“Rachel?”
She swirled around at the sound of her name and saw Christian standing behind her.
Tobias had never been jealous a day in his life. But when he saw Rachel run up to Christian, he turned green.
“Christian!” she exclaimed, going to him, but stopping short of throwing herself in his arms. Instead she put her hands on her hips. “You have a lot of nerve showing up here after all this time.”
Christian, to his credit, appeared contrite. “Rachel, I’m so sorry. I wanted to come back earlier, but my uncle’s injury was very serious. He came close to breaking his back, so they needed me to stay there until he could heal.”
“And you couldn’t tell me this in a letter?”
Tobias hid a grin. For once someone else was on the receiving end of her ire. And with good reason. Christian should have never been away from her for this long without giving her more of an explanation.
“I’m not much of a letter writer. To be honest, I was exhausted. I know I should have called and written more, but I kept thinking he would recover and I could come home soon. But it took longer than we all thought. He’s still not a hundred percent, but I couldn’t be away from home any longer.”
“Oh, Christian, I’m so sorry.” She took her hands off her hips and walked toward him.
Tobias’s good humor disintegrated. He didn’t like the soft way Rachel was talking to Christian, or the moony expression on Christian’s face. Tobias cleared his throat and they broke apart, Rachel turning around and giving him an annoyed look.
Christian peeked past her shoulder. “Hello, Tobias. Nice to see you.” He strode toward him and held out his hand. “It’s gut to be back home.”
“I’m sure it is.” He shook Christian’s hand, guilt striking him. He had no right to be jealous. Christian and Rachel had been courting long before Tobias had understood his true feelings for Rachel. Christian was his friend, and he had been so close to betraying that friendship by telling Rachel how he felt. He’d already let it slip that he liked her, and she seemed shocked by the revelation. He could only imagine how she would react if he told her how much he really cared about her.
Christian leaned forward, lowering his voice. “Hey, do mind if I have a few moments alone with my girl?”
Another wave of jealousy rose within Tobias, but he shoved it down. “Sure.” He shrugged in the most nonchalant way he could muster, then looked at Rachel. “I promised Carol Mullet I’d sit beside her during the singing anyway.”
Pain flashed in her eyes, and for the second time in five minutes, he wanted to kick himself. He’d made no such promise, even though he knew that Carol had liked him for a long time and probably wouldn’t mind one bit if he sat next to her. He’d lashed out from his own envy and had hurt Rachel in the process, all because he couldn’t handle how she made him feel—irritated, excited, interested, and most of all, confused.
Pulling down the brim of his straw hat, he headed inside the barn, needing to get away from both of them. He stood in the doorway and immediately saw Carol standing next to the refreshment table. She gave him a small wave and then smiled, her gray eyes shining behind her wire-rimmed glasses. Carol was a nice enough girl. Maybe he would sit with her after all. Perhaps she could help him forget about Rachel, who was now off limits since Christian had returned. He walked over to her and gave her his most charming grin.
“I missed you so much, Rachel.”
Rachel pulled her gaze from Tobias’s retreating form. “What?”
“I missed you.” Christian smiled, more animated than she’d ever seen him. “I hated being apart from you for so long.”
“Me too,” she said absently. Why had Tobias promised to sit with Carol Mullet? Did he like her? If he did, then what kind of game was he playing, telling Rachel he liked her when he really liked someone else? Or did he just enjoy teasing them both?
“Rachel? Are you listening to me?”
She blinked and looked at Christian’s face. “Ya, I’m listening to you.” Irritation sparked her voice. “I’m standing right here, aren’t I?”
Christian’s smile faded. “I know you’re mad at me, and you have every right to be. I should have called more, written more.” He took a step toward her. “I promise, I’ll make it up to you.”
The sound of hymn-singing wafted over to them. Glancing around, she saw that the teens playing volleyball had already gone inside the barn. She and Christian were alone.
“I did a lot of thinking while I was gone,” Christian said. He reached out and took Rachel’s hand.
She jumped, surprised at the gesture. “Christian, what are you—”
“Shhh.” He put his finger on her lips, and her eyes widened. “We need to talk.”
Moving her mouth from his hand, she said, “I don’t really think this is a gut ti—”
“I think we should get married this November.”
“What?”
“Get married. I’ve thought about you every day while I was gone. It was like a part of me was missing without you. I believe God was telling me that we were meant to be together. Forever.”
“But, Christian, doesn’t this seem sudden?”
“I know it does, but I’ve been doing a lot of thinking while I was gone. When my uncle got hurt, it took a toll on my aunt. She thought she’d lost him. You should have seen how she took care of him while he was laid up.”
Rachel couldn’t believe his words. “You want to get married so I can take care of you?”
“Nee, it’s not just that. I also heard about Levi.” His expression sobered. “Life’s too short, Rachel. And I don’t see any reason why we should wait any longer to get married. You never know what might happen.”
“But, Christian, you just got back. I need some time.”
He took a step back, disappointment darkening his features. “Are you saying you don’t want to marry me, Rachel?”
“Nee, I’m not saying that—” Before she could finish, he bent toward her and kissed her lightly on the mouth.
“You’ve made me so happy, Rachel. I know you’ll be a wun-derbaar frau.”
Wife? Had she somehow agreed to marriage and didn’t realize it? She didn’t recognize the man in front of her. She’d never seen him so excited, so exuberant. It was as if he was a completely different person. And now she was going to marry him?
She didn’t even know him anymore.
“Let’s go inside,” he said, putting his hand on the back of her waist as if he already possessed her. “The singing’s started.”
In a daze she walked with him to the barn. Thirty or so young people were sitting on wooden chairs, some in groups, some in pairs, surrounded by bales of fresh hay. When they stepped inside she expected him to drop his hand, but he didn’t. Her cheeks turned red as she realized he’d all but shouted to their friends that she and Christian were more than just courting. Her gaze landed on the floor, wishing she could turn around and tell Christian that she needed to think about his proposal. When she looked up, she spied Tobias.
He was sitting next to Carol Mullet. Very close to her. She looked as if she would pop with glee. Glancing up from the hymnal, his gaze caught hers for a split moment, then he looked at Carol and smiled.
So that was it. The feelings she had for him were definitely one-sided. Good thing she found out now, before she had really started liking him. She should have known better anyway. Tobias Byler was only interested in himself. Soon Carol would realize that, just as Rachel had. Her initial analysis had been right—Christian was far superior than Tobias could ever hope to be. He wouldn’t toy with her emotions, wouldn’t make her feel like a fool. She didn’t need to think about Christian’s proposal any more. She had already made up her mind.
“Ready?” Christian whispered in her ear as he led her into the barn.
She turned to Christian and smiled. At least she tried to, but the burning lump in her throat made it difficult. Fortunately he didn’t seem to notice. “Ya. I’m ready.”
“Moriah, I think it’s clean enough.”
From her position on the kitchen floor, Moriah looked up at her mother. Emma crossed her arms, a stern expression on her face. Moriah turned her attention back to the spot she was scrubbing with a soapy rag. Sweat dripped from her brow onto the floor. “I just need to get this spot up,” she said.
Emma crouched down and took the rag out of her daughter’s hand. “I said, it’s clean enough.”
Unwilling to argue with her mother, Moriah moved to rise from the floor. The baby had grown quite a bit in the past month, swelling her belly and making her feel off balance. Emma reached out and helped her to her feet.
“You have no business scrubbing the floor,” Emma chided. “Not when I can do it. Or Elisabeth and Ruth.”
“You have enough work to do,” Moriah said, wiping her slick forehead. August heat filtered through the house. “I’m only trying to do my share.”
“You’re doing more than your share. Sit down, Moriah.” Emma gestured toward the kitchen table. “I’ll bring you something to drink.”
“Nee, I can get it.”
“I said sit down. No arguments.”
Moriah dutifully sat. Her mother returned with a cold glass of water, filled with ice cubes from the outside gas freezer. “Drink this. It will help cool you off.”
The water felt refreshing sliding down her parched throat. She hadn’t realized how thirsty she was. She had been so focused on getting the stain up from the floor, scrubbing and scrubbing until her hand ached. But it was no use. The stain had set in. Just as sorrow and loneliness had settled into her soul.
“I’m worried about you, Moriah. Your daed is too.” Emma sat down, her own face rosy from the heat of the day. “You’re working even harder at your chores than before, and you’ve been so quiet the past few weeks. You haven’t even wanted to stay for dinner after the church services.” She laid her hand on Moriah’s forearm. “Please, dochder, tell me what’s going on.”
Moriah looked away. She didn’t want to talk about her tumultuous feelings, not when she’d been trying so hard to cast them away. Levi’s affair haunted her while Gabriel’s declaration of love confused her. He had said he would take care of her for the rest of his life. That Levi asked him to do so. But she hadn’t been good enough for Levi. What if she wasn’t enough for Gabriel? What if she would never be enough for any man? She didn’t want to find out. She couldn’t go through this pain again.
“Moriah, honey, please. Talk to me. Is this about Gabriel?”
She jerked her head. “What makes you say that?”
“He used to visit all the time. I notice he hasn’t been here in a while.”
“He’s busy.”
Emma sighed. “I’m sure he is, but he always found time for you before.”
“He must have realized I wasn’t worth it.”
“Now where is that coming from?”
Moriah rose from her chair. The truth was, Gabriel had come around, several times, but she had sent him away. She hadn’t seen him for nearly three weeks now, except at church, where she avoided him. Evading him was easier than seeing the yearning in his eyes. “I’m going to take a nap, Mami.” Without waiting for her mother to respond, she left the kitchen and went upstairs, glad that Elisabeth was at her babysitting job so she could have their room to herself.
She lay down on her side and stared at the wall on the opposite side of the room. The bedroom was sweltering hot, but she didn’t care. Her baby moved, and she put her hand over her belly. The babe’s active movements were the only thing that brought her joy anymore. But even that was tempered by the knowledge that the baby would never know his or her father.
Next to her bed was a Bible, but she didn’t pick it up. She hadn’t read the book in weeks, not since the day Taylor had visited, that same day Gabriel had revealed his secret. Her prayer life had always been strong, but she couldn’t bring herself to pray. What good would it do? She didn’t even know what to pray for anymore. All her hopes and dreams had been shattered, and she didn’t trust her own judgment. How could she, when she had completely believed in Levi’s fickle devotion, but had never noticed Gabriel’s love?
There was one thing she had decided on. After the baby was born, she would get a job to support herself and the child. Her parents would always have a place for her, but she didn’t want to depend on them anymore either. She would never marry. She would never put her trust in love again.
Flipping over on her back, she closed her eyes, tired of the thoughts assaulting her, tired of feeling empty. Finally, she succumbed to her weariness.
Gabe stood in front of the blazing forge until his face felt like it was on fire. He welcomed the burning as it heated his cheeks, threatening to sear the skin. Only until he couldn’t stand it anymore did he step back, his face tingling as his flesh cooled.
If only his resentment could be as easily extinguished.
Even though the shop didn’t officially open for another hour, he came out here to think, to try to figure out what he should do. He hadn’t seen her in nearly a month, and he was dying inside. Telling her he loved her had broken a dam of yearning inside him, one he couldn’t repair.
Leaning against one of his work tables, he hung his head. “What did you expect?” he said aloud to the empty shop. “Her to fall in love with you?”
No, he hadn’t expected it. But he had hoped for it.
He loved her so much—still did—but now it was even more difficult to hide that love than it had been before. When she had been married to Levi, when he hadn’t confessed his feelings aloud, he could push them down. But now that she knew, his love increased each time he caught a glimpse of her, and it was compounded by the fact that she was still out of his reach.
Picking up a rod of iron, he held it in the fiery flame of the forge, watching it grow red hot. As the rod heated, so did Gabe’s emotions. Yanking the rod prematurely out of the forge, he tossed it in the water bath and threw off his gloves.
“You’re up awful early.”
Gabe answered his father, but didn’t turn around. “Ya. Thought I’d get a head start.”
“By ruining that piece of metal?”
With a sigh Gabe said, “Sorry.”
John came up beside him. “I’m not bothered about that, sohn. I’m worried about you.”
“Don’t be. I’m fine.”
“That’s what everyone says, especially when they’re the exact opposite. I know your heart is hurt over Moriah, especially after you told her how you feel about her, but she needs time, Gabriel.”
“Ya.” Gabe said, but the bitterness seeped through his voice.
“You can’t force her into your life, sohn.”
“I’m not forcing anything!”
“You don’t think telling her about Levi’s request might make her feel pressured?”
“I didn’t have a choice.” He tossed his hat on the work table and hung his head. “She was upset with me about not coming forward about Levi’s affair. She asked me if I had any more secrets.” He glanced up. “I had to be honest with her. I wanted her to know I would never give up on her, that I would always care for her. I wouldn’t be like . . .”
“Like Levi?”
“I would never hurt her, Daed.”
“She’s already hurting, Gabriel. You both are.”
“Even more reason for me to make her understand how much I love her.”
“You can try. But you need to prepare your heart. Be ready to accept that you may never have her. God may have chosen another husband for Moriah.”
Just the thought of it made Gabe’s stomach twist in knots. If that happened he didn’t think he could take it. He would never abandon his father, but how could he live with seeing her married to someone else again? “I thought you were on my side.”
John put his hand on Gabe’s shoulder. “I am. I always will be, no matter what. But sometimes, despite our best intentions, certain things aren’t meant to be. And if you think
you’re letting Levi down, don’t. If he were here now, he wouldn’t let this go on.”
“If it wasn’t for me, he might be here now.” Gabe sat in a chair and let his head drop in his hands.
As he sat down beside him, John asked, “What do you mean?”
“If I had told her how I felt a long time ago things would be different.”
“You can’t know that for sure. Moriah might have gone on to marry Levi no matter what you told her. Remember, God always has a plan.”
“But what kind of plan is this? Levi’s dead; Moriah’s pregnant, left to raise her baby alone.”
“Her family will help her. We’ll all help her.”
“You know what I mean. That child needs a father.”
John stroked his beard for a long time. “What’s the real reason you want to marry Moriah?”
“You know why. I love her. I love her more than anything.”
He patted him on the shoulder. “Spend some time in prayer, Gabriel. Seek God through this. And above all, remember that sometimes the hardest thing to do when we love someone is to let them go.”
The door to the shop opened and Aaron walked inside. He glanced at the two men, but didn’t say anything. Instead he headed for the back of the shop and put his blue lunch cooler on the cluttered desk.
“Remember what I said.” John stepped away. “Take it to God, Gabriel.” He went to the front of the shop and flipped the Closed sign to Open.
Gabe worked steadily throughout the day, but his mind was consumed with Moriah and his father’s words. He didn’t have to pray about his reasons for wanting to marry Moriah. He loved her, and he wanted to spend the rest of his life with her. The thought of living without her made him weep. If that wasn’t love, then he didn’t know what was. But he did need to pray for her, for both of them. Only God could see them through this. Other than that, the only thing he was sure about was that he’d do whatever he could in his power to make her happy. Even if that meant staying away from her forever.
The Hearts of Middlefield Collection Page 22