I open my mouth to protest.
"Now, Edie," she says.
I let out a breath and proceed to take off my hoodie. This is the first time I've really shown my scar to anyone. I peel it off, cringing at Carl's sharp intake of breath behind me.
"Edie," he murmured, his voice full of sympathy, "I…I didn't know…" The last time he saw it was right after Meghan's funeral. When it started spreading over my arm, I took to wearing long sleeve hoodies to hide it.
I refuse to look his way. It feels like I've let them in on a deep, dark secret, one that exposes my biggest weakness.
Aunt Tessa looks at me apprehensively. “It hasn’t spread as far as I thought it would.”
This comment catches me off guard, since I think it looks like I’m turning into a leper. Compared to Catherine Harker though, I’m the picture of perfect health.
She notices my shocked expression and offers a warm smile. “Still not great, though.”
I open my mouth to say more, but she’s muttering the incantations to close the circle, bringing me in with her. I don’t want to interrupt her magic.
When she finishes, she adjusts her position to sit facing me. Her eyes are bright and keen and she rubs her hands to get the blood flowing in them. “Ready?”
No. “I guess.”
“If this works, Carl, it’s about to get very cold,” she warns him.
“Now, Edie,” she says, focusing solely on me. “I want you to get into the same mindset you had last night.”
I nod, mystified. “Okay…”
Meghan had appeared to me when I was trying to clean up the mess. I wasn’t thinking about anything, really, so it must have been my clear head.
I try blocking out all thoughts, except this little niggling in the back of my mind keeps warning me that this won’t work.
Aunt Tessa places her palms on either side of my temples. “Okay, Edie, I want you to close your eyes.”
I comply, shuttering the world from me.
“Now count back from ten.”
In my mind, I start counting while Aunt Tessa starts her recitation.
10…
9…
“I, Tessa, follow thee, Edie across the Void.”
8…
7…
“Let us tarry awhile and see Beyond.”
6…
5…
The temperature drops and I can hear Carl’s sharp intake of breath at the change.
4…
3…
“We’re ready,” Aunt Tessa concludes, her voice now sounding far away.
2…
1…
“Open your eyes…”
I do.
And Meghan is right in front of me.
“So you’ve finally found your way to me, Edie,” she says.
She’s smiling at me, although it’s sad, one of the ones I’m familiar with. It’s the kind of smile that we shared when we would reminisce about our dad. The one that we had when we lost our first cat. Unfortunately, we’ve had to smile that way quite a few times in our lives, or not smile at all.
“What are you doing here?” I ask her, a note of accusation in my voice.
She looks amused at my reaction. “You’re the one who came to me.”
I take stock around us.
We’re alone in a space by ourselves. It’s bright around us, though not blindingly so, and I don’t have to shield my eyes to see anything. It’s white and colorful all at the same time. We’re sitting on a bench, one that I recognize from childhood. It was in our backyard when we were kids, a wrought-iron one that was handed down from our grandmother. Meghan is wearing a simple maxi dress, and I’m still dressed in my tank top and jeans.
It’s like she never died.
“I guess we’re not in Kansas anymore…”
Meghan smirks. “Kansas? No. Austin? Somewhat.” At my confused look, she laughs. “You’re in a trance in the physical world, but you’re here in the Void with me.”
I’m more overwhelmed than anything else. I want to tell her everything, tell her that I’m sorry.
“Don’t act so surprised,” Meghan says. “You always discredited your own abilities.”
“Being the Harker was supposed to be your thing.”
“Yes. Then again, we never could control our own destinies, could we?” She sighs and leans back. “We’re at the mercy of Fate.”
“I miss you,” I blurt.
“I miss you, too. You’re doing fabulously in my place though.”
“No…” No I’m not. No one can ever take your place. Graeme needs you. Amelia needs you. I need you.
I don’t say it aloud, but Meghan knows what I’m thinking. Just like she always did.
“I wish I could be there,” she says, putting an arm around me. She feels too cold, like she is really dead. But for a moment, it is as if she never left and we’re two kids again. She even smells like she used to. This is what I was missing in my life. I needed her when I was younger, I need her now. “I left you in such a bad state.”
She nods at my scar. I try to cover it, although there’s no way that I can hide it with my tank top. For never showing anyone how far the scar has spread, I feel exposed now that three people have seen it.
“It’s better than what happened to you,” I say guiltily.
Meghan’s face darkens. “Don’t blame yourself for that. Don’t ever blame yourself. We had no control over what happened.”
I suck in a deep breath and tears prick at the corners of my eyes. This is what I wanted, the chance to apologize for my inability to save her life. I didn’t think I’d ever get it.
“I’m sorry.”
After a long pause Meghan replies, “It’s not your fault, Edie.”
I rub my face with my hands, emotions bubbling over, threatening to take control. “I’m trying to take care of everything before I…join you… For Amelia.”
If I kill Anthony, there wouldn’t be immediate danger for my niece. She could grow older at least. It kills me to think that I won’t be there to protect her in the future. Amelia is young, innocent. And unlike my childhood, I want her to live free of this darkness that’s been swirling like a miasma around my life. I’ve already been failing her.
“You never did take the possibility of a cure seriously, did you?” Meghan asks, breaking into my thoughts.
“What?”
She gives me an enigmatic smile. “Seek out the Progenitor,” she says cryptically.
I let her words sink in. I know I’m in some sort of alternate plane, but at the moment, I find it hard to suspend my disbelief.
“The Progenitor?” I ask skeptically. “A legend?”
“You really think he’s a legend?”
We’ve both heard about the Progenitor since we were little girls. He's like the Boogeyman, a figment of the dark that was used to scare us into listening to our mother. Be good or else the Progenitor will come and get you, or Go to sleep so you can fight the Progenitor. Meghan used to terrify me with pranks of him.
“The father of all vampires,” I say evenly, making sure that we’re both on the same page. “The guy that has been alive for a million years. The original vampire. We’re talking about the same guy?”
The Progenitor has even popped up a few times during Aunt Tessa's research. Across the many tomes and volumes of the Harker literature, there is a lot of speculation about him, but no evidence to support that he actually exists.
Maybe Meghan’s been dead too long and it’s going to her head.
“Find him,” my sister says. She leans in to me, her hazel eyes darkening and it feels like she’s looking deep into my soul. “Find him at all costs.”
“Meghan, I—”
She sits bolt upright, her eyes wild. “Someone’s here.”
A beat passes and she turns back to me. “Edie, listen to me,” she says desperately. “Don’t trust them. Promise me.”
“Meghan, I…I—”
“Promise me,” she insists. “Before—”
I blink. In one instant I’m in the Void, and in the next, I’m back in Austin at the altar, where Aunt Tessa’s hands are still on either side of my temples.
I wheeze out a shallow breath, a burst of white cloud coming from my mouth. It’s freezing in this room. It had been air conditioned only a few minutes ago, and now the heater is on, and I can feel the cold shedding off me like flakes of ice.
I fall backwards and catch myself on my hands. Even the hardwood floors are frosty. Aunt Tessa sucks in air as she shakes off the cold. Her skin is almost blue from the cold, and she’s watching me with wide eyes.
“Holy shit,” Carl gasps. “That really happened.” He’s rubbing his own goose-fleshed arms, trying to rub life back into them. He looks like he’s seen a ghost.
“That,” my aunt says at length, “is how you can go into a trance and visit the Void. Which you did beautifully.” She offers me a smile, which I don’t know how she’s able to do, seeing as my cheeks are frozen. “You’re getting so much stronger.”
“Edie,” Carl says, his voice nearly strangled, “it was like you were dead. In a freezer.”
I blink away tears that I can’t seem to stop. My encounter with Meghan has left me shaken. “How long was I out?”
He checks his phone. “Three minutes.”
It felt so much longer. The crack of a headache fires off like lightning, and I hold my head in my hands. The light from the candles is enough to make me squint. It feels like a migraine came out of nowhere.
“Ow.”
“That may be a side effect of your trance,” Tessa explains gently. “The headaches.”
“You could have warned me.” All I want to do is lay down and sleep this off.
“Sorry, hun.”
“Meghan didn’t mention it either.”
She grins and gets to her feet. “So you did see Meghan. That’s exactly what we wanted.”
“Yeah.” I take her proffered hand and she helps me up, which only serves to make black spots streak across my vision. The memory of my encounter with her already feels like it’s fading from my mind. “She said that I need to find the Progenitor.”
“What?” Carl screeches. “The Progenitor?”
“Yes. I made sure that I heard her right.”
“Impossible,” Aunt Tessa says dismissively. “He’s a myth. There’s no evidence that he ever existed.”
“Meghan sure seemed to think he was alive. And she mentioned something about a cure.”
There’s a shocked silence.
“A cure?” Carl breathes.
Yeah, I don’t believe it either. Another flash of pain splits my head and I groan. “Ugh, hurts so much.”
“Go nap in the guest room,” my aunt commands. “Sleep it off.”
I nod, which only makes it hurt worse. “Okay.”
Aunt Tessa turns back to her candles, mutters the incantation to open the circle, and guides me out of the room.
“Are you okay, Edie?” Carl asks, putting a hand on my bare left arm to help me. I’m too spent to even protest the touch. Usually I wouldn’t want anyone to touch the scar. It feels like I’m infecting them with some unseen pathogen, even though there’s no way for me to actually spread this disease.
“Yeah. She told me to trust no one.”
“What, she thinks there’s a mole or something?”
My heart sinks as I consider the horrible feeling that she could possibly be meaning Jude. After all, what reason does he really have to help me if not to get close to me? I trust him. I think. I can’t let it cloud my judgment.
I don’t say so out loud, because Tessa’s right here, and while Carl may know about his existence, I don’t want too many people knowing about the amnesiac vampire. It feels like I’m a dirty cop with a crush on a criminal.
Carl knows exactly what I’m thinking and meets my eyes. I give him a slight shake of my head to tell him not to mention it. The good thing about my younger cousin is that he knows when to abandon a topic. He buttons up, and follows me to the guest room. I blindly collapse on the bed, barely able to hold myself up. Then I remember there’s something else I need to do: check with some vampires that the Progenitor is real. I know the best place to start, and the best person to do it with.
“Can you get my phone?” I ask Carl. “It’s in my purse in the living room.”
He chuckles. “I’m not your—”
“Now, Carl. Please?”
He disappears from the doorway, leaving me alone in the room. It feels like he’s taking so long I begin to suspect that he’s angry at me. Then he comes back with my phone in hand.
“What do you want to do?”
I squint at him, unsure if I’d even be able to look at screen at the moment. Any sort of light is making my eyes feel like they’re burning inside their sockets. “Send a text.”
“I’ll send it.” He doesn’t sound angry at least. “What number?”
I lick my dried lips. “Uh…it’s the last text message.”
“Jude?” He sounds too interested.
I inwardly groan. “Yeah. Send him a message that I’ll be at Twin Fangs tonight. And no, you can’t go, Carl.”
Carl pouts and starts typing in the message. I don’t feel too much sympathy, because it’s all for his own good. I know I’m overprotective of him. Although Carl is in a better position than Amelia, since he’s not next in line to be the Harker, I still want to take care of him.
“Sorry, Carl. I know you want to see him, but having one hunter in a vampire bar is already dangerous.”
“Dangerous for you too.”
“I laugh in the face of danger, haha ha ha,” I deadpan.
“Message sent,” Carl announces, putting the phone down.
“Thanks. Sorry,” I say again, feeling guilty. Carl really wants to be a part of the vampire hunting world, yet I don’t want him to get caught in the crossfire. He’s been on a few hunts with me, either as my weapons-carrier or as a back-up, but he’s still not ready. His mom really wanted him to live a peaceful life, and, well, you don’t get one of those when you’re around me. “Next time. When I know more of what we’re up against.”
“It’s all right.” Carl turns to leave. “Do you want me to wake you up for dinner?”
I smile at him. “Please.”
He shuts the door behind him, and I close my eyes in the dark room. I’m not sure it is because I have a bad headache or I didn’t get much sleep the night before, but I fall instantly asleep.
10
Jude
I don’t really tuck myself in for sleep during the day, but I am lying down in my haven and about to pull the covers up over me when I get a text from Edie. I have to read it a few times to really get what it means.
“What the fuck?”
Meet me at Twin Fangs tonite. Wear something cute.
This doesn’t sound like Edie at all. At first, panic overcomes me, and I wonder if she’s being held captive and whoever is doing this is trying to lure me into some sort of trap. Surely they don’t know my feelings. I’ve been careful to keep myself and my digging separate from being associated with the Harker.
Then I calm down and realize that it’s just what it is—a joke. Edie never writes anything like that, so it has to be tongue-in-cheek. Plus, she’d never say “tonite”. She always makes sure to use correct grammar and punctuation. On the contrary, I don’t do that at all because I know it gets her riled up. I learned five months ago that a riled up Edie is still better than the despondent one she can be whenever she gets pulled into the throes of her depression.
Maybe she’s forgiven me for trying to glamour her last night and this is a peace offering. I know it’s too good to be true…but I still hope.
Twin Fangs is an interesting choice. She wouldn’t go to vampire bars unless she has a specific purpose in mind.
I briefly debate telling her that I want to meet somewhere else, and decide against it. Twin Fangs is as good as any to start. I still can’t help the hopeful tremor
in my hands as I type in my response.
ill find u
It’s a reply that I would have sent in any case. So if it is Edie making a joke, I’m still playing around. And in the unlikely event that it’s someone who has her phone and is trying to get a rise out of me, well…
I make the decision to arrive on Sixth Street early to stake out the place at nightfall. I have only a few hours left. I need to rest and be fully energized and awake in case the shit hits the fan tonight.
They say that vampires don’t dream. Yet as I lie in my bed with the hurricane shutters pulled tight over the windows, I have the vision of her in my head and the scent of her still filling my senses.
Then I remember what I am, that nothing can ever come of it. I want something that I can never have because I’m a thing that I hate, from a time that I can’t remember.
It will never work out. I’m such a hopeless, lovesick fool.
11
Edie
I had horrible nightmares about Amelia betraying me and stabbing me in the back. I woke up with tears in my eyes.
There’s a single text message from Jude’s new phone number that I see on my way to the spaghetti squash dinner that Aunt Tessa made.
ill find u
I scowl at the text and then see the original message that Carl had sent.
“Carl!” I yell, feeling the blush in my cheeks. “Carl, goddammit!”
His head pops in the doorway of the kitchen area with a big, mischievous grin. He cackles. “You’re never going to ask me to send a text for you again, now are you?”
“Carl…”
“Hey, be thankful. I could have said what you really wanted to say.”
I glare at him and decide not to send an apology message back, because it would be overcomplicating it. I still didn’t know what to make of Jude. Mike was easy to understand, simple, safe. Jude was…something else entirely, something my emotions didn’t know how to process.
“Dinner,” Aunt Tessa calls from the dining room.
Begrudgingly, I sit down across the table from Carl.
“Are you going to take me with you tonight?” he asks.
“No.”
Legends of the Damned: A Collection of Edgy Urban Fantasy and Paranormal Romance Novels Page 28