by Bella Andre
“There’s Karmen.” Mrs. Sanchez pointed.
“I thought she was a medic.”
“She still had to carry a gun when she went out in the field with the men.” Mrs. Sanchez blinked rapidly, until finally she smiled again. “Those men depended on her, and she wanted to be right out there giving them aid.”
Ari picked out Zach Smith in the photo next. And then, she finally recognized Gideon standing next to Karmen. She’d remembered him as the boy he’d been, the older brother. But this was a man, broader in the chest, with hard life experience in his eyes.
She held out the photo for Matt to see. “That’s my brother.” Her eyes stung with tears.
Mrs. Sanchez touched her hand. “My daughter sent us photos, of course, but there was something extra special about hearing about her from a comrade who knew her over there. Your brother told us how many lives she saved and said she was a brave soldier. It’s exactly what Karmen would have wanted the men and women she served with to say about her.”
“I’m sure she was one of the best,” Ari said softly.
She shifted to the next picture, this one of five soldiers in full gear. Ari picked out Karmen and Gideon immediately. Her heart stilled all over again.
“Your brother said that was his team, even if Karmen wasn’t actually under his command, and sometimes they were assigned other medics.”
God. His team—they were all gone except Gideon. One of the men looked a little older—probably the married one with children. And the other two, despite their gear, didn’t look much older than Gideon had been when he left. All of them gone.
The packet of photos trembled in Ari’s hand as she moved to the next one. The group was larger this time, maybe fifteen or so, and the backdrop was unidentifiable—the inside of a tent perhaps, she couldn’t be sure. Dressed in fatigues minus the gear and helmets, they all wore big smiles, laughing, arms thrown across each other’s shoulders. Once again, Karmen stood next to Gideon, his arm around her just as it was around the man next to him.
But he was turned slightly toward Karmen, looking down at her. Ari felt a hitch below her ribs, knowing without a doubt that Gideon had been in love with her. And when she’d died along with the rest of his team, he would have believed it was his fault.
It wasn’t true, of course. It was war.
But the woman he’d loved was still dead.
Ari gripped Matt’s hand more tightly, and when she looked into his eyes, she knew he’d seen the same thing in the picture. Thank God he was here with her and she didn’t have to do this alone.
More than ever, she needed to find her brother, to show him he wasn’t alone either.
Though Mrs. Sanchez obviously missed her daughter with all her heart, she managed to keep herself together where a lesser woman would have fallen apart. She showed them the wall of pictures along the upper hallway—Karmen as a baby, a young girl, a teenager, a prom queen, a soldier. She was obviously an only child, though in many of the photos she was surrounded by cousins, aunts, uncles, and grandparents. There were pictures of her in dress uniform with her parents. She had her mother’s face and her father’s smile. She’d been a beautiful young woman full of promise, and she had given all that promise for her country.
“She never complained about the dust and dirt.” Mrs. Sanchez smiled, her eyes far away with memory. “She’d been such a girly-girl. Always the perfect party dress, the perfect hair, the perfect makeup. But Gideon said she was perfectly happy to be one of the guys.”
“I’m so glad he was able to share his stories with you.”
Ari barely held back tears. Only by reminding herself that she was on the same path her brother had walked, and that she might find him around the next corner, was she able to keep herself together.
When they’d finished the pot of coffee and the plate of pastries, Ari said, “Thank you—we’ve taken so much time.”
“You haven’t. You’ve helped me remember Karmen all over again. In the rush of the day, we sometimes forget to just sit and remember.”
“And you’ve helped me remember my brother.” Ari gave Mrs. Sanchez an impulsive hug.
“I hope you find him, dear. If he should ever call again, I’ll tell him how to reach you.”
“Thank you. For everything.”
After they’d said their good-byes and Matt had walked Ari down the steps to his car, she turned suddenly, went up on her toes, and threw her arms around him.
“Thank you,” she whispered against his neck as he rubbed his hands up and down her back. “He was just a boy when he left. Now I know the man he turned into.” She pulled back and looked into Matt’s eyes. “He’s out there.” Determination fueled her. “And we’re going to find him.”
“I’ll do everything in my power.” But he frowned slightly. “I’m concerned that he hasn’t called Mrs. Sanchez in two years, though.”
She understood his unease, but she couldn’t give in to it. “I was just a little girl the last time I saw my brother, but I know how deeply he would take the responsibility for his team—even when he couldn’t have saved them. If he’s gone into hiding, it’s because he hasn’t come out of the dark place he fell into when his friends died. He needs me to show him that it wasn’t his fault. That there’s someone out there who loves him unconditionally.” And she needed her brother too. “Look at Mrs. Sanchez. She’s lost so much, and yet what Gideon brought her has meaning for her to this day. I can show him that people still love him.”
“Any way I can help you, Ari, I will.”
She smiled up into Matt’s beautiful eyes. “You already have, more than you’ll ever know.”
* * *
After dinner at a local Italian restaurant, they’d just finished wishing Noah good night over the phone, when Rafe Sullivan texted again to say he’d had luck with another name on Zach Smith’s list. Ralph Esterhausen’s wife lived in Lancaster, about an hour and a half south. Ari’s stomach was jumpy with anticipation—and hope—that Mrs. Esterhausen might have heard from Gideon more recently than Karmen’s mother had.
Matt immediately called, leaving a message when no one answered. “If I don’t get a callback tonight,” he told Ari, “we’ll head down tomorrow morning and call again on the way.”
The hotel Matt found for them wasn’t a five-star Regent, but it was far better than the kind of roadside motel Ari could afford. And when he asked if she wanted separate rooms before they checked in, she answered him with a kiss that made words completely moot.
The past two days hadn’t been all sunshine and rainbows, but even the hard parts were bearable with Matt beside her. Seeing all those photographs, running her fingers over Gideon’s image, and knowing he’d called Mrs. Sanchez for years, made Ari believe more strongly than ever that they’d find him.
Just as she knew deep in her heart that Matt was so much more than a one-night stand.
His touch, his gaze—and especially his kisses—told her that she mattered to him. She loved the way he’d held her hand as they talked with Mrs. Sanchez, as if she belonged to him. As if he understood how badly she needed his solid presence beside her.
After seeing the pictures today, Ari was certain her brother had lost a woman he’d cared about deeply—and that it had devastated him. If Gideon had known how it all would end, would he have kept his heart safe? Or would he have fallen for Karmen anyway?
But Ari already knew the answer. Her brother would have risked his heart no matter what.
Just the way she was risking hers for Matt.
If it one day turned out that she’d misjudged Matt’s feelings…well, she’d deal with it when she had to. But right now, all she wanted was to confirm the beauty of life by making love to him over and over, then falling asleep in his arms.
Their room had a king-size bed, a small sofa under a bay window, and a big bathtub. “I made sure they gave us the room with the largest tub available.” He cupped her cheek, his lips so close to hers, his body warm, enticing. “Why don’t you tak
e a bath while I run a few errands?”
“Errands?” Instead of getting naked with her right this second?
He was planning something, and judging by the burn in his eyes, it had to be good. And he knew her well—a few minutes to decompress from the high emotions of their day would be nice.
“Yes.” He kissed her for long, sweet moments, their breaths almost one. “Errands.”
“And after your errands?” She let her heated question hang between them.
He gave her one more wicked smile—and a kiss so hot it started a fire inside of her—then left.
Slipping into lavender bathwater a few minutes later, she closed her eyes and went over everything she’d learned about her brother. When sorrow threatened, she pushed it away.
Close. She was so close. Not only to finding Gideon—but so much closer to Matt too.
Being with him like this was her dream come true, as well as everything Rosie and Chi had warned her she couldn’t have. But they were wrong. She had it right now.
And she wasn’t letting go.
Chapter Twenty-One
Ari had just climbed out of the bath when Matt returned. By the time she walked into the bedroom, wrapped only in a thin bathrobe, she found him sitting on the small sofa, a bottle of champagne in an ice bucket and a plate covered with a cloth napkin on the coffee table in front of him.
He didn’t say anything, just gazed at her with such heat she actually lost her breath. “Should I put on some clothes?”
“No.”
Oh God, just one little two-letter word was enough to make her whole body tingle. She bit her lip, wishing she were experienced enough to know the next move to make. But then she remembered his hand engulfing hers as he sat beside her today, sharing her emotions, soothing her, simply being there, as if nothing else was more important than that moment—and everything eased.
“Come here.” His deep voice was full of so much sinfully hot promise that her legs trembled as she crossed the room, the robe still tied tightly around her waist.
“Have some champagne.”
He poured one glass for her, one for him. The burn in his gaze scorched her as she sipped, the bubbles going straight to her head.
His eyes followed her every move, lingering on her lips while she drank and tracking her when she set down the glass. “Good?”
She nodded, licking the sweetness from her lips.
“And about to get so much better,” he murmured. “I’m going to make you feel so good you won’t think of anything but my touch. My kiss. My body inside you. I want to help you to forget everything bad. Tonight there will be only this, us, together.” He dropped his voice even lower. “Now take off your robe. Slowly.”
As he leaned back, stretching his arms along the sofa, Ari’s heart beat so hard she could feel the pulse in her fingertips. No one but Matt had looked at her as though she was the sexiest thing he’d ever seen and he wanted to devour every inch of her.
Instead of untying the robe’s sash, she slowly slid the fabric off one shoulder, revealing the swell of one breast as well.
“Perfect.”
God, his voice, that word, his eyes on her. She pushed the robe off her other shoulder, letting the thin terrycloth fall to the upper curves of her breasts. Turning her back to him, she glanced over her shoulder, then shrugged and the robe fell to her hips, leaving her naked to the waist.
“So pretty.” His words were raw with need.
His voice turned her liquid inside. Under his gaze, she reached for the sash, only to have him stop her with another of his delicious commands. “My turn now.”
Rising from the couch, he stalked her, stopping so close behind her that her body tingled with static electricity. He palmed her breasts, and she gasped at the intimate sensation of his big, warm hands over her, his hard body behind her. He thumbed her nipples, turning them diamond tipped.
“Do you have any idea what you do to me? You make me burn.”
She was hypnotized by the harsh need in his voice, and by his touch as he leisurely, tantalizingly slid his hands down her rib cage and stomach to the fabric sash. Blood rushed so fast in her ears that she was dizzy with desire as he slowly undid the bow she’d tied.
Finally, the robe gaped open. A beat later, with fabric pooling at her feet, she was completely bared to him. Everything, from her body, to her heart.
To her soul.
He pressed one hot kiss to her shoulder, then followed it up with the sexiest of orders. “On the bed.”
She was naked. He was completely dressed. He was naturally dominant in bed—which she loved, so very much. But in their two precious nights together, he’d taught her how to take a little power for herself.
Bending over, her back to him, she stretched, slowly, deliberately, to grab the top of the bedspread. He groaned.
And she smiled.
After pulling the covers back all the way to the sheets, she crawled onto the bed until she was on all fours. Then she slipped down onto her haunches and looked over her shoulder.
His nostrils flared as though he was scenting her the way a lion tracks his mate. “On your back.” His words were barely a whisper on the air. “Then close your eyes and put your arms over your head.”
She turned, lay back, and closed her eyes, her body buzzing with desire as she lifted her arms to the pillow.
“Are you ready, baby?” His voice seemed to stroke her, the sheets beneath her heating slowly as she lay there.
“Yes.”
The bed dipped, and he slipped something over her eyes. Cool and smelling like lavender—she realized it was a gel eye mask. As good as a blindfold.
With a caress of soft cloth, he bound her right wrist, pulling her arm higher until she was restrained. He did the same with her left wrist, then put his hands on her ankles. “Do you trust me?”
She couldn’t speak, could only nod. But that was good enough for him as he gently spread her legs and tied her ankles down too.
* * *
She was so damned gorgeous, her limbs spread, her skin creamy and flushed with arousal. He wanted to dive on her, take his fill, drown in her, make her scream. Yet he wanted it slow too, wanted to build her to a climax that would rock her world and his. He wanted to worship her body for hours.
And more than anything, he wanted to erase the sorrows of today. Yes, she’d learned a great deal about her brother, but even being the most positive and hopeful person he’d ever met, the dead ends racking up one after the other had to be a killer.
The champagne, the blindfold—and everything else he’d bought—were a temporary escape. As much as he could possibly give her.
“Is this okay?” He didn’t want to frighten her, but he’d found that when sight was taken away and movement was impossible, all the other senses kicked in, intensifying every sensation.
“I’m a million times better than okay.”
Did she have any idea what her eagerness did to him? Especially when it was so perfectly matched to his. “Tell me the moment you’re not. And I’ll stop.”
“Don’t stop.” Her lips were luscious, begging him to taste them. “Please don’t stop.”
He leaned in for a kiss, realizing too late that it was a huge miscalculation. Because one kiss was more than enough to drag him all the way under, rather than allowing him to continue to tease and tempt her until all thoughts but pleasure were driven from her mind. So when his cell phone rang just then, he realized answering it just might be the perfect way to drive her absolutely crazy.
“I’ve got to take this.”
For a moment, she was completely silent, her head turned slightly toward his voice. Then she said, “What?” with total disbelief. “While I’m lying here spread-eagled?”
“It won’t take long.” He grinned. “And while I’m on the call, I want you to lie there thinking about what I’m going to do to you.”
“But—”
He laid his hand gently over her mouth as he picked up the call. “Bruce,
thanks for calling me back. I take it you’ve had a look at the spreadsheet I sent over?”
She didn’t make a sound, simply licked his palm—and the shock was so great, so hot, that he almost forgot about Bruce altogether. He simply wanted, his body hard and raging.
Barely listening to his accountant’s response, Matt dragged his fingers down to her knee, only to slide up once more, this time gently slipping his palm over her hot, wet center. She stifled a moan, her body shifting restlessly.
“Sounds good, Bruce,” Matt said, trailing fingers over her abdomen, her skin jumping beneath his touch. “Thanks for taking a look at it so fast.”
By the time he hung up the phone, Ari was writhing on the bed. And it was so damned good, exactly what he’d wanted—to give her long minutes, even hours, where there were no bad things and no sorrow.
Just all the pleasure he had to offer.
* * *
Everything was sharper like this—the sound of Matt’s voice, the feel of his hands. She couldn’t see, could barely move. But she could feel him with every sense. And that made it all the more powerful.
His touch on her while he talked to his business associate had been so hot—and so unlike the calm, intelligent businessman and loving father. She loved how, on the road, his outer mask was falling away to reveal the sexy, predatory male he was at his core.
Hearing the sound of his clothes being tossed across the room, one piece after the other, she couldn’t wait for the taste of him, for the feel of his skin against hers as she dragged him inside her. But when the bed dipped a moment later, rather than his hands and mouth on her, the touch was as light and airy as…a feather.
“Tell me how it feels,” he urged as he stroked her nipples, swirling around them.
“Sexy.” Especially when she felt the downy caresses on her breasts. “So soft it makes me crazy.”
He played along her arms, her belly, her thighs, her knees, and down to the soles of her feet, making her tremble as though her entire body was an erogenous zone. Then he ran the feather between her thighs, the fleeting touch sparking off minor explosions along the surface of her skin.