by Marie Force
Sam gripped his arm. “I can’t be pregnant, Harry. I just can’t.”
Laughing, he eased her into a chair and squatted down in front of her. “Of course you can.”
Sam shook her head. “I can’t go through that again. I can’t lose another one.” She’d rather stare down the barrel of a loaded shotgun than go through that hell again.
“I’ll tell you what—I’m off tomorrow, so come into the office on Monday. We’ll do a quick test and see what’s what, okay?”
“It’s not okay.” No other subject had the ability to render her so powerless against the overwhelming array of emotions.
He reached for her hands and held on tight. “It will be. I promise. If you are…” He seemed to know better than to use the “p” word just then. “I have a friend who’s an amazing OB/GYN who I’ll refer you to.” Flashing a sheepish grin, he added, “Well, to be honest, I’ve been seeing her for a while now, but I haven’t told the guys yet. Keep my secret?”
“If you keep mine. Until we know for sure…Nick has had enough with his mother and everything.”
“My lips are sealed. Let me see your phone.”
“What the hell for?”
“Hand it over.”
Confused, she drew it out of her pocket, put it into his outstretched hand and watched him program his number into her address book. “If anything comes up, anything at all, call me. Night or day.”
“That’s nice of you. Thanks.”
He stood and helped her up, giving her a quick hug and a kiss on the cheek. “Take good care of my buddy,” he said, looking over at Nick.
“Always.”
“And try not to worry, Sam. Everything will be okay.”
“I hope you’re right.”
He flashed that charming dimpled smile that made him so adorable. “I was right about the soda, wasn’t I?”
“Oh brother. Am I ever going to hear the end of that?”
“Not in this lifetime. Sleep tight.”
After she showed Harry out, she turned to study her fiancé. The idea of him being in so much pain that he’d felt the need to drink excessively was shocking to her. The Nick she knew and loved was always in control. Except, it seemed, when his loser mother turned his world upside down. She couldn’t add to that right now by sharing the possibility that she might be pregnant—might being the operative word. Resting her back against the closed front door, Sam reached for her phone to call Freddie.
“What’s up, boss?”
“Something’s come up, and I can’t be there tonight. Can you all handle it on your own? You know the drill—arrest the girl for solicitation and prostitution. Offer her a deal if she’ll give up what she knows about the operation. Cue Malone in too.” She should’ve done that herself but hadn’t gotten to it.
“We can handle it. I just heard from Archie that the trace came up empty. The signals were all blocked.”
“Son of a bitch. Another dead end.”
“The text to your phone came from a throwaway, as we suspected. We’re trying to track it down.”
“We can’t catch a break on this one.”
“I know. Is everything okay? Did you find Nick?”
“I found him, but I can’t leave him right now.” She had no doubt that he’d never leave her in the same condition. Nothing, not even her all-consuming job, was more important to her than he was. If ever there’d been a time to prove that, it was now. “I’ll tell you about it tomorrow. Call me after it goes down?”
“You got it.”
“Go in with backup, and be careful.”
“We will.”
Sam closed the phone, stashed it in her pocket, sent the two officers who were tailing her home for the evening and went to sit with Nick.
“What time is it?” Nick mumbled.
Sam put aside her laptop and turned to him. “Almost nine.”
“How’d I get here?”
“You don’t remember? Harry brought you home.”
“Oh, yeah. Right.” He ran his hand over his face and winced when he came into contact with the bruise under his eye. “Andy’s elbow. Did you know he’s been helping Gonzo with the baby?”
“I’d heard that.”
“Sorry you had to see me like this. Won’t happen again.”
Sam reached out to caress his face. “Don’t apologize. You needed to blow off some steam, and I’m glad your friends were there to help you do it.”
“I blew off some steam on TV earlier too.”
“So I heard.”
“Are you pissed?”
She shook her head. “I’ve never had anyone to defend me against Peter. I used to have to deal with him and his games all on my own. So it’s rather nice to have someone in my corner.”
He reached for the hand on his face and brought it to his lips. “I’ll always be in your corner, babe. You don’t have to deal with anything alone anymore.”
“Neither do you.” She rested her head on his shoulder.
“Seeing her screws me up. Always has. You’d think after all these years I’d be better equipped to deal with it, but I never have gotten the hang of it.”
“I wish there was something I could do for you.”
“You’re doing it. Just by being here. I want to take a shower. I must smell like the inside of a whiskey bottle.”
“I could use one too. Come on, I’ll go with you.”
They walked up the stairs together. In the bathroom, she helped him out of his clothes and into the shower before she followed him. He reached for her, brought her in tight against him and held her while the warm water beat down on them.
“This goes a long way toward fixing what ails me,” he said, sighing with what sounded like contentment.
“Good.” Sam closed her eyes and held on to him, thankful that she’d chosen to stay home with him rather than go back to work. After a while, she reached for his bottle of shampoo and washed his hair. When she was done, he returned the favor.
He filled his hands with liquid soap and ran them reverently over her.
Sam watched him, wondering what he was thinking.
“I gave her twenty-five thousand,” he said.
“Harry told me.”
He looked at her, his beautiful eyes filled with pain. “Are you horrified?”
Sam combed the wet hair off his forehead. “Of course not. You did what you felt you needed to.”
“She’ll probably be back for more when that’s gone.”
“Probably.” Sam turned off the water and reached for their towels. “But we’ll be ready for her next time.”
A hint of a smile graced his face. “Will we?”
“Next time,” she said, kissing him, “she’ll deal with me.”
He chuckled. “I almost feel sorry for her.”
Sam secured a towel around his waist and then wrapped another around herself. “Don’t bother feeling sorry for her. She isn’t worth your time. Neither is Peter, for that matter.”
“That’s different.”
“It’s really not, Nick. We can’t give these people power over us. The minute we do, they win.”
“So I’m not supposed to be concerned about what he might do to you once he’s out of jail?”
“We’ll take every possible precaution, but there’s no need for us to give him the satisfaction of knowing that we care in the least about him.”
“If that’s how you feel, you have to be pissed about what I did today.”
“I’m concerned about political fallout for you, but I’m not mad at you for doing it. From now on, though, how about we deny him the satisfaction?”
“Won’t that infuriate him?”
“He’s already infuriated. Nothing we do or don’t do will change that. We don’t care, remember?”
“I’ll care if he comes at my wife. I’ll definitely care about that.”
Sam rested her hands on his chest. “She’s very capable of taking care of herself. You need to keep that in mind.”
> He put his arms around her. “As capable as she is, even she didn’t think he’d strap bombs to our cars.”
“She knows better now. She’ll be looking for the first chance to nail his ass—but she’ll never let him know that.”
“You’re sure this is the best way to handle it?”
“Making a lot of noise hasn’t gotten us anywhere, has it? They’re still going to let him out.”
“So we just say nothing and let it happen?”
“We don’t have any choice. How about we let our happiness be our revenge? He wants what he can never have again. Sooner or later, he’ll figure that out.”
“I’m still worried about him trying to hurt you.”
“And I’m worried about him trying to hurt you. In his mind, you’re the only thing standing in the way of what he wants. I’m sure he’s forgotten all about the year we were divorced before you and I got back together. To him, you’re the root of all evil, so you’ll need to be careful too.”
“Hopefully, his stint in jail will have scared him straight and he’ll leave us alone.”
“Hopefully.”
“You don’t think so, though, do you?”
“Who knows? I guess we’ll find out soon enough.” She glanced up at him. “Can we please change the subject?”
“Absolutely.”
Following him into the bedroom, Sam told him about the call from Shelby and the appointment for the following evening. “You’ll have to make yourself scarce so you don’t see the dress.”
“I never pictured you as the superstitious type,” he said.
“I’m not usually. But I’ve got one failed marriage behind me. I’m not inviting any bad mojo into this one.”
He sat on the bed and reached out a hand to her. “This one won’t be anything like the first one.”
Taking his hand, Sam sat next to him. “No, it won’t, but you’re still not seeing the dress until March 26.” She leaned over to kiss him. “Nice try, though.”
Hooking an arm around her, he anchored her for another kiss. “Did you get to eat?”
“Wasn’t hungry. You?”
“I had some pizza with the guys.” He nuzzled her neck, nibbled on her earlobe and tugged on her towel. “Wanna go to bed?”
“In a little bit. I’m waiting to hear from Freddie. We’ve got something going down tonight.”
Nick raised his head to meet her eyes. “Shouldn’t you be there?”
She shrugged. “I let them deal with it.”
“Samantha…”
“What? It’s no big deal. I chose to stay here with you.”
His face softened, and he stole another kiss. “Thank you.”
“It’s nothing you wouldn’t have done for me.”
Hugging her, he said, “I love you. I don’t think I’ve told you that today.”
“Don’t start slacking off before we’re even married,” she said with a teasing grin.
“No chance of that,” he said, bringing his lips down on hers for a kiss that sucked every other thought right out of her head.
Hearing that she had stayed home to take care of him set off a powerful swell of emotion inside Nick. No one had ever loved him the way she did, and her love went a long way toward soothing the hurt he’d carried with him for as long as he could remember.
He wished he had the words to tell her what she meant to him. If he lived forever, he’d probably never find the perfect words.
Cupping her breast, he teased her nipple with his tongue and teeth.
Sam gasped and pushed at him.
“What?” he asked, surprised. She usually loved that.
“Nothing,” she said, but the almost panicked look in her eyes caught his immediate attention.
“What, honey? What’s the matter?” He watched, shocked as she blinked back tears. There was only one issue that could be guaranteed to bring his fearless, gutsy cop to tears every time. “Samantha?”
She looked up at him with those eyes that saw right through him. “I can’t be,” she said as tears rolled down her cheeks. “I just can’t.”
“Sweetheart, you’re scaring me. What’re you talking about?”
She crossed her arms over her breasts. “The only time they’re that sensitive…”
The realization hit him all at once, and all the air whooshed from his lungs. “Sam…”
“I don’t know! Don’t look at me like that! They told me I can’t…” She broke down into tears and hiccuping sobs. “They said I couldn’t have any more. They told me that. I believed them!”
Overwhelmed with joy and excitement and trepidation, Nick put his arms around her. “How long have you known?” he asked after several quiet minutes.
“I don’t know. Not for sure. I’ve just noticed some…signs. And just now, when you did that…”
“This?” He kissed his way from her neck to her breast and twirled his tongue around her nipple before sucking hard on it.
She cried out, her fingers gripping his hair. “Nick…”
“Hmmm?”
“I can’t do it. I can’t.”
“Oh, honey, sure you can. I have no doubt.” He kissed a path from oversensitive breasts to belly. Just the possibility that she could be carrying his child had him blinking back his own tears.
“I can’t be terrified for nine months. How will I work or do anything but be afraid?”
He rested his face on her belly and wrapped his arms around her. Looking up at her, he said, “You’ll just do what you always do and let the rest take care of itself.”
“What if I am…and then…what if…”
“If the worst happens, we’ll deal with it together and we’ll try again. We’ll never stop trying until we get it right.”
“I’m so scared. I’ve noticed a few signs, but I’ve been afraid to even consider the possibility. The other times, my breasts…They were so sensitive. That’s the only time they’ve ever been like that. It’s almost like confirmation…”
He kissed his way back up her body, from her belly to her lips. “We need to get you in to see Harry.”
“Monday.” Raising her hands to his face, she brought him down for a soft, sweet kiss that shattered his remaining defenses. She owned him. There was nothing he wouldn’t do for her, nothing he wouldn’t give her, nothing he wouldn’t do to protect her, even if she didn’t want his protection. And now, maybe, a baby too…
“Samantha,” he whispered against her lips as he entered her, “I love you so much.”
“Mmm, me too.” She wrapped her arms and legs around him, holding him tight against her, and gazed up at him with eyes still shiny with tears but also full of love—for him.
Before she returned to his life, he’d had no idea what he’d been missing. Now she was so much a part of him that he couldn’t imagine a life without her at the center of it. Knowing what she liked, he wanted to pick up the pace, but held back, afraid to do anything to hurt her or the baby.
“Nick…
“What, babe?”
“Faster.”
“We have to be careful, just in case.”
“It’s okay.” She slid her hands down his back. “Really.”
Gripping her hips to hold her still, he pumped into her, giving her what she wanted. His heart raced from exertion and emotion until he thought it would burst from his chest.
As Sam cried out, he felt her nails score his back, which sent him surging into her one last time in a release that seemed ripped from his very soul. Afterward, he fought to catch his breath as her hands soothed his back.
“I can’t believe I scratched you,” she said, laughing.
He rested carefully on top of her, his lips pressed to her neck. “I don’t care.”
“Good thing you’re required to wear a shirt to work.”
“I’ve given them enough to talk about for a while.”
Her fingers combed through his hair, a loving gesture of hers that never failed to stir him. She had given him exactly what he’d nee
ded most, and he hadn’t known he needed it. She just knew.
“Will you do something for me?” she asked.
“Anything. Name it.”
“I have to give this case my full attention until we close it. Can we not talk about the other thing until after that? If I let myself get all nutty about it, I won’t be able to focus on anything else. I’ve become an expert at compartmentalizing this stuff so I can function at work.”
“Of course. I understand.”
She rested her head on his chest and released a deep, contented sigh. “You always do.”
He tightened his hold on her and kissed her forehead. “I try.”
Bon Jovi interrupted the peaceful moment when “Livin’ on a Prayer” sounded through the room.
“I need to get that,” she said. “It’s probably Freddie.”
Nick rolled to his side and reached for her phone on the bedside table, handing it to her.
As she took the call, she linked her fingers with his, letting him know she was still right there with him.
Touched by the gesture, he shifted to his side so he could see her.
“How’d it go?” she asked.
Nick watched her process what Freddie was telling her.
“What?” she said, laughing. “They asked for your preferences. I figured you’d love a dominatrix. Was I wrong?”
Nick chuckled, imagining Freddie’s indignation.
“She wouldn’t give you anything on the organization?” Sam paused, listening. “We’ll let her cool her heels in jail for the night since we’ve still got her on solicitation and prostitution. Maybe she’ll be more forthcoming in the morning. Good work, thanks.”
“Do I even want to know?” Nick asked when she’d ended the call.
“Have you ever heard any references to a high-level call girl ring in the city? We’re talking highest level.”
“I’ve heard rumors over the years, but nothing concrete.”
“What kind of rumors?”
“Just that it exists but no specifics.”
She shot him a coy look. “Were you ever tempted to dial up a girl?”
He cringed. “No.”
Sam laughed at his indignation. “That’s right—you didn’t have to. According to your buddy Harry, you were the ultimate chick magnet.”