by Simone Elise
How the hell did I get so lucky?
My hand spread across her cheek. I didn’t even realize I was pulling her in till she was so fucking close. My self-control was wavering. She wouldn’t be ready. I knew that. So why the hell was I teasing myself by bringing her so close?
Then, just when I was about to withdraw, her lips brushed mine, making me freeze.
Had I forgotten how to kiss? Her lips met mine once more and I automatically switched gears. My hands going to her hips and lifting her up, I kissed her back. She was sweeter than I remembered. So fucking perfect.
I had lost my self-control and was kissing her desperately. I was frantic, unable to get enough. I sat her on a pool table and my hand was quick to go to the back of her neck, not wanting her to pull away. Needing to explore every inch of her mouth with my tongue.
“I see you two are back at it.”
Abby froze as soon as she heard those words, pulling away from me. I groaned. I was nowhere near done with her.
I looked over my shoulder to see Kim standing there, smiling at us. “You picked a fucking great moment to show up.” Couldn’t she have slept in or something?
I wasn’t ready to share Abby with anyone, not even her sister or father.
“I’ve been busy cooking breakfast.” Kim walked into the room. “Abby looks too thin. She is back with us today, right?” She looked around me. “Not still dreaming, Abby?”
Kim wasn’t teasing her. She was being serious. She wanted to know if her sister was back to being her sister. I had news for Kim. Abby might be back from her momentary flight from reality, but she was nowhere near back to who she was before she was taken.
I looked back at Abby.
Her blue eyes stared directly at me.
“You hungry?” My hands went around her and I lifted her off the pool table.
“No.”
“Abby, you clearly haven’t been fucking eating. So don’t start this, ‘no, I’m not eating’ crap.” Kim was down her throat before I could even say anything.
“I’m not hungry.” Abby stood by her statement.
“You’re eating,” I said, ending her protest. “Don’t bother arguing about it.”
“Since when did you and Kim start agreeing on things?” Abby arched her eyebrows at me.
“Since it came to you,” I answered her. Kim and I were closer. Being without Abby had brought us closer. So had looking after Tyson.
Speaking of Tyson, he was moving in the crib.
“I think someone’s awake.” Kim had noticed him moving as well.
Abby all of a sudden looked completely freaked out. I could tell by one look in her eyes that she wanted to bolt.
She opened her mouth. I was sure she was going to come out with a golden line to get away from facing Tyson. But I wasn’t giving her a chance.
“Come on, Abby.” I pulled on her hand. “Stop looking so frightened. He isn’t going to hurt you.”
“I’m more frightened of me hurting him.” She pulled her hand from my grasp. “I think I’m going to have a shower.”
I shook my head. “Don’t even try and get away from us.”
“Reaper, I really think it’s for the best if I keep my distance when it comes to Tyson. He knows you and Kim. He feels safe with you two. I see no point in disturbing that.”
“How’s you having a relationship with him going to disturb anything?”
She was freaking out. It was clear on her face. She was a second from bolting and a second from deciding if she had to really give me any reason why she was doing it.
She shook her head. “Please don’t make me.”
She was that terrified of Tyson? He wasn’t going to hurt her. Or maybe that’s what she was scared of. Him not knowing her. Yeah, I bet that was what had her wanting to run. She didn’t want him to not know her.
He knew who his mother was, and he knew she had been missing.
“He knows you, Abby. The first memories he has are all of you.” I took her hand again and walked her to the crib. “Have some faith in him, Abby.”
I let go of her hands and picked Tyson up. He yawned and, like normal, was smiling. She was stiff. I arched my eyebrows when she didn’t put her arms out. Tyson caught sight of her and started kicking his legs and cooing.
“Still think he doesn’t know who you are?” I said to her as our son basically had a fit trying to get to her. He was all smiles, looking directly at her.
She was watching his reaction. He was the one who got her to open her arms for him.
As soon as he was in her arms, she smiled, he giggled. And just like that my world snapped back into place. I had my wife back.
Chapter 24
Kim
I was tapping my fingers on my laptop, thinking. Well, more worrying.
“OK, you going to tell me what’s wrong?”
My head snapped to look at Trigger. He was giving me a look that said he knew something was wrong with me and he was sick of watching me deal with it.
“It’s Abby,” I sighed.
“What about her?”
“Something’s wrong with her.” I couldn’t explain it. I just knew. I knew she went through something huge and was coming back to us, slowly and as best as she could. But there was something else, something she wasn’t telling us.
“Well, you can’t expect her to be back to herself. Hell, look at what she went through.”
“That’s just it.” I turned on the bed. “She isn’t telling me something.”
“I’m sure Reaper knows everything. So stop stressing.”
I shook my head. “Nope, she hasn’t told him either. Otherwise I would know.”
Trigger hand ran down my leg. “Ever thought maybe you are expecting too much from her?”
“Nope. She is keeping something from me. We know she was beaten. She didn’t eat but there is something else.”
“He was going to kill her, Kim. Every day he would have reminded her of that. Physical torture is nothing compared to that shit, knowing her life was going to end at his hands.” He took my hand. “I don’t know how Reaper can live with himself after everything he put her through.”
“He didn’t do it on purpose. And he did get Abby in the end. And he killed Jake.”
“Yeah, but still,” Trigger shook his head, “knowing you’ve put your woman through months of torture and put her life at risk like that. Hell, I’m surprised he hasn’t left the club altogether.”
“Abby and Reaper breathe the club. As if that was ever a possibility.”
“I’d give it up if it meant you were safe.” He shrugged like it wasn’t a big deal. “I don’t make calls anymore. I made sure I’m answering to someone. Reaper should have learned his lesson and stepped away, not taken on the mother charter.”
“Just because he left a loose end, he should, what, walk away from the only life he knows?”
“I’m just saying, Kim. When we start a family, I’ll be making sure I’m not calling any shots. I never want something I’ve done to impact you.”
“Is it my fault that you’ve basically washed your hands of the club then?” I’d finally put a finger on what had changed with him. “You and this club are the same. I don’t want you out of it and I don’t want you ever considering I’d want that. Sure, you don’t have as many enemies as Reaper but you are always going to have someone on your bad side. Fuck. That’s why you are called Trigger!”
“Like I said, I’d walk from the club if it meant it guaranteed your safety. And you wouldn’t get dragged down by my shit.”
Not believing what I was hearing, I pushed my laptop off my lap and threw my leg over him, straddling him. His hands gripped my hips. But the expression on his face told me he had really thought about this. He had already made the decision without even speaking to me.
“Don’t ever pull away from the club. Don’t second-guess yourself. You don’t know how happy you make me wearing this vest.” I ra
n my hands over his vest. My hand paused over his heart. “It feels like home to me. Don’t ever take that from me.”
He might think he was saving me when really, he’d really be cutting me off from the only life I had ever known. I saw his expression change.
“You’re incredibly loyal, you know that, Kim?” His hand went to my face. “You’re more loyal to this club than me.”
“It’s in my veins.” I lowered my forehead to his. “And so are you.” My two weaknesses. Family and Trigger. I’d break easily for either if anyone applied pressure to them.
Chapter 25
Abby
I felt his arm go around me, pulling me back to his chest and my eyes went wide. Oh my god, not again. I waited for his hands to go lower. I knew what followed this. I knew what happened when he touched me. Fear swallowed me completely. I could get through this one more time. I could do that.
I was so stiff from fear that I was barely breathing. I wished he would just go back to hitting me. I would take anything over being raped.
“Abby, you alright?”
Kade’s voice was concerned. It was Kade. It wasn’t Jake. It came back to me quickly. I was in Kade’s bed. I was with Kade. He wouldn’t hurt me. I closed my eyes, taking a much-needed breath in.
“Abby?”
“Um, yeah, I’m fine. I thought…” I stopped talking. I hadn’t told Kade that Jake had raped me and I had never told him that we shared a bed. So I couldn’t just say to him right now, hey, I was freaking out thinking you were Jake about to rape me.
“You thought?”
“Nothing,” I lied and my hand went to his. Suddenly I needed him to hold me tighter. I rolled over, needing to see his face. It was Kade. How the hell could I forget I was in his bed? I ran my fingers over his jaw. “You didn’t come to bed till late.” I remembered going to sleep by myself.
He kissed my forehead. “Sorry. Trust me, I wanted to be with you.”
He didn’t have to be sorry. I knew he was busy. He had barely taken his eyes off me since I got back. So I knew his duties as mother charter president were adding up.
“You should focus on the club today,” I said, knowing that he should have been doing that from the start. “I’ll be fine with Tyson.”
“Nah, I’m spending the day with you.”
“Kade, you can’t ignore your duties.” I quickly kissed his lips. “Focus on the club. I’m not planning on going anywhere today. So I’ll be around.” Suddenly I was feeling sick.
“Do you want to talk about it?”
“What?”
“Whatever has you getting out of bed and leaving me?” I heard him say, but I was already running for the bathroom.
I just made it to the toilet and emptied the contents of my stomach. Why the hell was I being sick? I hadn’t eaten anything that would upset my stomach. Actually, come to think of it, I’d had nausea the last couple of days.
My eyes widened. I couldn’t be, could I? I thought I was going to be sick again and this time it wasn’t because of nausea. It was because I could be pregnant.
“Abby, you alright?”
He was standing behind me and I felt him pull my hair back. My luck couldn’t seriously be that bad, could it? I couldn’t be pregnant.
“Abby?”
“Um, yeah, I’m fine. Just not used to eating,” I lied, and stood up. Why was it that all I did was lie to him? Since I got back, I swore all I did was lie. I lied that I was fine. I lied that nothing was on my mind. I lied about what happened to me. And when I was lying, I was scared stiff.
I rinsed out my mouth and looked in the mirror and saw Kade’s reflection. The anger in his eyes was scorching. But it wasn’t directed at me. It was directed at a dead man.
“Um, so, about today. I actually do have to go out for something, but apart from that I’ll be around.” I turned around. “My car can be driven now, right?”
Kade looked up. “Yeah, it’s back on the road. Don’t know how I feel about you going anywhere by yourself, though.”
“Well, it has to happen one day, doesn’t it?”
“Doesn’t have to be today, though. I can come with you.” He took a step closer and reached out for me.
It had to be today. I had to know if I was pregnant or not. And I couldn’t just buy a test and do it in front of him, now, could I?
“I’ll be fine. I’ll even carry a gun. You have to focus on the club.” I kissed his cheek. “Seriously, I just need to pop into a store. I’ll be less than half an hour and then I’ll be back to being a couch blob with Tyson.”
“Let me send someone with you.”
“I’m more skilled with a gun than half your men.”
“I don’t like the idea of you going anywhere,” Kade looked me in the eye, “especially without me. In fact, I was counting on you spending the rest of your life at the club under my eye.”
I laughed. “That won’t be happening.”
“Why not?” He was serious right now. Like I had to be cut off from the world because he was that scared he would lose me again.
“No one is going to touch me and this time I won’t be defenseless. Now I’m getting dressed and heading out. The sooner I leave, the sooner I am back. Anyway, you should be focusing on the club, not me.”
“I couldn’t give a fuck about the club right now.”
I walked around him. “Don’t say that shit.” I wouldn’t let him downplay the way he loved this club. “You’re the mother charter president now. You can’t say you don’t care. All the clubs depend on you doing your job.”
I pulled my shirt off and I was about to take my shorts off till I remembered what was on my leg. How long could I put off him seeing it?
I walked into the wardrobe and was looking for a dress that was long. Why did I own so many short dresses? All he had to do was run his hand up my thigh. He wouldn’t just feel my scars and wounds, he would see them too in these dresses.
I finally found a long dress. It was black and still had tags on it. I would take a guess and say Kim had bought it and it somehow ended up in my closet.
“I’d rather spend the day with you.”
“Kade, you have spent so much time with me. You must be sick of seeing me.” I threaded my arms through the dress and pulled it down. As soon as it was down, I pulled down my shorts and stepped out of them.
I grabbed the knife that I used to have strapped to my leg. I put the strap on, securing it in place. I was wearing a long dress. It wasn’t like anyone could see it.
I didn’t know how much longer I could put off Kade seeing my thigh but I knew as soon as he did, he would have questions. The look that I knew would cover his face, well, it made me feel sick just picturing it.
His arms wrapped around me. “I could never get sick of you.” He lowered his forehead to mine, looking me in the eye. “Not after what happened. I don’t want you out of my sight.”
I brushed my lips against his. “You won’t ever be without me again.” As if my son knew I needed to get moving, I heard him cry. “Tyson and I’ll be gone half an hour. You can even time me and if I’m a second longer you can put me on lockdown when I get back.”
“I like the idea of you being on lockdown.”
I pulled away from him. “Where are my car keys?”
“In the garage. You sure you’re alright to drive?”
“Of course,” I threw over my shoulder and headed for Tyson. He was looking at me with wide eyes and a smile. “Hey, gorgeous boy.” I swear I would never get enough of him. I never thought I could love someone as much as I loved Kade, but Tyson was right up there.
“I’ve never seen you in a long dress before.”
I had just picked up Tyson and was about to turn around but didn’t. My eyes went wide as he said that. Had he noticed yet that he hadn’t seen me without bottoms on? My thigh was always covered.
“Um, just a change.” I turned around with a large fake smile on my face. “I
swear, your son is getting cuter every day.”
“Yeah, he takes after his mother.” Kade crossed his arms, looking at me with so much love, like Tyson and I were his whole world.
I wished I deserved him loving me like that. But after everything I had been through, I didn’t deserve the love in his eyes.
“We’re going.” I picked up the diaper bag and my handbag. I kissed Kade on the cheek. “Seriously, I’m telling you, half an hour. If I’m longer, you can give me the longest lecture.”
His hand wrapped around my waist. “You might think I won’t notice if you’re longer. But you are wrong. I’ll be watching the clock. Half an hour. Any longer and I’ll personally be coming out looking for you.”
I smiled at Kade being so controlling. Now to get a pregnancy test and be back in half an hour.
***
I was normally a great driver, maybe a bit slow sometimes. But normally I was fine. Well, it seemed Reaper was right. I shouldn’t have been back behind the wheel. I had made it into town, but now I was frozen at an intersection.
The light was red and everything that happened last time I was in this car came flooding back to me hard and fast. I could barely breathe. My hands were shaking. The van slamming into the side of my car. The sound of crashing metal. The noise of the bullets. The feeling of the glass shattering across my body.
The fear I felt as I was ripped from the car.
The cars behind started beeping. Right. The light was green. I had to drive.
The cars were beeping again and everything was too much. My whole body was shaking at this point. I had to get off the road. My foot hit the accelerator. As soon as I was out of the intersection, I pulled the car over.
Cars passed me, still honking their horns.
I was in town.
I had made it. I looked at the dashboard. I had twenty minutes. I couldn’t waste time. How the hell was I going to explain me not driving back? I knew a little about cars after spending so much time with Brad. So maybe I could fake something?
I could say it just stopped going. But that wouldn’t hold up long when Brad looked it over and found nothing wrong with it. No, I had to fake something.