyes. “Take six of them to Hel.”
The elves shrieked and wailed.
“And bring them back.” Gregory waved a reassuring hand. “She’s going to bring you back. This is just practice.”
I don’t think the elves were all that thrilled about being my test subjects. A few of them slowly edged backward and around the sides of tents, trying to hide. I started out in my comfort zone, transporting three with me to Hel and back. They were dizzy and pale when we reappeared in my pasture, but none the worse for our trip.
Four. It was difficult. I had to concentrate, to feel each one of them inside my mind as I brought them with me through the gateway. When we returned, I was also dizzy and pale, feeling like I was going to barf in the grass.
“I can’t do it,” I told Gregory. I wanted to do it—really, I did. If I could manage this, I was one step closer to sending others to locations without me, or bringing them to me from a specific point. And I was one step closer to creating a gateway—more than a temporary one, anyway.
“You can,” Gregory insisted. “You grouped the ants together when you sent them. You weren’t thinking of them as individuals, but rather as a group. You need to do that with these elves. That should help you to overcome this obstacle.”
A lightbulb went off. He was right. When I teleported Little Red, I didn’t think of how big he was, but of him as an individual. I’d been transporting individuals, and with that method, there was only so many I could hold in my mind. But a group… I hadn’t even known how many ants I’d brought to and from Hel. I’d just grabbed them as a group.
I closed my eyes to concentrate and envisioned the dozen elves in front of me as one unit. When I opened my eyes, the red sands of Hel stretched before me, the city of Patchine in the distance.
“Take us back,” one of the elves whispered. They were huddled together, looking at me as if they expected me to abandon them here in the heat of Hel.
When we arrived back, I counted just to make sure and was relieved to find out that I’d managed a dozen elves without accidently leaving any of them behind in Hel. And I wasn’t puking in the grass either.
“Nicely done, Cockroach.”
I basked in the warm glow of Gregory’s approval. But moving a dozen elves was not quite the same as moving an army of demons. I’d need to get them to Aaru, and then be able to extract them possibly without them grouped together or even knowing exactly where some of them were.
And I expected to have more than a dozen. I crossed my fingers, and hoped that my Lows had come through and managed to get a decent number of reasonably skilled demons for my army, otherwise this new skill was going to go to waste.
Chapter 21
What have you got for me?”
My Lows stood at attention, occasionally elbowing each other.
“Three greed demons,” Pustule announced. “But they want to know what’s in it for them. Do the angels have treasure or riches they can steal when they’re up there? Because otherwise you’ll need to pay them.”
Ugh. I hated greed demons. “No payment for this mission, but tell them they can keep whatever they take off the angels they kill.”
Little did they realize that the angels would be incorporeal, and unlikely to have anything that actually could be stolen. Oh well.
“I’ve got three imps, but they may not show up,” Barf chimed in. “Depends on what they’re doing at the particular time that you need them. The battle sounded fun to them, but you know that imps don’t have the greatest of attention spans.”
Understatement of the year. “Anyone else?”
“Thirty Lows,” Squeal said. “They’re pretty good at sneaking around, and some of them can spit acid. When I told them you’d have dwarven-made swords or knives for those who fought, they were ready to go.”
“Five warmongers,” Snip said. “They’re totally in on this. You say the word and they’re there. Anything to say they killed an angel. And they all wanted to know if they could cut off the wings and bring them back.”
I winced at the thought. Damn, that would hurt like fuck. “Only if the angels are dead.” There was no way I would wish a live de-winging on even my worst enemy. Well, maybe my worst enemy, but not the run-of-the-mill enemies.
“I’ve got two Ancients,” Whistle added.
Everyone erupted into a deafening series of slurs on Whistle’s parentage, punching him and kicking him.
“We’re not supposed to get Ancients, fucking idiot,” Snip told him, throwing a well-placed punch into the Low’s long nose.
Whistle squealed, covering his head with all four hands. “But they’re powerful. I figured they’d be more better at killing angels than any other demons. Besides, I didn’t really talk to the Ancients, just the heads of their households.”
Great. This was turning into even more of a cluster fuck than I’d originally thought. “What exactly did they say, Whistle?”
The Low stared up at me, blood dripping from his nose. “That if this was legit, if you really did have your wings and could gate into Aaru, then the Ancients would want in on this. If not, then they were going to hunt you down and kill you for disturbing them.”
Days like this I was regretting my generosity in allowing so many Lows into my household. Whistle meant well, but he’d just put me between the proverbial rock and a hard place. If I backed out with these Ancients, I’d have three powerful demons gunning for me. If I followed through, then Gregory and his brothers would need to turn around and oust three demons after fighting a whole host of angels.
“Did you tell them we’re not staying? That this is a go in, kill some angels, then get the fuck back to Hel excursion?”
Whistle nodded. “Yes, but they laughed and said that maybe the time was right to start up the war again. That maybe this could be just the first in a series of forays designed to take back their homeland.”
This was exactly why I didn’t want the Ancients to know about this, and certainly didn’t want to include them. I wasn’t sure what to do at this point, but I knew I couldn’t lead these three into Aaru. Guess I was going to have to deal with the death threats. Again. Damn I was getting tired of this.
“Okay. Where is my army? I’ll need them in a central place. Can’t exactly go racing around Hel to assemble my forty-one demon army when I need to be ready to move at a moment’s notice.”
Forty-one. I wondered how many legions that was.
“The greed demons, the Lows and the warmongers are all at your house in Dis,” Snip told me. “The imps said they’ll check in there twice a day, otherwise you can contact them through their households.”
That wasn’t too bad. The majority would be at hand, and tracking down three imps wouldn’t be a big deal.
“The Ancients are at their houses,” Whistle told me. “They said your place at Dis was a hovel.”
Pretty harsh words given that both my houses had once belonged to the Ancient demon Ahr
iman. I doubt they would have called his homes hovels to his face while he was alive. Jerks. Not like I wanted them along on this trip anyway.
“Great. Let’s go meet my army.”
I left Patchine and made the trek to Dis on foot. It was a several hour journey, but it gave me time to think and also gave my Lows a chance to come along if they wanted. Not surprisingly, Snip was the only one who followed me out of town. Surprisingly, he was oddly silent during our journey.
Forty-one. After Gregory’s lessons I was reasonably sure I could transport that many demons to Aaru without exhausting myself too much. Unfortunately, I doubted such a small group would make much of a dent in the outcome of a war among the angels. The best I could hope would be for shock value. If the angels were stunned at our arrival, maybe it would give Gregory and his brothers the chance to get the upper hand. And hopefully they could gain that upper hand before my small army all got themselves killed.
And then there was the fact that I’d ordered two hundred weapons from the dwarves. That was roughly five weapons per demon. Hopefully they all had forms with multiple arms and hands to utilize all these weapons, or I would have just bought a bunch of expensive toys for my Lows to play with.
“Mistress?” Snip whispered.
“Yeah,” I whispered back. I had no idea why the silence was necessary. We were out in the middle of nowhere. But some demons did have exceptional hearing, and I wasn’t sure how sensitive the information Snip was about to impart would be.
“I wasn’t able to find this Samael, the one who held the Iblis sword before you.”
It had been a long shot, but worth an effort. “Don’t worry. I’m sure you tried your best.”
“I’ll keep looking,” Snip vowed. “None of the households I spoke with remembered what happened to him after the war. Some say he died before we came to Hel. Others remember him being here, but that he quickly went into seclusion. Others believe he may have changed his form and identity and is one of the more active Ancients. Although no one seems to have any clear idea on which Ancient he is likely to be.”