Shocking Heaven

by Sidebottom, D. H.

  I sort of coughed as my legs trembled. “You want me?” I choked out.

  He laughed and nodded happily “Yep, Miss Hudson. We want you too.”

  My eyes widened and all I could think of was if I’d get my teeth whitened.

  Maybe? I mean they would look better for it, even though they were quite decent, a little whitening never hurt.

  Six weeks later our song shot to number 1 in the British charts and it stayed there for nine weeks.

  ***

  Over the next six months, Room 103 had three number one hits, made an album that shot straight in at number two and we were currently on tour of the British Isles, performing at all the major cities from north to south…in an upgraded tour bus though.

  We had made music videos, had interviews with top talk show host’s and had many photo shoots and even been asked to perform at a charity concert.

  I had dropped university and had become either a backing singer for Jax or a joint lead vocal on a few songs. I had a small solo part in our new song ‘Bring it home’ but what had mostly amazed me over the previous months was the attention I received from our fans.

  They seemed to adore me.

  For some strange reason.

  I received gift after gift as well as huge appreciation from them when I sang at our concerts and I had even been approached by a top cosmetic company asking if I would be the face for one of their products.

  It had all been overwhelming and a little surreal but we were doing great and we coped with everything like professionals.

  The only thing I hated was the lack of privacy and the god damn groupies who hung onto Jax like withdrawing leeches, at every bloody moment, even though we were notorious as a couple.

  Mine and Jax’s relationship had gone from strength to strength and our love had grown to a level that neither of us wanted to break from. It consumed us as well as fed us and I loved him with my very soul and he loved me with all his heart.

  Boss had been hinting that Jax was going to be asking me the biggie and I had slapped him for letting it slip, but I was secretly excited and every time he took me out or we had a romantic moment I was on tenterhooks waiting for him to ask.

  ***

  We were in London, just after performing the last concert of our summer tour when we received a phone call that would change everything.

  Jax and I had just climbed into bed, exhausted from a gruelling few months of back to back concerts, but desperate for a quickie when I heard a yell from the living area on the tour bus.

  Boss and Bulk were screaming wildly like children on E numbers and fizzy pop and Jax groaned as he elevated himself from my breasts.

  I quickly pulled his head back down “Ignore them, Bulk will have scored on Fifa.”

  Jax chuckled as he pulled a nipple back into his mouth and I moaned in appreciation. His tongue circled as his teeth nibbled and I was soon squirming my hand under his boxers and yanking them down his legs.

  We were both always horny after a concert and I knew why the other band members hooked up with the many groupies.

  The adrenaline from a show always quickly turned into arousal once we came down from the high and Jax was like an animal…I was never quite sure where he got all his sexual energy from.

  Not that I complained…of course!

  Rolling us both over I straddled him and slid down on him immediately, causing us both to groan in satisfaction.

  I rode him hard as he grabbed my hips and rocked upwards, spearing me brutally.

  “Fuck yeah” he growled as I spun round so my back was to him and continued to pump myself wildly on him.

  He sat up behind me and brought his hands around to cup my breasts, teasing my nipples with his fingers as my orgasm built briskly.

  “Fuck Jax” I whimpered when I suddenly found myself on all fours and Jax now thrusting into me deep and hard.

  “You. Like. It. Hard.” He roared between each thrust as he grabbed my hair and yanked me upright.

  “Ride me babe” he ordered and I didn’t argue as I drove us wild and just as my climax hit, the bedroom door flew open.

  Typical.

  “Arghhhh” I screamed as Jax’s hands covered both of my breasts from Boss as I scrambled for the sheet to cover myself with.

  “What the fuck Boss?” Jax glowered but Boss was on a high and didn’t notice.

  Or didn’t care.

  He just grinned widely. “America want us” he said directly.

  My head tilted as though I hadn’t heard him correctly “What?”

  He couldn’t keep the grin off his face “Red Music just contacted Gary. They want us; they want Room 103 to storm fucking America!”

  My breath stuttered and I stared at him “You shittin’ us Boss?”

  He shook his head slowly “Uh uh hot stuff. We made it big baby.”

  “Oh. My. God.” I breathed and fell back onto Jax, who just placed a gentle kiss on my neck.

  “You want this babe?” he asked and I frowned at him. “Don’t you baby?”

  He smiled and nodded but it looked a little strained. “You sure Jax cos’ if it’s not what you want then we don’t do it baby?”

  “I just want you to be happy babe” was all he said and I cupped his face as I turned to him but he smiled widely and I wondered if I had read him wrong.

  “I am happy Jax” I assured him.

  He nodded and smiled “Then we do it babe.”

  Boss squealed and left our room as he went in search of the others and Jax snuggled us back down under the sheet.

  I rested my cheek on his hard chest but he let out a sigh “You still mine babe?”

  “Lock, stock and barrel baby” I whispered back to him.

  Jax always needed to hear this whenever he was feeling insecure or unhappy, so I knew something was on his mind but after numerous nudges that night he never disclosed what was troubling him, so I just put it down to nerves.

  It was a huge life change, moving to America, even if it was temporary, and I knew I would miss my family and Luce with my very core but it was also something the band needed to undertake to find themselves.

  It was a massive opportunity and although Jax realised that, I still had the suspicion that he didn’t want it as much as the others.

  But Jax being Jax, he would grit his teeth just to see everyone else happy.

  The contract was signed in the next few days and within four weeks we would officially be American rock stars.

  All the arrangements had been made. Where we would live, our schedule and start out tour had been planned to within each daily minute and the studio had been reserved. We had been booked onto an American talk show and numerous music channel attendances.

  All our personal staff had been hired, from bodyguards to personal assistants and it was all extremely exciting.

  CHAPTER 30

  The week before we were due to leave I received a phone call from the hospital to say my mother had collapsed and Aaron and I waited in the waiting room for the doctor to discuss her condition.

  “You ready now then E?” Aaron asked, as a diversion to all the waiting.

  I nodded and smiled “Yeah. I’ve just one or two things to see to. I wish you’d come with us Aaron.”

  He squeezed my hand “No E. I need to finish my Bachelors and I’m not leaving Luce.”

  I nodded in understanding. “Yeah I know, I’m just gonna miss you bro.”

  I glanced around the dismal room, the torn sofa and the peeling wallpaper gave me a sense of foreboding and I couldn’t shake the ominous feeling that had engulfed me.

  “I see Cam came then” I said snottily.

  Aaron scoffed. “Yeah, okay E. Like you expected him?” he answered as the doctor entered the room and both of us shot upright.

  “Are you both Lisa Hudson’s family?” he asked as he settled on the sofa and gestured that we did the same.

  My stomach dropped through my arse.

  There was only one reason a doctor would
ask you to sit, and that was so you didn’t fall the fuck down when the news hit you.

  He took a deep breath and I grabbed Aaron’s hand. “I’m afraid your mother’s had a gastrointestinal bleed caused by her cancer.”

  I frowned and then giggled “I’m really sorry Dr…?”

  “Waters” he divulged.

  “Dr Waters, but I think you have the wrong family. My mother doesn’t have cancer.”

  I felt quite awful for him because he could get in trouble for a blunder like this.

  “Miss Eve Hudson?” he asked and I nodded. “Yes. My mother is Lisa Hudson.”

  He nodded slowly and took my hand but I snatched it back and shook my head.

  “I am afraid your mother was diagnosed with gastric cancer about three months ago but has refused any treatment so far.”

  His words kind of became physical, because it felt like they had just formed into a solid being and slapped me around the face.

  “No, I’m sorry doc but you really ought to get your facts right before you come in here and frighten people” I scolded just as Jax came in.

  He took one look at my ashen face and was instantly beside me, his arm wrapped around my waist.

  I turned to him and laughed. “This stupid doctor’s got the wrong patient” I giggled to Jax.

  His face was painful.

  “Don’t look like that, it’s fine. He’s just got it wrong that’s all” I informed him and Jax turned to Dr Waters.

  “Doc?” Jax asked. Even in front of professional’s he never conversed properly.

  “You are?” Dr Waters asked. “Husband, Doc” Jax informed him and I quickly covered my left hand fingers.

  The doctor nodded but he wasn’t stupid although he let it slide.

  “Mrs Hudson was diagnosed with stomach cancer three months ago. She has refused to have any surgery and until she agrees there is nothing we can do. She suffered a gastric bleed yesterday and we’ve drained the blood so she’s comfortable at the moment.”

  “No. Look, I want to speak to your superior. I am not sitting here and listening to your bullshit” I spat out.

  Jax swallowed and Aaron remained silent.

  “Babe.” Jax turned my face to look at him but I jumped backwards. “NO! No Jax…No…no…n…”

  Jax huddled me up as a strangled scream erupted from my throat “Noooo.”

  “I’m here babe” Jax whispered in my ear as I broke down and wept against him.

  “I’ll let you have a moment. Come and find me when you’re up to discussing the options for your mother” I heard the doctor tell Aaron.

  “Yeah” he said quietly.

  “No Jax, she can’t. Why does she have to be so damn selfish all the fucking time?” I cried.

  “Shush babe.”

  He led me over to the sofa and I scrambled onto his lap, desperately trying to climb inside him so he could absorb all my pain, take it all away and stop the torment I felt at that moment.

  Yes, she was a bitch and had never been a great mother, but there had been times when I was little where she would play dollies and we would sit in the garden and have a teddy bears picnic.

  Or she would roll up her trousers and splash in the puddles with me on a rainy day, or the time we had both decorated the shed for my dad by just splattering paint all over the walls; we’d had so much fun that day.

  She was still my mother and had been a good one until she’d found the joy of heroin.

  “She can’t Jax. No, I won’t allow it!”

  “Babe. Talk to her.” He urged but I shook my head. “Why should I? She hasn’t given me a second thought” I barked.

  He nodded solemnly but deep down I knew he was right.

  Aaron was still silent and I cast him a glance.

  He was sat on the sofa with his head in his hands and the sight of him so defeated broke me, he was my twin brother and I was here to help protect him. There was no way I could protect him from the horrors of cancer.

  I closed my eyes for a second then picked up my bag and went in search of my mother.

  ***

  She was asleep when I walked into her dimmed room alone, and I looked at her ravaged figure.

  I hadn’t seen her since the night Jax and I stayed over, the sight of her was a shock and it brought an involuntary gasp forward.

  She had lost a vast amount of weight, her eyes seemed sunken in her head and her face was long and drawn.

  She opened her eyes and squinted against the darkness. “Eve?”

  I swallowed and approached her slowly as my jellied legs wouldn’t let me go any faster.

  “Hey” I said simply.

  She reached her hand out to me and I softly clasped it, noticing how bony and rough it was.

  “Why didn’t you tell me?” I asked quietly.

  She looked away as if ashamed by her actions but when she turned back I saw her own pain and desolation.

  “Because you weren’t there Eve. You went and didn’t…” she swallowed her words and I was suddenly so angry with her.

  “And why wasn’t I there mother, why? Because you tried to get your eyes on my boyfriend’s body before you punched me and called me a whore” I spat at her.

  “You know mom, I’ve put up with so much of your shit over the years and I have always stood by you, always took whatever you dished, always received every fucking punch you ever gave me, always swallowed whatever abuse you said to me.”

  And then I leaned in close so she wouldn’t miss my next words “And I always paid your drug debts! What kind of mother does that to her only daughter?”

  She flinched bodily but I saw her shut down and lock me out.

  “God damn it mother! Don’t bolt out on me again. We need to talk about this” I shouted at her.

  “I’m dying Eve…I’M FUCKING DYING!!!! ISN’T THAT ENOUGH?” she screamed.

  I stood in silence, listening to her ragged breathing, sucking on my damn lips like a sulking four year old who wanted her mummy.

  “But I need you” I whispered.

  She scoffed loudly. “You never needed me Eve. Your father made sure of that!”

  I took a step back at the bitterness in her voice “Don’t you dare drag him into this.”

  “Why not Eve? He wasn’t the fucking saint you thought he was!” she spat out and I clenched my fist.

  “No! That man died for you. Died because he tried to stop your fucking pimp collecting on a debt!”

  The laugh that erupted from her froze my bones “You believe that Eve because I’ve let you believe that.”

  I took another step back. “Don’t do this” I choked out.

  “Why Eve? You’ve blamed me for the last five years. Don’t you really wanna know what happened that night?”

  I shook my head rapidly. “No. It was your fault. You took too much mother, always took too fucking much. Take, take, fuckin’ take, never ever fucking gave anything back” I bellowed at her.

  Her face contorted in rage. “Your precious father made me fuck three men that night Eve. Just because he wanted to fucking score!!! And it was him that owed those bastards who wanted you…not me Eve. Not me!!!” she screamed at me and I fell backwards, my legs finally giving way.

  “You’re lying!”

  She shook her head sadly. “Why do you think I never came to help you? I couldn’t get to you after they…after they killed him!”

  I shuffled backwards, desperate to get away from her lies. My Dad was a good man, he wouldn’t…he wouldn’t do that…

  “No…” I whispered.

  Her face scrunched up in pain at my pain. “But you, you let them all at me after he died…” I argued.

  She sighed heavily. “Yes Eve, I did. It was too late for me by then. I know I was a shit mother, hell, I am a shit mother. I had followed your father for so many years, because he didn’t give me a choice. Always had to do what Robert said!” she said resentfully. “Do this Lisa, Do that Lisa. Make these men happy Lisa. I need to score Lisa. Open y
our legs Lisa…”

  “STOP IT!!!” I screamed, covering my ears with my hands.

  “NO EVE!!! It’s about time you knew. Your real father…he…”

  I shook my head rapidly, covered my ears and started to sing loudly. “Please stop…” I whimpered.

  The tears flowed down both of our cheeks as she finally released her biggest kept secret ever, her biggest pain, and her biggest heartache. “He loved me Eve, so damn much. He adored the ground I walked on. Made me feel like a princess.”

  She had a glaze over her eyes now as she reminisced “I was going to leave Robert for him. I was so in love with him. He was my one, you know? Just like you and Jax, Eve…so fucking in love. He was my soul, my life.”

  A huge dirty, snotty sob tore from her lips “Robert he…he hunted him down Eve, hunted him like an animal and…and…I never saw him again. He took him from me…”

  I was going to vomit and I frantically searched the room for anything to be sick into but it was too late, it exploded everywhere along with my mind.

  I saw my mother drop out of bed and start crawling towards me, her hands and knees shuffling on the cold tiled floor whilst the drip stand trundled behind her, as she tried to reach me.

  I remained immobile, just staring at her as she came closer. Her face white with her obvious agony, but it was her emotional pain that ripped through me as she finally got hold of me, finally and at long last, held the daughter that just wanted her love.