Glancing at my watch, I realize I’m late to class. Shit. I haul ass and run across the campus to the Criminal Justice building. This semester is almost over and I can’t wait for the summer. I found a job as an assistant to a private investigator which I’m dying to start.
I run into class just in time and hope the professor didn’t see me sneak in. I take a seat next to Brooklyn, apparently she wants to be an investigator, too, but I don’t buy it. For the past two years, she’s weaseled her way into my life, one way or another. I haven’t talked to her much, except for the usual small talk, but nothing substantial.
She smiles at me as I take a seat and smile back. The professor starts to discuss criminal behavior and how to examine the different typologies of it. It all rallies off any psychological issues that the criminal may have, which in turn, can result in the act of a crime.
I immediately think of Craig and my blood starts to boil. He’s a fucking prick and I’m happy he’s behind bars. But honestly, for what he did, I would rather see him dead, and I have no problem with taking care of that myself.
As we dissect criminal behavior, we dive into discussions about motivations for the crime. I think about Craig and can’t figure out his motivation. I know he hated Raya and wanted to hurt her to get back at Genna, but was that really the motivation? What about the alcohol? Was that a factor in his behavior? It had to be.
For the remainder of the class, we continue our discussion and even dip into a little bit of sex offenders, psychopathic behavior, and serial murderers. As I walk out of class, my mind is still on Craig as I try to decipher his actions. I just can’t figure them out. What was the whole point of his actions with Genna and Raya? Was there something underneath it all? Was he hiding something?
I remember Raya saying that he was constantly away on business. Perhaps he was hiding something that they never figured out. As I rack my brain, trying to uncover his secrets, someone grabs hold of my arm.
I turn around quickly and see Brooklyn holding on to me. I pull my arm out of her grasp and start to walk away from her.
She runs to catch up to me and calls out to me, “Wait, Duke. Hold up!”
I stop and turn around to face her, “Brooklyn, what do you want?”
“Do you want to come over tonight? It’s the last week of class before finals and I was wondering if you wanted to chill later.”
I sigh and run my hands through my hair, “Look, Brooklyn, I don’t know how many times I’ve said this, but I’m not interested. I have other things to do besides you at the moment.”
She frowns and crosses her arms, “It was just to hang, not to hook up.”
“Yeah, well, I’ve got to be somewhere. I’ll see you around.”
As I turn around, she says, “It’s been three years, Duke. When are you going to let go of her?”
Her incompetence boils my blood and I spin to face her, “I will never let go of her. I promised her I would do everything I could to protect her and that’s what I’m going to do.”
She recoils, “Duke, she left you! Why can’t you see that she didn’t want you?”
“She didn’t leave me because she wanted to, but because she felt it was necessary for me to live a better life. I loved her with all of my heart and I know she loved me, too. One thing’s for sure…I’m going to find her and show her how much I love her. Because when’s she back in my arms, she will never escape them.”
And with that, I turn around and leave Brooklyn alone to take in what I just proclaimed. I take out my phone from my pocket and dial Rob’s number.
After three rings he picks up, “Hey, man, what’s up?”
“I need to see Craig. Do you know where he is?”
I hear him choke a little, “Wait, what? Craig…Raya’s step-father?”
“Yes, the bastard who killed her mother. Do you know where he is?”
“Duke, listen to me, why are you doing this? Isn’t it time to let go? It’s over, man.”
I growl through the phone, “No, it’s never over until I know she’s safe! Now, stop being an ass. Do you know where Craig is being held?”
“Why do you want to know?”
“I need to talk to him about something.”
“What?! Listen, Duke, the authorities already got their statements from him. Besides, what good will it do?”
“I realized today that Craig was hiding something. I don’t know what, but I’m going to find out. I need to get in there and talk to him. Now, will you help me or not?”
Rob sighs, “Okay, I’ll make a few calls. I might have my boss get in touch with the prosecutor and find out where he’s located. I’ll let you know as soon as I find out.”
“Okay, thanks, bro.”
“I hope you know what you’re getting yourself into.”
“Trust me, she’s worth it.”
Duke
I groggily turn on the water in the shower and step in, bringing my sleepy body to life. I lather my hair with shampoo and prepare myself for the day. It’s going to be a rough day but I need to strive through it. My goal is to find her and I won’t ever stop.
As I soap my body, I imagine her laughter echoing in the bathroom. Just hearing it makes me smile. No matter what I’m doing, she finds a way to creep into my thoughts. She absolutely haunts me, in and out of my dreams. Her brilliant and dazzling smile melts my heart as I image holding her in my arms. She fits perfectly in my grasp—absolutely fucking perfect.
I remember our time at prom, dancing along to the music. She was so happy, happier than I’d ever seen her before. I would do anything to give her that happiness again. Her sparkly, purple dress flows along her stunning body and sways along to the beats of the music. As I caress her arms, I feel goose bumps crawl over her skin. She giggles softly and rests her head on my shoulder as we sway to the song.
Stepping into the water, I wash the soap from my body. I close my eyes and all I see are hers, staring right back at me. No matter how many times I remember them, they always capture my attention. They are completely and utterly breathtaking.
Thinking about her causes unwanted feelings of anger and regret to fill my mind. I shake them away, shut off the water, and step out of the shower. Wrapping a towel around my mid-section, I head into my bedroom to get changed. I lay out a nice pair of jeans with a nice white short-sleeve polo.
As I pull the shirt on, my phone starts to ring. I walk toward my dresser to see who’s calling me and see Rob’s name illuminate the screen.
I quickly press the green button, “Hello?”
“Hey, I know where he is.”
“Well, that only took a day. Where is he?”
“He’s at Auburn.”
“Auburn? What’s that…about a five hour drive?”
“Give or take. You’ll need to call ahead to confirm visiting hours and all you need is your photo ID.”
“Okay, let me grab a pen, hold on.”
I rush downstairs to grab a pen and paper and jot down the number. Rob offers to come with me but I tell him I’d rather go alone. He wishes me luck and hangs up the phone.
I head upstairs to finish getting dressed and comb my hair before I go back downstairs to make a quick bowl of cereal. Breakfast of champions. I quickly gobble up the cereal and grab my phone to call Auburn Correctional Facility. The operator tells me that normal visiting hours are between the hours of nine a.m. and twelve noon on the first and third Wednesday of each month for those with the last names A through L and Thursdays for those with the last names M through Z. She tells me that two visitors can visit at one time and anything more than two requires a special visitation request. I thank her for the information and hang up the phone.
The next visiting day for Craig is next Thursday. I jot down everything I want to ask him, but I know I have an allotted time slot, so it can’t be too many questions. And that’s if he even answers them, which I doubt he will, but maybe his cockiness will leave a hint or two.
As I think of questions to ask, my mom comes downstairs and gives me a quick hug. She squeezes tightly and kisses me softly on the cheek before lets go and heads into the kitchen.
“What was that for?”
She sighs, “I know what day it is and just want to make sure you’re doing okay. I want you to know how much I love you.”
I smile, walk up to her, and pick her up, pulling her into a bear hug. She cries out as I squeeze her and smacks me to put her down. I laugh as I easily set her back on the ground. She caresses my cheek and smoothes out the loose strands of my hair.
“Mom, it’s okay. I’ll be fine today. It’s just like any other time before.”
“Honey, are you sure you don’t want me to go with you? I know it’s your time, but I don’t mind keeping you company.”
I give her a kiss on the cheek, “Mom, trust me. I’ll be fine.”
I jump in the Mustang and drive the short distance to the flower shop. I pick out an assorted arrangement of salmon colored roses, purple irises, and yellow star flowers. The florist wraps the flowers and puts them in a glass vase, all nicely woven together. I cash out with the cashier and carefully place them on the passenger seat.
Fifteen minutes later, I enter Saint Raymond’s Cemetery and slowly drive to the assigned section. As I approach the lot, I find a parking spot by the curb and slide the Mustang in. Grabbing hold of the flowers, I take in a deep breath and walk toward the plot. As I pass other graves, I glance around at all of the tombstones and wonder how each and every one of them passed. Was it quick? Was it unexpected? Or was it the inevitable? Were they surrounded by family? Or all alone, slowly withering away in the dark?
A few minutes later, I arrive at the grave and place the fresh flowers on the tombstone. Bending down on one knee, I say a silent prayer before I kiss the tip of my fingers and touch the tombstone. I stand up and look up at the sky. The warm sun beams down on my face as the cool spring breeze blows.
I glance back down at the grave, “Beautiful day, isn’t it, Genna?”
I pause as if she’s going to respond, but all I hear is silence.
“Well, it’s a lovely day. Yesterday, it poured like crazy and I think it’s the perfect day for a visit, don’t you think?
I continue talking to Genna as if she can hear me, “I’m almost done with my junior year of college. The semester ends next week, and soon I’ll start my internship with a private investigator. He used to be a detective in the force and just went off on his own. I’m actually really excited to start working with him. I have a few ideas on how to find her.”
“The idea actually came to me while I was in class. We were discussing the motives for an act of crime and it came to me that Craig didn’t really have one. Well, I mean, he did in that he wanted to hurt you for letting Raya attend the prom. But there has to be something more, don’t you think?”
I chuckle to myself, “I must look like a complete lunatic talking to myself, but what can I say, it feels good to talk to you.”
I sigh and comb my fingers through my hair before continuing, “Genna…I still miss her. Every day she haunts me and I can’t focus sometimes. It’s been three years and I still love her the same as I did. At times, I hear her laughter echoing around me and imagine her singing to me. However, I can’t shake this feeling like she’s in trouble and I don’t know what to do. I’m still pissed at her for leaving me, but all I care about is her safety and happiness. I just hope I’m not too late.”
I continue to talk to Genna about my unforgettable thoughts of Raya and then divulge more news about the discovery of her poems and songs. I slip a piece of paper from my back pocket and read a song out loud. As I read the song, the soft wind blows, trees sway, and the flowers wave.
As I read the affectionate lyrics of Raya’s song, I hear someone call my name from behind me, “Duke?”
I stop reading, spin around, and see her standing a few feet away, “Melanie?”
Melanie nervously walks up to the grave and places a vase on the tombstone, next to my set of flowers. She walks to my side and smiles at me. I return the smile and continue reading the lyrics from Raya’s song. I finish reading, fold up the paper, and turn to walk away.
Melanie reaches to grab my arm, “Duke, please. Stay with me.”
I let out a deep breath and decide to stay with Melanie. She walks up closer to the tombstone and begins to speak out loud, telling Genna about her life in college—recently graduating from nursing school, finding an apartment in the city, and scoring a stellar interview for a registered nursing position at New York Presbyterian Hospital.
Listening to her stories, I smile and hope that these past few years have been easy on her. I shake my head and practically kick myself for being an asshole and shutting her out. Watching her discuss her stories with Genna, I realize that maybe Melanie and I would have been better these past few years if we still talked. Perhaps Raya’s disappearance would have been a little easier to handle.
About ten minutes later, Melanie finishes up and turns to look at me, “Would you like to say anything else?”
I walk up to the grave, “I’ll come visit again, Genna. I promise.”
I turn around and walk back to my car with Melanie following closely behind me. We walk in a comfortable silence and I glance at her. She wipes a tear from her face and I wrap my arm around her shoulder, offering a small amount of comfort.
As I see my Mustang, I glance around to find Melanie’s car, but don’t see it.
“Where’s your car, Mel?”
She pulls away from me, “Oh, I sold it. I figured I won’t need it if I’m in the city. I took the bus to get here.”
“Oh, okay.”
She leans in and gives me a quick hug. “It was nice seeing you,” she whispers and turns to walk away toward the exit of the cemetery.
I climb inside the Mustang, insert the key, and rev the engine to life. I drive off and see Melanie walking on the sidewalk toward the bus stop. My gut tells me to stop and pick her up, so that’s exactly what I do.
I pull along the curb and roll down the window, “Hey, do you want to grab a quick bite? I know a pretty sweet bakery that has some kick-ass éclairs.”
Melanie looks at me hesitantly and smiles. She shrugs her shoulders, “Why not?” As she enters the car, her smile shines bright, “Thank you. I thought you were going to leave me high and dry.”
I chuckle and pull away from the curb and toward the bakery, “Yeah, well, I’m trying not to be a dick anymore. I’m sorry for being an ass these past few years. I guess it was just easier to shut people out.”
She reaches for my hand and squeezes, “I understand and I forgive you.”
I hold the door open for Melanie and follow her inside Zeppieri’s Italian Bakery. We wait in line and I think about what I’m going to order.
Melanie whispers, “So, what are you getting?”
I ponder for a quick second, “I’m going to get a slice of strawberry cheesecake, a cherry tart, and an apple turnover. What are you getting?”
“Hmm, I think I’ll try the chocolate éclair and get a few of the three layer cookies.”
A few minutes later, we place our orders and grab an empty booth. We start to eat our goodies in silence and I catch Melanie staring at me.
I wipe my mouth with a napkin, “Do I have something on my face?”
She giggles, “No, it’s just good to see you, that’s all. I never expected to see you again, let alone on this day.”
“Yeah, it’s surreal, but perhaps it’s a good thing. How are those éclairs?”
She glances down at her empty plate, “Delicious!”
I laugh at her enthusiasm and realize I haven’t laughed like this in a long time. Melanie always brought out the good in people. No matter what she did or said, she always managed to make me smile.
“So, I see you graduated nursing school. Congratulations. That was fast, huh? Did you bulk up on classes?
“Yes, I doubled the course load and also took summer courses. It was so worth it. I have an interview and I’m praying I get this job.”
I shower her with words of encouragement, “I’m sure you’ll get the job. You’ve always been determined and motivated. Besides, you’ll make a great nurse. If I ever get sick, I’d want you to take care of me.”
She laughs, “Actually, it’s for the trauma department, so you probably won’t see me very often, unless you get shot or something.”
“Hey, you never know, I might.”
Her eyes grow wide, “What do you mean?”
I chuckle, “I’m going to be an investigator. I’ve been studying Criminal Justice and have one year left. My plan is to open my own firm and take on my own clients. That way, I decide what hours I work and what cases I choose to accept.”
“That sounds great, Duke. I’m very proud of you. How’s your mom?”
“Ehh, annoying as ever, but I love her, so I deal with it.”
She slaps my arm, “Don’t say that. Your mom is great! I remember when she baked the most delicious chocolate chip cookies ever! They were so warm and gooey; just thinking about them makes my stomach grumble.”
“Ha-ha! Yeah, she does have skills in the kitchen. Do you keep in touch with anyone from Lehman?”
“I lost touch with the girls once we graduated. Everyone went their separate ways, but I did see Rob a few months ago in the city. I hear he’s studying to be a lawyer. Can you imagine Rob as a lawyer? I never saw that one coming.”
I laugh at her statement, “That’s exactly what I was thinking. But hey, Rob may be the perfect attorney.”
“So, how are you holding up with…you know?”
I chuckle at her hesitation, “You mean with Raya?”
“Yeah, have you heard from her?”
I shake my head, “No, but I’m not giving up on her. I don’t know what it is, but I sense something’s wrong with her. I can’t really explain it. And I still see her face everywhere I go—in my dreams, at school, while I drive, heck, even in the shower.”
Little Things Page 16