As they walked out the door, she saw Aaron standing at the bottom of the porch stairs. “You did it,” he said, grinning. “Congratulations.”
Elisabeth gave her husband a warning look, and his smile disappeared, replaced by a guilty expression.
“What was that about?” Deborah said, holding Will as she watched Aaron slink back to the buggy.
“Oh, nix.”
“C’mon. I know you better than that. Aaron wouldn’t have disappeared like that if he hadn’t said something he shouldn’t.”
Elisabeth grimaced. “All right. He said I wouldn’t be able to convince you to let us keep Will this afternoon.”
“I’m still not sure it’s a gut idea.” She held on to Will a little tighter. He arched his back in response.
“Now hold on a minute. First off, Aaron always underestimates my powers of persuasion. You’d think someday he’d figure out that I can talk—I mean encourage—anyone into doing anything.”
“Yes, your badgering—I mean encouraging—skills are pretty gut.”
Elisabeth laughed, which made Deborah grin. It felt good to smile, even for a moment. The past two days had been awful. Naomi was colder to her than ever before, though Deborah hadn’t thought that was possible. And the guilt over running away from Stephen wouldn’t go away. He hadn’t stopped by in the past few days, and she couldn’t blame him. He had been so caring, and she had treated him so poorly. Yet what choice did she have? He had put his arm around her in a friendly way, and she had turned into a puddle of mush, laying her head on his shoulder and soaking in his comfort, her mind traveling beyond that moment and thinking about what it would feel like to be wrapped in his huge arms, to feel his kiss—
Her smile disappeared as her emotions warred inside. She was hopeless. And as her sister said, a fool.
“Deborah?” Elisabeth snapped her fingers once. “You’re not changing your mind, are you?” She held her hands out to Will. “Here, yung mann, let me take you before your mudder backs out.” The toddler went to Elisabeth without protest.
Deborah watched her friend and son for a moment, listening as Elisabeth cooed a few nonsense words to Will. “You’ll be a gut mudder when the time comes, Elisabeth.”
“I’m not sure about that.” She sighed. “But Aaron’s terrific with kinner.” She lowered her voice. “He’s ready to be a daed. But God hasn’t seen fit to let it happen, at least not yet. I think it’s my fault.”
“Why would you think that?”
“I have a lot of doubts about having a boppli. I’ve been praying about it a lot, asking God to help me have more confidence about being a mudder. I don’t think it will come naturally to me, like it did you.”
Deborah was flattered by her words, but she shook her head. “It will, Elisabeth. I was terrified before Will was born. What did I know about having a boppli ? I didn’t have any nieces or nephews to watch, and I was all alone.”
Elisabeth sobered. “I’m sorry. Here I am whining about my dumm doubts while you had to geh through this all by yourself.”
“They’re not dumm, Elisabeth. I’m sure if I had been married I would have had the same fears. But God helped me through it, and He’ll help you, when you have your children.”
Restless, Will wiggled in Elisabeth’s grasp. “You better get going, or else he’ll change his mind,” Deborah said.
“Will do. Danki for the advice.” Elisabeth smiled. “We’ll take gut care of him for you.”
“I know you will.” But even though she felt reassured that her son was in safe hands with Elisabeth and Aaron, it didn’t make watching them leave any easier. After the buggy disappeared, she didn’t know what to do next. Naomi had left for Middlefield earlier in the day to do some shopping, and her father, as usual, was out working, this time in the cornfield, double checking that all the good ears had been picked and collecting the ones that never fully matured for the pigs. For the first time since before Will’s birth, she was completely alone.
A cool breeze kicked up, making the ribbons of her kapp flutter. A couple of orange and red leaves skittered across the porch. Noticing the dust on the porch, she picked up a broom and started sweeping. The mundane task helped keep her mind off Will. But it would take a lot more than sweeping to put Stephen out of her mind.
Chapter 17
As Stephen made his way to the Coblentzes’, he saw Aaron and Elisabeth’s buggy on the opposite side of the road. He slowed, and when he waved, he saw Will sitting on Elisabeth’s lap. His sister had been talking about taking care of Will and giving Deborah a break, but he was surprised to see Aaron with her. Then again, his sister had never been confident in her babysitting skills. Aaron must’ve taken the day off to lend his support.
He directed Trapper down the dirt road to the Coblentz farm. He had missed being here. Two days ago, Byler and Sons had gotten a huge order for bookcases from a Yankee customer, and he had spent the past couple days helping his father and brothers with it. But the whole time he’d been in the shop, he’d itched to come back to the farm. Something strange had happened in the three weeks he’d been helping the Coblentzes. He had fallen in love with farming.
As a kid he’d visited his grandparents’ farm in Holmes County, and he’d always enjoyed it, but this was different. Now he felt connected to the land. He loved soaking up the sunshine while working in the field. Spending the end of the day looking across the pasture, listening to the cows lowing and the chickens clucking as they settled in for the night. Breathing in the fresh air, feeling the warm, soft earth in his hands. All that filled him with happiness, much more so than working as a carpenter in a wood shop. He’d never been dissatisfied with his work as a carpenter until now. And the more he thought about it, the more he wanted a farm of his own.
But he knew that dream was far off. He had a lot of hurdles to overcome first. He’d have to save up enough money to purchase the land. God wasn’t going to drop a farm in his lap. Then he’d have to tell his father he was leaving the family business. That would be harder than anything he’d ever done, and he wasn’t sure he could go through with it. He had to put the matter to prayer before he made any decisions.
As he drove, he also thought of Deborah. She hadn’t been far from his mind since his last visit to the farm, and putting his confusing feelings about Deborah into prayer was more difficult. He wasn’t sure how he felt about her. He liked her, a lot. He also respected her and admired how she took care of her son and her father. Her nurturing nature appealed to him. It didn’t help at all that she was pretty and seemed to become more so each time he saw her.
The special order for bookcases had come at a good time, because while he missed working on the farm, it gave him time to figure out what to do about Deborah. He had to honor her wishes. If she didn’t want him to help her, he wouldn’t. He’d focus on Moses and the farm exclusively, no matter how hard it would be.
When he turned his buggy into his usual parking place, he saw that the Coblentzes’ buggy wasn’t there. He wondered if anyone was home. He’d never come on a Saturday, but he’d gotten the time off from the shop to make up for the days he’d missed at the farm. Working so many hours this week had taken its toll on him, and he had to admit he was pretty tired. But once he stepped out of the buggy, a cool blast of air refreshed him, and he was ready to dive into work.
Stephen walked inside the barn and checked on the animals. They were all fed and content, so he headed for the back of the pasture to check on Moses’ progress on the fence. He hadn’t been back there since he’d first started helping at the farm, as Moses always said he had the repairs under control. But after he’d stamped through a field of shorn timothy grass, he came to the fence and frowned, noticing that the rips in the wire hadn’t been touched. He walked farther along, inspecting the fence, until he reached the very back of the pasture. Not a single repair had been done.
Stephen scratched the back of his neck. What had Moses been doing all this time back here? It didn’t make any sense. Had he r
un out of fencing, or out of money to buy it, and hadn’t mentioned it to Stephen? If that was the case, he wasn’t all that surprised. But still, he wished Moses would’ve said something. Stephen would have bought the materials himself if he had to.
Some needle-nose pliers and a little elbow grease could fix a couple of those holes. Stephen turned to head to the barn to get his tools, but something caught his eye several feet away. He went to investigate, and as he neared the dark form, he realized it was a person. He sprinted forward when he recognized who it was.
When Deborah heard Stephen’s buggy approach, she gripped the handle of the broom tightly and kept right on sweeping. Her palms started to sweat, and she forced herself to keep her back to the barn until she finished the chore. After the porch was swept cleaner than she’d ever seen it, she leaned the broom against the railing. At that exact moment, Stephen left the barn and walked out to the pasture. She couldn’t help but watch him as he went, his long stride and confident gait mesmerizing. She snapped herself back to reality and went inside. It was safer there. She didn’t have to worry about seeing him again.
But what was she supposed to do in here? Naomi had cleaned every single inch of the house, so she didn’t have any housekeeping to do. She’d finished her laundry yesterday, since Naomi only washed her and her father’s clothes on Mondays. All the canning was done, and the breads had been baked for the week. She thought about picking up her knitting, but she wasn’t in the mood. Maybe she should go work in the garden. There were always weeds to pull. But then she’d probably see Stephen again, and she didn’t want that. At least she tried to convince herself that she didn’t want to see him.
She plopped down on the couch in the living room and saw a copy of Family Life magazine on the coffee table. She thumbed through it and set it back down. She missed Will. A glance at the clock on the fireplace mantle told her he wouldn’t be home for another hour.
Deborah sat there for a few moments before her eyes drooped. She stretched out on the couch and was just about asleep when the screen door burst open. She sat up and saw Stephen rushing in, her father in his arms.
“Daed?” She jumped up from the couch. “What happened? What’s wrong with Daed?”
Stephen laid her father on the couch. His skin was ashen, and she couldn’t tell if he was breathing. She whirled and faced Stephen, fear climbing in her throat. “What’s wrong with him?” she shrieked.
“I don’t know! I found him lying by the fence when I went out there.” He looked at Deborah, his chest heaving up and down. “Call an ambulance!”
Deborah ran to the call box at the end of their drive. She knew a doctor who made house calls; she’d call him first. Fear tried to numb her legs and thoughts. Would her father be okay? She couldn’t take it if she lost her daed too.
Deborah hugged her body as she stared out of the picture window in their living room. It was dark outside, and there were no street lamps by their house. All she saw was her own shadowy image reflected back at her, with a background of inky darkness behind her. Worry coursed through her, so strong she could barely contain it. The doctor had arrived quickly after Deborah’s call. Just before his arrival, her father had regained consciousness, and at the doctor’s request, Stephen had helped Daed to his bedroom. The doctor was in there now, examining him. Deborah knew she should be grateful that he was awake, but until she heard the doctor say her father was all right, she couldn’t let go of her dread.
Adding to her worry was the fact that Will hadn’t returned. Elisabeth should have been back with him by now. What if something happened to her baby? The thought brought tears to her eyes and compressed the air out of her chest. She couldn’t even find the words to pray.
“Deborah?”
She turned at the sound of Stephen’s voice. He had disappeared outside after helping Daed to the bedroom. Now he walked toward her, concern etched on his features, weariness creasing the corners of his dark blue eyes. She automatically went to him, drawn by his compassion.
When they were inches from each other, they both halted. He looked down at her. She breathed in the faint scent of hay and animals. It was a smell she’d grown up with, one she never minded and found comforting. They looked at each other for a long moment, not saying a word. Then he held out his arms to her. Without hesitation she walked into them.
“He’ll be okay, Deborah.”
Stephen’s soft voice cloaked her like a warm quilt on a frigid day. She wanted to believe him. But the longer the doctor stayed in the room with her father, the more the doubts set in. “I can’t lose him,” she said, choking on the words.
“You won’t. I prayed that it wouldn’t happen.”
She stepped back and looked up at him. “You prayed for him?”
He nodded. “Just now. While I was in the barn.”
She marveled at how he was able to pray to God when she wasn’t able to. “Danki.” A tear rolled down her cheek.
He reached out and brushed it off with his thumb, then jerked away. “Sorry.”
“Don’t be.” She looked up at him, moved to the core by his gentleness. There wasn’t a single man kinder or gentler than Stephen Byler, she was sure of that. And right now she needed that feather-light touch more than anything.
Stephen knew he shouldn’t have touched Deborah. The gesture of wiping her tears was meant to be innocent, to offer comfort. Yet the emotions churning inside him from that brief contact were anything but innocent. Her skin was so smooth against his thumb. And now she was embracing him. Out of her own grief, he knew. But deep inside he wished she were embracing him for a different reason. She smelled sweet, the scent of the outdoors still in her hair. Powerless to stop himself, he stroked her back, and leaned down and rested his cheek on top of her head.
The front door opened and she jerked out of his embrace. “Will?” she cried, spinning around.
His arms were still stretched out in front of him, feeling empty, his body suddenly cold from the absence of her warmth. He saw Naomi come through the door. She froze, staring at them.
“What’s going on here?” Her disapproving gaze traveled from Deborah to Stephen. Her eyes were cold, her tone frosty.
“Nix,” Deborah said, going to her. “Naomi—”
“You were hugging him.” She snapped her eyes to Stephen, distrust radiating from her. “I saw you. Don’t deny it.” She glared at Deborah. “I can see he’s helping himself to more than the farm.”
Deborah clenched her fists. “You don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Oh, I think I do.”
Stephen could feel his blood pressure spike. No wonder Deborah had been so distraught over Naomi. The woman was meaner than a ticked-off bull. But before he could say anything, Deborah moved closer to her sister and spoke.
“Listen to me, Naomi. Something’s happened to Daed.”
Naomi’s flaming red cheeks suddenly paled. “What?”
“He’s in the bedroom now with the doctor—”
Naomi shoved past her, hurling a black glare at Stephen. “What did you do to him?”
Stephen held out his hands. “I didn’t do anything—”
But she had already moved past him, too, heading straight for her father’s bedroom.
“Naomi, don’t geh in there.” Deborah started after her. “The doctor is still examining him.”
“Don’t tell me what to do!” She spun around and faced Deborah. “If something happens to him, I will never forgive you. Ever!” Naomi hurried away in a flurry of anger.
Stephen’s ears burned from the woman’s words, and he wasn’t sure they were even directed at him. He looked at Deborah, who seemed more weary than shocked. He started to go toward her, but stopped, unsure he’d be able to keep a safe distance from her.
“I’m sorry you had to hear that.” Deborah crossed her arms over her chest, maintaining space between them.
Before he could respond, there was a knock on the door. Deborah turned around and opened it. Elisabeth stoo
d on the front porch, holding Will, who was asleep on her shoulder.
Deborah cried out with relief. “Where have you been?” She took the sleeping child from Elisabeth’s arms and hugged him close, then began to walk away.
“Deborah?” Elisabeth said, but when Deborah didn’t turn around, she looked at Stephen, her blue eyes wide with bewilderment. “What’s going on?”
Deborah had moved to the corner of the room, her face buried in her son’s neck. Stephen motioned for Elisabeth to go outside. He met her on the front porch.
“Stephen, what’s wrong with Deborah?”
He looked down at his sister, barely making out the white hue of her prayer kapp in the darkness. “Why were you late bringing Will home?” His tone was sharper than he intended.
“We stopped off at Aaron’s parents’ house for a short while. Aaron was helping his daed move some furniture out to the shed. We stayed a little longer than we thought.” Her voice sounded small. “I didn’t mean to make her mad. I should geh talk to her . . .”
Stephen cut in. “Now’s not a gut time. Where’s Aaron?”
“He’s waiting for me by the barn. Stephen, are you going to tell me what’s going on?”
He told her about Moses’ collapse and that Deborah was worried about Will. “She’ll be okay, once she finds out her daed is fine.”
“Is he going to be fine?”
He glanced over his shoulder, making sure Deborah wasn’t near the door. Lowering his voice, he said, “I don’t know.”
Elisabeth drew in a breath. “Should I stay? I can tell Aaron to geh home without me.”
Stephen shook his head. “I’ll stay.”
She nodded. “Make sure you keep an eye on her. I’ve never seen her so upset, not since she was . . . well, just look out for her, okay?”
“I will.” He wondered what his sister was referring to, but he didn’t ask.
Once Elisabeth left, he walked back inside. Deborah was sitting on the couch, Will leaning against her. He was still asleep. Stephen sat next to her, glad when she didn’t tell him to go away.
The Hearts of Middlefield Collection Page 68