by Ryan Parker
I moved behind her, running my fingers along her jawbone, her neck, then down her upper chest. She was wearing a lavender button-down shirt. I unfastened the top button, then the next two. The rubber tubes around her midsection made it pointless to go any further, but having four buttons undone was enough. I spread her shirt open, exposing her bra.
I pushed her forward gently, pulling her shirt down over her shoulders, and freeing her right arm. The shirt would only go down a little over the blood pressure cuff on her left. I unclasped her bra in the front.
Her chest heaved and her full breasts were now exposed for me. I reached down over her shoulders and cupped them, tweaking each nipple between my thumbs and forefingers.
Looking over at the polygraph, I saw the needles jumping up and down, scrawling large jagged lines across the paper.
I reached over to the desk where I had placed a dinner plate and grabbed a cherry, then walked around so I was facing her again. Her lips were parted. Perfect.
Placing the cherry lightly just above her upper lip, I told her to smell.
“Do you know what that is?” I asked.
“Sweet. Something sweet and…cherry?”
Just as she said the word, I squeezed it. The cherry burst and juice hit her lips, running down my fingers. Her tongue darted out to taste the juice, licking it off her lips. I squeezed the cherry until it was drained, then ran my fingers along her lips.
“Taste more,” I said, and she sucked two of my fingers into her mouth.
I reached for the plate and grabbed another one. This time when I squeezed, I let the juice drip onto her nipples. I rubbed the cherry around one, then the other.
The lie-detector needles were responding so furiously I thought they might break.
I was in complete control of her physiological reactions, watching them being recorded on paper.
I bent forward and touched her nipple with the tip of my tongue. Just barely. Just enough contact to make it tighten even more, puckering into a hard point. I repeated this with her other nipple, followed by long strokes of my tongue—flattened out, wide, lapping up the cherry juice from her breasts. I opened my mouth wide, taking in as much of her soft flesh as I could, sucking hard, then letting go.
Her lips were still parted when I looked up at them. I raised my head, my face so close our noses were almost touching. I let my tongue slip out of my mouth slowly, finally making contact with her lower lip. I licked the juice off of her mouth. When she stuck her tongue out, I sucked it into my mouth.
Out of the corner of my eye, I watched the polygraph registering her extreme excitement.
I pulled away from her, reaching for the plate once more. I brought the object to her face and told her to smell it. I rubbed it around her lips. It started to crumble.
“Do you know what that is?” I asked.
“Cupcake. Chocolate cupcake.”
“Very close.”
She tried to bite it but I pulled it away just in time, lowering it down to her chest, rubbing it around one nipple, then the other, as it fell apart, leaving behind tiny morsels of chocolate cake and chocolate icing.
I licked some of it from her nipples, then brought my face to hers, extending my tongue, which she sucked into her mouth, greedily taking the chocolate from me.
Her face was a mess of red stains from the cherry juice, chocolate icing, and chocolate cake crumbs. She was licking it off of herself, enjoying the moment. I watched her for several long seconds before reaching for the plate again.
I used two fingers to scoop up our next item to play with and held it in front of her nose. “Do you know what this is?”
She couldn’t guess just from the smell. She shook her head. I was holding it just far enough away that she wouldn’t be able to discern the flavor or anything else about it. I wanted her physical reaction.
And when I touched the vanilla ice cream to her nipple, that’s just what I got. She shifted a little when she felt it, and her nipple became instantly erect from the cold. I spread it around in circles on one breast, then the other, finally bringing my fingers up to her mouth for a taste.
The roll of paper on the polygraph machine had run out, but I no longer cared about that. The needles scraped and scratched a wild pattern as Rachel’s body went into sensory overload from my teasing her.
I stood and bent over, close to her face, as I removed the sleep mask. Her eyes were wide and wild, darting back and forth. Her breathing intensified, more than it was just seconds before.
I lifted her from the chair and sat her on the desk, putting her legs straight up and yanking her pants and her panties down.
Rolling on the condom took less than ten seconds, far too long for what I wanted.
I started to lay her back and she accidentally knocked the polygraph off the table.
“The machine,” she said, startled.
“Fuck the machine.”
I grabbed my sheathed cock, notched it into place, and drove into her with one hard thrust, and another, another…until she told me she was coming and I could feel her clenching around me in spasms, milking me to my own release.
. . . . .
I took Rachel upstairs and ran a towel under warm water. She removed her shirt and I wiped her clean of all the remaining food on her body.
“Not quite as sexy anymore,” she said, offering a little laugh.
“Nonsense. You’re always sexy, even when you’re dirty. Especially when you’re dirty. We’ll do it again sometime.”
“Promise?” Her face was flush, her eyes sharp, her words quick and direct. She was still turned on.
I washed her face and when she opened her eyes again I said, “I promise. Next time, you can select the food and tease me the way I just teased you.”
“Don’t think you’re going to back out of that,” she said, pulling her hair back into a ponytail. “And you were not teasing me. Believe me. That was…amazing.”
“I think you’re more than ready for the polygraph,” I said, reaching for a different towel to dry her off. “In fact, I can’t recall ever seeing anyone better suited for defeating a lie detector. Very impressive.”
“Thanks…I guess.”
“I know,” I said, kissing her forehead. “I know.”
While she was good at shutting off her emotions, the reasons behind her ability to do that were the very reasons her life had been twenty-six years of emotional wreckage.
I kissed her lips. “I have some white wine in the refrigerator. Would you like some?”
She nodded.
I started to leave the room to go down to the kitchen and she followed me. “Why don’t you stay here and get comfortable? I’ll be right back.”
She was naked when I returned to my bedroom. Her clothes were folded on a chair. She was in the bed, looking lost in thought as I entered the room.
“What’s on your mind?” I handed her the glass of wine.
She sipped from it, and ran her tongue across her lips before answering. “You. Us. What all of this means.”
I drank from my wineglass, then placed it on the bedside table and stood to get undressed. As I removed my clothes, I said, “You’re going to have to give me a few days to answer that.”
The happiness and contentment that had dominated her face changed suddenly to worry and a touch of sadness when she heard my answer.
“Trust, Rachel,” I said as I slipped off my pants, naked, ready to slide into bed next to her. “You said you trusted me. And so far you have. I just need a few more days.”
“I don’t understand why you can’t tell me,” she said. “I mean at least give me some kind of sign, some hint, something to hold onto that lets me know where all of this is leading. Can’t you do that?”
I lay back on the bed, exhaling a deep sigh. “I have done that. Many times. Trust me.” I turned onto my side to face her, taking her wineglass from her and placing it next to mine on the bedside table. “Trust me.” I pulled her close to me and kissed her.
Her head dropped to the pillow, tearing away from my mouth. “Do you trust me?”
I looked down into her eyes. They were welling up. She swallowed hard, waiting for my answer. “If I didn’t trust you, I wouldn’t be asking you to trust me. I wouldn’t lead you on, Rachel. Ever.”
“I’m worried about what you’re doing. I worry about you every second of every day and it’s only getting worse.”
I brushed a few strands of hair away from her face and tucked them behind her ear. “It’s going to be okay. We’re both going to be okay.” I lifted her chin with my finger so she would look me in the eyes. “Have a little faith in me, huh?”
Chapter Fourteen (Rachel)
Early the next morning, Finn told me he had to get back to work.
“Not the bookstore,” I said, as we got dressed after a quick shower. I had awakened to him touching me, teasing me, and I returned the torture, thinking it was foreplay to another round of sex. But we were enjoying it and there seemed to be an unspoken mutual desire to just lie there, kiss, and bring each other to orgasm with our hands.
“No, not the store. It’s been closed all week.”
“Don’t people wonder why?”
Finn shrugged. “Don’t know. Don’t care, really. I put a sign up, saying the store would be closed until next Wednesday for vacation.”
It was Saturday morning. If Finn intended on being away until Wednesday, that meant I probably had another four full days before I’d see him again. He would drive me back to D.C., go wherever it was that he was going, and I would have minimal contact with him in the meantime.
“Take me with you,” I said.
Finn was putting his belt on and stopped, his eyes shifting to me, our gazes locking. “No.”
I walked over to him, putting my hands on his sides, feeling the stress in his body. “Please?”
“Rachel—”
“I can drive the car. I won’t even get out. Or…I’ll stay in the backseat.”
He sighed heavily. “It’s really not a good idea.” He resumed threading his belt through the loops of his pants.
“Well, I don’t think me being away from you for four days is a good idea, either.”
He didn’t say anything. Didn’t even look at me.
“I want to be a part of your life,” I continued. “I want to be a part of this part of your life.”
“I don’t want you to be a part of this. At all. Ever. I’ve already broken my own rule about not getting close to anyone or letting anyone get close to me. You’re already in too deep. Sometimes I feel selfish because of it.” He paused and he looked at me. I could see in his eyes that he wasn’t just saying that. He wasn’t using that as an excuse to leave me out of this.
“You don’t have to feel selfish. You shouldn’t feel that way.”
“I do,” he said. “Now, please, trust me on this. I know what I’m doing.”
I found the restraint to drop the subject. I didn’t want my worrying to interfere with his mental preparation. He was under enough pressure as it was. I could see it in his face, see it in the way he rapidly got dressed and gathered his things.
It was like a different person emerged when he was preparing to go out on one of his operations. I thought back to the time when he mentioned the ability to turn off his emotions, compartmentalizing the vastly different aspects of his life.
It was far from the way I was able to separate. There was something a little unnerving about the way Finn did it. Considering what he was doing with his life, I guess that shouldn’t be surprising.
As unsettling as it was to watch him become a serious, intensely focused mercenary, I knew that the gentle, sincere Finn was the one that always came out to play with me.
I didn’t fear him. I had no reason to. In fact, I had every reason to be glad that the dark side of him was there, lurking somewhere. I knew that side of him cared as much about me as the soft side of him did, and I knew that dark side would keep me from the dangers he had warned me about.
Finally, for the first time in my life, I was settling in to the idea that I wasn’t alone.
. . . . .
I spent most of Saturday fidgeting around my apartment. I cleaned it once. Then did a deep clean. Washed some clothes. Cleaned and disinfected the refrigerator…
I was going to drive myself nuts over the next four days if I kept this up.
On Saturday afternoon, just after lunch, I decided to go to the shelter and take Winnie for a walk. Meg was there when I arrived. She was behind the counter, sitting at the computer.
“I wasn’t expecting you,” she said, but clearly glad to see me.
“I had some time, so I figured I would come take Winnie out for a little bit.”
Meg smiled. “Oh, she’ll love that. You two have fun.”
“Thanks.” I opened the door that led to the rear area of the shelter and found Winnie in her kennel. She stood up and her tail thumped the wall as it wagged back and forth. She was happy to see me, as always. I let her out and the moment I said “Wanna go for a walk?” her ears perked up and she ran around in little circles as I got her leash.
We left through the back door and within moments we were at the dog park. It wasn’t crowded yet, but there were enough dogs there to make her put her tail between her legs and stay closer to me as we strolled onto the grass.
“It’s okay,” I said. “We’re all here to have fun.”
Her confidence grew little by little as we walked. Mine dropped, though, as I noticed a car go by twice. I told myself I was probably being too paranoid because of my connection to Finn and what he was off doing that day. Still, I had every reason to be suspicious of anything out of the ordinary.
Those thoughts ran through my mind in a matter of seconds, until I realized that I recognized the car. How had I missed it?
It was the rental car Finn had been driving when he picked me up Friday.
A chill ran up my spine. This was…odd.
I stopped and watched him pull away down the street, then take a left and disappear behind a building. What was he doing driving around here?
Watching me?
Why?
Fear coursed through my veins as my overactive imagination filled in the possibilities. None of them were good.
I looked down and saw Winnie looking up at me, her head cocked a little to the side, as if she sensed something was wrong.
“Come on,” I said, tugging at the leash and she kept up with me as I made my way over to the large patio area where there were two public bathrooms. I sat on one of the concrete benches, reached into my pocket and brought out a treat for Winnie. She took it and laid down before me to crunch on her snack.
I got my cell phone out and called Finn.
He picked up on the second ring. “Hey.”
“Why are you driving around the dog park?”
Silence.
“Finn?”
He sighed. “Don’t worry, it’s nothing.”
I felt a little angry at his answer. It wasn’t nothing. It was something. “It’s…weird. Sorry, but it’s just a little strange seeing you driving around.”
“I’m leaving. Just checking on you. You said you would trust me. I know what I’m—”
I cut him off. “I do trust you. You said you trusted me but now I’m beginning to wonder.”
“It has nothing to do with that. I’m asking you, Rachel, just a few more days at most. I promise.”
If there was something I needed to know, he needed to tell me. A couple approached the area with their dogs so I lowered my voice. “Am I in some kind of danger? Like right now?”
“No, and that’s what I’m making sure of.”
That wasn’t a very convincing answer. In fact, it was a bit contradictory. “You know, if you had let me come along like I asked—”
“Rachel,” he said in that low and even tone he sometimes took with me, “the promise?”
He was right—I had promised him trust, and he had promised me ev
erything would be okay in a couple of days.
“I’ll see you soon,” he said.
“Okay.”
And he was gone.
Chapter Fifteen (Finn)
I was beginning to worry about my state of mind. For a decade, I had cultivated the ability to become focused like a laser beam when I was on a mission. I barely thought about food, I shut down the store and didn’t spend a second thinking about it, and I shut down the part of my brain that was always very enthusiastically thinking about women.
That was the part that thought logically about pursuing a woman, and once that was achieved, the primal part of my brain took over and it was all about sex.
Now it was all about Rachel’s safety and protection.
By the time I had arrived in Alexandria and rejoined Spencer for the operation, I wished I had taken Rachel up on her plea to help. I would never have let her come along, but I could have done something that would have placated her while at the same time assuaging my concerns.
I should have given her a gun and taught her how to shoot. We had a little time that morning. I could have taken her to a gun range and let her shoot a little. Get the feel for the gun in action. She was more than capable of handling a weapon.
“Goddamn,” I said aloud.
“Goddamn what?” Spencer asked.
It was just after midnight and we were in the satellite TV van outside the first house. He was about to take up his position outside the second location, but for now we were watching, waiting, because all of the members of the sleeper cell were in the first house.
“I’m fucking paranoid.”
“What about?” Spencer asked, sipping a fast-food milkshake through a straw and making that annoying sound when you get to the bottom of the cup.
I grabbed it out of his hands and tossed it into the back of the van.
“Christ, Finn, what’s gotten into you?”
I looked out the window, hand to my face. I hadn’t felt stress like this in years.