Rubbing his temples he closed his eyes in frustration.
“Sorry” I repeated on a whisper.
He shook his head in disappointment and gave me a tortured look before he wrapped his arms around me gently and tenderly hugged me. “It’s okay E. It’s gonna be okay” he whispered as I started to shake now the high was coming down.
“Come on” he held out his hand to me and I squinted at it.
“Please Cam. I don’t really…”
He shook his head at me and I sighed before extracting the things I needed from the back of a drawer, things I hadn’t needed for eleven long weeks.
Cam opened his front door and I was relieved to find the house quiet. He placed a finger against his lips before leading Luce and me up the stairs and into the bathroom.
“I’ll be downstairs if you need me” he whispered. I nodded and closed the door behind him before Luce started to run the bath, expertly measuring the correct amount of oil before pouring it under the stream of water.
She didn’t speak to me. I knew at the moment it was safer not to talk to her either, her disappointment in me strained the atmosphere in the small room.
I climbed in the warm water, routinely crossed my arms over my chest and sank down slowly.
The sting took my breath and brought the tears.
“Oh E” Luce whispered sadly as I began to sob, heart wrenching disgusting sobs that tore through both our souls.
“I’m so sorry Luce, I…I…”
“Ssshhh Darlin’, it’s gonna be fine E. Everything will work itself out. I promise” she cried with me as she stroked my hair until we were both snotty and spent.
Luce helped me out of the bath and gently patted me down before turning my back to her so she could apply the cream onto my back.
“Fuck E, it’s really bad this time” she winced as she struggled to bring herself to apply the cream, not wanting to cause me any pain.
I nodded “Yeah…needed it…raw.”
She hissed through her teeth and I could feel her hand shake “You need to lay down E?”
Luce knew I usually zoned out at this stage and I could sense her anguish if I passed out on her while stood up.
“I’m good, I’ll hold onto the shower frame.”
She pulled in a large breath as I gripped each side of the cubicle and grit my teeth.
The first swipe of the cotton ball took my breath; the second made my knees buckle and the third brought a snarl.
“Shit E, I can’t do this.”
“Just do it Luce!” I hissed through clenched teeth.
She was trembling as I struggled to hold myself upright but she determinedly persevered and I loved her all the more for it.
I could feel myself sliding down the frame. “Fuck E, stay with me” Luce shouted.
“I’m trying….Lu…”
“CAM!!!!!”
The blackness took me to oblivion.
***
I woke laid out on my stomach, the cool air soothing my sore back and my mouth squashed against the pillow “Urghhh.”
“Ssshhh babe.”
Fuck!!!
I daren’t move. What the hell was I doing in Jax’s bed?
Shit! Shit! Shit!
His hand settled in my hair as he gently stroked down the length of it, soothing me.
CRAP!!!
Pushing myself up without giving him a glance, I clambered to my feet. Closing my eyes and biting down the shame of being naked in front of him.
“Babe! Lay down.”
Shaking my head I scurried around for my clothes, finding them in their usual spot on the chair.
“Why Babe?”
“I need to go” I whispered, still refusing to look at him or answer his question as I slipped into my blouse, wincing as it brushed against my welts.
“Babe!”
“WILL YOU STOP!!!” I screamed at him, humiliation and pain bringing fresh tears, ones that I refused to let him see.
His hands gripped my upper arms as he lifted me up and slung me back on the bed, his powerful frame caging me underneath him as his raging eyes pierced through me.
Turning my head to the side, I refused to look at him but his large hand gripped my jaw and forced me to look.
His eyes were dark and angry, his chest heaving vigorously as a warning snarl left his throat.
“Let me go” I grated through clenched teeth.
His head shook slowly “Talk!”
I gave him my best glare. His eyebrows rose in a silent dare and I closed my eyes, denying him the attention.
He settled above me, straddling my thighs and as I opened my eyes he was sat, arms crossed with a ‘whatever! I have all day’ expression.
“Fuck you!” I spat.
He leant down, his face an inch from mine and he still declined my need to look away.
“Why?”
“Screw you.”
“Why?”
“Go to hell!”
“Why?”
“Piss off!”
“WHY?”
“WHY?”
“BECAUSE I FUCKING NEED IT!” I eventually screamed.
“WHY?”
“GO FUCK YOURSELF!”
“WHY E?”
“BECAUSE I FUCKING DESERVE IT!!! OKAY, I DESERVE IT…every fucking piece of it. Every thrash, every sear, every fucking slice of pain…I deserve it…I deserve it…”
The keening noise came from somewhere in the room and I tilted my head to identify it. A sob tore through me as I realised it was coming from me, the long pitch echoing through my body.
He swept me up, pulled me in tight as his large arms framed me and gripped me so firmly I was sure he was breaking a rib.
“Ssshhh babe” he whispered as I cried against his chest, his strong powerful chest. A chest that made me safe, protected me and also broke my heart.
He let me cry for a long while, his fingers stroking through my hair as he whispered words of comfort in my ear, his relentless persistence to soothe me pulled me further into him and I knew I had to break free.
I drew back and lifted my face to his “Sorry.”
He shook his head slightly as he slipped his hand over my ear and held my head “Don’t be babe.” I looked away, didn’t want to see what was behind his eyes as I tried to pull free from him but he held me firm before his finger tilted my chin back.
His eyes blazed as he bit his bottom lip, his obvious struggle to hold back was consuming him and he wasn’t winning.
His mouth brushed mine so delicately I wondered if I had imagined it until it became firmer and I knew this wasn’t my imagination…this was real, very real.
His tongue demanded entry and as I opened to him he released a small groan and wrapped his fingers in my hair, twisting it almost painfully in his grip.
I returned his moan with one of my own and joined in the dance, sucking desperately on his tongue, telling him just how much I needed him before his teeth started to graze my neck, his stubble scratching deliciously against the heat of my skin.
“Fuck E, I need to be inside you so bad.”
I groaned at his words and pulled his head further into me, giving permission to his words.
Hell, I would give permission for anything if he made me feel like this.
His fingers found the buttons of my blouse and slowly, torturously began to undo them whilst I silently urged him to hurry the hell up.
“So fucking beautiful” he whispered as he opened my blouse to reveal my bare breasts.
The flat of his tongue slowly brushed over my pert nipple and I rewarded him by wrapping my legs around his hips and pulling him in. “Fuck babe.”
“Hurry Jax” I whispered “I need to feel you.”
A growl erupted from his throat as he unbuttoned my jeans and swiftly pulled them down my legs, along with my knickers, and as promised, he kissed each of the stars that decorated the outside of my right leg all the way up until he discovered the tiny diamond dermal piercing and ink
at the end of the trail.
“Holy shit” his nose rested against my mound “Fucking sexy babe.”
I lifted my hips, encouraging him to get on with it. I needed to feel him, feel his tongue on me.
Christ! I was gonna combust!
A long drawn out groan erupted from my chest as his tongue swiped the full length of my sex “Oh Goddd.”
“So good” he whispered before he began his torture, expertly working me into a fever as he sucked my clit then released it and fucked me with his tongue. Always so close but he wouldn’t let me go, refused to let me fly.
“Christ Jax!” I breathed.
He chuckled! The bastard chuckled!
He relented and began frantically flicking his tongue over my clit until I jumped; dived over the edge with an almighty explosion…I think I shook the bloody room.
“Fuck yeah babe, feel it” he growled as my hips lifted off the bed so high I wondered if I’d snap my spine.
“Oh Jesus” I wheezed as he reached into his side drawer and extracted a condom before stripping down and rolling it on.
He palmed my face tenderly as he nudged in slowly “You ready to take me babe?” He pushed a little deeper, “You ready to be fucked into extinction E?” A little further, “Cos’ I’m gonna make you fuckin’ scream babe.”
I groaned and rolled my hips at his unhurried pace.
My back arched and we both groaned in satisfaction as he pushed all the way in and filled me completely. “Christ” he rasped.
We lay unmoving, our eyes connecting and saying so much in the silence before he pulled back out slowly and slid back in, so easy, so deliberately and so god damn good.
“So tight babe, I can’t…”
His teeth sank into his bottom lip as he closed his eyes and rested his forehead against mine. “E” was all he said before he took control and worked me into a wild panting mess, whimpering with each powerful thrust as he drove me up the bed and into oblivion with his relentless rhythm.
“Fuck yes” I screamed as I felt my body tighten. “Give it up babe, give it me” he growled and I exploded around him, detonating his own violent climax as we both clawed and clung to each other, fighting to breathe.
“Fuckkkkk” he snarled out, his head flung back in ecstasy as I pulled him in, lifting my hips and grasping him tightly with my thighs, draining every bit of pleasure from him that I could.
His face dropped to my shoulder as he fought for equilibrium whilst I panted my way back to consciousness.
“Christ babe” he pulled out and rolled onto his back as he dragged me with him, pushing my head onto his chest before he took my hand in his and held it tight, threading his fingers through mine as his thumb stroked soothingly across my own.
His other hand came to rest on my back, just a natural stance but I hissed and tensed. “Shit babe, sorry.”
Shaking my head I squeezed his hand to reassure him.
Silence engulfed us and when it bore down a little too heavily I knew he wanted to talk so I did what I always did.
Diverted!
“I have stuff to do” the lie left my mouth easily and I hated myself for it.
“The hell babe!” he lifted my chin to look at him, his eyes were narrow and fierce as he shook his head slowly “Don’t do this E!”
Swallowing back the retort I flung myself out of bed “I said I have stuff to do Jax.”
He scoffed and then hissed “Babe. It’s really doesn’t look good from where I am.” I spun around so fast I nearly toppled over “Then don’t fucking look!”
The growl was fierce and I bit my lip in anguish. “Babe…”
Turning away from his warning, I squeezed my eyes shut, desperately trying to fight the urge to just give in, to just for one moment let it all flow out but I knew I couldn’t. I had this secret that needed to be taken to the grave with me. I owed him that much.
“Who the fuck did it?” he asked. There it was; the question I had seen in his eyes earlier.
“Don’t worry Jax, they enjoyed it too. They both screamed in fucking ecstasy as much as I did” I spat nastily, his relentless push tipping me over the edge.
I regretted it immediately.
His face tightened as his jaw twitched, his eyes darkened so much they appeared to be solid black and his fists clenched as he slowly climbed out of bed and stalked towards me, gradually backing me up against the wall.
Swallowing heavily I closed my eyes against his rage. “Open them” he growled.
“No” a whisper was all I could manage as my heart beat wildly against my chest.
“FUCKING-OPEN-THEM!!”
I opened them!
His fury was edible, the thickness it coated me with made me shiver and I gasped as he traced my cheek bone with his finger.
“Don’t ever talk like that again!” His intensity held the breath back in my lungs “You hear me babe?”
“Yeah I hear ya’” I whispered back. He nodded once “We need to talk babe, but when you’ve calmed the fuck down.”
“I can’t Jax” I winced when his eyes flinted.
“You can babe and you will” he pushed off the wall, pulled on his jeans and left.
Just fucked right off!
Nice!
CHAPTER 12
“We ready to ROCK THE ROOM?” Jax led the rowdy crowd into Room 103’s signature track and I risked a glance at him from my spot behind the bar. His masculine beauty captured my breath and I pushed back the urge to touch him, just touch him.
The craving for him hadn’t subsided since he had taken me this morning and I was angry at myself for the reactions I was feeling towards him.
Jax didn’t do relationships, Hell, a girl was lucky if he invited her back for seconds and I wasn’t stupid enough to think I was any different.
I watched him as he worked the crowd, feeding them as he consumed them.
“Help me feed it, feed it, serve it, the growl to open the tomb
Yeah, yeah, yeahhhhhh
Make me feel it, feel it, touch it, while we Rock the Room”
“E” my eyes shifted to the guy sat on a stool watching me warily.
“Austin” he must have seen the stiffening of my shoulders and the flint of fear behind my eyes but he didn’t respond to it “What can I get you?”
“Jack and coke” I nodded and fixed his drink and as I placed it on the bar in front of him his fingers wrapped around mine.
I heard Jax’s voice stutter and I shot him an ‘I’m okay’ look. He nodded once but continued to watch us. I turned back to Austin as he started to say something “I…God, I’m no good at this…I just wanna apologise, you know for…”
I pursed my lips and frowned “You need to apologise to Melissa, not me Austin.”
He shook his head marginally and I noticed he still held my hand under his so I slid it back, gently releasing myself from his grip. “I’m not supposed to go near her. That’s why I’m here; I need you to tell her something…”
I shook my head firmly “I don’t think that’s a good idea Austin.”
His teeth sank into his bottom lip and I noticed the glint filter through his eyes.
Christ, this guy really needed to invest in some anger management!
“Please E, you have class with her” I shook my head at him “I’m sorry Austin.”
“God damn it E!” he snarled nastily.
I flinched inwardly at his tone but remained outwardly impassive, not wanting to alert Jax to my concern but his hand clenched around my arm and he practically pulled me over the bar, my small legs kicking the air behind me as my body slid across the beer slops on the old wooden counter. “Just fucking do it” he growled as a loud screech sounded from the stage speaker and guitar amp.
Austin was dragged across the room by his hair, Jax’s fingers gripping so tightly I could make out his white knuckles. Boss, Bulk and Romeo followed behind, their wrath physically touchable in the air as every single eye in the room watched the commotion.
> “Shit” Rachel said from behind me, making me jolt in surprise. “Yeah…Shit!” I repeated.
Twenty minutes later the band walked back in, walked over to the stage and resumed their act.
Nothing happened here Officer!
***
“Okay babe?” Jax’s voice came from over the bar while I was crouched down under it refilling the shelves.
Z Bar was closed but the boys were still packing their kit away whilst I cleaned and restocked and to be honest I was grateful of their company.
I looked up to be met by his face peering over the edge of the counter at me, a wide smile on his glorious face. I grinned back up at him and nodded “…12…13…14…15…16…” I held a finger up and counted loudly to indicate I would be just a second.
“19…18…17…16…15…” he smirked. I closed my eyes and counted in my head, trying desperately to shut him out “…14…13…12…”
“Arghhhh, you…”
His deep laugh brought a smile to my face and I stood up and swat his arm. He grabbed my wrist and pulled me over the bar…Jeez, again!
His mouth crashed over mine, his lips working me into a hot wanton mess as his dominant work-over made my knees tremble.
“Carry on, I don’t mind watching” Boss shouted from across the room but Jax didn’t pull back, in fact he seemed to do the opposite. His hands settled on my upper arms as he dragged me fully over the bar and perched me on the edge.
I wrapped my legs around him as his hand slid into my hair and wrenched me harder against him.
My intense arousal brought a groan forward and Jax replied with a growl as his arms spanned my waist and he lifted me off the bar and walked us towards the stockroom, his lips never leaving mine and I wondered how the hell he could see where he was going?
Shocking Heaven Page 8