by Nicola Haken
“We’ve been over this,” Gavin answered. “For the distance, it’s less hassle to drive our kit up there.”
“Doesn’t mean we couldn’t fly. Someone else could’ve travelled up with the kit.”
“Shut your whiney ass up, Matt,” I griped, before diving towards the bunks to claim the single bed space. The other guys could fight out between them who were getting the other bunks, but there was no way I was sharing a space with any of them – especially Matt.
“Oh come on, dude, you always get the single bunk!” Matt called after me. I sniggered to myself, ignoring him as I tossed my back onto the tiny bed. I was about to lie down on it, rest my weary body after belting it out on stage for the last four hours, when I heard Jake’s voice below.
“Okay, guys, Neil and I will be travelling on the bus with you. Everyone else will be following behind.”
Shit.
I didn’t want Jake on the bus with us. The bus was too confined. He’d be too close. Sometimes it felt like I no longer had any control over my mind or my body when he was around – what if the guys picked up on something.
“There aren’t enough bunks for everyone,” I heard Kip say. “Neil could take the couch, and I guess you could bunk in with Saw. He has the biggest bed.”
Oh fuck no.
“I won’t be sleeping,” Jake assured. “I’ll be fine right here.”
Flooded with relief, I took the opportunity to climb down from my bunk and join them.
“Hey,” I said as casually as I could manage, stuffing my hands in my pockets. “You riding with us?” Of course I knew the answer, but apart from discussing the fucking weather, all other options for ‘casual’ conversation eluded me.
“Yeah. Just waiting for Neil,” he explained, shrugging out of his jacket and laying it neatly on the chair next to him. As if by magic, Neil hopped onto the bus in that very moment.
“It’s fuckin’ crazy out there,” he said, shaking his head.
“We good to go?” Jake asked.
“Yeah. The roadies are still packing the gear into the truck but they’ll be following on soon. Claire’s already left, and Laurelin’s riding up with Dave.”
“Well I’m gonna crash for the night,” I said to no one in particular, purposely avoiding eye-contact with Jake, knowing if I did my dick would automatically lurch towards him.
“Fuckin’ pussy!” Matt piped up. “Stay up and drink with us!” He clinked his bottle of beer against Gavin’s and Daz’s, then he tried to do the same to Kip but all he got in return was the middle finger. “Not tonight, man. Got a fucker of a headache coming on. Night guys.”
“You’re turning into such a fuckin’ loser in your old age, dude,” were Matt’s last words before I climbed up into my bunk and drew the curtain.
I stripped quickly down to my boxers, stuffing my dirty clothes into my overnight bag. Then I got into bed, bending my knees slightly so my feet didn’t hit the wall as I lay down. Sighing heavily, I closed my eyes and tried not to think about Jake being just a couple of feet away. I failed miserably, and ended up drifting off with a hard-on so huge it literally fucking ached.
“Nearly over for another year, eh?” Elle asked, slumping back into the plush couch in my hotel suite. We were leaving for the show soon. We’d rehearsed this morning, and then I spent the afternoon sleeping. I’d not seen Jake all day, which was weird because he’s supposed to be my personal bodyguard. His absence also made this strange ache appear in my chest.
“Yeah.”
The tour was coming to a close. Before arriving in the UK we’d made our way around Europe and then toured all the major US states. After tonight and tomorrow’s gigs in Manchester we were travelling back down south, finishing with two more dates back in London. We’ve got a three week break after that before we hit Australia and then it’s back to LA to get started on the new album.
“So what are your plans for the break you guys have got coming up?”
“Dunno,” I shrugged. “Probably head back to LA. Keep my head down for a couple of weeks.”
“What’s wrong with you? You’re normally buzzing before a show.”
“Nothing’s wrong,” I lied. I didn’t want to admit it even to myself, but the truth was I was missing Jake. How ridiculous? It’d only been a few hours.
“Okay, muscle man. You keep on with the bullshit if it makes you feel better.”
“Don’t be like that, Elle. I’m just tired, that’s all. We’ve been touring for months. It takes it out of you eventually.”
“Whatever,” she dismissed, rolling her eyes. “So anyway, I’m coming with you to Australia.”
“What? Why?”
“Jesus, Saw… don’t get too over excited, you might strain something.”
“Fuck off, Elle. You know that’d make me fucking ecstatic. It’s just… you never venture further than Europe. What about Kylie?”
“I’ll make sure she’s got enough money before I leave. She doesn’t know it yet but I’ve opened a bank account for her. She’s growing up, Saw. It amazes me how mature she is. I think she’s responsible enough to have access to some money that our mum will know nothing about.”
“But why the sudden change?”
“You’re not doing such a good job of convincing me that you want me to come!”
“You know I do,” I assured her. “So quit whining.”
“I guess I just want to see more of the world,” she shrugged. “And besides, I miss you when you’re on the other side of the world for months on end.”
“Aww, gorgeous girl,” I cooed, playfully kicking her foot with my own. “That’s about the sweetest thing I’ve ever heard.”
“Dude! You in there?” Kip’s voice on the other side of my suite door cut into our conversation, followed by a knock.
“I’ll get it,” Elle said, jumping to her feet. She sashayed over to the door, purposely wiggling her hips like a catwalk model. Then she winked at me, clearly proud of her little strut, and opened the door.
“Cars are ready, mate,” Kip informed me. Instinctively I looked down at my watch. “Neil’s waiting for you by the lift.”
Neil? Why not Jake?
“Sure, man. Be down in two.”
Kip disappeared as quickly as he came. Jumping to my feet, I picked up my phone, quickly glancing at the screen in case I’d missed any contact from Jake, then sighing when I saw that I hadn’t. After stuffing it in my pocket, Elle approached me and fiddled with my hair, trying in vain to get my fringe to stay out of my eyes.
“Ugh,” she groaned. My floppy hair has always been a pain in her ass. “We’ll fix it when we get to the arena.”
“Come on, gorgeous girl,” I said, exhaling a small laugh. It amused me how frustrated she could get at a couple of strands of hair. “I’ve got songs to sing.”
Chapter Eight
“The guys need to know about this,” Laurelin said, standing tall with one hand on her hip as if that made her look intimidating or authoritative.
“I agree.” She blinked in surprise, dropping her hand from her hip.
“May I suggest we get these last few UK dates out of the way first?” Claire spoke.
“Hmm,” I pondered. “I think it’s gone too far to keep this on the down low any longer.”
I had been at the arena all day after getting a call from Claire saying on-site security had found a suspicious parcel in Sawyer’s dressing room. Upon inspection, the inside of the box revealed a black and white cat with it’s throat slit, lying in a pool of its own blood. On top of the animal was a note splattered with blood, the words formed from newspaper clippings. Very amateur.
The future only ever brings the end
It was a quote – taken from the lyrics of one of Souls of the Knight’s biggest hits. The message was clear. Whoever sent this wanted our attention, and after this stunt they definitely had it.
“Well I trust whichever decision you make,” Claire replied. I should think so too. That’s why she employed me
after all.
“Right,” I clipped, looking at my watch. “We need to wrap this up, the guys are on their way.”
Claire nodded and then headed out to the back of the building to wait for the guys to arrive. I issued the rest of my team with their orders for the night, answered any questions they had, then I straightened my black tie, secured my earpiece and went to join Claire.
The second I saw Sawyer’s long, denim-clad legs swing from the car I became very aware of my pulse. It thudded in my ears, increasing in speed and pressure. Once he was out, standing by the car door, his eyes caught mine and they narrowed, causing my own to widen in surprise. He snatched his gaze away quickly when Neil came up behind him. Slowly, they walked towards Claire and me, and then he simply brushed past me without a word.
Tiny sparks of fear sparkled in my gut. Was he having second thoughts about us? Had he found out about the threats?
Fuck.
I’d told myself a thousand times I could still do my job effectively despite the feelings I had for Sawyer, which is why I needed to talk to him immediately. Right now, I couldn’t focus on scanning the perimeter, I couldn’t remember what positions my men were supposed to be stationed in, which meant I couldn’t do my fucking job. All I could think about was why Sawyer looked at me the way he did.
Arena security escorted the guys to their dressing rooms. Claire followed Matt and Isaac into their shared room, Gavin and Darren headed into theirs and I followed Sawyer to his. Elle was outside when I reached his door with her hand hovering over the handle.
“Mind if I just take a minute alone with him?” I asked. My words came out in a rush and by the look of confusion sweeping across her face I knew I’d appeared too eager. “I just need to run over the itinerary for after the show.” I purposely forced calm into my voice this time, but I knew I hadn’t fooled her.
“Um, sure,” she said warily. “I’ll start with the other guys,” she added, giving me the once over with suspicious eyes before dragging her suitcase full of hair crap across the corridor.
I walked into Sawyer’s dressing room without knocking. He was bending down to his guitar case, unclipping the latch when he heard me come in.
“One sec, gorgeous girl,” he began to say, obviously expecting Elle. Then he straightened up and turned around. When he saw me his neck jerked back in surprise. He didn’t speak and this worried me. It felt like something had shifted between us and I didn’t like it. So, needing to close the gap between us, I stepped forward, cautiously raising my hand to his face.
“You’ve been gone all day,” he whispered, closing his eyes as he buried his cheek into my palm.
“Is that what’s wrong with you.”
“Kind of.”
“Kind of?”
“I… missed you.”
“And that’s a bad thing?”
“It’s an unfamiliar thing. I’m not sure how I feel about needing someone so badly.”
“You need me?”
My heart thumped so fast and powerful in my chest I wondered if he would be able to hear it. Deciding he probably couldn’t, I took hold of his hand and pressed it to my chest.
“Yes,” he answered on a sigh. “Yes I think I do.”
“Fucking hell, Sawyer,” I breathed, my chest swelling with all kinds of emotion. Releasing his hand, I cupped his face, bringing his lips to mine. I wasn’t sweet or gentle. I kissed him like I wanted to fucking devour him. I attacked his mouth, twisting my tongue around his, like I was starving. “You have no idea how long I’ve waited to hear those words coming from that delicious mouth of yours,” I whispered, breaking our kiss and resting my forehead on his. “I’m going to fuck that mouth so hard tonight,” I added, making him shiver in my arms.
“Jesus…” he groaned when I stroked his dick through his jeans. He was hard and ready for me. He always was. “You shouldn’t feel this good.” Briefly, I wondered if he’d ever overcome the doubts or shame that he felt, but I quickly dismissed it, choosing instead to revel in the gruff moans escaping his throat as I continued stroking his erection.
“Tonight, baby,” I whispered, smiling into his strong neck as I pulled my hand away from his groin. “I want you to fuck me tonight.” Sawyer drew in a sharp breath, his body stiffening slightly. “By the time I’m finished with you, I promise you’ll want to.”
“I… I mean what if… I might not do it right.”
“You’ll be perfect,” I assured him. Uncertainty contorted his face as I pulled away from him. I wasn’t worried. I would take care of him… relax him. I had no doubt I would provide him with the best fuck of his life. “I need to get back to work,” I said reluctantly, adjusting first the uncomfortable bulge in my pants and then straightening my tie. “Have a great show, Sawyer,” I tacked on, flashing him a wink that made one side of his mouth turn up into a half smile. Then I turned towards the door and left, feeling pretty damn amazing as I headed off to find Neil.
Just over an hour later the support act were finishing up their set and it was time to gather the guys. They should’ve all been waiting in Sawyer’s dressing room as instructed, but I came to learn pretty quickly that Matt didn’t handle instruction very well.
“Where the fuck is he?” Isaac blared, pacing across the dressing room floor. “Have you checked his dressing room?”
“Yeah,” Darren replied. No sign of him.”
“I’ll go and look for him,” I announced, shaking my head in frustration. I imagined dealing with Matt was what high-school teachers had to live through every damn day.
“I’ll come with you,” Sawyer said, getting up from his chair. I forced myself to look away from him, knowing the sight of him in those tight jeans and ripped shirt would have me hard and throbbing for him in a nanosecond.
We paced quickly down the corridor together. There was a good foot of space between us but I could almost feel the heat coming from his body. His spicy aftershave danced up my nose with every stride we took, making my cock twitch with every breath.
I paused when we reached a door marked ‘Maintenance’. What could only be described as grunts were seeping from the gap beneath the door and by Sawyer’s raised eyebrow, I was sure we’d found our missing band member.
“What the fuck are you playing at?” Sawyer blasted when he opened the door, revealing Matt with his pants around his ankles and a young blonde bouncing up and down on his lap. “We’re on in two!”
“I’ll be… ah fuck, baby… five minutes,” he growled, keeping his hands firmly on the woman’s waist and encouraging her up and down. My eyes flitted to the ceiling, but my ears couldn’t escape the sound of flesh slapping against flesh. They didn’t stop for even a second – as if it was completely normal to have people walk in on you having sex and just carry on like you were chatting about the weather.
“Claire. Maintenance room, now!” I looked to Sawyer who was ending a call I didn’t even see him make. Within seconds Claire was barging in behind us with a scowl on her face.
“Matthew!” she scolded. As if someone had just thrown a grenade at his feet, Matt rolled off his chair, practically tossing the blonde to the floor, and then tripping over his pants when he tried to stand. “You!” she barked, pointing to Blondie. “Out. Now!”
The moment confirmed the fact that Claire was the ‘mother’ of the band. Good to know for when the next situation like this arises – because I have no doubt it will. Picking up her knickers from the floor and then smoothing her skirt – or was it a belt – down, Blondie scurried from the maintenance closet like a red-faced teenager who’d just been busted by her parents.
“Sorry, Claire,” Matt muttered guiltily, sweeping the floor with his eyes.
“Get your butt on that stage,” she ordered. Nodding, Matt walked past her, still adjusting the zipper on his jeans. Claire rolled her eyes and followed behind him. Smiling at me, Sawyer cocked his head for me to follow him out of the room.
So I did, and I didn’t take my eyes of his fine arse all the way to
the stage.
As usual Sawyer was literally glowing after finishing the show. His dark hair was damp and swept back from his face, all traces of Elle’s styling efforts completely gone. His cheeks were warm shade of red, visible beneath his heavy coating of stubble, and his skin was glistening with a light sheen of sweat. I imagined the other guys probably looked the same, but I didn’t notice them. Only Sawyer. I’ve only ever noticed Sawyer since being fourteen years old.
Getting the boys to their cars and back to the hotel was a military operation – one that ran as smoothly and quickly as I expected. With the guys and the team we naturally took over the top floor of the Hilton. Claire is in charge of booking accommodation, and by happy coincidence, my room was situated next to Sawyer’s. I didn’t know whose room we would end up in tonight, but as we rode the lift to the top floor I knew regardless, he would be on top of me, buried balls deep inside my arse, at some point in the next few hours.
My dick twitched and my heart swelled at the thought.
“My room. Tequila. Hot girls. Come on!” Matt hollered, jogging down the long hallway towards his room. A collective ‘Hell yeah’ resounded in the narrow space, followed by several high fives.
“Nah, man, I’m gonna pass tonight,” Sawyer interrupted. I bit down on the inside of my lip, refusing to let the smile tickling the edges of my lips show.
“You pass every fuckin’ night lately,” Matt grumbled. “You’re turning into an old fuckin’ man, what the hell is wrong with you, dude?”
“I’m just beat, that’s all,” Sawyer said, pursing his eyebrows in frustration.
By this point Darren and Gavin were already in Matt’s room, the rest of my team were dealing with hotel security downstairs and Claire was at Spur, an exclusive club in the city centre, confirming the after show party details for tomorrow night. I had no idea where Laurelin was and I didn’t particularly care. She’s just one of those people who grate on your nerves, even though you can’t pinpoint why. She rubs me up the wrong way, and if I’m honest I don’t really see the point of her. None of the other guys have a PA. I think Sawyer is just being a fucking diva.