by Dinah Harper
She glanced at Jesse who paced beside her. He looked unruffled, relaxed, and unaffected by his surroundings. How could he be so calm when his mom had only weeks to live? Wasn’t he terrified? Dreading the end? If he felt anything, it didn’t show on the surface. Sensing her regard, he turned his head and speared her with those eyes that haunted her dreams. She looked away and noticed he was attracting quite a bit of attention. That was no surprise. Women had been throwing themselves at him for as long as she had known him. He never lacked female attention, so why had he fixated on her? Why risk so much to fuck his step-sister? Was it because it was taboo? Because she didn’t want him? Maybe because she was convenient and he enjoyed manipulating and controlling her? Whatever his reasons, she would never know and wasn’t about to ask him why he was such a sick bastard.
The door to Lynne’s room was open, so she walked in with Jesse following in her wake. Dad sat beside the bed with Lynne’s hand pressed against his mouth as they talked. Her heart clenched when he turned his head, revealing eyes that were full of tears. He looked down to compose himself as Jesse rounded the bed and bent to greet his mother.
“Jesse, you’re home!” Lynne cried.
She went to her father’s side. “Dad?”
“I’m good,” he said with a pained smile.
He clearly wasn’t, but she didn’t want to embarrass him further so she switched her attention to the mother and son reunion taking place in front of her. Lynne seemed even smaller as Jesse crouched over her. He reached out and cupped his mother’s face. Something twisted in her stomach as they smiled at one another. Lynne stared at Jesse with luminous eyes. It was clear she adored her son and it wasn’t one-sided. Jesse pressed his forehead against his mother’s and whispered to her as tears trickled down her cheek.
“I’m so happy you’re here,” Lynne said.
“Nowhere else I’d rather be,” Jesse murmured.
She turned away and pressed a hand against her mouth as her stomach rocked with nausea. How could he be the monster who forced himself on her and the loving, doting son thirty minutes later? He was doing it again—making her doubt her sanity by transitioning seamlessly between his multiple personalities.
“What are these marks on your cheek?” Lynne asked.
She stopped breathing.
“I was helping a woman get her luggage from the overhead bin and a buckle scratched my face,” Jesse answered.
She swiped at the cold sweat on her brow. He said it so easily, so effortlessly. She would have believed him if she hadn’t put the scratches there herself. How did he lie so effortlessly?
“I’m so glad you’re here, son,” Dad said.
She heard the manly clap on the back they gave each other and then Jesse’s, “It’s good to be home.”
Her father loved Jesse. He had no reason not to. Jesse fulfilled the role of son she hadn’t been able to. Jesse was well-liked by their parents and everyone in the community. To everyone else he was well-mannered, courteous, and a hard worker. No one would dream that there was something wrong with him. It was only when they were alone that he morphed into a completely different person.
She listened, dumbfounded, as Jesse talked to her father about fishing. He was so composed, so damn smooth, she wanted to pull her hair out. She didn’t know what to say or how to act. He made her feel isolated, lonely, bereft. The only way she knew how to cope was to ignore Jesse and stuff her emotions into the dark corners until she was alone. She had been in Austin for only a few hours and was on the brink of a breakdown.
“Vi.”
She turned to find Lynne holding out her hand. She ignored the men and went to her mother’s side. Lynne wore a pretty silk scarf wrapped around her bald head. She had thinned and was alarmingly pale, but her smile never wavered. Lynne grasped her hand in a surprisingly firm grip.
“I’m so happy to see you two together,” Lynne gushed. “You had time to talk? Settle your differences?”
Out of the corner of her eye, she could see Dad and Jesse on the other side of the bed. They were talking, but Jesse was turned toward her and she could feel his gaze on her. He was listening. Did he think she would tell the truth? There was always a tiny voice in the back of her mind that urged her to spill, but she couldn’t and he knew it. Lynne was waiting for her to answer. She looked so goddamn hopeful that she didn’t have the heart to disappoint her. She nodded because she couldn’t speak.
“I’m so glad,” Lynne said and kissed the back of her hand. “You two used to be so close. Once Dad and I are gone, you’re all each other has.”
“Stop talking like that. I can’t…” She shook her head as her throat closed up.
“I’m sorry I kept this from you. I know you’ve had your own struggles in Utah. I didn’t want to add to that.”
“But…” Her eyes filled with tears. “It’s your life. I wish I’d known. I could have been here for both of you.”
Lynne cupped her cheek with an ice-cold hand. “My sweet girl. This isn’t something you should be around. It’s been a long journey of tests, bad news, and dashed hopes. You have your whole life ahead of you. If I told you, you would be as tired as your father is. This way, you’re focused on the here and now. We know the verdict and we have time. That’s all that matters.”
She brushed away a tear. “What happens now?”
“I’m coming home tomorrow. I’m not getting further treatment.”
She stiffened. “You’re refusing treatment?”
“There’s nothing more they can do and I want to be home.”
“But what if—”
“It’s all set, Vi.”
She shook her head. “I can’t believe this is happening. This can’t be!”
“It is.” Lynne’s smile stretched even wider as a tear slid down her cheek. “We’ve done everything possible, but it wasn’t good enough. My time’s up, but I have some requests before I kick the bucket.”
“Mom!”
Lynne slumped against the pillows and laughed. She didn’t know how to handle Lynne’s cavalier attitude about her mortality. She had never found anything less humorous in her life. When Lynne saw her expression, she sobered.
“I’m sorry, honey. I know this is hitting you all at once, but dying is a part of life. We’re not promised tomorrow. At least you know I’m about to die instead of getting a phone call from Dad saying I was killed in a car accident or something.”
True, but still. “I’m… I can’t think right now.”
“Both of you must be exhausted. You should get some rest and Dad and I will be home tomorrow.”
Alarm bells went off in her mind. She looked across the bed at Dad. “You aren’t coming home?”
“No, I’m spending the night with Mom.”
Her gaze flicked to Jesse. “Maybe I should stay too.”
“Absolutely not,” Lynne said firmly. “Staying in hospitals isn’t fun. You two go out to dinner. Isaac, give them some money.”
Dad reached into his pocket, but Jesse shook his head.
“We’re good. I have money.”
“So, do I,” she said, even though she’d be charging any meal on a credit card.
Lynne waved her hands. “Go eat out. Talk and get a good night’s rest and we’ll be home bright and early and then we can talk about my bucket list.”
“But I—”
“Vi.”
Dad pulled her against him. She braced her hands on his chest as he leaned down and whispered in her ear, “She’s holding it together for you two, but she needs to rest. We’ll be home tomorrow, okay?”
When she nodded, he kissed her temple.
“I’m glad you’re home, kiddo.”
She kissed Lynne’s cheek and retreated to the door as Jesse said his goodbyes as well. Once she was in the hallway, she leaned against the wall and closed her eyes. A mixture of dread, sorrow, and worry sloshed around inside of her.
“You good?”
She opened her eyes as Jesse reached for her. She
straightened and slapped his hand away. “No.”
He wasn’t allowed to be a monster one moment and her brother the next. She stalked away with her arms wrapped around herself. The sun began its descent as they walked through the parking lot. Neither of them said a word as they got in the car. Once more, she leaned against the window and prayed she would wake from this nightmare.
“Are you hungry?” he asked.
“No.” There was no way she could eat after a day like today.
When he pulled out of the lot she said, “We should stop at the store.”
“For what?”
“Groceries. I doubt they have any.”
“I’m beat. We can go tomorrow.”
She wanted to argue, but she didn’t have the energy. Not a word was said between them during the mercifully short drive back to the house. When he pulled up the driveway she said, “You don’t have to park. I’m going to run to the store.”
“We’ll go in the morning,” he said as he pulled into the garage.
“I want to do it now.” She needed the morning after pill.
“Tomorrow,” he said as he shut off the engine and pocketed the keys.
“What the hell, Jesse? I don’t need you to come with me,” she said as he got out of the car.
“You’re dead on your ass. Get in the house.”
“Don’t tell me—” she began, but stopped abruptly when she saw his body language change. She snapped her mouth shut and eyed him through the windshield. Her finger hovered over the lock button, but it would do no good. He had the damn keys.
“Get out of the car, Vi.”
Her mind raced as she tried to think of her options, but she didn’t have any. She shoved the door open, slammed it, and marched up to him.
“Now what?” she challenged, ready to spit in his face and knee him in the balls if he touched her.
His mouth quirked. “You’ve changed.”
She didn’t know how to react. He was more mellow than he’d been when she picked him up from the airport. Was it because they fucked or had seeing Lynne put a damper on his libido? Either way, he wasn’t Jesse the psycho, he was Jesse the nice guy, but she didn’t trust him. It would only take a second for him to switch into someone else.
“You haven’t changed,” she retorted.
He said nothing. He just stared at her. She couldn’t decipher what was going on behind those blue eyes and was too fucking tired to try. When she walked past him, his hand brushed over her hair. She recoiled and raced to her room. She locked the bedroom and bathroom doors and listened. She couldn’t hear him, which meant he stayed in the main living area. Hopefully he would watch TV, leave her the hell alone, and pass out on the couch.
She spent her time barricading the entrances into the room. She put her desk chair under the knob in the bathroom and pushed her drawers in front of the bedroom door before she changed into pajama shorts and a college tee. She was thirsty but not about to risk leaving her haven for water. Drinking from the sink would have to do. She washed her face before she climbed in bed and collapsed on the plethora of pillows. She took a deep breath. Someone had washed her sheets. They smelled fresh.
She pulled out her phone and dialed Reese’s number. “Hey.”
“Hey.” Reese’s voice was soft and subdued. “I’m so sorry about your mom.”
She put on a brave smile even though no one was there to see it. “Me too.”
“Are you okay?”
She blinked rapidly to stop the tears. “No.”
“I’m so sorry, Vi. Is there anything I can do?”
“No.”
“Me and Meg were talking,” Reese said slowly. “We sprung this move on you out of the blue and now this thing with your mom… Meg and I can stay longer to give you time to figure everything out so you don’t have to worry about moving on top of everything else. We know money’s tight so we’ll pay your share of the rent this month. Don’t worry about it.”
Her heart swelled. “You guys are the best, but you don’t have to do that. I’m going to move home.”
Reese’s voice changed. “Home? To Texas?”
“Yes.”
“Do you want to or you feel you have to because of your mom?”
“I was thinking about it before I found out Mom has cancer and now that I know, I want to be here.” She sighed. “I dropped out of college years ago and haven’t been able to find my feet. I don’t want to go into more debt and I should be here after…” After Lynne was gone. She swallowed hard.
“How soon are you going to move?”
She rubbed the space between her brows as she tried to think. “I’ll be back within a couple days. Right now, she’s stable so I want to do this before she declines even more.” Her chest ached. “And I know you guys are trying to move out and everything.”
“Meg and I can get your stuff sorted.”
“That would be awesome. Thank you.”
“Of course.”
“I’ll keep you posted.”
“Let us know if we can do anything for you.”
“Thanks. You guys are the best.”
“We love you, Vi.”
“Love you too. I’ll be in touch.”
“Okay. Bye.”
She hung up and stared at the ceiling as tears leaked out of the corner of her eyes. When her breath hitched, she flipped onto her stomach and wrapped her arms around a pillow. Her hands fisted as she fought for control, but in the end, she couldn’t hold back the tide. She wasn’t sure if she was sobbing for what she had lost in the SUV today or the impending death of the only mother she’d ever known.
A part of her mind registered the smell of sausage, but she ignored it as she focused on her inner storm. When it passed and her head felt as if it was going to explode, the door knob rattled.
“Vi?”
She stopped breathing.
The knob jiggled as Jesse turned it again. “I made dinner.”
As if she was going to eat anything he made for her. “I’m good,” she called in a stuffy voice.
“You should eat.”
She scowled. Now he was Jesse the nursemaid. He could kiss her ass. “I’m going to sleep.”
“I’ll save some for you.”
Whatever. She exchanged the damp pillow for a dry one and blew her nose as she hugged a blush colored pillow to her chest and curled into a ball. She’d been so sure she could handle Jesse. She thought she had the balls to stop him from taking advantage and that she could laugh in his face. She wasn’t laughing now. He had taken her over so easily. The way he talked to Dad and Lynne, as if nothing was out of the ordinary, sent a chill down her spine. How did he do that? How could he act as if nothing happened? Why was she curled in a ball in her bedroom while he was eating and probably watching sports on TV? Was there something wrong with her? Why couldn’t she shrug off everything like him? Why couldn’t she be cool and detached? She hated that he could dissolve her into a blubbering mess. She wasn’t a teenager anymore, but she felt like one. She hadn’t changed one damn bit.
Mason, her ex-boyfriend, was making love to her. He brushed kisses over her face as he did something with his hips that made her arch her back. Whoever he had been with since they broke up had taught him amazing things. He was showing more technique and finesse than he had when they were together.
Something about that niggled at the back of her mind, but she couldn’t focus, not when he was working her just right. Her body hummed as zips of pleasure nipped at her heels. Yes. She rarely got off during vaginal sex. She always had to take care of herself later, but Mason was nailing it tonight. He was hitting all the right points while biting her breasts and sucking on her neck. Damn. He upped his game big time. He tilted her hips, going even deeper and she moaned.
“You forgot the window.”
It took a moment for the words to register. Shouldn’t he be whispering hot, dirty shit in her ear? What the hell did ‘You forgot the window’ mean? Whoever Mason learned these moves from need
ed to give him more lessons. Physically, he was killing it, but the dirty talk needed work.
“You were made for me.”
Something wasn’t right. Mason’s voice wasn’t that deep and on second thought, the hands moving over her were rough, calloused. Mason worked at a movie theater. He didn’t have the hands of a construction worker.
“That’s my good girl.”
Good girl. Her eyes flew open. It took several seconds for her mind to clear and her vision to adjust to the light. It wasn’t Mason fucking her slow and sweet. It was Jesse riding her as if he had every right to. There was a bedside lamp on and he was as naked as she was.
She braced her hands on his shoulders. “Stop!”
“I told you to spread and even in sleep, you listened to me. You know my voice, my touch. You know me, Vi.”
“I don’t know you!”
“Yet your body clutches at mine.” He planted himself deep, making her squirm as he pulsed inside her. “God, you’re fucking soaked for me. You think locked doors can keep you from me?”
“You’re a monster,” she whispered.
He switched his rhythm from fucking to hip rolling. His fingers came into play and she stiffened. Rough she could handle. Gentleness hurt her in places she couldn’t describe. She clawed his back, provoking him so he would go back to the cruel asshole he’d been earlier today. He didn’t take the bait. He covered her face with light, teasing kisses that made her lash out. She scored his neck before he pinned her wrist to the mattress.
“Didn’t you miss me even a little?” he breathed in her ear.
“No!”
“I missed you. I missed this.”
His low, earthy groan made her wetter. Fucking hell! He tucked his face beside hers as he lifted her knees so he could go deeper.
“I learned early on in life that you have to take what you want.”
She gripped his hair and yanked savagely. “You had no right!”
How many times had her mind replayed a scenario like this? Her pinned to the bed with Jesse over her and her childhood bedroom as the backdrop? But this time he was stronger, she was angrier, and there was no one here to save her.