The Simpsons: An Uncensored, Unauthorized History

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by John Ortved


  MATT STONE: The cocreator of South Park (with Trey Parker), which premiered in 1997 and is currently in its fourteenth season, doing for Comedy Central what The Simpsons had done for Fox. When Fox and Stone’s South Park film was nominated for an Oscar in 2000, he and Parker arrived on the red carpet wearing dresses popularized by Gwyneth Paltrow and Jennifer Lopez. Stone and Parker later said they had been on acid.

  JENNIFER TILLY: An actress who has starred in more than sixty films (including Woody Allen’s Bullets Over Broadway, for which she received an Oscar nomination), Tilly was married to the Simpsons cocreator and original head writer Sam Simon from 1984 to 1991. She has voiced characters in Stuart Little, Monsters, Inc., and Family Guy. Still close with Simon, Tilly has gone on to become a poker champion.

  CHRIS TURNER: A Canadian journalist, Turner is the author of Planet Simpson, a deeply insightful look into the cultural significance of the series. He is also the author of The Geography of Hope: A Tour of the World We Need. He lives with his wife and daughter in Calgary, Alberta.

  STEVEN TYLER: Lead singer of Aerosmith, who have been touring since 1970, when they formed in Boston. With more gold and platinum albums than any other group, four Grammys, places in the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame and on Rolling Stone’s “100 Greatest Artists of All Time” list, they are, quite simply, America’s greatest rock-and-roll band.

  JAMES VOWELL: In 1978, Vowell founded the LA Reader, a civic-minded, left-leaning publication focusing on Los Angeles’s subcultures. He hired Simpsons creator Matt Groening in 1979, first as a freelance writer, then as his assistant editor, publishing Life in Hell in April 1980 (Vowell also published cartoons by Eraserhead auteur David Lynch). In 1996, the LA Reader was sold to New Times Media, which closed the paper.

  JOSH WEINSTEIN: A graduate of Stanford, where he ran their comedy newspaper, The Stanford Chaparral, with his partner Bill Oakley, Josh was one of the first writers added to the original room. They were showrunners at The Simpsons for seasons seven and eight, and consulting producers at Futurama in 2001 and 2002, after attempting their own animated sitcom, Mission Hill.

  TOM WERNER: One half of Casey-Werner productions, the company behind The Cosby Show, Roseanne, 3rd Rock from the Sun, That 70’s Show, among others, Werner may be the only producer of sitcoms more successful than James L. Brooks. He currently lives in Boston, where he owns that city’s baseball team, the Red Sox. He also helped Oprah start the Oxygen network.

  ERIC WIRTANEN: A founder of the website NoHomers.net, where Simpsons episodes are rated, discussed, and gone over with a fine-tooth comb. Wirtanen had a fansite while he was in college in the late nineties—the most popular section of which was Simpsonsrelated—which he eventually migrated to NoHomers in 2001.

  TOM WOLFE: One of the most significant authors, journalists, and critics of the last century, Wolfe has written The Electric Kool-Aid Acid Test, The Right Stuff, and Bonfire of the Vanities, among many other books. Known for his signature white suits, Wolfe is one of the founders of the New Journalism, and coined that term, along with “radical chic,” the “Me Decade,” and “Masters of the Universe” (when referring to bankers).

  WALLACE WOLODARSKY: Wolodarsky and writing partner Jay Kogen worked on The Tracey Ullman Show before being hired as writers when The Simpsons got its own series. He and Kogen were the first writers hired on The Simpsons, leaving during Season 4. Most recently, he wrote the screenplays for Monsters vs Aliens and The Rocker, and played a supporting role in Wes Anderson’s The Darjeeling Limited.

  Acknowledgments

  If the following acknowledgments seem long for a book, it’s because this is my first and I had a great deal of help. The Simpsons history grew out of a story I wrote as a twenty-six-year-old associate at Vanity Fair, a good place to start.

  I owe a Canada-size debt to Graydon Carter, who hired me and let me write for his magazine. One could not ask for a better break; I hope I honored it.

  To Bruce Handy—a phenomenal boss, editor, and friend—who assigned me The Simpsons piece and backed me at every turn. Much respect and love to Wayne Lawson, the über mensch of Condé Nast who knew my mother when she was a “slip of a girl.” Big thanks to Doug Stumpf for the early education and support, and to Punch Hutton, for her guidance and humor. As well, to Aimee Bell and Susan White, Vanity Fair’s sappers; their generosity made a world of difference.

  To the brilliant and funny David Harris: You’re the treasure. And to Michael Roberts, who let me hang out in his office, and once even told me he liked what I was wearing. I can’t mention VF without thanking Chris Garrett, whose help was essential and who could have an excellent second career as a circus master.

  I want to thank Anne Fulenwider, for her remarkable patience, and for making my year when she asked me to write a Hall of Fame entry back in 2004; the very funny and very gracious Matt Tyrnauer; Peter Devine, whose candor and curiosity made every day a little more interesting; the very zen Ian Bascetta; Bryan Burrough, my favorite Texan; Lizzie Hurlbut and Sarah Switzer, the most charming and fearsome duo since Remington Steele; Michael Hogan, for his understanding “Cheer up, Charlie.”

  The twenty-second floor was an amazing place to work, thanks in no small part to Marnie Hanel, Dana Brown, Darryl Brantley, Dina Deshan, Dori Amarito, Peter Newcomb, Jessica Flint, Abby Field, Matt Pressman, Julian Sancton, Jon Kelly, Ron Beiner, Chris Israel, and Rhoda Boone.

  To David Kuhn, for whom I have great affection. Calling you an “agent” is like calling Lenin a “Marxist.” If you are not the best, I am terrified to know who is. Thank you.

  This book would be read very differently, or not at all, without the deft editing of Mitzi Angel at FSG and the keen eye of Denise Oswald—not sure what I did to deserve you.

  To the indispensable Billy Kingsland and the incomparable Chantal Clarke—my hat goes off to both of you. Same to Jessi Cimafonte and Jessica Ferri. And to Kate Pastorek, whose research was key.

  To those people in publishing without whom I’d be lost (even more so): Chris Bollen, Sarah Hochman, Ingrid Sischy, Nina Munk, Nathaniel Rich, Brian Coats, Carl Swanson, and Tom Wolfe.

  And to names behind the acronyms: Amy Schiffman at PGI, Tiffany Ward at CAA, and Alex Galan at DAP.

  To Simon Wilkinson and Jose Lourenco, my sometimes collaborators and stalwart supporters, for all their help and near constant mockery.

  Love and thanks to Alison Pill for letting me be shameless and a million other smaller things. And to Sarah Wilkinson (roar, poof, dragon nuzzles).

  To Henry Fletcher, Thobey Campion, Yasemin Emory, and Madeline Weeks, who all contributed in their own weird little ways; Amir and Annie, the smartest young couple I know; Sasha Suda, the Bohemian Queen of Bobst; Clara Bottoms and Laura Bickford—Lala land’s hosts with the most; Noot Seear, who put a roof over my head, my king in mate, and taught my first and best lessons in NYC.

  I would be remiss not to mention Damian Abraham, who shook me violently; Michael Fountain, who knows the correct spelling of Binscarth; Doug McGrath, who is too funny for words; Alex Cushman, Daniel, and the entire Macdonald clan; Dan Werb, Alison Lewis, Juliann Wilding, and Sarah Kennedy.

  There’s more: Angad Bhalla, John McSwain, James Lourenco, Jasmin Tuffaha, and all the residents of 2 Castle Frank.

  To the dispensers of caffeine, food, and booze, the propellant for my katyushas; Enrique and the crew at Café Condesa—the best in the West (Village); Joshua et al. at Joe’s; Sean at Rabbit Club; Harry and Dan at Max Fish.

  I have saved my most profound thanks for my family:

  My mother and father for their honesty, support, and all but common sense.

  My sister Allie for her wisdom and understanding.

  My brother, Chat, for being the single best audience on the planet.

  My sister Anouk for her inspiration.

  My favorite additives: Peter, Stephanie, Patrick, and Jodi.

  —April 7, 2009

  Index

  The index that appeared in the print version
of this title does not match the pages of your eBook. Please use the search function on your eReading device to search for terms of interest. For your reference, the terms that appear in the print index are listed below.

  academia, papers and theses with Simpsons theme

  Academy of Television Arts and Sciences see also Emmy Awards, for The Simpsons

  According to Jim

  Acme Features Syndicate

  actors, see voice talent

  Adams, Russell

  Adult Swim (Cartoon Network)

  Aerosmith, as Simpsons musical guest

  Ainsworth Elementary School, Portland, Oregon

  Alberti, John: biographical sketch compares Simpsons arc with Beatles and Rolling Stones view of Simpsons influence

  Alexander, Jason

  Alf

  Algonquin Round Table

  All in the Family

  Allen, Gracie

  Allen, Steve

  Allen, Tim

  alt.tv.simpsons

  American Dad

  America’s Most Wanted

  Amsterdam, Morey

  Ancier, Garth: biographical sketch plays in staff poker game as protégé of Barry Diller recalls Barry Diller recalls early days of Fox Broadcasting recalls how Life in Hell led to the Simpsons recalls James L. Brooks recalls origin of The Tracey Ullman Show idea recalls push to get The Simpsons onto the air recalls response to The Tracey Ullman Show role in getting The Simpsons onto the air screens Simpsons bumper episodes for Barry Diller

  Anderson, Mike

  Andrews, Paul

  Andy Griffith Show, The

  Animal House

  animation: adding color to original Simpsons line drawings cost and complexity issues Gracie Films moves The Simpsons from Klasky-Csupo to Film Roman as new world for prime-time sitcoms Simpsons scripts require new level of attention Simpsons writers insist on rewrites after completion as sitcom asset working with Asian studios

  Aniston, Jennifer

  Annie Awards

  Appel, Richard: biographical sketch recalls Bill Oakley and Josh Weinstein as showrunners recalls David Mirkin recalls death of Phil Hartman recalls George Meyer recalls process of creating jokes recalls writing room

  Apple, Gary

  Apu (Simpsons character)

  Archer, Wesley: biographical sketch as director of early Simpsons episode recalls bumper episodes of The Simpsons on The Tracey Ullman Show recalls early work on The Simpsons recalls first season recalls initial studio viewing of first Simpsons episode recalls need for animators to learn new approach recalls view of likely Simpsons tenure

  Archerd, Army

  Army Man (comedy magazine)

  Arnold, D. G.

  Arrested Development

  As Good as It Gets

  Associates, The

  Attell, Dave

  Azaria, Hank: biographical sketch compares The Simpsons with Married …with Children and contract negotiations hired for multiple Simpsons roles recalled by others recalls David Mirkin recalls Gary Busey recalls John Swartzwelder recalls Michael Jackson as Simpsons guest voice recalls Mick Jagger characters become more central after fourth season of The Simpsons view of Life in Hell view of Simpsons influence

  Baha Men

  Bai, Matt

  Baldwin, Alec

  Ball, Alan

  Ball, Lucille

  Barney (Simpsons character)

  Barrozo, Don: biographical sketch recalls early work on The Simpsons recalls initial studio viewing of first Simpsons episode recalls move from Klasky-Csupo to Film Roman

  Barry, Lynda

  Barrymore, Drew, as Simpsons guest voice

  “Bart Gets an Elephant” (episode)

  “Bart Gets an F” (episode)

  “Bart on the Road” (episode)

  “Bart the Lover” (episode)

  “Bart vs. Thanksgiving” (episode)

  “Bart’s Inner Child” (episode)

  Barthes, Roland

  Bartmania cooling off see also Simpson, Bart (Simpsons character)

  Basinger, Kim

  Baywatch: Hawaii

  Beach, The

  Beany & Cecil

  Beatles: comparison of The Simpsons to as Simpsons guest voices

  Beavis and Butt-Head

  Belson, Jerry: biographical sketch and earnings from Tracey Ullman Show and spin-offs relationship with James L. Brooks role in creating Simpsons pilot role in creating Tracey Ullman pilot

  Ben and Jerry’s

  Bennett, William

  Berg, Dave

  Berkeley course, with Simpsons theme

  Beverly Hills 90210

  “Beyond Blunderdome” (episode)

  Big

  Binky (Life in Hell character)

  Bird, Brad: biographical sketch digitally animated films recalls Bush’s 1992 campaign remarks recalls how quick Simpson response to Bush was produced recalls Sam Simon recalls working with Asian animation studios view of Simpsons influence view of Simpsons writing quality view of Springfield universe of The Simpsons view that animation is not just for kids views Simpsons as unique opportunity for Fox

  black Bart

  Blair, Tony, as Simpsons guest voice

  “Blood Feud” (episode)

  Bluth, Michael

  Bochco, Steven

  Bolton, Michael

  Bono, as Simpsons musical guest

  Borowitz, Andy

  Bottle Rocket

  Brennan, Judy

  Broadcast News

  Brockman, Kent (Simpsons character)

  Brooks, Albert: biographical sketch describes being followed around by merchandisers does several Simpsons guest voices and James L. Brooks recalled by others

  Brooks, Deborah

  Brooks, Diane

  Brooks, Edward

  Brooks, James L.: awards background body of work career success childhood and contract negotiations with actors creation of The Tracey Ullman Show and crossover episode between The Simpsons and The Critic description desire that The Simpsons characters showcase real emotions early career as executive as filmmaker first meets with Matt Groening as model for Mr. Burns moves from TV to movies and question of The Simpsons authorship reaction to initial studio viewing of first Simpsons episode recalled by others recalls Simpsons bumper episodes relationship with Barry Diller relationship with Fox relationship with Jerry Belson relationship with Matt Groening relationship with Richard Sakai relationship with Sam Simon request for blood role in getting The Simpsons onto the air and sharing of earnings percentages and The Simpsons Movie view of Emmy Awards

  “Brother, Can You Spare Two Dimes?” (episode)

  Brown, M. K.

  Buchanan, Pat

  Buckley, William F.

  Buckman, Adam

  Bugs Bunny

  Burch, Jacob: biographical sketch cites web discussion on year-to-year quality of The Simpsons as website administrator

  Burger King

  Burns, Allan

  Burns, Charles Montgomery, see Burns, Mr. (Simpsons character)

  Burns, J. Stewart

  Burns, Mr. (Simpsons character)

  Burton, Tim

  Busey, Gary, as Simpsons guest voice

  Bush, Barbara

  Bush, George H.

  Bush, George H. W.

  Butterfingers

  Butterworth, Kent: biographical sketch as director of first Simpsons series episode employment on The Simpsons ends

  Byrne, David

  Camden, Annie

  Candid Camera

  Capital Critters

  Caplan, Deborah, see Groening, Deborah

  Cargill, Russ (Simpsons character)

  Carrey, Jim

  Carrington, Michael: as actor for Simpsons black character voices biographical sketch recalls fellow writers recalls George Meyer

  Carson, Johnny as Simpsons guest voice

  Cartoon Network Adult Swim

  Cartwright, Nancy: biographical sketch and contract negotiations and Scientology as voice of Bart
Simpson

  Cary, Donick: biographical sketch recalls fellow writers recalls impact of Simpsons merchandising recalls Mike Scully recalls Yo La Tengo band view of actors’ compensation view of Homer view of Simpsons influence view of Simpsons role at Fox view of today’s Simpsons episodes views The Simpsons as dooropener

  Castellaneta, Dan: and contract negotiations given production deal with Fox improv background recalls Rolling Stones and other rock star guests viewed by Albert Brooks viewed by Colin A.B.V. Lewis as voice of Homer Simpson

  Cat on a Hot Tin Roof

  Cavanaugh, Valerie

  CBS Evening News with Walter Cronkite

  Chabon, Michael

  Chase, David

  Cheers

  Chernin, Peter

  China

  Christian right

  Chun, Danny

  Cindy

  Citizen Kane

  Clausen, Alf

  Cleaver, June

  Cletus (Simpsons character)

  Cleveland Show, The

  Clinton, Bill

  Clowes, Daniel

  Cohen, David S.

  Cohen, David X.

  Cohen, Rob: biographical sketch moves from PA to writer participates with Simpson characters in Hollywood Christmas Parade recalled by others recalls Conan O’Brien recalls George Meyer recalls John Swartzwelder recalls public reaction to The Simpsons recalls writers room sets up regular staff poker games

  Colbert Report, The

  Coleman, Gary, as Simpsons guest voice

  college course, with Simpsons theme

  Collier, John

  Colvin, Shawn

 

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