I followed the zig-zag pattern I needed to take, as slowly as I could.
I had left Jack lying on the settee in the bedroom. I knew he was awake listening to me. But I didn’t look his way and I didn’t talk to him, too scared he would persuade me not to go back.
It was almost as though he had been expecting me to leave him?
He hadn’t held me all night like he would normally have done and I was almost grateful. I knew that having to lift his arms and leg off me while he slept beside me, would have broken me.
I shook my head from side to side.
‘NO. NO. NO.’ I shouted into the darkness and smacked my open palm on the steering wheel. ‘Just think about Harry. Nothing else, Lily, just Harry.’
I knew that Tony would be waiting for me. I couldn’t let him see how I was feeling. Nothing good ever came of letting Tony see how I felt. He used the information to his advantage and generally to his gratification.
I arrived in the village, it was empty and quiet with just four street lights casting their warm orange glow over the dark lane. I could see the huge silver car that once belonged to my father, sitting across the street waiting for me. I pulled into the pub car park and switched off the engine.
I think it was only then, as I sat in the silence for those few seconds, that it really hit me.
I was going back.
I placed Jack’s mobile on the passenger seat next to me, along with a packet of Love Heart sweets and a small piece of twine that I had managed to tie into an almost recognisable infinity symbol.
It was my way of saying goodbye and I knew Jack would understand that.
I allowed my fingers to run gently over the things on the seat as I stared at the car waiting for me. When the privacy glass in the back window of the Mercedes started to lower, I knew my time was up.
With a sigh of resignation, I left the keys in the ignition, got out of the car and walked to my fate.
Much to my surprise and relief Tony wasn’t waiting in the car for me. I climbed into the back seat next to Bogdan. His allegiance was no longer with my family, it was now with the Vasiles. I looked at him once making sure he felt every bit of my disgust, but I said nothing, knowing that my words would be completely wasted.
He tapped on the back of the driver’s seat to indicate he could pull away.
I looked out of the window and watched as the sleeping village disappeared from my view and my life.
The red glow of the tail lights eventually vanished as Lily manoeuvred my car around the final bend in the drive and I sank down onto the cold hard slate of the kitchen floor.
‘FUCK!’
It took everything I had to sit there and not to run the fuck out onto the gravel drive to chase after her.
I looked up as I heard the kitchen door handle turn as Charlie entered.
‘Get up, gobshite. I’ll get the coffee on and you need to phone John.’ Just like that he walked past me, gently toeing my back with his boot as he went.
The thought that I now had a job to do brought me out of my fucking self-indulgent lapse. I leapt up quickly, the sound of my undone belt buckle rattling around with my movement broke the silence of the hallway as I moved out of the kitchen and towards the phone. Lily had taken my mobile, just as John had said she would. I just hoped he’d be right about everything else he had surmised.
I quickly pressed the buttons on the phone. It only rang out once.
‘John Edwards.’ He answered quickly as if his hand had been on it, just waiting.
‘She’s left.’
‘Jack… You’ve done the hardest part. Has Charlie arrived?’
‘Yep… my babysitter is making some coffee.’ I knew I was being an ungrateful bastard. But just at that fucking moment I couldn’t have given a flying fuck.
‘Leave it with me. I’ll let you know when the handover is completed.’
I put the phone down on him. I couldn’t answer. I knew he had gone into fucking military operation mode, it was easy for him, his whole life wasn’t at risk. But that wasn’t his fault, and I needed to allow him to do his job.
‘Coffee’s on the table.’ The shout came from the kitchen.
So, now all I had to do was wait. I rocked my heels back as I stared at the antique receiver sat comfortably back in its cradle. With my hands linked together on top of my head I cracked my knuckles. I was caught in my worst fucking nightmare and the only fucking role I had was to sit at my kitchen table drinking coffee, feeling impotent.
The phone started ringing before I had even drained my cup. I jumped up and ran to the hall.
‘Yeah,’ I answered.
‘Handover completed.’ Those two words were so completely unassuming, but to me they meant the very centre of my world had just collapsed.
Lily was back in the hands of her abuser.
‘Make it happen… Just as soon as you can, John… I can’t…’
‘Jack… You can and you will! As I see it, we have one go at this. I won’t take the next step until I have the confirmation that Harry is with her. We want them both, no half measures will do. I know when you’ve had the chance to think this through, you will understand that I’m right. You need to sit tight, eat well and train hard. That’s your role for now.’
Fuck! ‘I can do that.’
‘I know you can. I’ll be in touch ASAP.’
I hadn’t been back for a whole day and already it felt like I had never been away. The only thing that was different was that the house I shared with Tony’s family felt more fraught than usual, which meant I hadn’t come face to face with Tony yet. But I knew that ultimately, that was only putting off the inevitable.
But for now, I would happily take the reprieve.
‘Choo, choo.’ I pushed the blue train around the track and listened to the happy squeals of my angelic son.
‘Through da tunnal, Mummy. Thomasss needs go through tunnal,’ he instructed me as we sat playing together on the floor of his bedroom.
‘OK, Harry. Through the tunnel, he goes.’
‘And down da hills.’ He stood up now, no longer being able to contain his excitement. I smiled up at him as I let his blue train sweep over the wooden track and quickly down the slope.
‘Weeeeeee!’ he shouted as he jumped up and down clapping his hands together. Then he flung himself into my arms.
I gathered him in tight to my chest and pushed my nose into his blond curls, taking in the smell of my baby boy. Seeing and being with him made my heart ache for everything Jack had missed out on. The guilt I felt was immense, guilt for the child and guilt for the daddy who would never know each other. I blinked away the tears that threatened to fall.
Once again, I pushed Jack away from the front of my mind. I had a job to do here and it was worth every single minute of my pain. To hear my baby boy’s laughter and share his joys, I would do whatever I had to do.
The white, glossed door of his train-filled bedroom opened. I looked up and saw Tony standing there and as usual my heart sank.
I felt Harry stiffen in my arms and I held him tighter trying to offer him my strength. I knew it wasn’t the sort of thing a two-year-old in a normal loving environment would do in the presence of his “father,” but even at his very young age he could sense that Tony wasn’t kind, and it broke my heart.
‘Welcome home, Lily. What a lovely sight, the two of you together.’ It was never the words that Tony spoke, but always his meaning behind them that you had to pay attention to. I had learnt this many a time to my own humiliation.
‘You want pay trains?’ Ever the peace maker, Harry spoke up.
‘No…’ That was it, no thank you, or… I’ll play later. ‘Lily, I need to see you in my office.’ He wrung his sweaty hands together and turned, closing the bedroom door behind him.
‘It’s alright, Harry. I’ll go and see what your father wants and then I’ll be straight back. Ok?’
I stood his little body up and away from me and directed a well-practised smile at him a
s I tried to convince him that everything was going to be alright.
For the first time ever, I could see he didn’t accept it.
For the first time ever, he didn’t believe me.
Not for the first time, I concluded that I had to get him out of here.
‘Strip.’
I had just closed the door to Tony’s office. I felt my eyes widen in panic as I heard his words and my heart accelerated in panic. I swallowed deeply.
My fingers, on instinct, went straight to the buttons of the blue shirt I was wearing before I had even turned to face him. I undid them, one at a time with every step I took towards his desk. My eyes were still cast to the floor. I dropped my shirt at my feet and started to loosen the plaited leather belt at the waist of my jeans.
‘See, she’s nothing special.’ Tony’s words had my eyes moving up to find his. He was speaking to Bogdan and his right-hand henchman, Sorin. My hands froze at the thought of having to bare myself and probably even more to the other men.
‘Carry on… or would you like me to help you?’ His words came out with a sneer crossing his features. Once again, his vile-smelling breath came across the desk and like normal my stomach turned over in revulsion. I saw the excited looks the others started to give each other and felt terror unfurl itself in my chest.
I carried on undressing in the silence with only their hungry looks for company. I pushed my jeans down over my hips. I was determined not to make a show of undressing for them. My hips remained firmly still and I made sure my plain cotton underwear stayed in place.
‘So, why the fuck are they willing to gamble so much money on her and the boy?’ I heard Sorin speak and my ears pricked up.
I heard the scrape of Tony’s chair as he moved himself up and away from the desk. It took a few short steps until he was by my side.
‘I wish I knew… let’s ask her. How do you know Alex and Nathan Blackmore?’ he questioned as he took a firm hold of my hair and wrenched my head backwards. I winced at the sudden pain in my scalp. My hands flew up to his as I instinctively grabbed his forearms to stop him pulling further.
They wanted me and Harry? A small glimmer of hope started to grow inside me.
‘I met them at a barbeque a couple of days ago.’ I wouldn’t give him any more. None of the snippets of information that Bella had shared with me. Tony used information to his advantage. I refused to give him any advantage.
‘Really.’ It wasn’t a question but a sarcastic retort.
‘Yes.’
‘So, why are you suddenly worth twenty-five million US dollars to them?’
I tried to shake my head, but his grip on my hair wouldn’t let me. ‘I don’t know, I’ve only met them once.’ That was at least the truth and luckily, he appeared to accept it. He let go of my hair and forcibly pushed me to the ground. I fell forward onto my hands and knees. I hated the position he loved to force me into, my palms were flat to the floor and my jeans were still around my ankles.
‘TONY!’ The shout from the doorway made everyone in the room freeze.
I hadn’t known that my “uncle” had entered the room, not until I heard his voice.
‘The very detailed set of instructions said that she was to be unharmed. Until they have seen her, you will abide by that rule… Once we have satisfied that criteria and have won the wager… then, my son, you can do whatever you like with her. We will win, then we keep her, her assets and their money. They have no idea of the ace up our sleeve.’ I peered upwards wondering what on earth he was talking about, just as Nicolae Vasile walked over to his son and placed a hand on either side of his face, bringing his forehead down to him so he could place a kiss on it.
‘No, they don’t… and I can do whatever I like, Tata?’ He was asking for permission to ultimately torture and kill me.
I watched as a completely deranged look came over his face and I visibly shrank further to the floor.
‘I always keep my promises, Tony.’ With that he turned and walked out of the room, beckoning to his henchman to exit with him.
Tony bent down next to me and placed his clammy hand down in between my shoulder blades, then he began to trail his fingers down my spine. He pushed his hand into my underwear and I started to shake. Forcibly he shoved one of his fingers straight into my anus and I bit my lip to stop myself from crying out loud. His finger plunged in and out several times. I heard his breathing change as he started to get excited. I had never been sure whether he got off on where his finger was or because he was causing me pain. The skin around the area of his intrusion started to sting as he shoved his finger in and out faster.
‘Mmmmm, I can’t wait.’ He pulled his hand away fast, making my body shudder once again at the pain he had caused, then he stood and left the room. I lifted my underwear up over my bottom and wrapped my shirt around me as I rolled onto my side and cried. I would allow myself this. These few minutes of self-pity.
Then, I needed to try to work out what Jack and his family had planned.
I watched as Charlie sprung up from the settee. The leather protested underneath him.
‘Nah…No fucking way,’ he said to no one in particular, and then his eyes came up to find mine as I paced around the kitchen floor. I put my hands on the top of my head and tipped it back, just wanting to remove my eyes from his. As I thought through the information John had just given us, I blew air out quickly though my lips.
‘Oi, gobshite! Tell me you’re not fucking considering this?’ Charlie demanded.
‘I’m in.’ I spoke to John and ignored my best mate, he was right, it took no consideration.
‘Somehow, I think the rest of us are missing something.’ Alex put the question to Charlie and me.
I continued pacing as my babysitter started to wave his hands around in the air.
‘Noticed something different about my eye?’ he asked, pointing at the subject matter.
Alex, Nathan and John looked at each other and then nodded at him.
‘I’m very nearly blind in it… I nearly died fighting the bastard you’ve just named as the Vasiles’ fighter. Michael “Mad dog” Maguire has been blacklisted in a sport that’s fucking illegal. Doesn’t that tell you something?’ I watched him turn to show them the flat spot on his head underneath his short hair. ‘I was his last fight… I’ve never known anyone to be blacklisted, nor has my dad, not in all the years our family has been in the business. He doesn’t look to just win the fights he’s in, if at all fucking possible he wants to put his opponents out forever, even if it means fucking killing them. He’s a fucking mental…’
‘I’M. IN.’ I shouted over the top of Charlie.
‘For fucks sake.’ Charlie sat back down.
‘You sure, dude?’ Nathan’s question was directed at me.
‘I told you all before, I’m willing to do anything. This information, changes nothing.’ I crossed my arms over my chest, leant back against the sink and shook my head as I tried to convey how relaxed I was about my decision.
They all stared at me for a few seconds as if they were trying to read my mind.
‘I hear you, Jack…’ I watched John cross his arms over his chest and lean back into the chair he was sitting on. ‘But… we need to act on this information. We can’t risk you fighting that sort of bastard, Jack. I’ll get in touch with Bella’s contact again and pull the whole set-up forward by minutes… Any questions?’ said John finally.
Everyone shook their heads.
It was about eight o’clock on the Friday night.
I was sat next to a sleeping Harry as we sped through the darkness. Bogdan and Sorin were travelling in the car with us. The Vasiles and an evil-looking guy they called “Mad dog” were in another car just ahead. Two other cars full of nameless faces were also travelling with us.
It appeared we were going mob-handed.
Whatever the Blackmores had offered the Vasiles, it was happening tonight.
Many times, I had listened to Jack and Charlie describe the area in Lo
ndon where most of their fights had been held. I looked out of the window to see the same tall, dark buildings around us. The streets were as they had always told Katy and me, almost deserted. The “bank” area of London only thrived Monday to Friday, between the hours of eight and six. Everything I had imagined as they had spoken was unveiling itself in front of my eyes. The last time I had been into the “bank” with my father, I had been crying and had seen nothing through my tears.
I finally knew with absolute certainty what the wager was. There was going to be a fight and Harry and I were the prize.
At last, our car swept down into the light and took its place. My heart was pounding in anticipation. The temperature went down immediately as we entered the cold concrete enclosure and a shudder went down my spine
‘Wait here.’ Bogdan and Sorin exited the car, slamming and locking the doors behind them. I placed my hand on a stirring Harry. I watched as they and all the others were frisked for concealed weapons.
‘Ssshhh.’ I moved his seat a little hoping to keep him sleeping for as long as possible. All the time I was gently rocking him I was staring frantically out of all the windows, searching for Jack.
My eyes easily found a smart-looking Alex in a formal grey suit, standing next to Nathan who was in jeans and a leather jacket. An immaculate-looking John moved in front of them to speak to Tony and his father.
As he moved, it cleared the way for me to see through to Jack, who was stood by his car with Charlie. My core clenched as I watched him, dressed in only his grey sweat shorts, slowly unwrap the rope from around his hands. It fell to the floor and he began to stretch out. As I watched the muscles on his body flex and contract, I scrubbed my hand around my opposite wrist as a memory came back to me. It was of me leaving somewhere like this last time, drugged up to the eyeballs and bound by ropes.
Strangely, it was a comforting thought.
My eyes went back to the gathering in the centre of the underground carpark. One by one they turned until all eyes fell upon the car we were waiting in.
Undeniable (Fated series Book 4) Page 28