by A. E. Murphy
I’m not even sure what time it is. I know I was arrested at around nine this morning and I was fed slop for lunch which I didn’t eat because it looked extremely questionable. It felt like a year passed after that, so it has to be at least five.
Looking at the time on the TV, I’m completely wrong. It’s just gone seven. Bloody hell.
Lockhart is taking ages.
Dinner comes and goes. It was okay, nothing to write home about. Speaking of writing home, I might actually have to do that if Lockhart doesn’t come back with my phone.
Fuck it.
I yank his overnight bag out of the cupboard and search through it, my excuse being that I need a comb for my hair. He has a comb. I place it on the floor to the side of his neatly packed clothing and then snag a pair of his black boxer briefs. I pull them on awkwardly, still sitting on the ground. My laziness doesn’t half get me into some trouble at times. Why didn’t I just stand up?
I knee myself in the eye trying to tug the briefs under my arse.
When they’re finally in place, I slide into one of his shirts and button it at the front from the very top to bottom.
“Are you finished?” Lockhart asks.
I remain calm and spin on my butt to face him. “Hi, honey, you’re home. Was the trip good?”
He rolls his eyes and holds his hand out to me. I take it but only until I’m standing.
“Find anything of interest in my bag?”
I nod and point to the comb that’s still on the ground. “I can now detangle my beautiful pink hair.”
He follows me to the couch and sits on the armchair opposite, his lips twisted with a secret smile. I don’t want to give him the satisfaction of asking him what he’s plotting so I simply comb my hair.
“Where’s Dane?”
“He’s gone home for a few days. I’m sure he’ll call.”
“Home as in… home?”
He nods. “Kai is still in jail.”
Shit. “What’s going to happen to him?”
“Nothing good.”
“Is Rep sorting him legal aid?”
“Yes.”
I bite hard on my lower lip and curl my legs to my chest. “He just needs help with his anxiety. I don’t think he’s addicted. I think it’s just his anxiety playing up.”
“He’s not my problem or my company’s problem anymore.”
No. “No!” I gasp, giving him a wide-eyed stare. “You can’t just drop him.”
“He’s in major breach of contract and he has severely upset Enri, as you can imagine. Because of him, Enri has lost his account at Starlight Tour Buses. They’ll never loan to him again.” He explains firmly.
“This isn’t happening,” I whimper. “Kai… he deserves this. He’s the best drummer I know. He’s worked so hard.”
“I’m aware of that, but my hands are tied. I can’t treat any of you differently. All of your contracts state the same thing.”
“Please, Lockhart,” I beg, placing my feet on the floor and my hands between my knees. “Everybody deserves a chance.”
“He’s had his.”
“You’re being entirely unfair,” I snap and run my hands through my damp hair. “I’m not replacing Kai.”
“I know.” He smirks that frustrating smile again. “You would never leave him behind.”
“So, you’ll reconsider?”
“Yes.” His eyes darken. “But not for free.”
Now I’m confused. “What on earth could I give you that you don’t have already?” Standing to full height, he pulls his tie free and walks around the back of the couch. His hands grip my shoulders and massage gently. That feels nice. My head lolls forward. “You haven’t answered me.”
“I want… you.”
“Me?” I choke, my voice high. I try to look at him but he holds me in place. “What do you want from me?”
“I want total ownership.”
Ownership? “What the fuck are you talking about?” I rip free of his hold and face him, the couch the only obstacle between us.
“I want complete control of you, Wild One. From the hair on your head to the polish on your toes.”
My jaw drops. “You’re kidding?”
“Most definitely not.” He runs his hand along the back of the couch. “I want total obedience. In all things.”
“You’re insane. I’m not giving you that.”
“Then Kai is on his own and you and Dane can fend for yourselves.”
“You… I… Is this because I broke it off?” He doesn’t respond but he does grin when he sees the rage spreading through me. “You absolute bastard.”
“I did warn you.” He’s right. He did. “I don’t like being rejected.”
Scoff. “So this is your form of sick and twisted revenge?”
“Essentially. Well… that and I want nothing more than to tame you.”
“Tame me?” I laugh humourlessly. “What the hell does that even mean?” He just keeps on smiling. “Where are my clothes. I want to go and see Kai.”
“You can’t go now; they won’t let you see him. He’ll be released in the morning.”
“Well… can I at least have my things?” I ask quietly.
“I’ve sent your clothes to laundry.”
“All of them?”
He quirks a brow and I know he’s serious.
“Why?”
“It just seemed easier than separating the clean from the unclean after Starlight came and bagged it all up.”
Those absolute wankers. “They touched my things?”
“They wanted their bus back.”
“Can I have my phone back?” I sit on the armchair that he vacated and tuck my legs to the side of my bum.
“Please.”
“Lockhart just give me my bloody phone.”
“Please.”
“Fine!” I huff. “Please.”
“No, you may not have your phone back until you have decided on how to proceed.”
Blink. “Proceed?”
“Are you going to give me total control or not?”
“Hell fucking no I am not.” I almost laugh but I manage to stop myself. “Are you insane? I’d never give you that. I’m not even sure I’d be able to be compliant anyway.”
“Oh you would.” He grins sadistically. “Trust me.”
“With everything I am? No thanks.” I hold out my hand. “Now can I have my phone?”
“Certainly.” His smile has gone and just when I think he’s going to reveal my phone to me, he instead reveals his and, with his eyes on mine, he makes a call that has my heart pulsing with horror. “Start working on the paperwork. Kai is no longer a member of Ellipsis. Yep. Breach of contract. No. And it won’t need to go to court?” He smiles and tilts his head, his smug look of victory making me feel stabby. “I’ll take it to him myself tomorrow.”
“I’m still not putting my mind, body and soul into your hands.”
He shrugs and finally throws my phone onto the couch. “Your choice.”
“So… the tour is over.” I whisper to myself as I stare at my phone. “What am I going to tell people?”
“The tour isn’t over for you and Dane. So long as you are both back in action by the weekend, we still have a legally binding contract.”
“This is… too much.” I move to grab my phone and then pad over to the bed. “I’m going to hide for a while.” His steps follow close behind so I stop and turn to face him. “Or do you need me to leave?”
“In that? Definitely not.”
With that, I pull back the heavy blanket on his huge bed and burrow under it like a small, feral animal. I tuck it over my head and around my body and close my eyes.
He doesn’t join me or try to comfort me. I think he knows that even though I want it, I won’t welcome it. Everything is so fucked up already without adding feelings into this.
He wants to own me. From my hair to my toes. What does that even mean?
Why would he want to change who I am?
; If he wants some stuck up little cocktail party companion, why not just find one? There’s bound to be loads queuing up to be his bride. Why does he need to turn me into one of them when I’m great the way I am? I like me. I like that I’m loud and impulsive.
I should tell him that but I just don’t have the energy. Instead I call my dad and tell him the truth about what happened. He isn’t happy, not that I can blame him for that. He doesn’t blame me despite his anger. He’s more disappointed that I didn’t speak to somebody about Kai’s issues sooner. I just didn’t know how far gone Kai was.
Enri hasn’t messaged me either. I wonder if he blames me for what happened. I daren’t text him just yet; I don’t want to poke a sleeping bear. I’ll give him time to cool down.
*
When I wake, I’m annoyed and at peace to find Lockhart on his back beside me. I like him there. He’s so handsome when he’s sleeping and so normal looking. If only his face reflected the dominant inside of him; I’m not sure I’d find him so handsome then.
“Where do you think you’re going?” He grumbles and wraps his arm around me.
I push him away and climb from the bed whilst replying, “To the bathroom.”
“Hurry up and come back to bed.”
I don’t argue. I just go about my business and re-enter the room, freshly washed, teeth and hair brushed.
“Cerise,” he calls, his tone frustrated. “It isn’t even seven. Come back to bed.”
“I need to go and see Kai,” I snap. “Besides, I don’t want to sleep with you.”
“Soon you’ll be sleeping with me whenever I demand it,” he mumbles, still tired, his face squished into his pillow.
I snort. “You wish.”
“My wishes always come true.”
“Not this time.” I look around for clothing, though it’s pointless. My possessions haven’t yet been returned and I can’t leave in Lockhart’s shirt and boxers. He’d kill me.
“Just come back to bed and in a couple of hours I’ll take you to Kai myself. They likely haven’t even released him yet.”
I move to the couch instead and cross my legs when I sit.
“I’m ordering food,” I announce.
“For crying out loud, woman,” he sighs and I hear his feet hit the floor. “Come to bed.”
“I’m not going back to bed. I’m awake.”
“Cerise,” his tone is a warning, “come. To. Bed.” His footsteps draw nearer.
“I’m hungry.”
“Fine.” He rounds the couch and I scream when I’m easily hoisted over his shoulder. “Have it your way.”
The air whooshes from my lungs as I’m thrown onto the soft mattress. I bounce one and a half times before his body covers my own and his lips press against mine. He nudges my thighs apart and I doubt I could resist even if I wanted to. When he slides up my closed thighs, his hands find mine and pin them above my head.
“You seem to forget I like your fire,” he grins, biting my lower lip until my eyes squeeze shut from the pain. “And I know you like mine. So, either agree to come and lie with me, in my arms until we both wake up again, or I’m going to fuck you until you’re too tired to protest.”
My lips part. Is it wrong that the latter sounds like the best option?
“Option three, go have breakfast?” I breathe and then squeal when he leans in to kiss me. I know what that means. It means option two and I don’t need to be doing option two right now. “Fine. Option one.”
“Too late,” he chuckles and rips the boxers down just enough to find me with the head of his heated cock. “Would you look at that?” He rubs against my entrance. “Wet for me already.”
“Fuck off,” I mumble, ashamed of how easily he can persuade my body to react.
“I’d rather fuck you.” He locks eyes with mine and then pushes in, stretching me between my closed thighs. I try to remain stoic, to make him think that just having his dick inside me doesn’t make me feel amazing, but I can’t. The burning begins almost immediately, that powerful clenching and tingling of my womb, making it impossible to hide the pleasure I feel. “I don’t know why you deny me.”
“You’re an arrogant arse, that’s why,” I grit, trying to control my body at all. It doesn’t happen.
I come loudly and wildly, unable to hold it. He follows, soon after, morning sex clearly being a weak spot for his control just as it is for mine.
I love it when he moans as my body brings his to climax. There’s just something so erotic about it.
Before I can escape, he rolls us onto our sides, my face tucked under his chin. He wraps his arm and leg over mine, suffocating me in a warmth that feels safe and pleasant.
Why can’t he want more? If he could offer me the possibility of love one day, I’d sell my soul to him in an instant.
For fuck sake.
What is wrong with me?
“I can’t breathe.” I bite his nipple roughly not long after waking, causing him to hiss through his teeth and push me away enough so that he can see my smiling face. “Can’t take what you give?”
“Only I do the biting.”
“Good luck enforcing that one,” I snort and turn in his arms so my back is to him. “Is it time to see Kai yet?”
Reaching for his phone, he taps at the screen and then blows out a breath. “He’s been charged with possession.”
I sit up immediately. “What does that mean?”
“I don’t know yet, I’m still reading.” He scrolls down the long message. I try to read over his shoulder but I only catch snippets and they make no sense. “He’s free to go with a warning, but he’ll have a permanent mark on his record.”
I close my eyes. “But he’s out?”
“Yes, he’s out.”
I climb out of bed and head straight for the bathroom. “Can you have them send up at least one of my outfits so I can dress and go?”
“Your attitude today is awful.”
I stop, turn and gape at him. “I’ve just been assaulted, arrested and dragged to a hotel where the man who I thought liked me openly admits he doesn’t.”
His brows come together showing his confusion. “Who says I don’t like you?”
“The fact you want to control me tells me you don’t like me. If you liked me, you’d want me to be me.”
“That’s a ridiculous conclusion.”
“Whatever.” I wave him off and close and lock the bathroom door behind me. “I don’t want to argue. I just want to go before you can try to blackmail me into staying.”
His silence isn’t very reassuring. I’m hoping I haven’t given him any more ideas.
When I exit the bathroom, clean, fresh and in nothing but a towel, due to having no clothes, I find the room empty.
My suitcase is on the bed, open. Clothes are folded neatly inside. The clothes I got from the photo shoot are in plastic bags on hangers in the closet to the right.
I notice a note by the suitcase and pick it up. It’s from Lockhart.
‘Remember my offer. Or, as you call it, blackmail. It still stands regardless.’
Shit.
He’s gone.
What the hell am I supposed to do now?
I have all this crap and nowhere to take it.
I sit on the couch and put my phone to my ear. It rings twice before Dane answers.
“I was wondering when you’d call me back.”
“Sorry, I’ve been a little distracted.”
“I bet,” he chuckles flatly. “I was so scared when they told me my results were positive.”
“I knew it was a mistake,” I assure him. “I promise.”
“Yeah, Lockhart said.” We fall silent before he asks the dreaded question. “What happens to us now?”
“What do you want to happen?”
“I don’t want to lose the band. We’ve come so far.” He sounds so tired and sad. “But Kai can’t do this again.”
“Agreed. I just don’t know how to proceed.” I hear him scribbling and laugh.
“I gotta get the song lyrics down while they’re fresh.”
Grin. “It’s so good to hear you smile.”
He scribbles again.
“You’re an idiot. Jot that down.”
He ignores me. “I’m going to come back to London tomorrow. I shouldn’t have bailed on you.”
“No, you shouldn’t, but I wouldn’t have been available anyway.”
“Why?”
“It doesn’t matter.” My eyes close. “What are we going to do about Kai?”
“You should talk to him; he’ll listen to you.” If only he knew I’d already tried. “Find out what he wants and we’ll go from there.”
“I’ll do my best.” My teeth scrape against my lip. “I’m worried that Enri is mad at us.”
“I’d be surprised if he wasn’t.”
Me too. “I’m too scared to call him.”
“Why?”
“Is that a serious question?”
This time he laughs and it’s a real laugh. “Just call him.”
“Why do I have to do all of the talking?”
“Is that a serious question? It’s all you ever do.”
True. “Fine. I’m going. I’ll text you later to let you know where we’re staying.”
Kai looks dreadful when I arrive at his crappy motel room. He sits in an unhealthy-looking chair by the window, a vodka bottle in his hand, his knee shaking up and down.
“I don’t need you to remind me how stupid I’ve been,” he states after almost five minutes of silence.
“If I was going to do that, I’d have done so already.”
“Well,” he looks at me with bloodshot eyes, his hair a messy mop on his head, “standing there just staring isn’t helping.”
I throw my hands up. “I don’t know what to do or say, Kai. I just want you to know that I’m here.” His eyes soften. I continue, “We love you. You’re our brother from another mother.” His lips twitch and I know I’m winning his attention. “But we need to know what you want more, us or the drugs, because inevitably, that’s what it’s going to come down to.”
“I know.” He shakes his head. “I just… I can’t seem to find the courage to go onstage without it.”