“No, I don’t like getting out of bed, especially now that I have a delectable, warm woman next to me.”
She smiled and turned in his arms. They’d made love three times the night before, and she was delightfully sore, but if he so desired, she’d take him with wild abandon.
It was odd how quickly things changed yet stayed the same.
Her mate smiled, the curve of his lip slightly tugging at his scar. Though others would have been afraid of the mark upon his face, it only showed her how much he’d endured—how much he’d survived. She wouldn’t have taken the unscarred North, even if he’d been her mate. There had always been a choice. Maddox was for her.
Maddox brushed her hair from her face and kissed her gently. “I’d wake us both up in a manner that would make you blush, but I think you’re too sore for that.” He nibbled on her lip, and she sighed.
“I’m sorry,” she whispered.
“Never be sorry for anything we do here.” He kissed her again and pulled back. “I like you all rumpled, by the way.”
She laughed softly and shook her head. “You’re pretty rumpled yourself.” She ran her hands through his too-long dark blonde hair. “You need a haircut though.”
He raised a brow and scoffed. “I see how it is. One day as my mate and you’re already trying to clean me up.”
He said it in a teasing manner, so she didn’t feel chastened. Instead, she loved the way he didn’t treat her with kid gloves, even if he’d treated her softly the night before. There was a difference in trying to heal and trying to box her away never to be heard from again. She was just happy Maddox seemed to know the difference.
Maddox kissed her again then softly smacked her bottom. “Now, let’s get cleaned up and started on the day. I want to do another patrol before we discuss our next plan.”
She nodded, hating the fact that their small interlude would be over. Their realities were catching up with them, and they’d have to find a way to not only clear her name but protect their Pack as well.
They quickly showered together, Maddox being ever so careful with her soreness, ate a quick breakfast, and threw on their coats and everything else for a patrol of the area. The sun lightly warmed their skin, even as the cool wind bit.
She couldn’t scent another wolf around them, only the vague remnants of the battle that had left North in pain and had forced the ex-Talons to leave and find sanctuary with the Redwoods.
Cailin had called to tell them that North was in their care, but that had been it. No other communication had been initiated to rest their fears. They could only pray that he’d be okay while she and Maddox hid away.
Damn it, she didn’t want to hide. Not anymore.
There had to be something she could do to fix this. There had to be a way she could contribute to the Pack’s safety and eliminate her brother’s hold over her for good.
Maddox tugged at her hand, and she glanced at him. She had far more to lose now, yet far more to gain and hold on to. She wouldn’t stand by and let them take it away from her.
“Ready to head back?” Maddox asked as he looked away, his senses as alert as her own.
“Yes, then we need to decide what to do,” she whispered, aware she was giving orders, where before she’d have been the one to either follow them or hide.
He nodded, and they made their way back to the cabin, tension crawling over her back and settling in her belly. They sat in the living room, facing each other on the couch as she tried to calm herself.
“We need to go to the Central’s den,” she blurted.
Maddox closed his eyes and nodded. “I know. We’ve always let them come at us, and that’s only proven we’ve been weak.”
She shook her head and took his hand. “No, you haven’t been weak. You’ve made decisions to ensure the stability and sanctity of your Pack. While the Centrals were dark and used magic to let themselves become corrupt and evil, you’ve stood tall and lived in the white and gray. Your souls aren’t tainted to the point of loss.”
He cupped her cheek, and she leaned into his palm. “Yet we’ve lost so many because we can’t go dark, because we don’t want to risk others just so we can win quickly.”
“At least you’ve fought, Maddox. What have I done?”
He growled softly, and she froze. “Never think that about yourself. You stood up for yourself for years.”
“No, I let Corbin reign over me.” Her voice shook, but she didn’t back down—not anymore.
“You lived, Ellie mine.”
“And for what? I lost my family—the ones that could love—because I couldn’t fight back.” Tears fell down her cheeks, but she didn’t brush them away.
He kissed her cheeks, licking up her tears before pulling away. “You did fight back, Ellie. Don’t you see? He kept you alive because of the fire in here.” He pressed his palm between her breasts over her heart. “You’re stronger than you think, baby. You fought to protect me when I was at my weakest. You saved me, and you saved Josh, Reed, and Hannah. You got all of us out of the den and protected them, even though you knew you’d probably die in the process.”
She tried to pull away from his hold, that familiar shame unable to be washed away so easily. “Josh still turned into a partial demon, and your Pack was still hurt from it.”
He pulled her to his chest, and she let him run a hand through her hair. “You saved them, Ellie mine. You fought to protect those who needed it. You’re stronger than you think,” he repeated. “You’ve been strong all along. It’s not the strength of what you could have done, but the strength of your past actions that prove you deserve something far greater than what you’ve got.”
“Maddox…”
He kissed her softly, shutting her up quite nicely.
“I know you don’t see it, but you’re one to look up to, baby girl. My family already does as do countless others in the Pack—the ones who see past the hurt and stigma of who you were forced to live with for so long. You’ve got the heart of those who protect others, and I’m never going to let you forget that for as long as I live.”
She looked at him as if she’d never seen him before. It made no sense. She’d always thought she’d been weak to allow Corbin to control her for so long, but maybe she’d been wrong. Maybe her rebelling and trying to free others had been something more than just guilt.
Ellie took a deep breath and wrung her hands. “I don’t know what to think.”
Her mate kissed her cheeks again before pulling back. “Just know that I will always be here for you—even if I wasn’t before because of my own inadequacies. My family will always be on your side as well.”
“Why do I feel that I’m only strong now because I have you by my side?” she said, finally voicing the thing that had been nagging her.
Maddox let out a dry chuckle, and she narrowed her eyes at him, not understanding what could possibly be humorous at the moment.
“You couldn’t be more wrong about that, Ellie mine,” he said, his voice adamant. “You’ve always been resilient on your own. You have to believe that. A mate isn’t supposed to take over; they’re supposed to join with you and help you become greater than before.”
She nodded, not quite believing, but she wouldn’t say anything, not yet. She’d have to see for herself if it were true.
“So, we’re going to the Centrals to see if we can find their weakness,” she said after a moment.
“Goddess, I don’t want to take you there. I want to keep you safe,” he said, his voice ragged.
“Didn’t you just say I was strong and could do anything?”
He snorted. “Yes, and it’s the truth, but that doesn’t mean I have to like the fact we have to both put ourselves in danger.”
“Why do you think Corbin did it?” she asked, unable to say the actual words of what he’d done. Goddess, she couldn’t get the sight of their mangled bodies out of her mind, no matter how hard she tried.
“I think it was a message to get the Redwoods’ attentio
n,” Maddox answered.
“To prove to us that they can get to us no matter what.”
Her mate nodded then pulled her into his arms. She sank into his embrace, needing him and his wolf, even if just for the moment.
“They can’t get away with it,” she whispered. “He can’t get away with it.”
She felt him nod against her, and she inhaled his musky scent, needing to settle down.
“We need to find the person who killed them, but I think they’re still with the Pack,” Maddox said with an edge.
Ellie pulled back and ran her hands over his shoulders, using touch to calm him, just as he did for her.
“Your family is working on that. Our job was to work through our differences—which we did.” She blushed at the memory of just how they’d done that. “We also need to find out how they got the mole in. To do that, we need to infiltrate the Centrals as well.”
Maddox nodded. “It’s time to see what we can do within the Centrals’ den instead of the reverse. It’s time we see if there’s something to be done from our end.”
“I don’t want to go back. Goddess, I don’t want to, but we need to.”
Maddox frowned. “I don’t want you to get hurt.”
“I won’t. I mean, it can’t be any worse than before.” Her jaw snapped shut at her words, and she closed her eyes.
“Ellie, baby, you can tell me what happened. Sometimes the best way to heal is to share. I know I can’t help you through my powers as an Omega, but I can listen. And our bond? Yeah, that can help too.”
She opened her eyes and smiled wryly. “Is this the same bond that you said would only hurt me?”
He ducked his head. “I was wrong. Can’t you feel it? Goddess, you feel so warm, and you’re not going crazy over the strength of it.”
She smiled. “I can feel you in my head, Maddox. I can feel everything. I know you can feel the muted presence of the Pack through your bond, and I can feel it as well. I can easily see how it could be overwhelming, but I think it’ll be different. I think, with the two of us, I can even help you bare that burden.”
He stilled for just a moment then relaxed around her. “We’ll see when we get home.”
Home.
Goddess, everything had changed, hadn’t it?
They needed to clear up the past and present first so they could have a future.
“Corbin never raped me,” she whispered, saying the words she needed to say before she lost her courage.
Maddox’s arms tightened, and she gasped. He relaxed immediately and ran his hands down her back and through her hair.
He swallowed hard and kissed her temple. “Good. Oh, baby, that’s good to know.”
“He said he’d never go that far. He had his friends rape me repeatedly, but he never joined.”
Maddox growled, and she kissed his neck, trying to comfort him.
“I’m going to kill them all, Ellie.”
She liked the threat of violence in his voice and licked and nibbled his chin. “You’ll have to stand behind me first.”
He let out a breath and squeezed her again. “Caym said…before…” He trailed off, and she froze, knowing exactly what Caym had said in the clearing.
“Only a few times,” she whispered. “He wanted my brother more, and Corbin gladly gave in.”
He kissed her hard, and she lost herself to him. Maddox could take away the hurts, the memories…everything and give so much in return. This was what it meant to be a mate, to relish in the joining and the fullness of having another with you at all times.
“He will die, Ellie. I promise you that. He’ll pay for all he’s done.”
She didn’t know if the he referred to was Caym or Corbin, or both, but she didn’t care. For some reason, no for all the reasons, she believed Maddox and his words.
There had to be a way to end it all, to find peace.
They’d just have to go to the Centrals to start the process. It was time they took the war to them rather than sit back and wait to protect their own.
Goddess, she only hoped she didn’t lose more in the process. For now, she had much more to lose.
Chapter 15
“Ellie, I don’t want you to get hurt.”
Her eyes closed again at her mate’s repeated words, but she didn’t say anything. There really was no need. Maddox wanted to lock her up to protect her, but she knew he’d never do it, not when taking away her will would hurt her even more.
“Damn it. I hate this,” he grumbled as he packed up the last of their belongings.
They’d start the trek that night to the Centrals’ den. It’d be a long journey without a car—it wasn’t as if it was just across the street or anything. The dens of the United States were usually surrounded by neutral territories, like the one they stayed in now. Each den was miles wide, the territory even larger—sometimes as big as a state itself. It would take hours to drive to some dens, days even. Even though sometimes it felt like the Centrals were right next door, in reality, their enemy was far away.
They’d make the journey though.
They had to.
Maddox pulled her into his arms and kissed her—hard. He moved back, his breath ragged, and rested his forehead on hers. “I don’t like any of this, and though I’m letting you go, I’m not leaving your side.”
She smiled at his promise and ran her hands up and down his back. “I’m not leaving your side either. It’s just you and me. We’re going to go there and find a way to bring them down or at least find out how they infiltrated the Redwoods. We’re not going to end the war in one day, goddess no.”
He cupped her ass and squeezed. “No, I’d rather them not know we’re there at all. This is just for information, nothing more.”
She nodded. “Then we’ll go home.”
“Then we’ll go home. We’ve been gone long enough, almost a week, Ellie. My family has to have something now.”
The Jamensons hadn’t called since that frantic call from Cailin concerning North. She knew they couldn’t. They had to keep the pretenses up that Ellie was banished so Corbin wouldn’t attack the den again. Or at least that was their hope.
It was time she and Maddox did something to help beyond finding their own centers. Edward had told them to find a way to protect the Pack, and she was going to do that. Maybe that would even help her in the eyes of the others who doubted her—not because of her own actions but because of who had raised her.
She didn’t really blame them though, considering how much the Pack had been through for so long. Death and the burning down of part of their den was enough to put uncertainty and fear in the strongest of wolves.
Maddox pulled her into his arms and kissed her brow. “Let’s get on with it then, my Ellie. I might not like what we have to do, but we’ll get it done.”
She nodded then kissed under this jaw, the stubble scraping against her lips, sending shivers down her back.
Okay, so not the time for that.
With one last look at the cabin where everything had changed, she gripped Maddox’s hand and sank into the shadows. The path they were taking was as straightforward as they could make it and would only take a day at most if they hurried. Frankly, she didn’t want to take her time. She wanted to get it over with, find something they could use on the Centrals, and return to her own den where she could get on with her life.
Never before had she thought she’d actually have a future, and she wouldn’t give up that hope for anything.
Especially not for a brother who had taken everything from her and had darkened her soul to the point she’d never thought she’d breathe again.
They made good time, talking quietly about things they had missed over the past two years because they’d hidden their feelings—well, he had, her not so much. They ate on the move, not bothering to stop and rest when they knew time was not on their side.
The sound of a branch under an animal’s paw made her freeze. The scent of wolf attacked her nose.
Maddox
pulled her behind him, the source of the sound in front of them. Her pulse beat in her ears, and she focused on her other senses.
There.
Another wolf.
A Central wolf—or was it?
Maddox squeezed her hand, and she did the same back, and then the other wolf jumped out of the bushes.
The red wolf pounced, its teeth bared, ready to bite into Maddox’s arm, but her mate was faster. He pulled her to the side, and she rolled, ready to attack if the wolf came at her and also ready to fight anything else that might come out of the shadows to surprise them.
Maddox stayed in his human form and took the red wolf by the scruff, slamming him down to the ground. He straddled it, forcing it to struggle and it snapped its jaws near Maddox’s neck.
Ellie couldn’t feel another presence around them no matter how hard she tried and moved to help her mate. She let her wolf rise to the surface, her claws elongating from her fingertips. She hadn’t been able to do that type of partial shift when she lived with the Centrals because the action took too much focus, too much strength.
The Redwoods had been good to her in so many ways. She wasn’t about to let anyone take that away from her.
When the wolf turned to her, she slashed her claws against its cheek then pressed her claw against its jugular.
“Stop moving,” she growled, her wolf howling beneath her skin, loving the feel of power radiating from her.
The wolf glared at her but did as she said.
“Change,” Maddox ordered, his voice low, deadly.
The wolf lifted a lip in a snarl, and she pressed her claw harder. A whimper escaped, and the flush of magic brushed against her skin as he changed.
When he was in his human form, she could see the damage to his body she hadn’t noticed when he’d been a wolf. Someone had tortured him. Long gashes ran long his sides, and burns covered his body.
The man looked resigned to his fate, and Maddox lifted off him.
“Why did you attack us?” her mate asked.
“You shouldn’t be here,” the other man rasped out.
“What happened to you?” she asked. Maybe if they knew why he was hurt, they could figure out why he was there.
Shattered Emotions (Redwood Pack) Page 14