Just when she thought she knew what was coming next, I changed my pace, over and over again. I moved my mouth when she became reliant on the sensations it was giving, until the woman sat in front of me became a needy, wanton creature.
I looked down at the movement from her fingers. They rubbed against my jean-clad knees faster and faster, like she was imagining rubbing and flicking her clit.
I sucked her other earlobe quickly into my mouth and allowed my hands to wander around the front of her, cupping both of her firm, hot tits into my hands. They were larger than I remembered and very nearly filled the whole of my large hands. I massaged them, and now and again I allowed my calloused fingers to rub over her nipples.
I needed her to feel as crazy with lust as I felt.
A crazed moan fell away from me, as I held the large globes in my hands. For a few seconds, I closed my eyes and took some of my own advice.
I just felt.
I felt the moment.
I felt her.
And I felt us.
I used my thumbs and forefingers to pull her nipples into stiff points. If they had been hard when I had set them free from their prison her nipples were now twice as big. I wanted to suck them into my mouth, graze them with my teeth, and when that got too fucking much for her, I would brush over them with my tongue. As if she could hear my thoughts, she began to squirm around trying to find relief on anything available to her.
I placed another quick flurry of kisses, bites and licks across her shoulders and up and down her neck, then suddenly I removed my cupped hands from under her tits. I knew the weight of them would pull down against my two-fingered hold on her nipples. I knew the unsupported weight would make her gasp.
She never gasped, fuck no… She fucking groaned in my arms.
Fuck.
I could feel she was close.
I continued to roll her nipples in my fingers and began to bite along her jawbone. Finally, I leant over her shoulder, using my stubble to abrade her soft flesh and I dragged her chin around so her mouth met mine.
It was like finding home.
I kissed her until I could feel the gasps of air she was trying so hard to draw in.
I let both hands leave her tits. One held onto her, by lying it over the front of her chest, my other hand held her shoulder. Moving my hand away from her chest, I brushed my fingers gently over her sternum and down to her waist. I flicked open the button at the front of her skirt and pulled one side of the material sharply to make the zip run down. It gave me just enough room to push my hand inside. Lifting the band of her knickers up with the tip of my fingers, I pushed my hand down further.
She was so fucking wet. I could feel the damp material surrounding my fingers. The small amount of hair I found there was fucking soaking.
‘You are so beautiful, Lils.’ I knew she’d heard me, as she relaxed back into me.
Finally, I pushed my index finger through her wet folds and following the rhythm of her fingers rubbing on my jeans, I stroked her swollen clit.
‘Oh my God, Jack… It’s so good. Please, yes… please.’ She fell over the precipice of her orgasm sitting on the very edge of my bed. Her body convulsed strongly in my arms as I held her to me. If I hadn’t been holding her she would have fallen to the floor. I thought how fitting that was. Wave after wave washed over her. Hearing her cries of pleasure fed my tortured, needy soul.
When she had finished, I gently removed my hands. I inched myself backwards up the bed and pulled at the shirt that was wrapped around her wrists quickly. Her arms were released, and knowing that I had moved away from behind her she gently lay down on the bed, exhaustion fuelling her movements. I balled up the fabric and chucked it to the ground.
Her arms lifted up from her sides and she grabbed at my thighs, forcing her fingernails into the fabric.
‘I need you, Jack.’ Her eyes found mine as I looked down to her face. The face that was still alight with the orgasm that had just swept through her.
I could see and feel her body shaking with need.
I fell onto my stomach, positioning my head upside down over hers.
I began to push myself up onto my hands, like I was doing push ups in the gym, and starting at her forehead I slowly began to kiss in a straight line down her body. My body travelled over hers not touching any part of her with anything other than my lips.
As my head reached her stomach, she realised what was nearly directly above her. Her nimble fingers made quick work of my buckle, I heard it snap as she flicked it open. Like an expert, she had undone the buttons of my fly and released me.
My cock bobbed out of its confines and I moved to help her push my jeans over my hips. Dipping my head, I watched her long tongue jut out of her mouth and she cleaned away the pre-cum off the head.
‘Fuck me,’ left my mouth. I saw the start of a smile on the corners of her mouth as she heard me swear at her touch.
‘Now who’s shaking like a leaf?’ she questioned.
A smile crept across my lips as I watched her suck my balls into her mouth and then release them just as quickly. I knew I had to fucking move, and fast. I wanted inside her, I didn’t want to come across her gorgeous tits, not this time anyway.
I pushed myself up and standing on the bed I pushed my jeans down my legs. I stared into her eyes as she gazed up me from the mattress. Kicking the jeans up I caught them with ease and threw them on top of the shirt I had chucked earlier.
‘When did you start going commando?’ she asked breathlessly.
‘When you came back, babe. I needed to be able to fucking relieve myself, often.’ I smiled down at her.
She moved herself further up, getting rid of her skirt and knickers as she did so and patted the bed beside her. I moved myself there as fast as I could.
I didn’t give a flying fuck who was in charge now.
Lying on my side I pulled her tiny frame into me. I hooked her leg over my hip and with one thrust I pushed inside of her, until I was balls deep.
She cried out in reaction and her eyes closed, her rock-hard nipples moved over my chest and I nearly fucking came there and then. Her nails dug into my arms in response. Our connection was still there, but then I always knew it would be. I had never found it with anyone else.
‘You alright, Lils?’ I kissed her open mouth as I began to move in and out of her wet folds as slowly as I could. I wanted to remember every single fucking movement. I wanted to remember how her eyes opened and closed at the sensation. The way her nails dug into my flesh as she tried to pull me ever closer to her and the way my name fell like a wish off her lips.
‘Jack.’
‘Right here, babe.’
I couldn’t continue the slow torturous pace and started to thrust faster. I was beginning to chase my own release and knew she was right there with me.
‘Look at me, Lils,’ I demanded and her eyes opened wide to find mine.
As I reached the vinegar strokes of my climax, I relaxed into the inevitable. The surge of electricity bolted down my legs finally making my toes curl. The strength of feeling between us threatened to engulf us both. The moment her eyelids began to flicker as her orgasm possessed her, I held my breath and waited until her eyes rolled upwards, then finally I let go.
My ejaculation flooded inside her and only at that moment did I remember we hadn’t used protection.
I couldn’t fucking care less.
‘I love you, Lils. Now and forever.’
‘I love you too, baby,’ she whispered back to me.
Holding her close to me with my cock still inside her, we fell into a sated sleep.
I had stood quietly by the large windows in the bedroom for about thirty minutes. I slept better in Jack’s arms, but once my brain was switched on I couldn’t shut down the memories it held. Once I knew I wouldn’t sleep anymore, I’d left the comfort and security of Jack’s embrace and I was now staring at the beautiful countryside around the house. It was lit up as if by magic with the splintered shards
of light coming from the large full moon.
The room was starting to cool off and a shiver went over my very sensitive, bare skin.
Deciding that I needed something on, I looked around for the shirt that Jack had removed from me earlier. Finding it poking out from under his jeans I crept my way over to them and tried to pull the shirt free.
A heavy bang shattered the silent room as his large belt buckle clattered against the wooden floorboards.
Oh no!
I froze and, lifting myself up a little, I peered over the top of the covers that only partially covered Jack. He didn’t move. I stood up, pushed both my arms into his shirt and took in the breath-taking sight of the man spread out naked.
Why was my life so hard? I only wanted two things in my life and to have either one meant pushing the other away. Wrapping the sides of his shirt around me like a comfort blanket, I once again tiptoed towards the windows and looked out into the depth of the night.
‘Lils?’ A deep, rasping voice still full of sleep made me jump. ‘Come back to bed.’
I turned to look at him. He had placed an arm underneath his head, raising it a little to find me. His blue eyes were staring at me. When a frown began on his forehead and his eyes started to squint, I knew he was trying to work out what was going on.
‘There are things you need to know, Jack. There are things that I need to tell someone about and I know deep inside that the person to tell is you… I’m just trying to work out if I’m strong enough to voice my pain and if you’re resilient enough to listen. What I don’t want to happen is you jumping off the deep end… I’ve watched you before when you’ve struggled with your issues. I’m afraid of opening up my Pandora’s box, of triggering your switch and of other people being hurt. Because this time you really need to understand… someone’s life could be a stake. Tell me you hear and understand that?’ He nodded a quick confirmation to me and I carried on. ‘I’m also afraid of messing up your life again… You have such a wonderful life here, I don’t want to ruin it.’
A deep sigh left him as he sat up quickly in the middle of the bed. I watched as what little amount of cover that was on him fell away, exposing his well-defined abs and eventually his Adonis’s V. He rearranged the pillows behind his back by touch alone and lay back again.
‘This… you need to understand…’ he waved his arms and opened them so wide, that I knew he meant more than the house. ‘This “wonderful life” truthfully ain’t anything like it looks. Surely, you of all people can see through the whole fucking smokescreen, Lils?’ He crossed his arms over his chest and his head tipped to the side as he questioned me.
I pulled the shirt even tighter around me and shook my head gently. He raised his eyebrows at me and I looked away confused.
‘After you disappeared I carried on, on auto pilot. I couldn’t and wouldn’t fucking accept you weren’t coming back.’ His balled fist smacked down on top of the quilt. ‘Even when Charlie and Katy eventually did… I refused to accept I would never lay eyes on you again. You and me, were meant to be together, that was the way it should be.’ He shook his head to dislodge the thought. ‘That’s the way it is! You and me, babe.’ I shuffled my feet as his words washed over me. ‘The fighting helped, just like it had always helped me before… I trained to the point of exhaustion, trying to blot out the agony of having lost ya, of not being able to protect ya when ya needed it. But I was in pain inside, always in fucking pain. So much sodding pain, that I had to get rid of it somehow. Once I had my fists clenched in front of my face, I could use that pain and my deep-rooted need for vengeance to break others. I loved to watch their eyes as they flickered with the understanding that they couldn’t fucking break me, because inside I was already dead.’ He stopped momentarily to gauge my reaction to his words. When I didn’t look up or say anything, he carried on. ‘I took away their confidence in themselves and I fucking loved it. It fed the dark places inside me, but not enough to stop the demon inside me screaming for more. For those few minutes, sometimes even a fucking hour or more, I was in control… I was paid well for losing my shit and causing them damage… But I found out the hard way, that although the fights took the pain away, it didn’t last for long… It didn’t last for long because I couldn’t let it go.’ He thumped his chest with his fist.
I stepped closer to the bed listening to his words. I ran my fingertips over the white cover feeling the smooth comforting fabric underneath. I heard the recognisable cracks coming from his neck as he rolled it around trying to release his tension, but couldn’t lift my head to watch.
‘I earnt a lot of fucking money inflicting pain on others… So, I bought this house, knowing it and Beauty were the closest I could get to you. You see some even darker part of me was unwilling to completely lose the pain inside, because the pain and memories of you were all I had left…’ Once again, I was crying listening to his words. I wasn’t sure if he had alleviated my doubts, or made them double. ‘My fucking life is always going to be messed up, unless you’re in it… don’t you get that? Come here.’
My eyes came up to meet his. I watched as he flicked back the sheet as he demanded I came back to him. I knelt gingerly onto the bed and all at once he sat up, and gathering me into his arms he pulled me backwards to lie with him. Gratefully, I wrapped my arms around him tightly and buried my face into his body, to inhale his comforting spicy smell. ‘You’re strong enough to tell me and I’m in control enough to listen… So, fucking tell me,’ he implored.
I inhaled deeply as I struggled to try to find the words I needed. It seemed we were both damned if I spoke the truth and damned if I didn’t. Either way, I was going to hurt him, I just needed to try to control how much, if that were even possible?
‘The night Tony and Ioan came to tell me that my parents were dead was the first night they raped me.’ I paused trying to read how my words had affected him. Apart from him being stock still, I couldn’t find anything else, so I carried on.
‘They told me in no uncertain terms, that my father’s debts that both of their families held, were now my debts. I was told that I would have to choose between them, for marriage. One of them could then take over my father’s business. That night I refused, and in front of my eyes Tony shot…’ I stopped speaking for a moment and shut my eyes at the memory of losing one of my best friends. He didn’t interrupt me, but rubbed his hand soothingly over my shoulder, offering me his support. ‘He shot my dog Fox dead in the hallway.’ I recounted the rest of the dreadful night I had lost everything to them. ‘As I looked at his lifeless body, slumped and broken on the floor, in that instant I knew that I had no choice… If I wanted to live I would eventually have to choose one of them. And I wanted to live, Jack… I had a reason to live. But for as long as I could, I played one off against the other. I refused to choose.’
Jack felt calm lying underneath me, so I carried on.
‘I lay face down on the hallway carpet, the same red patterned carpet that my mum had so painstakingly chosen to represent the welcome to be found at our family home, as one and then the other raped me. Again and again, until the red of my blood mixed into the red fibres of the flooring... I remember reaching out to touch Fox to the side of me. I was trying to gain a small sense of comfort. So, I made him my focal point as they raped me, trying to find the strength he had always given me when he was alive. They came at me again and again, but the very worst thing was, it was only just the start. As the days and months went on, they seemed to get an even greater sadistic pleasure in trying to outdo each other, in what they forced on me. Things that I’ve blanked out, things so vile I will never be able to put them into words. Words are beautiful, words are not supposed to be used to describe the depraved things they have done to me and many others. Then… about a year ago, my situation became worse, much worse. Ioan and his father disappeared, I found out later they had been put in prison.’
Jack’s heart that had been keeping a consistent rhythm underneath me, suddenly started to accelerate. He
moved suddenly underneath me. His other arm came around me as he tried to cocoon me with his love.
‘I’m sorry, Lils… SO FUCKING SORRY! I dunno what else to say, other than that. If I’d known where to find ya, I would have fucking killed them with my bare hands. You know that don’t ya?’ I nodded slightly into the wet patch I had created on his chest. ‘If I could, I would take away everything you’ve ever been through. Just know this… This doesn’t change how I feel about you. I love ya now even more than I did before…’ A few minutes of silence passed, with him just rubbing my back soothingly.
Then he spoke again. ‘I need to ask you a couple of things. Alright?’ I nodded again. ‘Are you in love with Harry?’
It was my turn for my heart to accelerate. That one simple question caused me more pain than anything I’d just relived. I wasn’t prepared to lie to him, so I fell into my old habit of only answering the exact question. ‘I’m not “in love” with Harry. But I do love him with all my heart.’
I felt the stubble on his chin rub the hair on my head as he nodded, my answer seemed to appease him.
‘Why did Ioan being put in prison make things worse for ya?’ His grip on me tightened.
I took in yet another deep breath and shakily exhaled. ‘When Ioan and his family basically disappeared from our lives, I was left with Tony and the Vasiles. I could no longer play one son against the other. I became totally the Vasiles’ property. Tony had me right where he wanted me. I became his whore. He no longer needed to marry me. My father’s business was taken under their control, as did other things, and I had no leverage left at all.’
‘Fucking hell.’ The words almost came out under his breath. He moved us as one towards the edge of the bed and I heard him patting around on the floor next to it. He found what he was looking for and picked up his jeans to fish around one-handed for the crumpled packet he knew he would find in the back pocket. I recognised the sound of the sparking lighter as he lit up a cigarette. Then came the more comforting sounds of him dragging on it deeply and exhaling.
Undeniable (Fated series Book 4) Page 23