A few hours later, the nurse enters the room and I wake from my short nap. My eyes are groggy and heavy and my body tenses with stress and nerves as I look at Raya, only to still find her asleep. I look over at Melanie’s chair, but it’s empty. I stand up and walk toward the bathroom. She’s not in there. Shit, where the hell did she go?
The nurse is checking Raya’s vitals and I approach her quietly, “Excuse me, ma’am, do you know where my friend went?”
The nurse smiles, “Oh, I believe she went to the cafeteria to get some breakfast. She should be back in a few minutes. Come relax on the cot for a bit. Your back must be killing you.”
I stretch my back just as she says that. Maybe I should get some rest just in case Raya wakes up. I’ll need to be at my best for her. I stroll to the cot and lie down. It’s not comfortable at all but it beats the hemorrhoid inducing chair. The nurse lays a blanket over me and starts to head out of the room.
I call out to her, “Ma’am, do you mind waiting to leave until my friend arrives? I don’t want to fall asleep without anyone here to watch Raya.”
She nods, “Sure, I can wait for a bit.”
I smile at her graciously, “Thank you.”
I adjust myself into a comfortable position and shut my eyes to try and get some rest.
The next thing I know, my body is being shaken until I practically fall off the cot.
My eyes shoot open to find Melanie staring at me, trying to wake me up.
“What is it, Melanie?”
“It’s Raya. I think she’s waking up.”
I jump out of the cot and rush to the bed, “How long was I out?”
“Three hours. I’ll get the nurse.”
I grab Raya’s hand and she stirs awake. Her body moves slightly and she lets out a soft moan as she tries to open her eyes. Melanie and the nurse enter the room. Melanie stands on the other side of the bed, while the nurse begins to check the monitors for anything irregular.
She heads to the door and says, “I’ll notify the doctor,” and rushes into the hall.
Raya continues to stir and lift her eyelids. I glance at Melanie, “Get her some water. She’s probably severely dehydrated.”
“You’re probably right.” She heads to the restroom to fill a small cup of water and returns, placing it on the small table.
Melanie grabs Raya’s hand and softly says, “Raya, can you hear me, sweetie? If you can hear me, open your eyes.”
Her eyes slowly open, adjusting to the light in the room. My body freezes and my heart stops beating. I feel sweat start to form on my forehead and I quickly swipe it away with a napkin. She stirs in her bed as the light hits her delicate eyes.
I lean down to whisper softly, “Raya, I’m here. Can you hear me?”
She opens her eyes fully and I’m immediately transfixed. They are even more magnificent than I remembered—the hint of blue dazzles and sparkles leaving a tingly feeling in my heart and soul. They are absolutely mesmerizing; I can get lost in them for hours.
We stare at each other for what seems likes a few minutes. We don’t speak with our words but with our eyes. I can tell she recognizes me; she has to. She has to feel the same effect that I feel right now.
Pure joy courses through me and I lean down to kiss her forehead, “I’m so happy you’re here, Raya.”
As I lean back, her breathing becomes erratic and she looks panicked. I glance at Melanie, “What’s wrong?”
She glances at the monitors, “I think she’s having a panic attack.”
Melanie rushes out to get the nurse. At that moment, Raya begins to moan in pain as her body trembles violently and her monitors begin to beep frantically. The doctor rushes into the room and Melanie follows.
Dr. Hunter orders the nurse to hold Raya steady and turn her on her side. As her seizure starts to get worse, her body convulses and her eyes roll into the back of her head. I stand back to allow the doctor to examine her quickly and Melanie stands close by. He yells at the nurse to administer a sedative into the I.V. drip. The nurse follows his orders, and within seconds, Raya is completely calm and relaxed like it never happened.
Dr. Hunter turns to us, “What happened?”
I respond, “Nothing, she just started waking up so we talked to her quietly. Then she just started to panic.”
“Do you think she recognized you?”
“Yes, I’m sure she did.”
He rubs his finger along his chin, “Perhaps the panic attack was physiological? She’s going to definitely need to see a specialist. I’m afraid that her release back into the world is going to be hard on her.”
“Whatever needs to be done, I can handle it. I just want to help her.”
Dr. Hunter pats my shoulder, “I’m sure you do, but sometimes these things don’t happen overnight. She might not be the same Raya you knew six years ago.”
“Even if she’s changed, I can bring her back.”
Melanie stands next to me and grabs my hand, “We will both bring her back.”
I turn to her and smile, “How did I get so lucky to have you in my life?”
She giggles, “It’s not luck—I choose to be here.”
For the next week, Melanie and I take turns watching over Raya. Her lung has healed, thankfully, and her bruises have even gone down. However, a few days ago she started having flu-like symptoms and vomited. One day, she even woke in a brutal sweat. Her entire body was wet with sweat and Melanie had to help the nurses change her clothing.
After several tests, Dr. Hunter advised that Raya was going through withdrawal. Her moods have become erratic, she has the sweats, and she even has difficulty breathing at some. We have to keep her under tight surveillance just in case she vomits so she doesn’t choke on it. Seeing her in pain kills me; I wish I could take it all away. To watch her suffer, day after day, is not an easy task. They start detox medications on her which make matters worse because she’s still healing from the surgery. She has to endure the pain of her physical wounds on top of the pains from the withdrawal.
Melanie glances at me, “Why don’t you take a break? Grab a bite to eat. I can watch her.”
I shake my head, “No, I don’t want to leave her.”
“Duke, we’ll be fine. Trust me, I’m a nurse, remember?”
I sigh, “Fine. Do you want anything?”
“Nope, I’m good.”
“Okay, I’ll be back in a bit.”
I leave the room only to run into a cop standing outside her door.
“Oh, excuse me, officer.”
“Are you Duke Grayson?”
I hesitate, “Yes?”
He takes out his badge to verify his identity, “I’m Officer Whitmore. I’ve been assigned to Miss Winters’s case.”
I breathe a sigh of relief, “Did you guys find Derrick? Is that why you’re here?”
“No, I’m here to ask you a few questions about Mr. Anderson. Have you met him before?”
“Technically no, I’ve never met him, but he knows her step-father, Craig Willis. Craig is currently incarcerated at Auburn Correctional Facility in New York.”
“Do you know how Miss Winters and Mr. Anderson came to know each other?”
“No, I do not. However, I suspect they may have met at the gym. He’s a kickboxing instructor.”
Officer Whitmore continues to ask me several questions about Derrick and my involvement in the case. There’s nothing new that I can really offer, so the conversation ends quickly and he returns to the station.
As I walk to the cafeteria, I grab my phone out of my pocket and dial Rob’s number.
On the third ring he answers, “Hey, how is she?”
“Ehh, not good. She’s still going through the withdrawal.”
“Geezus, what did they do to her?”
“Honestly, I don’t even want to know. She’s been in an out of consciousness all week and hasn’t said a word.”
“Maybe she’s in shock. Y
ou know, PTSD.”
“That’s what Melanie suggests and I agree. The thing is, I know she recognizes me, I can feel it, but she won’t acknowledge me or Melanie. She just stares off into space or out the window. I’ll talk and talk and talk and won’t get a peep out of her. I don’t know what to do, Rob. I feel like I’m failing all over again.”
“Don’t beat yourself up over this. It won’t be easy. The best thing you can do is be by her side. As long as she sees that you’re not giving up, she’ll know that you’re there for her. Don’t let her see your aggravation and sense of failure. It’ll make things worse.”
I let out a deep breath, “Yeah, you’re probably right. Listen, I need you to do me a favor.”
“Sure, Duke. What do you need?”
“I need you to keep an eye on my place while I’m out. Derrick is still on the loose and I know he’ll be coming after her sooner or later. I don’t want him showing up at my apartment if I’m not there. If you see anything strange going on, call me. I’m going to call my folks and tell them to head out of the city for a bit. I can’t focus on keeping Raya safe if my parents are an easy target as well.”
“Got it. Hey, while I have you on the phone… With everything that has happened, they postponed Craig’s transfer and he’s being charged with orchestrating and operating the prostitution ring.”
“That’s the best news I’ve heard all day. When is the trial?”
“Come on, you know how these things work. They take years to go to trial. And I can promise you this, he’s going to fight it.”
“Over my dead body.”
Rob laughs at my remark, “Just focus on the girl, okay? I’ll call you with any more details.”
“Thanks, Rob.”
“No problem, bro.”
A week later, the doctor tells us that Raya can be discharged. We get all of her papers signed and give our final statements to the police. Raya still hasn’t spoken a single word, but I think that once she’s back home in New York, she’ll slowly open up to us. Melanie runs to the store to pick up a few clothes for her so I stay with Raya until she returns.
I sit on the bed next to Raya as she stares out the window. I wrap my hand around hers and whisper, “You’re going home with me. Are you ready?”
She keeps her silence, but squeezes my hand instead, sending a glimpse of hope back into my life.
Duke
It’s been two weeks since Raya’s been home and it hasn’t been easy. Thankfully, Melanie has been stopping by almost every day, because if she hadn’t, I wouldn’t have been able to do this without her. Between Raya’s complete shutdown and just the basic steps of caring for another person, my whole life has been turned upside down.
The first night was pretty smooth. We arrived from the airport and Melanie immediately went out to buy some clothes for her. I carried Raya to her bedroom and carefully laid her on the bed, covering her up with warm blankets. She fell asleep instantly, allowing me to tidy up the place. She slept the entire night with no issues. At first, I was a little worried that perhaps her mind was pulling her away from us, but Melanie told me to stop worrying too much.
Throughout the day, I would sit her up on the bed, carefully feeding her soup or oatmeal. The doctor told me to feed her foods that don’t require a lot of chewing as her jaw still needs to set in place. After her meal, I decided to open the curtains just to get some warm sunlight into the apartment. I remember how much she used to love the sun and felt with her not being able to see it for over five years, perhaps it was the right choice. Maybe it would help bring her back to me.
Since the second night, she’s had a terrible nightmare every night. The first time she had one, I remember sleeping in my room and being woken up by her screams of horror. I rushed out of my bed and into her room, to find her thrashing around violently in her bed.
I went to her and grabbed her wrists, trying to calm her down. Her cries of begging me to stop echoed throughout her room and it completely shattered my heart to pieces.
“Raya, it’s me. I’m not hurting you. Wake up.”
She continued to thrash and tremble in the bed, yelling for me to stop touching her. Panic began to seep into my thoughts as her facial expressions showed exactly what I feared happened to her.
“It’s Duke. Wake up, Raya. You’re dreaming, wake up!”
Instantly her eyes shot open as she woke from her horrific dream. Her breathing was fast and her panting grew erratic. Sweat dripped down her face and onto her cheeks. She looked around the room, slowly realizing where she was.
I whispered, “Raya, you’re safe. You’re with me now, remember?”
Her eyes focused on mine as I tried to bring her back to reality. My hand cupped her face and wiped away a tear that escaped her eye.
“Relax, Raya, breathe. Remember that you’re safe with me.”
After several minutes, her breathing slowed to a normal pace and the trembling stopped. She looked away from me, staring out at the city lights. I grabbed her hand in mine as I joined her star gazing and sat in silence until she drifted away into a calm slumber.
As I make some scrambled eggs and bacon, the buzzer to my front door beeps.
I walk over to the intercom and push the button, “Who is it?”
Melanie responds, “It’s me, let me up.”
I buzz her in and a few seconds later, she enters the apartment. I nod my head toward her as I continue making breakfast. She strolls into the kitchen, opens the refrigerator, and grabs the orange juice container. Opening a cupboard, she takes a glass and pours some fresh juice for herself.
She sits at the table while I cook, “How is she?”
I shrug my shoulders, “Not any different. Her nightmares continue and she still hasn’t said a word to me.”
“Do you think I should talk to her?”
“Yeah, you can try. I know she needs time, but seeing her like this…it’s hard, you know?”
I finish up the eggs and scoop them onto a serving plate. Melanie hops out of her chair, strolls up to me, and wraps her arms around me.
“She’ll get through this. I believe that she’s strong enough, but I’m worried that she doesn’t believe in herself to get better.”
She takes the plate of eggs and bacon from my hand, “I’ll go bring her breakfast and talk to her. You look exhausted. Take a nap while I’m here.”
“Thanks, Melanie.”
She walks into Raya’s room and shuts the door. I think about leaning in and listening but decide against it, so I head back into the kitchen to clean up my mess and wash some dishes. Then I start a load of laundry, wipe down the coffee table, and run a quick sweep throughout the living room and foyer. Once everything is cleaned up, I finally make my way to the sofa and collapse onto it. Just as I’m about to drift into a quick nap, Raya’s door opens. I lift my head to see Melanie tip-toeing out of the room.
She walks toward me, picks up my legs off the sofa, and sits in their old spot, laying them on top of her.
“How did it go?”
“Her stitches look good and her ribs are healing nicely.”
“That’s not what I meant.”
“I know. She didn’t talk much. I actually brought up a funny story that we shared in high school, hoping to make her laugh, but nothing. It’s like she didn’t even register that I was in the room with her.”
“Yeah, that’s how it’s been. I’m going to call the therapist and get her an appointment.”
“Okay. If you want, I can take her. I know you probably need to get back to work soon anyway.”
“Davis understands everything that’s going on, but I do need to get back. You don’t mind taking her?”
“Nope, I work the night shift, remember? I’m open during the day and I don’t need a lot of sleep to function.”
“Okay, great. I’ll call them tomorrow and see how fast they can see Raya. What do I tell them?”
“Just be honest with them,
Duke. They’ll know what to do with her. These things take time, remember that.”
Exiting the subway station, I crash into a crowd of people gathered outside. I maneuver through the mass, twisting and turning, slowly walking out of the horde. You’ve got to love New York streets; always littered with people, no matter what time of day. Turning east, I walk the three blocks to my apartment building. I enter and run up the flight of stairs until I reach the loft. As I enter, I see Melanie cuddled up on my sofa, watching television.
She smiles at me as I hang my coat on the coat rack, “Hey, how was work?”
I smile back at her and sit next to her, “Work was pretty good. Davis and I have been scoping out a cheating husband for the past few weeks and we finally caught him in the act.”
“Wow, so you win your case, right?”
“We just have to provide the evidence to the wife and she’ll make the final call. But she’ll want some alimony, so she’ll definitely use this against him.”
“That’s awesome. You’re first case. Very proud of you.”
She gives me a high five and I return the favor, “Thanks.”
I glance into the hallway toward Raya’s room, “How was she today?”
Melanie sighs, “Still the same. The therapist is concerned.”
I give Melanie a confused look, “Concerned?”
“Duke, it’s been five weeks since Raya’s been back and she hasn’t left that room. I have to be the one to initiate it. I have to take her to bathroom and wash her up, because if not, I don’t think that she’ll get up on her own. I basically force her to eat and dress her, and she’s still not talking. The medications prescribed for her aren’t doing a damn thing. She either sleeps all day or stares at the wall. I don’t hear a sound come out of her…ever. She’s practically comatose.”
“But her nightmares stopped. It’s been three weeks since she’s had one. That has to count for something, doesn’t it? She has to be getting better, right?”
“Duke, I don’t know. The therapist was talking about having her sent to a facility.”
I shake my head, “Nope, no way. I’m not letting her out of here.”
“But don’t you want her to get help?”
Little Things Page 22