by Leatha Marie
I could tell Ethel was getting angry, not only because she was shouting but also because she was letting the curse words fly. She shouted, “Jesus! I don’t understand why this has to be so dang complicated! It is really not an estate. Estates are what son-of-a-gun RICH people have to settle.”
Annie jumped right in, but on the opposite side of this debate. Her voice was also raised. “Don’t be foolish, Ethel. All this has to be divided equally among Momma’s daughters! And we have to figure out how to pay for Caroline’s care! We must account for every dime!”
Ethel was not having any of that. She fired back, “Wait a dang minute! Do you think Caroline gets a fourth and her hospital costs? No way! We all will walk away with housing costs, especially me! This was my home. Once we sell, Marie and I have no place to live.”
That quieted Annie down but she brought her stern face within inches of Ethel’s and through gritted teeth said, “Stop yelling at me, Ethel! We will get nowhere unless we can speak like civilized people.”
I had to break up the tension, so I started singing America the Beautiful. We Nash girls often sang to ourselves to relieve stress or anger.
O beautiful for spacious skies . . .
Annie and Ethel looked at me like I was crazy. But I kept on singing.
God shed His grace on thee . . .
Ethel said, “Jeez Louise, leave God out of this!” She was trying to hide a smile behind her grumpiness. Annie breathed deeply and shook her head. I brought my voice to its loudest volume for
from sea to shining sea.
We never knew anything but the first verse, but we often sang it when spring arrived at the farm. I wasn’t sure this would cheer them up, but it got them to shut up for a bit. Ethel and Annie both stared at me. After a couple of silent minutes, they realized what I was trying to do.
Annie said, “Okay, Dianne, if we promise to calm down, will you stop singing?” They broke into a fit of laughter while I tried to act like someone had slapped my face. I couldn’t hold the act very long and joined in their amusement.
I poured three glasses of sweet tea and said, “Let’s go sit in the family room. We need to remember how much love we have for each other. Ethel, can Marie join us with her toys?”
The family room was not used unless we had company. It was a special place for us as girls because most of the time the door was closed. Maybe we could talk like family instead of enemies in that room. There is nothing like having Marie with us to change our attention to what is good in life. Marie entered the room holding Annie’s hand. Ethel brought in a blue child’s tea set for Marie. Over in one corner of the room were her fabric dolls and a doll bed with a blanket. I stared for a moment with heaviness in my heart. I knew Momma had made all those for Marie. There was also a child-sized wooden chair and table that I remembered Joseph, one of the farm workers, made for Marie.
“Look, Marie, we’re going to have tea together,” said Annie. “This is so nice. Thank you, Ethel. Thank you, Dianne. This feels more like our family.”
In her youthful excitement, Marie went bounding over to her table and grabbed one of her dolls to sit in her lap. “Yeah, Marie, we are gonna be nice,” Ethel said only a little sarcastically.
Ethel sat in a wooden rocking chair made of walnut. It fit her body. We all knew where this chair came from, and it was ironic how secure Ethel looked sitting there. It was Frank’s gift to her for, as he described it, birthing their child. He brought it by the house five days after Marie was born. At that time, Ethel still believed they would be married soon. It was a happy time that soon turned into sadness.
Annie admired the tea set and asked where it came from. She said she had seen them in D.C. They were called Lusterware and were made in Japan.
“The Pollards sent it to Marie for Christmas,” Ethel admitted. “At first, I did not want to keep it, but she went nuts when we opened the package that had come in the mail. I figured there was no harm. She doesn’t know them. She only gets to play with it on special occasions.”
After a few minutes of quietly watching Marie be so gentle with the beautiful set, drinking from one cup and feeding her doll with another, Ethel got us started on the subject we needed to discuss. “I talked to the lawyer that helped me with the Frank mess. He will be happy to tie up the loose ends of Momma’s things. He said we need to agree on what to sell and what to keep in the family. He also said he could represent Caroline at Dix Hill for however long she will live there. Any problems with letting him take care of the legal part of this? We have to pay him, of course. But that can come from the sale of anything before we split the money.”
We all agreed that seemed to be the best thing since none us of knew how to do any of that.
Annie remembered to ask the most important question. “Ethel, I don’t think we ever asked if you wanted to sell the house and farm. I am sorry we did not. As you said, this is your home.”
I started to answer for Ethel because we had talked about this, but Ethel spoke quickly. “I don’t want to live here. This is not really my house, it’s Momma’s. When Marie was born, my plan was to get married and move away with Frank. You know that story. Frank wanted his parents’ money more than he wanted me. I stayed here to help Momma, and she liked having Marie close by. Now that Momma is gone, I couldn’t stand to be here seeing her in every corner of this house and land and know she’s not here. I need a new life for Marie and me. The sale of all this will make it possible for us to do that.”
Annie reminisced a moment. “I know what you mean, Ethel. When I see the swing out front and the fence that will be covered in yellow roses, it makes make me sad. The Virginia Creeper, that red vine beside the porch, now looks sorrowful to me. Remember when we used to climb that vine to get up on the roof? We could see the whole county up there. That vine was like us sisters. Changing every season. Growing green leaves in the spring and a stronger trunk in the summer. Then turning red in the fall before dropping its leaves. It hung there waiting to come back to life after winter. And then the flat land where the barn used to be. It is all too gloomy to stay around. Dianne, how about you?”
“This morning I was sitting on the front porch with my coffee and a black car went by and paused in front of the house. I just stared at it. A sharp memory came alive. It was almost as if time stopped that day the Army came to tell us that Daddy was killed in the war. Caroline was in Lila’s arms when Momma fell apart. Ethel, do you remember Lila?” Ethel nodded.
Dianne continued, “She was so easy with Caroline. I think Lila was the reason Caroline wanted to take care of children. That memory struck me in the gut this morning like someone punched me. I felt sick. At that point I knew it was the right thing to sell. Ethel is right. She usually is.”
By the end of the week we had written a list of everything we wanted to sell and each of us had our own list of what we wanted to take with us. We decided the house with the ten acres could be sold separately from the ninety acres of farmland. Since the crash in 1929, farming was a terrible way to make a living, but maybe someone would buy it with hopes of things getting better. Thank goodness Momma had been sensible with her money. She only owed the bank for last year’s seeds. There was no mortgage on the land. Momma never borrowed money to pay the farm workers. She paid them out of her savings every year.
On Friday, March 18, 1932, the Nash sisters, except for Caroline, signed the legal papers to settle the estate of Florence Nash. The lawyer signed for Caroline, as he was authorized to do. After more discussion we had agreed to divide any money we got from the sale of property four ways. If we did not make enough money for a fourth to cover Caroline’s medical bills, we would divide the money differently. Annie insisted that she didn’t need the money. She had a good job, paid her rent easily, and there were men around willing to buy her what else she might need.
Joe had a secure job at the mill, and I made money raising vegetables and sewing for other families. If need be, whatever was earned from the sale of the farm would be used t
o get Ethel settled in a new place and pay for Caroline’s care at Dix Hill.
The following week we packed up what we wanted from the house. Annie’s car was big enough for her to carry all her things back to Washington. Joe came from Burlington with a horse and wagon big enough to take what was on my list. Ethel would stay in the house as long as she needed to. We hoped she would take time to find the right house for her little family. We set a date to come back in the summer. Most likely it would take several months for anything to sell. It would be our excuse to help her pack up the rest of the dishes, linens, and furniture, and we could try again to visit Caroline.
As we stood in the front yard for one more goodbye, I decided to tell them my news. “I read somewhere that when a person dies another one is born. Well, that might be true. Joe and I are finally going to have a baby! If all goes well, Marie will have a cousin at the end of the summer.”
Tears trailed from Annie’s eyes. I couldn’t tell if they were happy or sad tears. She grabbed my shoulders and pulled me to her. “Oh, Dianne, this is so wonderful! I am happy beyond words for you and Joe!”
Ethel said, “Woo boy. What a load you will have on your hands! Those ladies in mill town are going to want to take over for you! They will boss you around in all new ways.”
She paused, then joined the Nash girl hug. “I guess I am gonna have to live closer to you so Marie will know her cousin. Hey, Joe, you got enough room in that house for all of us?”
Joe yelled back from the wagon, “I think if you are all coming, we’ve got to find a bigger house!”
I put my arm around Annie and walked her to the car. “Would you come too? Would you live with us?”
Drying her tears through a smile she said, “We’ll see. I am not sure I could find a good job in Burlington and certainly won’t find rich men! But we will see.”
As Annie got into her car, Ethel started belting out a song to the tune of America the Beautiful. She obviously had practiced it a few times, but not many.
How beautiful the Nash girls are,
With family waves of love,
For moving away from memories
To new ones that we’ll love!
Nash Girls! Oh, Nash Girls!
Let’s shed our grace on thee
And crown ourselves with sisterhood
From D.C. to Raleigh!
Annie backed her car around to leave but paused to hear the song. Joe and I pulled ourselves up on the packed wagon. I shouted as tears were pouring, “Sing it one more time, Ethel! I want to have it on my mind all the way home!”
So Ethel belted it out once more.
How beautiful the Nash girls are,
With family waves of love,
For moving away from memories
To new ones that we’ll love!
Nash Girls! Oh, Nash Girls!
Let’s shed our grace on thee
And crown ourselves with sisterhood
From D.C. to Raleigh!
After the encore ended, Annie started to drive away. She flung her arm out the window and waved goodbye.
APRIL 1932
Ethel
Visiting Caroline
Dianne and Annie came back home a month later. They wanted to help me organize any furniture we did not want so it could be sold. But more importantly, we were going to visit Caroline.
Finding out about Caroline’s life and treatment at Dorothea Dix State Hospital had brought sadness and happiness. Caroline must live there until she is no longer diagnosed as insane. We knew this was the best option for Caroline, given what happened at home. No matter how beautiful the campus was or how kind and effective the doctors and nurses were, Caroline was in prison.
Here is how the Nash sisters made it through the visit.
As we drove through the gates in Annie’s fancy car, we got lots of stares from people wandering around the property. Annie held her arm out the window of that big, green Nash car, waving and yelling, “Hello!” Hey y’all!” to nearly everyone we passed. They waved back with big smiles like they were seeing famous people riding by in a parade.
We had been told to go to the hospital first and talk with Caroline’s doctor and nurses. They were expecting us. Even though all three of us had been there before, the hospital struck me as bigger than any building I had ever seen. I said, “Geez, I wonder how many people stay in there.” Annie turned around to me and said, “Too many.”
There was a woman at a small desk in the front lobby. She was talking on the phone to someone, so we waited. The ceilings were high. There were tall windows, but each one had iron bars covering it. I saw Dianne move close to Annie and ask her if she was doing okay. Annie looked so sad and said, “No. I hate this place. It smells like nothing and no one. Like there is no life here. I despise that Caroline lives here.”
Dianne hugged Annie and said, “I agree, Annie. It smells clean. Too clean. Like they are covering up something.”
I moved close to my sisters and whispered, “I don’t wish this on Caroline, but she needs help and this seems like the only place where she can get it.”
We all jumped a little when the woman behind the desk asked if she could help us.
We walked over to her, and I said, “Yes. We are sisters of Caroline Nash. We want to visit her but are supposed to see her doctor first. Can we go back? We’ve been here before.”
In a very patient tone the woman replied, “Yes, of course, you can see Caroline. Caroline is in the arts and crafts room on the fourth floor. Someone will have to escort you there. The doctor will be down this hallway.” She was pointing behind her. “Go through those doors. Caroline’s doctor and caregivers are waiting for you in room 135.”
None of us could smile. It seemed all happiness was pulled from our bodies. Annie, the ever polite, managed to say thank you as we walked toward the doors.
We grabbed each other’s hand and walked down the long hallway like Dorothy and her friends in the Wizard of Oz movie that we had all seen. Room 135 seemed a mile away.
I knocked on the door and a man’s voice called out, “Enter!” Standing behind a desk was the same man Momma and I met when we came the first time. He was tall but slumped and used a cane to get around the desk. “Welcome, I am so glad you are here.”
I pointed to myself then to each of my sisters and said, “I am Ethel. This is my sister Dianne and my sister Annie. We have been here together before but could not see Caroline because she was not doing well. I hope there is better news this time.”
He smiled and shook each of our hands and said, “I’m Doctor Tom Redmond. You can call me Doc. These people over here are most important to you. They take good care of Caroline. This is Belle Parker.” He pointed to a large black woman with the warmest smile. Belle came over, put her hand on each of our shoulders, one at a time, and held it there just a moment. With that kind smile, she said, “I am so glad to know you. Every one of you.”
Doc said, “She is a caregiver. She knows Caroline like a friend. And here is Caroline’s nurse, Mrs. Sandra Quinn.”
Mrs. Quinn looked like someone that didn’t want us to call her Sandra. She just nodded her head in an official type of move and said, “Good to meet you.”
We all sat down at a large round table, and Doc began to talk.
“First let me say how sorry I am that you lost your mother. She was such a dear person. She wanted the best treatment for Caroline. I want to summarize a few things. As you know, Caroline has been here a year. She was brought here by her own choice. She was transported here from the hospital where they cared for her physical wounds following the fire. When the authorities charged her with a crime, the result of the judicial process was that the state required her to be here. Caroline was not convicted of arson or murder by reason of insanity. As her doctor, I concurred with the decision for Caroline to be confined here until she is well. Our job is to care for Caroline’s mental wounds.”
I could hear Annie begin to cry softly.
He continued, “Prior
to the authorities making their decision about Caroline, your mother made arrangements for her to be treated for another year. Now Caroline’s cost of care is being covered by the State of North Carolina. You will be able to pick up a check for the balance owned the estate of Florence Nash from the clerk before you leave.”
At that, we were all reaching for our handkerchiefs. Dianne dabbed her eyes. She had something important on her mind. “Dr. Redmond, will Caroline’s care and treatment be the same as if we are paying for it? I don’t want her to get less attention because the government cannot afford it.”
“Dianne, I don’t know much about budget or book-keeping, but I can assure you we treat each patient based on what they need. Not what it will cost.”
Belle spoke as if she was hurt. “You can count on that! Caroline is not a case number; she is a person we care about! I know we can help her. I have already seen some healing of her heart. I know there will also be more healing of her mind.”
Dianne quickly responded saying she was sorry, but she just wanted to be sure.
“I know you did. It is okay.” Belle said with that warm smile back in place.
It seemed Doc needed to change the subject. “Yes. No need for anyone to apologize. Now, Mrs. Quinn, can you explain Caroline’s condition and treatment?”
“Certainly, Doctor,” the nurse said. “Caroline is psychosomatic, meaning she has a disorder of the mind. She has erratic emotions, suffers bouts of depression, claims she hears voices telling her to hurt people, and is paranoid.
“In the first few months she was here, she did not socialize with others and did not feel safe anywhere but in her room. The doctors prescribed medication to balance her moods and quiet the voices. The therapies we used were slow integration with others here and assigning her chores that were rhythmic in nature such as folding towels and washing dishes. The doctors adjusted medications, and we monitored her food intake. We began an exercise regimen twice a week. When it became apparent that Caroline was very good with her hands, we let her work in the garden.