by Bella Andre
His gaze roamed her face before he finally nodded. “I won’t be one of those people telling you to put up your guard.” He paused, probably considering how to phrase what he felt she needed to hear. “But I also don’t want you to get hurt. I sure as hell hope he’ll realize how good you could be for him—and for Noah.”
“You really think I’d be good for them?” It meant more than she could say that one of Matt’s closet friends—one of his brothers, especially Daniel—believed in her.
“Of course I do.” He smiled again, his gruffness fading beneath the upturning of his lips. “And if he hurts you, I’m going to beat the crap out of him. We all will.”
She laughed, but it sounded a little soggy. “When you suggested me for the position as his nanny, I never meant for things to turn out this way.”
Daniel pulled her in close, almost rocking her off her feet with his hug. “I know you didn’t. You would never be one of those women who aims at a man’s dollar signs or his big house. You took the job because you love kids and you could see how much Matt needed you. Everything else that happened…” He shook his head. “It’s starting to seem like divine intervention. Like you were meant to come into their lives when they needed you most. But if he’s not being as good to you as you are to him”—he shook his fist—“we’ll smack some sense into him.”
She wanted to laugh. She could actually have cried. Daniel was going to bat for her, even against one of his best friends, if it came to that. After all those years of feeling like she didn’t have anyone, it was almost too much to believe.
“Now come back over to the fire.”
He led her down to the fire pit and into the circle of his family.
The family she’d always wished for. Not just for one night.
But forever.
* * *
Matt hung back at the head of the stairs leading up from the game room. He’d searched downstairs and outside for Ari only to find her here, surrounded by his family. Laughing with them. Totally accepted by them.
The Frankensteins were once again a family, and Noah was poking the bolts at Jeremy’s neck. Wearing a Dracula costume, Sebastian wrapped his cloak around Charlie and was playing with the strange gloves she wore. Bob was chatting with Daniel, while Susan was in a lively discussion with Ari.
Only Evan stood just outside the group, his gaze on his wife’s sister, Paige. Steam practically wafted off the guy, and Matt wondered if he blamed Paige for Whitney’s change of mind about coming to the party. Or maybe he was wishing that Whitney was more like her sister—not just that Paige was a sweet, good person, but in that she wanted to be one of the family.
Ari, Matt realized, had already become part of the family. As the party raged around them, the Mavericks were now their own group—and they’d automatically taken Ari into their midst, where she fit like another cog in their expanding wheel. Noah climbed onto her lap, and she cuddled him.
Downstairs, Matt’s friends had gone to bat for her, threatening him if he didn’t treat her right. And so they should—they knew better than anyone what a mess he was inside.
All he wanted was to treat Ari as well as she deserved. But what was best for her? To be with him—and Noah—including a whole bunch of baggage, not the least of which was Irene and the havoc she would cause from here to eternity? Or to find a man who was whole, dependable, and solid—a normal guy who would take care of her, one who would give her children all her own rather than asking her to raise another woman’s son?
A muscle jumped in Matt’s jaw as the difficult, conflicted questions spun around his usually logical mind. He was a man who always had an answer for everything—who’d built a billion-dollar business with those answers.
But tonight, he knew only one thing for sure: He couldn’t let Ari go. Not yet, not even when he couldn’t clearly see the answers to his future.
Not even if a better man would set her free.
* * *
Noah slept in the backseat all the way home, and after Matt carried him upstairs, he still slept while they wrestled him out of his T-Rex suit and tucked him in.
In the hallway, Matt took Ari’s hand. “We need to talk.”
She nodded, ready to burst since she’d talked with Daniel. “Daniel knows. How did he find out?”
Matt’s sigh was loud in the hallway. “He saw us coming out of the changing room. And he was with Evan, Will, and Sebastian. I shouldn’t have dragged you down there.”
Her fingers went stiff in Matt’s hand. She should have realized they’d all known after Daniel talked to her. But while she was embarrassed at being found out by the entire Maverick crew, she also couldn’t forget that Daniel hadn’t been angry. He’d actually welcomed her and given her hope.
“I wanted it as much as you did, so you didn’t drag me anywhere.” She shook her head. “But I don’t want to cause trouble between you and your friends.”
He frowned. “How could you possibly do that?”
“Daniel said he threatened to beat you up.”
The last thing she expected was Matt’s smile. “They all threatened me if I don’t treat you right.” He pulled her against him. “I told them how special you are and that I don’t want to hurt you.”
But he hadn’t told them he loved her—just as he hadn’t said it to her. She sucked a burning breath into her lungs.
Patience. She knew he needed time. But, God, it was hard. Especially now that everyone knew she was head over heels for him.
As if he could read her mind, he gently lifted her chin, forcing her to look at him. “Do you want to spend the night with me?”
“More than anything.” She was in love with him, and he was her favorite place to be in the world. “But what about Noah?”
“I can be quiet. Can you?”
She loved to cry out for him when he took her to heaven. But not if she woke up his son. “I’ll control myself.” At least she would try. “I meant in the morning, though. How should we handle things if he sees us together?”
“You can just get him up as usual. He doesn’t have to know anything.”
If he wasn’t ready to say he loved her, then of course he wouldn’t tell Noah either. But with every word, the pain dug deeper, no matter how much patience—and the relentless hope—she always strove for.
Hiding her disappointment with a smile, she made herself nod. “All right.”
“I know it’s your day off tomorrow, but will you spend it with us? We’ll do something fun.”
Her day off. It was a potent reminder that she was still the nanny, even if Matt hadn’t meant it that way. “I’d like that.”
He nuzzled her hair. “Good. Now come to my room, Ari. I’m dying to make love to you again.”
Just like that, his sensual commands had her heart thumping and her skin heating. She felt raw on the inside, but heading back to her empty bed tonight wasn’t even in the cards.
Inside his bedroom, Matt closed the door on the rest of the world. Mere seconds later her clothes were gone, his tux was off, and he’d lifted her into his arms, grabbing her up until she locked her ankles at his back. Walking her to the small sofa by the window, he settled her on his lap, and when she pulled up her knees to straddle him, he immediately entered her with his fingers, turning her into a wild animal. She didn’t cry out, but when sounds began to bubble up her throat, she kissed him, spilling her cries into his mouth, knowing she was meant for this.
For Matt.
He miraculously produced protection, always looking out for her even in the heat of the moment, then drove deep, filling her, making her his.
When the earth-shattering climax took them both, they muted their moans of pleasure against each other’s lips, kissing as if it were a vow.
For her, it was.
Chapter Twenty-Seven
The Sunday after Halloween, they went to Golden Gate Park. Ari had packed a picnic with Noah’s help—he’d even cut the tomatoes himself. The day was so gorgeous they ate sitting on a blan
ket that Matt spread on the grass, watching a laughing, giggling Noah chase butterflies.
Matt’s investigator was still searching for her brother, but Ari hadn’t brought up the subject of visiting the families of Gideon’s other fallen comrades. She still stung from their disaster with Mrs. Esterhausen, her stomach plunging with the memory of that day every time she thought of it.
She hadn’t given up—but she needed to be a heck of a lot stronger for the next round. And she knew nothing would get her there faster than being with Matt and Noah.
During the next work week, she followed the usual routine, taking Noah to school, playing with him, teaching him, loving him as if he were her own little boy. They swam in the heated pool and worked on riding his bike. He was almost ready, and she couldn’t wait to find the perfect moment to surprise Matt.
And then there were the nights—the long, delicious hours in Matt’s bed, waking to his touch in the morning, his lips on her skin, his fingers tracing her curves.
Somewhere along the way, she’d stopped praying he would say he loved her. It would happen when he finally believed he didn’t have to be Mr. Perfect in Absolutely Everything. For now, she simply treasured their moments together.
Well, except the early mornings, when she had to sneak out of Matt’s room… She felt like his dirty little secret every time she took her short walk of shame. He would hate to hear her call it that, but in the early rays of light as she made her way back to her room, it seemed the sun through the windows illuminated a truth she didn’t want to see.
* * *
The following Sunday, Charlie and Sebastian showed up from out of the blue in a big white pickup. Noah ran down the front steps and straight into Sebastian’s arms. Matt’s friend swung him round and round until the little boy was laughing and squealing with delight. Seeing Noah’s closeness to the other Mavericks made Ari’s eyes mist.
“We’ve got a surprise for you,” Charlie said, bending down to give Noah a hug after Sebastian finally set him on his feet. She was outfitted in steel-toed boots, overalls, and a flannel shirt.
“What? What?” Noah jumped up, down, and around.
Matt looked on indulgently. With Noah’s hand in hers, Charlie led him to the back of the truck and let down the tailgate. Then she picked him up, setting him in the truck bed to see.
Matt stepped forward, his hands out, as if he were afraid Noah might fall, but Charlie kept her hands steady on him.
Noah uttered a soft, reverent, “Wow.” Then he tipped his head down to Charlie. “What are they?”
“That one is a Stegosaurus.” She pointed to a spiny metal dinosaur with big plates behind its head. It was small enough for Noah to rest his hand on its back, the metal spines rounded so he wouldn’t cut his fingers. “And that’s a Brontosaurus.” With its long neck, Noah would have to reach up to touch its head. “The flying one is a Pterodactyl. Uncle Sebastian brought a chain to hang it from the big oak out by your playground.”
Noah turned to throw his arms around her neck. “Thank you, Aunt Charlie.”
She beamed, and Sebastian slipped his hand beneath the fall of her hair. The gesture was loving, congratulatory, and possessive all at the same time.
It was the way Ari wanted Matt to touch her in front of everyone. As though she was his—and he was proud of it.
“After the costume you wore at the Halloween party, I’ll have to make a mini T-Rex too.” Charlie smiled, the sun lighting her face as she looked up at Noah. Then she scooped the boy from the truck bed and set him on the pavement.
“Charlie, thank you.” Matt put his hand over his heart, as if thanking her from the bottom of it. “Making these must have taken so much time out of your schedule.”
She shrugged beneath Sebastian’s loving touch. “Whenever I needed a break from my other projects, the dinosaurs were a perfect filler.” She beamed up at Sebastian. “A wise man once told me I have to take time out for things that I feel a passion for.”
“Sage advice,” Matt agreed.
“And since Charlie’s also finished her monster T-Rex, we’re having an unveiling at the barbecue this afternoon.”
Sebastian’s look encompassed Ari as well, and she felt the glow of being automatically included. Matt had done the same that morning when he’d assumed she’d join them at the barbecue Charlie and Sebastian were throwing. As though she was family.
As though she was his.
“Wouldn’t miss it.” Matt took a step closer to her, and her heart raced even though he hadn’t touched her.
“All right, let’s get these guys unloaded.” Sebastian climbed into the truck bed.
Ari marveled with Noah while they set up the dinosaurs in the back garden. It was a perfect ending to a perfect week. A nearly perfect one, anyway. If only she could wait patiently for Matt to see clearly for himself that he loved her.
But she couldn’t deny that every loving glance between Sebastian and Charlie filled her with a deeper longing—and more impatience—to share the very same emotions with Matt.
* * *
With his son’s hand in his on the driveway as they waved good-bye to Charlie and Sebastian—and Ari only a touch away—for the first time in his life, Matt actually felt happy. Real happiness. It was more than the joy he always felt at being with Noah. For once, he felt content. Being with Ari was completely different from his time with Irene—not frantic and rushed, but sweet and miraculous.
These past weeks he’d been continually asking himself about love. Not just was this love? But could he love anyone right? Could he be there always, without mistakes?
In the end, it wasn’t their incredible lovemaking that made him see the truth. It was how endlessly patient Ari was with his son—and how patient she’d been with him, never pressuring him to say I love you. And though Matt wasn’t certain he’d do everything perfectly, he finally believed Ari wouldn’t give up on him even if he took a few small missteps.
At long last, he could see things clearly rather than through a haze of fear.
He loved Ari.
Loved her in a way he hadn’t known he was capable of after he’d lost his faith in the people who were supposed to care for him as a child.
Tonight. He’d tell her how he felt tonight after the barbecue, when she lay warm and soft in his arms.
The only thing marring his happiness was his total failure to give Ari her heart’s desire. It killed him that he hadn’t found her brother yet. But he would, damn it. He needed to make Ari as happy as she’d made him.
“Have I mentioned recently how happy you make me? How happy you make us?”
She beamed at him. “You make me deliriously happy too.” She bit her lip before adding, “Noah and I have a special surprise for you.” She held out her hand for Noah. He took it and skipped with her to the garage, where Ari punched in the code to open the door. “Stay right there,” she called out to Matt as they disappeared inside.
Matt turned up his face to the sun, reveling in its warmth the way he reveled in the heat of Ari’s smile.
“You can look now!” Ari’s voice was accompanied by Noah’s laughter.
Matt opened his eyes…and his heart choked his throat as he took in the near paralyzing sight of Noah hurtling toward the big slope of the driveway on his bike.
A two-wheeled bike that no longer had its training wheels.
“Remember to stay away from the hill, Noah,” Ari called.
But Noah was too excited to listen, and the bike gained speed. Too much speed.
Matt’s blood was like the roar of engines through his veins. Noah wore a helmet, but what if he barreled right out into the road?
“Noah!” Matt yelled, hit squarely by a vision of himself as a child, only a few years older than Noah, careening down a hill that was far steeper than he’d thought. “Stop!”
The gate was open to the street beyond it, and Noah was heading straight for it. Memories of agony and deep shame shrieked in Matt’s head as he started to run. His gaze shot
to the road for signs of a car, but no way could he get to his son in time. Even as he ran, he felt the remembered pain of all those years ago, heard the awful crack of his arm breaking, his father’s voice calling him an idiot, a weenie, a good-for-nothing sissy.
“Noah!” His son’s name screeched through the sunshine. A car, the road, the hill. Jesus, God, please no.
Just when he thought everything was lost, Ari was there, barring Noah’s way, her fists on the handlebars. “Now, Noah, you know the rules. You need to stay up top,” she said, chiding him softly. As if nothing cataclysmic or life-threatening had happened.
As if Matt hadn’t just lost years off his life.
“Did you see that, Matt?” Somewhere through his haze of fear and fury, he vaguely noticed that Ari and Noah beamed at him with excitement shining in their eyes. “Noah can ride without training wheels. We’ve been practicing so he could surprise you.” She didn’t seem at all frightened by what had almost happened. “He did great, don’t you think?”
It was hardly even a question. She simply expected Matt to agree, to congratulate Noah on his new skill—and to congratulate her for helping his son.
But Matt still couldn’t see straight. Not when the only thing in his vision was what might have been.
Noah crushed beneath a car.
Noah with broken limbs.
Noah with brain damage like Jeremy.
And not when all he heard were the things his father had shouted at him on that day long ago, as his arm screamed in pain and tears streaked his cheeks. Insults and abuse that were seared into Matt’s soul as deeply as his mother’s refusal to step in and help had been.
“What the hell did you think you were doing?” His voice was so deadly cold, so brutally sharp, that Ari stopped short, her smile instantly disintegrating.