I smile at his note, fold it up, and open the drawer, placing the note inside to add to my collection. For the past three weeks, he’s given me a daisy and a note every day. His previous notes have said, You are more important than you realize and Take a chance. I quickly wash up, get dressed, and head downstairs. Duke is sitting on the porch swing, so I head outside to join him.
I stop and quietly lean against the door frame and watch him sip his morning coffee, unaware that I’m spying on him. He looks deep in thought as he sips from his mug. His face looks content and pure, but holds a sense of urgency. He glances at the ocean and watches the waves crash along the rocky shores. As he stares out into the open ocean, he raises his mug to his mouth to take a sip, but instead misses it completely and spills coffee onto his shirt. He looks down at his stained shirt, “Shit. Come on, man, you can’t even sip coffee without making a mess?”
I laugh at his outburst and he raises his head, clearly embarrassed.
“You’ve been spying on me?”
“I couldn’t help it. You looked so peaceful and I didn’t want to bother you.”
He stands up and walks inside the house, “You’ll never be a bother to me.”
I follow him into the kitchen and get a wet towel to wipe the coffee off his shirt. I offer it to him but he shakes his head, “Don’t bother. I’ll just throw it in the wash and grab another one.”
He takes off his shirt, revealing his smooth, muscular chest and I immediately blush, looking away. Oh hell. He heads up the stairs to go change as I try to regulate my breathing and calm down. His half-naked body threw me for loop and shit, was I not prepared. I pour myself a cup of coffee and allow the warmth to heat up my body. God, this tastes good.
I stand in the kitchen, drink my coffee, and look out at the ocean’s waves. They are peaceful but aggressive at the same time. The seagulls dip into the water, grabbing whatever food they can find.
“Hey.”
I jump at the sound of Duke’s voice, “Shit, you scared me.”
He laughs at my fright and I slap him on the arm.
“Now we’re even.”
I stick my tongue out at him and he laughs it off. He sits on the kitchen barstool, “So, we’ve been cooped up in here for the past few weeks. I was thinking that maybe we can head into town and check out the local shops. There’s somewhere I want to take you.”
I finish my coffee and wash out the mug, “Do you think it’ll be safe for us to venture out?”
He nods, “Positive. I spoke to Davis last night and there’s still no sign of him. It’s been over two months, Raya. I doubt he would show his face.”
I can’t shake away this bad feeling, “I know Derrick and he won’t give up that easily, Duke.”
He hops off the barstool and walks up to me, placing his hands on my arms, “We can’t live in hiding for the rest of our lives. If we do, then what’s the point, Raya? It’s not really living, is it?”
I breathe out loud, “I guess you’re right. I just can’t shake this feeling.”
“Do you trust me?”
“Yes.”
“Then let’s go.
We drive the short distance into town and my anticipation gets the best of me. As we turn onto the main road, we pass by a few local restaurants, a jewelry store, a souvenir shop, a hardware store, and a small grocery store. The little town is cute and quaint. Everyone seems to be friendly and made of pure kindness.
Duke looks at me, “Are you ready for your surprise?”
I grin, “Of course!”
He smirks and pulls into a parking spot along the curb before jumping out of the car and rushing to my door to let me out. We begin our stroll down the block and come upon a store where he stops and gestures for me to step inside.
As I walk in, I gasp. My eyes are fixated on rows of shelves filled with books. The store smells like fresh paperbacks right out of the box. Tears fill my eyes as I gaze around the layers of books.
He whispers in my ear, “Do you like it?”
I turn to face him as a tear slips down my cheek, “I love it! Thank you!”
He gestures toward the shelves, “Then pick however many you want.”
I squeal and throw my arms around him, hugging him gratefully as he chuckles under his breath. Releasing him, I make my way into the wonderland of books. It’s been five years since I read a book and oh how I’ve missed it. I head straight for the romance section and find the best-sellers shelf.
I spend at least an hour going through every book, refreshing my memory about my favorite authors and discovering new ones. I read the blurbs of every book that piques my interest and revel in the amazing book covers that catch my eye.
I look toward the front of the store to find Duke sitting in a lounge chair, reading a magazine. I siphon through so many choices as it’s hard to choose. They are all so good.
As I hold five books, Duke sneaks up behind me, “Are those your final decisions?”
I huff, “I don’t know. It’s hard to choose.”
“I told you to pick whichever ones you wanted.”
“But isn’t five books a little too much?”
“For you, it’s never too much. Now let’s go checkout before you put them all back, because I know you will.”
“I wouldn’t have done that…I would have only put three back.”
Minutes later, we checkout and head to the local pub to grab a quick bite to eat. As we wait for our meal, I take out one of my newly purchased paperbacks and admire it.
“So, is she one of your favorite authors?”
“Who? Abbi Glines? Oh yes, I love her. She’s so talented. The first book I read of hers was While It Lasts and I fell in love with her writing. She opens this whole other world that I can get lost in. When I was in high school, I would read so many books, not only for the experience, but to escape from the shit that I went through.”
“So, are you saying that you need an escape now?”
I frown, “No…I mean…yes, well a little bit of both, I guess.”
He smirks, “It’s okay. I understand that you need an outlet.”
I place my hand on his, “Duke, I really appreciate what you’ve done for me. I don’t want you thinking that I don’t care. Because, I do…I do care.”
Raya
The night sky reflects off the water and into my room. The sounds of the waves crash along the shore. The insects buzz as the evening breeze blows along the bushes and trees. His fingers touch my lower thigh and he caresses it gently, running his hand up and down, slowly massaging it. His hand moves to my other leg now, massaging and gently rubbing. My achy muscles rejoice in the relaxation that he provides. The feel of his strong hands on me absolutely radiates through my skin.
He bends to lay a kiss on my thigh and trails upward toward my stomach and chest. I breathe wildly as his trails of kisses ignite sparks. He moves his head closer and begins to lightly suck on my neck. I squirm a little and lean my head in to inhale his musky scent. Instantly, I realize this is not Duke. Dread and fear sink into my gut as my eyes shoot open to stare dead on into the dark eyes that belong to Derrick.
My heart drops and I open my mouth to yell for help, but he smothers me with his hands. I thrash underneath him but he’s too heavy and too strong. I scream and wail, trying to cry out for help, but the noises are muffled. He twists around and pulls out a roll of duct tape, applying a layer over my mouth. Tears rush down my face as I look into the eyes of the monster on top of me.
He grabs hold of my shirt and rips it apart, exposing my breasts. I cry out as his rough hands glide over my left breast while his mouth lands on my right. He licks and sucks on my nipple and I continue to try and kick him off, but it’s no use. His agitation seeps through and he bites my nipple hard. I scream out in pain and try to push him off, but he grabs hold of my wrist and twists it to the point that I feel it literally snap. Excruciating pain vibrates from my wrist and travels through my body
.
He bends his head, stops just above my lips, and kisses me right over the duct tape. “Angel, I’ve missed you,” His hands travel south and I punch him in the face, only to fuel his fire. He growls and takes a small rope, tying my wrists to the bed posts. As he slips off my pajama shorts and rips off my panties, my chest rises and falls rapidly as the panic and horror begins to settle in. He hovers over me and spreads my legs apart but I immediately close them. He slaps me across the face and spreads them open again, positioning himself for entry.
He stares down at me with eyes full of darkness and lust and slams into me., “You know you want this.” The burning pain spreads through me as he rocks inside of me. His moans of pleasure sicken me to the point of nearly vomiting. I feel my insides tear and stretch apart as his roughness and greed take over me. I continue to try to free my hands and kick him off of me.
At that moment, I hear someone whisper my name and my body is shaken wildly. My name is repeated over and over again. The distant voice begs me to open my eyes and wake up. Confusion and fear takes over my mind as I try to focus on my surroundings. I hear the voice again but it’s much clearer now. Duke? The voice grows louder telling me to open my eyes.
My eyes shoot open and all I see is Duke sitting over me, hands grabbing onto my shoulders. I glance around to see if Derrick is still there and reach up to my mouth and feel the duct tape is gone. My chest continues to rise and fall as the panic and fear fills me.
Duke rests his hand on me, “You were dreaming. You’re okay now.”
I blink rapidly, fully waking myself up. “No. He…he was here. I know he was.”
“No one’s here, Raya, just me.”
I begin to sob and my voice cracks, “But…but it felt so real. I could feel everything that he was doing to me.”
Duke comes closer and sits next to me. He reaches over and allows my head to rest on his chest, caressing my hair as I bawl my eyes out for hours. I look around and see the sun begin to rise and instantly jump off my bed. I rush to the dresser and start to lay out my clothes.
“Hey, what are you doing?”
I continue to get dressed, “I can’t stay here anymore.”
Duke rises and walks to me. “What? Why not?”
I look up into his eyes and see only heartache and despair, “I won’t jeopardize your safety. I can’t do this to you. It’s been months since I had a nightmare and now, all of sudden, I get one. Something’s not right, Duke. I can feel it. I won’t have you waste your life just to babysit me. I’m fucked up and I’m not worth it.”
He reaches out for me but I pull away. He closes his eyes, pinching the brim of his nose, and exhales deeply, “So that’s what you think this is? Me just babysitting you? So, all of the flowers, the notes, the places I’ve taken you, all of the things I’ve done for you already…that doesn’t mean anything to you?”
“Of course it does. But I don’t want you feeling obligated to do anything anymore. You deserve better.”
He combs his hands through his hair, “Raya, I’m not here because I have to be or feel obligated to be. I’m here because I choose to be. Don’t you get it? I’ll always choose you.”
He looks down at the ground and breathes out, “Heck, I chased after you for years, even when you told me not to.”
He looks up and stares deep into my eyes, “Don’t you realize how much you mean to me? You’re my best friend. Without you, I’m nothing. I would do anything for you. Don’t push me away just because it gets hard. It’ll get easier, I promise.”
I look away and out into the sunrise. Duke lets out a deep breath and walks toward the door. He stops and turns back to me, “All I want is for you to be happy and safe. But if you feel like you’re trapped here, then that’s the last thing I want you to feel. If you truly want to leave, then go.” And with that, he exits the room and slams the door behind him.
I sit on the bed and think about everything that he’s said. I know he cares about me, I really do. And I care for him, too. But is it enough? I want to leave because I care. But isn’t that why I left the first time? And look where I ended up. Can I make it without him? Can I see life without him in it? I did it before, but was that even living?
As I think about the decision I have to make, thunder roars across the sky. I look outside and notice that it’s getting darker with each minute that passes by. The wind howls through the trees and the tide rolls higher and higher as the waves grow bigger. A storm’s coming.
In an instant, rain starts to pour out of the dark and dreary sky. I let out a deep breath and put my clothes back into the dresser. Music is coming from the living room and I lean against the door to listen. I can’t make out the sounds so I open the door and step into the hallway.
The musical lyrics of Bruno Mars blast throughout the house as he belts out the song, It Will Rain. I walk into the living room to find Duke, leaning by the bay window, staring out into the ocean, lost in thought. He looks beat down, heartbroken, and pissed off all at once. He notices my reflection in the window and spins around to face me.
“Where’s your stuff?”
I look down, “I decided to stay.”
He walks toward me, “Why?”
As he stands inches away from me, staring at me, I tremble a little, “Why?”
He nods, “Why are you staying?”
I hesitate, “Because I want to.”
His brow arches, “Not good enough. Why do you want to stay, Raya? Just be honest with yourself.”
“I…I stay because I care…about you.”
He leans in, “And?”
I look down at the floor but he lifts my chin, “Look at me, Raya.”
I follow his command and stare into his golden brown eyes. The warmth and passion exuding from them melts my heart as it skips several beats.
He whispers, “Why are you staying?”
My lips tremble, “I’m staying because I want to be with you. I’ll stay…for you.”
He smiles at my confession. I see his eyes drift south to my lips and I begin to tremble. My nerves get the best of me as I bite on my bottom lip.
Duke turns his head to my right, blows out a deep breath, and whispers, “Okay.”
He turns to look at me, steps closer, cups my face in his hands, and pushes his lips onto mine. A rush of heat and electricity flows into my body as our lips touch. I feel the butterflies flutter around in my stomach. A sense of perfection and belonging makes its way into my heart as our lips dance. His tender lips filled with compassion and yearning kiss mine eagerly.
Our lips part and he sneaks his tongue inside my mouth, brushing along the tip of mine. I gasp and hear him moan with desire. He lets go of my face and wraps his arms around me, crushing me into his body. I move my hands up his back and around his neck, admiring his strong, husky build. We stand there in the living room, kissing for what feels like hours. My entire body is filled with excitement, affection, and spellbinding desire. The electric current continues to flow through me from my head all the way down to my toes. My heart beats a hundred miles per hour as his hands run up and down my lower back.
He pulls apart and we breathe rapidly, trying to get our emotions in check. Duke smiles wide with adoration and love. As we stand there staring at each other, bewildered by that mind-blowing kiss, we hear a new song start to play. As Falling for You by The 1975 begins, Duke grabs hold of my waist and pulls me into him. We step side to side as we slow dance to the rhythm of the song. I stare into his eyes and smile as we sway in the living room. The thundering storm still roars outside but we pay it no mind. All I focus on is the man before me who has charmed his way into my heart and captivated my soul.
For the rest of the morning, we dance along to anything and everything, completely absorbed in one another. Once the storm passes by, we head out to grab a few things for the house. As we drive into town, I realize that this is what I want. Duke was right and he knows he was right. He holds my hand as we walk t
o the store and my heart skips a beat. I feel like skipping down the sidewalk, I’m so giddy. I am completely head over heels for him and have been since the moment I met him.
Duke
I step into her room and tip toe to her bed as she sleeps. She snores a little and it’s adorable. Her entire body takes up the whole bed—arms and legs completely stretched throughout and half of the comforter is on the floor. I chuckle quietly and make my way to the nightstand. I place a small glass vase with a pink daisy on the table and then take out a small piece of paper and scribble: If you want your dreams to come true, then wake up and live your dream.
I race to the hallway to grab her songbook and the new guitar that I bought for her and place by the nightstand it in her room. I watch her sleep for a few minutes and lightly brush my fingers along her cheek. She shudders at my touch and my heart jumps. I see the light from the sunrise start to lighten the room, so I quickly run out, shutting the door behind me.
I head into the kitchen to start breakfast and make a pot of coffee. I get out the Belgian waffle maker and the ingredients and start working up the batter. Once the batter is mixed and nicely thickened, I pour the first layer into the maker, shut the lid, and let it cook. Two minutes later, I place the fresh, steamy waffle onto a plate and dab a little powdered sugar on top.
As I start to prepare the next waffle, I hear a squeal and an “Oh my God!” come from Raya’s room. I chuckle and smile at her reaction to my gifts and pour the batter into the waffle maker. Raya comes rushing out of the room, beaming with joy, and jumps into my arms. She squeezes me tight and pummels kisses all over my lips and face.
“Thank you…thank you! I can’t believe you did this! How did you get my old songbook?”
I laugh and continue making the waffle, “I actually ran into the new owners of your home a while back and they told me they found a box of your belongings, so they gave it to me. I’ve had it ever since and I asked Rob the other day to drop off your songs so you wouldn’t have to start from scratch.”
“Wait…a box? That means you have my father’s stuff, too?”
Little Things Page 25