Shattered Emotions (Redwood Pack)

by Ryan, Carrie Ann

  Ellie blinked and tried to clear her head before finally answering the boy. “Sorry, I was woolgathering. Is there something you need?”

  Parker looked her in the eyes, and Ellie held her ground, refusing to lower her gaze and show her submission—an odd thing to have to do with a child. This one, however, seemed to be full of power he didn’t know what to do with.

  The boy finally shook his head. “Sorry to stare you down. I can’t help it, you know? My wolf wants to make sure everyone knows that I’m not going to roll over for them, but then I feel like I’m gonna get in trouble.”

  “It’s because you’re an alpha, Parker,” Maddox said from behind him.

  Both she and Parker jumped, not having heard the Omega approach.

  “An alpha?” Parker asked. “Whoa. That’s big.”

  Maddox shook his head then led Parker into the room, gesturing for the boy to sit next to Ellie. She shuffled over, making more space, keeping her blanket tight around her because the cold had never left.

  Parker sat next to her with Maddox sitting on the other side of him. Parker drew his knees up to his chest and looked so much like the young boy he was, not the alpha wolf that wanted to control him.

  “You’re an alpha, not the Alpha,” Maddox said. “That means your wolf is very dominant, much like your Uncle Logan’s.”

  “Does that mean I have to be in charge of a Pack?”

  Parker looked so confused—so lost—that Ellie gave in and wrapped an arm around his shoulders, bringing him into the blanket with her. He stiffened for a moment before leaning into her. Her wolf nudged at her, needing to comfort the boy just as much as she did.

  Maddox gave her a soft smile, and her wolf yipped in joy.

  “No, Parker, not unless you find your own Pack or you become Alpha of an existing Pack. Both are nearly impossible to do anymore. The Packs are clearly defined, and most lone wolves don’t want to form their own Pack and deal with all the politics, and the already formed Packs are led by families with the goddess’ magic to lead them.”

  Ellie ran her hand up and down Parker’s back as he relaxed at Maddox’s words.

  “Parker, you’re dominant, an alpha. That means your wolf is really, really strong. You’re going to want to protect all those around you even if they don’t want protection. It’s going to feel like an irrational fear to you, but your wolf needs it. Also, any other dominant wolf around you is going to set your own wolf on edge. The difference between an alpha and a wolf who only wants to dominate is their own control.”

  Ellie felt Parker nod, and she squeezed his shoulders. This was Maddox in his element. Even though he wasn’t using his magic or connection to the Pack, he was still calming the boy and explaining what it meant to be a wolf. She’d always known he was good at what he did, but she hadn’t really seen it in action.

  There had to be a way she could fit into that—a way she could help.

  She didn’t want to feel useless anymore.

  “What you did just now to Ellie is natural. She’s a stronger wolf than most, I’ve seen her fight and hunt, so your wolf wanted to make sure her wolf knew you were there, but your wolf also didn’t know what to do because she’s not as strong as she should be, right?”

  Ellie froze. What the hell did he mean by that? Shouldn’t they be having this conversation between them and not in front of an eight-year-old boy? Pain sliced through her. Was that why he didn’t want her?

  Was she not good enough?

  Maddox gave her a sharp look, and she saw his words had finally dawned on him.

  “Damn, Ellie, that’s not what I meant.”

  She raised her chin but didn’t say anything. He’d have to explain himself to her.

  Parker let out a little growl and turned to block her from Maddox.

  Maddox let out a sigh and shook his head. “I’m sorry, Ellie. I only meant that your wolf is hurting and dominant wolves want to help you, not that you’re damaged.”

  Ellie flinched. She hated that word.

  Hated it.

  Even though the word might describe her perfectly, she didn’t want the man she cared about to think of her that way.

  Parker let out another growl, and Maddox reached out to cup her face. The boy shoved Maddox out of the way and snarled.

  “Be nice. You don’t get to touch her after what you just said.”

  Ellie’s eyes widened at the display. Though what Maddox had said hurt, she knew he hadn’t meant it that way. Or, at least her brain did—her heart was a whole other matter. Parker, on the other hand, didn’t need to be in the middle of it.

  “Parker, I’m fine. Maddox is just trying to explain why your wolf wants to protect me like you’re doing, even though it sometimes want to growl and act surly like you did before.”

  “But he made you sad,” Parker argued, but his body relaxed, and she pulled him closer, letting his little body calm.

  This was what it meant to be Pack—even if he wasn’t technically hers. Her wolf wanted to comfort him as much as his wolf wanted to do the same.

  “I think I made myself sad,” she explained. “What Maddox said was true, though he and I will have to talk about exactly what it means privately, okay?” She was talking to Parker but gave Maddox a look when she said it. He nodded, and her wolf seemed to relinquish a bit of her annoyance.

  The human in her, however, needed more than a nod.

  “Okay,” Parker mumbled. “It’s hard being a wolf.”

  Her wolf reached out to him, calming his, and it took all her effort not to pull him closer into her arms and smother him. Apparently, her maternal instincts were showing themselves off in full force.

  “I know, buddy,” Maddox said. “Believe me, I know. It’s got to be even harder without a Pack, though your mom and uncle are doing their best from what I can see.”

  Parker nodded.

  “I bet they’ve also told you how to control your wolf, right?”

  Parker nodded again, lowering his gaze.

  “You’re doing a great job for your age, Parker,” Maddox explained. “You have a lot more to learn, but your mom and uncle know what they’re doing. Listen to your wolf and use your control. It takes time to learn how to find a delicate balance, but I can tell you’re well on your way.”

  “Do you think we could go home with you?” Parker asked, and Ellie’s heart ached for him. “I want to be part of a Pack.”

  Maddox met her gaze, and Ellie wanted to pull them both into her arms and never let go.

  “That’s something we’d have to discuss with Lexi and Logan, Parker,” Maddox answered.

  Ellie couldn’t tell what he thought would result from that conversation. On one hand, her wolf felt safe with these three strangers. On the other, she didn’t speak for the Pack and didn’t know what they’d do—especially with the state of things now.

  Parker let out a sigh. “I guess that’s a no.”

  Maddox reached out and gripped Parker’s chin, forcing the boy’s gaze to his. “That means we need to talk about it, Parker. I won’t lie to you, and I won’t promise you anything but an open mind from my end. Okay?”

  “Okay. Sorry for freaking out on you.”

  Ellie ran her hand through his too-long hair. “You didn’t freak out. You’re just a growing boy who happens to also be a growing wolf.”

  Parker smiled, and Ellie blinked. There was just something about him that reminded her of someone, but she couldn’t place it.

  “Thanks. I’m going to go see what Mom and Uncle Logan are up to. Stay warm, okay? You looked like you were really cold when I came in.” With that, Parker walked out of the room, leaving her alone on the couch with Maddox.

  She shifted uncomfortably as she pulled the blanket around her tighter.

  “Are you cold?” Maddox asked as he moved closer.

  She could feel his body heat and resisted the urge to lean into him, if only for his warmth.

  “I don’t know why I can’t warm up,” she finally answered.r />
  Maddox shifted again and pulled her into his arms. She froze for a moment before leaning into him, inhaling his crisp scent. She could feel his breath on her ear as he ran a hand down her side, warming her in more ways than one.

  “This helping?” he asked, his voice gruff.

  “Yes, but why are you holding me, Maddox? We need to talk.”

  Maddox let out a sigh and held her closer. “I know. I’m just trying to figure out what to say.”

  “You can start with how you don’t want me.” Her voice was stronger than she’d thought possible, but she still wasn’t sure she wanted to hear what he had to say.

  Maddox shook his head. “It’s not that…”

  Ellie’s eyes widened. “Really? So this surly attitude and pushing me away is what…you saying you can’t live without me?”

  “Ellie…”

  She opened her mouth to speak and froze as a wolf howled in the distance.

  No, not in the distance…it was close.

  “What was that?” she asked as they both stood quickly, the blanket falling to her feet.

  “Not one of us,” Maddox whispered and took her hand. She squeezed back, letting her wolf come to the surface, ready to fight if needed.

  The rest of their group came into the room on alert, Lexi’s arm around Parker.

  “They’ve found us,” Logan growled. “They hadn’t come until you showed up.”

  “Logan, shut up,” Lexi admonished. “They would have come here, eventually, anyway. We’ve been hiding for too long. It was bound to happen. Now, stop putting the blame on everyone else and help us figure out how we’re going to protect ourselves.”

  Ellie wanted to hug this woman. Thank God there was at least one of them who could speak out when needed.

  “We don’t know who they are,” Ellie said. They each gave her a look that made her want to shrivel up inside herself, but she held her chin high. “I’m just saying we don’t know who yet, but we know it’s probably the Centrals. What’s the plan?”

  “We fight,” Logan said simply.

  Maddox let out a growl. “We can’t stay inside. All that does is let them surround us. We’re going to go out and face them as men but shift if we have to.” He leveled his gaze at Parker and Lexi. “Parker, I want you to shift too, okay? You’re faster as a wolf. If anything happens to us, you run toward the Redwoods.” He tore off part of his shirt and gave it to Parker. “Keep this with you. It has my scent on it, and my family won’t hurt you because you’re a pup and have part of me with you.”

  Parker nodded, his eyes wide.

  “We don’t have much time,” North said as he rolled his shoulders. “Lexi, I assume you can fight in your human form?”

  Lexi gave a wry smile. “Since it’s the only form I know, sure.”

  Ellie nudged Maddox, and he faced her, worry on his face. “I can’t shift as fast as the rest of you, and if we have to fight, I’d rather do it as a wolf.”

  She was strong as a wolf…more confident.

  “We’ll head out front,” Logan said as he gave her a long look. Lexi, Parker, and North followed him, leaving Maddox alone with her.

  He faced her and framed her face with his hands. Her breath caught in her throat as she looked up at him.

  “We’re going to settle this when we’re done fighting everyone else,” he whispered, his lips ever so close to hers but not touching. All she had to do was stand on her toes and she’d be able to kiss him…but she wouldn’t do that.

  He had to make the first move.

  She’d always laid herself out for him, and she wasn’t going to make herself look any more desperate than she already had.

  “Change into your wolf, Ellie. I know you’re stronger as one, and I don’t want you hurt.” He lifted his gaze from her and looked behind her. “They’re coming.” He tucked a lock of hair behind her ear then moved away, giving her his back so she could shift.

  She let out a shaky breath and stripped then knelt so she could shift. The change came faster since she was so worried, and when she was in her wolf form, she nudged the back of his legs.

  He turned and gave her a strained smile. “You’re a beautiful wolf. I hope you know that.”

  No one had ever told her that.

  Her body warmed at his words, but she didn’t move closer. The enemy was coming, and they didn’t have time for this.

  Maddox slid his hand through her fur for a bitter moment, as if he couldn’t help himself, then turned toward the door. She followed, knowing this might be it.

  Parker, in his wolf form, bounded to her and sniffed at her wolf before standing by her side. Lexi and Logan stood off to the side, Lexi holding what looked to be a bat, and Logan shirtless, ready to change if needed.

  Maddox and North each took off their shirts, and Ellie had to hold herself back to keep from panting. So not the right time.

  Parker nudged her leg, and she licked his head while his little body quivered in a mix of fear and excitement. She had a feeling this wasn’t the boy’s first fight, but, goddess, she didn’t think he should have to deal with all of it.

  Ellie could feel the other wolves surrounding them, their anger palpable. Maddox stood in front of her and gave her a nod.

  “You run and take Parker with you if you can,” he said so softly she wasn’t even sure she’d heard him.

  She lifted her lip to show fang. She wasn’t weak—not anymore. There was no way she’d leave him. Parker growled beside her. Even with the little piece of cloth tied around his throat that made him look adorable.

  Maddox growled. “I don’t want you hurt. Please.”

  She didn’t do anything, not that she could do much in her wolf form, but she wouldn’t promise him something she knew she’d probably turn her back on.

  Ellie could feel the other wolves moving closer, and her party stood on edge, ready to fight. They were on human territory, meaning there shouldn’t be any fighting to begin with, but how the Centrals viewed things was another matter.

  She inhaled their scents and held back a whimper.

  There had to be over forty wolves around them.

  And one was her brother.

  Corbin.

  “You’re surrounded, Redwoods…and who is this…ah, Lexi and Logan, we meet again,” Corbin crooned as he walked toward them, shirtless in the moonlight, his eyes glowing gold with his wolf right at the surface.

  Logan froze then growled. It seemed the ex-Talons weren’t the ones the Centrals were looking for at first.

  “You’re not welcome here,” North drawled.

  “This isn’t your territory, and frankly, you stole my property, and I want it back.”

  Goddess, he sounded like a petulant child, not the Alpha of a werewolf Pack. Her father might have been evil and corrupt, but at least he’d had the backbone to be something more than whiny brat.

  “She wasn’t your property, and now she’s a Redwood,” Maddox said, his voice laced with anger.

  “Really? She’s a Redwood, is she? Not for long from what I hear.”

  No one said anything, and she was grateful. They’d left the den because the others needed to weed out the traitor. She and the twins were on their own…or at least they had been.

  Corbin looked bored then snapped his fingers. The growls from the other wolves intensified, and they charged. All forty wolves—minus Corbin—came at them, their teeth bared, their souls black.

  These wolves used to be her people, her Pack, and now, they were shallow husks of what they’d once been. The demon had taken their goodness—whatever miniscule amount some of them had—and had left behind nothing but tainted wolves intent on killing them.

  She only hoped that the few wolves who had escaped the Pack before Caym had taken over were safe. Not every Central had been corrupt, but the ones that had been good had either been killed or had hidden in fear for their lives.

  Lexi cracked her bat across the skull of a wolf as it came at her then moved on to another wolf. Logan grow
led and took out wolves, one by one, snapping their necks with his abundant strength.

  Ellie had known he was a dominant wolf, but he was stronger than she’d thought.

  North and Maddox took out the wolves on their other side, working silently as a team, killing each one swiftly.

  A gray wolf came at her, and she moved in front of Parker. She sprang from her back legs and leapt on the wolf, digging her teeth into its neck. She worked her head back and forth, and the wolf beneath her whimpered, its body struggling against her. She bit down harder, severing its spinal cord before breaking its neck. She spat the blood out of her mouth and went at another wolf.

  The enemy might have been greater in number, but most of the wolves were much weaker than them. The only reason the Centrals were winning the overall war was because of Caym—a fact that pissed them all off to no end.

  Each of them took out more wolves, leaving bodies in their wake. She didn’t move far from her spot, though, making sure Parker was covered. He might have been a dominant wolf, but he was still too small to fight.

  Ellie saw a blur out of the corner of her eye and sucked in a breath as a wolf rammed into her side, knocking her to the ground. She wiggled from its hold, and it clawed at her, trying to rake its nails down her fur. Ellie turned from it and let out a yip before biting its neck, using all her strength to kill the wolf.

  She lifted her head and let out a growl. When she’d moved to get out of the way of her attacker, she’d left Parker alone. Corbin shifted and his wolf ran toward the pup, his teeth bared.

  Oh, God, she wouldn’t make it in time.

  Parker growled at Corbin, but it would be no use…he was just too small.

  Corbin leapt at Parker, his teeth bared, but hit a moving blur instead.

  An anguish-filled growl filled the air as North slammed into Corbin. Ellie threw her body over Parker’s, but it was too late to save North.

  Corbin slid fangs into North’s chest, and blood began to pour from the doctor’s body.

  “North!” Maddox yelled, and he ran his body into Corbin’s, dislodging the wolf from his brother’s body.