“Nee.” Gabriel dropped his hand. “The nurse said he was up a little while ago.”
“Why didn’t they wake me?” she said, dismayed.
“He wasn’t conscious for very long. Besides, they knew you needed the rest. I’m glad they let you sleep.”
She rose from her chair and smoothed her white apron. The fabric was wrinkled, as was her light-green dress. The rest of her was probably a mess too. “What time is it?”
“Almost five a.m. There’s a visitors’ waiting room down the hall. Daed is asleep on the couch in there. I wanted to check and see how you were doing. And Levi.”
Moriah looked down at her husband as he lay on the hospital bed. Wires, endless wires were attached to his body, which in turn were connected to blinking, illuminated machines and dangling bags of fluid and blood. He lay flat on his back, a white sheet draped over his lower body. She touched her mouth with her fingertips, trying to stem the tirade of sorrow and pity that coursed through her. His face was almost unrecognizable from the swelling around his eyes and mouth. A bandage encircled his head, covering his brow. The nurses had assured her that he wasn’t in pain; the medication pump ensured that. But she didn’t see how.
No one had any concrete details about the accident, but she didn’t really care right now. Her complete focus was on being there for her husband. If she had failed him before, she refused to fail him now, especially when he needed her so much.
“Are you hungry?” Gabriel asked. “We can go downstairs and get some breakfast.”
“I don’t want to leave him.”
“Moriah, he couldn’t be in better hands. Nothing will happen to him.” He moved to stand alongside her. “You’ve been in here all night. You need to take a break.”
She watched Levi for a moment, not moving until she detected the slight rise and fall of his chest. Gabriel was right, of course. The nurses and doctors wouldn’t let anything happen to Levi. Turning, she nodded. “Let me freshen up first.”
“I’ll meet you in the waiting room.” Gabriel took one more look at his brother, then left.
Levi’s arms lay limply against his sides. She slipped her hand in his and squeezed. “I’ll be right back,” she whispered, then reluctantly let go. Exiting his small room, she made her way to the restroom, which was just around the corner. Once she was inside the single washroom, she closed the door, then locked it.
Facing the mirror, she sighed at her reflection. Her kapp was askew, and there were dark circles under eyes. The inside of her mouth felt pasty, and her shoulders ached. Reaching up, she pulled the bobby pins from her kapp and placed it on the side of the sink. She smoothed her hair the best she could, then replaced her kapp, tucking the ribbons inside the front bodice of her dress. After splashing her cheeks with cold water, she felt a little better, and more fully awake.
After breakfast she would call her mother and let her know how Levi was faring. Her father had a cell phone in the woodshop, which he used only for business purposes. However, Moriah doubted he would mind if she called. She’d also see if maybe Elisabeth or one of her brothers could hire a taxi and bring her a fresh change of clothes. With Ruth being sick, she didn’t want her mother to have to make the trip, and she had no idea how long she would be at the hospital with Levi. Not that the time mattered to her. She wasn’t leaving him until he was able to come home. Everything that had happened between them—his rejection of her and his faith—none of that mattered now. Not only had she already forgiven him, she would forget. They had a second chance now, a new opportunity to work on their marriage, and soon a new baby to love and cherish. Glancing at the mirror one last time, she smiled. For the first time in what seemed like forever, she had something to look forward to.
Gabe rocked back and forth on his heels and slipped his hands in his pockets as he waited for Moriah. He considered waking his father, then decided against it. Neither of them had slept much in the waiting room. It wouldn’t hurt to let his daed get more rest. He’d bring him a muffin and coffee from the cafeteria when they came back.
The hallway was empty, save for the one stocky nurse wearing bright-pink pants and a multicolored top who passed by. He thought about how exhausted Moriah had looked when he had awakened her, and naturally, he was concerned. But he knew she was relieved that Levi would be okay; they were all happy about that.
But what did Moriah think would happen after his brother healed? Gabe wondered if he would come back to Middlefield. His girlfriend, Taylor, hadn’t shown up to ask about him. Granted she had been in the accident, but from the emergency room receptionist’s account, she was going to be okay. If she loved him, wouldn’t she be there for him? Like Moriah was now?
He sighed and leaned against the wall. If anything this should show Levi where his responsibility, and his life, truly was. In Middlefield, with the Amish, with his family. Gabe believed his brother and Moriah could work things out, especially knowing Moriah’s forgiving and tender nature. Hopefully his brother wouldn’t be so stupid this time.
The outer doors to the intensive care unit opened, and Moriah stepped out. Gabe’s breath hitched, as it always did when he saw her. She had straightened up her kapp, and her cheeks held a rosy glow, one he hadn’t seen since before Levi left. Heavens, she was beautiful, even after all she’d been through.
He suddenly had second thoughts about not asking his daed to join them. Being alone with Moriah, even in a public place, wasn’t a great idea right now.
But he restrained his reaction and the feelings accompanying it. He buried them deep down, further than he ever had before, keeping his injured brother at the forefront of his mind. “Ready?” he asked, glad for the noncommittal tone of his voice.
“Ya. I am hungry. Or should I say mei boppli is. I’m eating for two after all.” She gave him a sweet smile.
And, despite everything he tried to do to prevent it, he smiled back.
“That hit the spot.”
Moriah watched as Gabriel leaned back in his chair, his hands clasped over his flat stomach, covering the bottom part of the straps of his suspenders.
“I should hope so,” she said good-naturedly, eyeing the remnants of the huge meal he’d consumed—scrambled eggs, bacon, sausage links, fried potatoes, a biscuit, and two cups of coffee. Her breakfast of maple-and-brown-sugar oatmeal paled in comparison.
“Sure you don’t want anything else?” he said. “The food here isn’t half-bad. Not like your cooking, of course.”
She blushed. “Danki. I enjoy cooking.”
“I enjoy eating what you cook.” He straightened, suddenly appearing flustered. “I mean, I enjoyed what you used to cook . . . before Levi—oh forget it, you know what I mean.”
“I do.” She smiled. “I’m looking forward to cooking for you all again.”
“I hope that’s exactly what happens.”
“You hope?” Moriah looked at him, uncertainty puncturing her bubble of hope. “You don’t think he’s coming back?”
He held up his hand. “Nee, nee. That’s not what I meant. Only that it will take time for him to heal.”
She paused before responding, looking at him for a long moment. While his words said one thing, the doubt flickering in his eyes said another. But she wouldn’t let Gabriel’s reservations about Levi distract her from making sure that her husband and her marriage were fully restored. “We should get back,” she said, pushing away from the table.
“Ya.”
“I need to call Mami first. She’ll want to know how Levi is faring. I also need some clothes, and Levi will probably want some of his things too once he’s feeling better.”
“I tell you what,” Gabriel said, rising from his chair. He picked up the small Styrofoam container that held a blueberry muffin for John. “Don’t worry about calling your mudder. I’ll take a taxi back to Middlefield and visit her myself. Let me know what you need and what I should bring for Levi, and I’ll make sure it’s done.”
“You don’t have to do that—”
“All right,” she said as they walked out of the cafeteria together. A sense of eagerness enveloped her at the thought of seeing Levi again. Maybe he would be awake by the time they got back. If not, then surely he would be sometime today. She wanted to be there when it happened.
They exited the elevator on the second floor and walked down the hallway to the intensive care unit. When they stopped by the waiting room, it was empty. “Daed must be with Levi,” Gabriel said. Turning the corner, he pressed a large silver disk, which opened the ICU’s double doors. They stepped into the unit and walked to Levi’s room.
Moriah’s breath caught when she looked through the glass that formed one wall of Levi’s room. John was seated beside Levi, holding his hand . . . and Levi’s eyes were open. Tears clouded her vision, and she barely saw John motion for her and Gabriel to come in.
Once inside, John gestured for Moriah to sit in his chair. She did so, then stared at her husband. She almost couldn’t believe he was finally awake. Filled with gratitude, she couldn’t speak.
“Hi,” he said, his voice barely audible.
“Oh, Levi.” She took his hand and held it. He didn’t squeeze back, but she didn’t care. The tears fell down her cheeks.
“Moriah . . . please.” He looked at her, his eyes barely open due to the bruising. “Don’t.”
“I’m sorry.” She briskly wiped at her cheeks and smiled.
“That’s better.” He turned his gaze from hers and looked at Gabriel. “Glad you’re here.”
Moriah glanced over her shoulder at Gabriel, who was swallowing hard. He moved to the opposite side of the bed so that they surrounded Levi.
“Don’t try to talk too much,” she said to him. “There’s plenty of time for that.”
Levi shook his head slightly, and she could see it took a lot of effort for him to do so. “Moriah, I want you to know . . . I’m sorry.”
She grasped his hand in both of hers, then kissed his scratched up knuckles. “It’s all right, Levi.”
“Nee, it’s not. I don’t deserve you. I never did.”
“Don’t say things like that.”
He closed his eyes and didn’t respond.
A moment later John said, “I think he’s fallen asleep again.” He put his hand on Moriah’s shoulder. “We should let him rest.”
She nodded, then rose from her chair. Taking one last look at her husband, she said, “Don’t worry, Levi. I’ll be back.” Then she turned and John led her out of the room.
Gabe lingered behind. He shook his head as he watched Moriah leave. Despite everything Levi had put her through, she was still tender with him, reassuring him that she would come back. Gabe marveled at her once again.
“Gabe?”
He looked down at Levi, surprised to see him awake again and his gaze intense. That had to be a good sign. “Ya, bruder?”
“Promise me something.” Levi licked his dry lips.
Bending down closer so he could hear his brother’s weak voice, he said, “Anything, Levi. Whatever you want me to do.”
Levi’s eyes drooped. “Take care of her . . . Take care of Moriah.”
Gabe started to respond but saw that Levi had drifted off to sleep once again. Of course he would take care of Moriah. He would as much as she would allow—or as much as Levi would allow after he came back home.
Turning, he left Levi and went to the waiting room, not wanting to disturb his brother. Moriah and his father were seated on the couch, their expressions more peaceful than he had seen in a long time. He expelled a long breath. Everything would be okay. He truly believed that.
“Have a seat, sohn,” John said, gesturing to the chair opposite the cushioned sofa. “How’s Levi?”
Gabe lowered himself into the plush, light-green upholstered seat. “He fell asleep again.”
“Not surprised. He’s been through a lot, but he’s on the mend now.” Reaching toward Moriah, John patted her hand, and she smiled in return.
Closing his eyes, Gabe settled back in the chair. It was pretty comfortable, and he suddenly became drowsy. He’d catch a short nap, then make arrangements to go back to Middlefield. He wondered how Aaron was doing at the shop. Hopefully they hadn’t had too much business.
“Mrs. Miller?”
Gabe’s eyes flew open at the sound of a male voice. He looked up through sleepy eyes to see a doctor, this one unfamiliar to him. The troubled expression on the man’s face made Gabe bolt upright.
“Yes?” Moriah said, rising from the couch.
She also looked sleepy, and Gabe assumed she had taken a nap while he had been asleep. He glanced up at the clock on the wall. A little over an hour had passed since he’d left Levi.
The doctor walked into the room. He seemed younger than the surgeon who had operated on Levi. Adjusting his rimless glasses on the bridge of his nose, he cleared his throat. “I’m sorry, Mrs. Miller.”
“Sorry?” Moriah’s voice cracked. “Sorry for what?”
“We did all we could.”
A metallic taste coated Gabe’s mouth. What was he talking about?
“We’re not sure what happened, but we suspect a clot went to his lung.” The doctor paused to give her time to absorb what he’d said. “This isn’t something we can predict, or plan for. Sometimes it just happens. I’m truly sorry for your loss.”
“My loss?” Moriah raised her hands to her lips. “He’s gone? Levi’s gone?”
“Moriah,” John’s voice, filled with grief, reached Gabe’s ears.
“Nee, nee. He can’t be gone. He was fine; that other doctor said so. I just saw him!” She turned an accusing glare at Gabe. “You said he was asleep!”
His legs started to shake. “He was when I left.” He faced the doctor, the full meaning of the situation hitting him like a steel rod to his gut. “He was fine when I left.”
“Mr. Miller, it happened so suddenly, only moments ago. I don’t know what else to tell you. Your brother is gone.”
His body felt numb. Levi, dead? It wasn’t possible. Yet one look at the doctor’s expression confirmed the truth.
“Nee,” Moriah moaned. She walked to the glass window and put her hand on it. Sobs wracked her body. “He can’t be gone. Not when I finally have him back.”
Gabe, consumed with his own pain, came up behind her and wrapped his arms around her. She turned and leaned her head against his shoulder, her tears wetting his shirt, her body shaking against his. Unable to control his own grief, he pulled her tightly against him, and they both cried in each other’s arms.
Chapter 11
Gabe, you don’t have to do this.” Tobias put his hand on Gabe’s shoulder. “The fellas and I will handle it.”
“I know you will. Let me help you anyway.”
Tobias shrugged, sorrow reflected in his blue eyes. He handed Gabe a shovel, then stepped back.
Gabe choked back his tears as he thrust his shovel into the nearby pile of dirt that had been dug out of the ground the day before. He tossed the first heap of soil onto his brother’s grave.
The funeral service had ended a short time ago, and everyone but four of Levi’s friends, who had served as pallbearers along with Tobias and Luke, had left for the house. The six men had stayed behind to bury Levi. The Byler family was at his house, preparing refreshments for anyone who wanted to pay their respects. John and Moriah had gone back with them, but Gabe had chosen to stay and help finish the burial.
The men worked quickly—too quickly for Gabe’s liking. When the last shovelful of dirt was tamped down across Levi’s grave, Gabe experienced pain so wrenching it threatened to double him over. He knelt beside the fresh soil. His brother, his twin—gone forever. Regrets flooded over him. He had given up on Levi too easily. He should have gone out to Gates Mills more often, worked harder to con
vince him to come home. Instead he had written him off, letting his anger over his treatment of Moriah supercede everything else.
Now there was nothing he could do. There was no turning back time, no making up for mistakes. Levi was gone, and a part of Gabe had gone with him.
“We’re heading back to your house,” Tobias said, hunkering down next to Gabe. “Take your time. I’ll tell them you’ll be along in a bit.”
He turned to Moriah’s brother and nodded. “Danki,” he said, his voice sounding gravelly and strange.
Alone at the graveside, Gabe looked at the small, square headstones on all the graves in the cemetery. Each one was the same size and shape, plain and unadorned. Just like Levi’s would be. Details of the accident had slowly surfaced in the aftermath of Levi’s death, and over the past three days, their family had been able to piece together what had happened. Taylor had been driving her fancy sports car, with Levi in the passenger seat. They had been sideswiped by a semitruck and sent careening across the berm into oncoming traffic, with Levi receiving the bulk of the injuries. While the surgery had initially been a success, he had indeed died from a blood clot.
Gabe dug his hands into the earth and squeezed. At least when Levi had been with the Yankees, there was always the slim hope they would see him again. Now that hope was gone. Yet even through his grief, he couldn’t be angry with God. Levi had made his choices, just as Gabe had made the decision to write off his brother. He couldn’t blame God for the mistakes they had both made. He could only try to find a way to heal from them.
The one thing he could take comfort from was that during the breakfast he had shared with Moriah in the hospital, Levi had spoken to their father and asked him for forgiveness, explaining he wanted to come back to the church. Although Levi hadn’t repented publicly in the church, under the circumstances the bishop and ministers had accepted that as repentance. Levi would be with his people from now on.
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