Lilia didn’t have a great deal but what she had accumulated for herself was handy. I took some cans of food, a blanket, and some soap. I would have to wash the blanket over and over again before it stopped smelling of her. I couldn’t have that reminder.
I just couldn’t.
I gathered up the items and stuck them in my bag with the rest of my food. I would have enough supplies for a little longer now. Thanks to the dead girl.
“What do you think killed her?” Oliver’s voice frightened me in the small space. I was too lost in my own thoughts.
“She didn’t have any marks on her body,” I replied, remembering when I had bathed her. Her poor little body. “She had a few bruises, but they were starting to heal.”
“It could have been natural causes. Starvation, malnutrition.”
“Or loneliness.”
“Ev, it’s not your fault. You can’t blame yourself for this.”
Except I did. And I would continue to do so. I shrugged, ending the conversation. The only consolation I could take was the fact Lilia didn’t die violently. Alone, cold, scared, yes. But not at someone else’s hand.
We left and stood in the street outside. I needed to breathe deeply to refill my lungs. I wasn’t going to cry anymore, it was pointless. If I told myself that enough, it usually worked. After all, it was just one dead girl. Out of all that had already died, what was one more?
I knew the answer. It was because of my sister. I had to find her, I just had to. I hadn’t seen her as a spirit child, not even when I had seen so many others. She had to be out there somewhere.
“So, back to the house?” Oliver asked. He had been so patient and perfect with me all day. If he wasn’t here, I would still be a mess on the floor, hunched over with nothing to go on for.
The thought of being at my house on the hill suddenly didn’t seem as attractive as it did. Would I suffer the same fate as Lilia? How long would it be for someone to discover my decomposing corpse? It wasn’t like the forty-three ghosts that lived there with me would be able to dispose of my body. They probably wouldn’t even notice I had stopped listening to them.
Or perhaps someone would find me.
Taz and Jet and all those boys could track me down. They had asked me where I lived. Even though I tried to be vague, they could piece it together. They could find me.
Would they have any more mercy for me if they found me again? I somehow doubted they would. My death would probably be long and drawn out, made to suffer for embarrassing them by escaping the first time. They wouldn’t risk it a second time.
“I don’t know where to go,” I admitted.
“You could stay.”
“For what? There’s nothing here for me anymore.”
Oliver shifted his weight between his feet, summoning up the courage to say what he wanted to. I wished he would just spit it out. I knew I wouldn’t like it.
“Well?” I prompted.
“You could stay and help,” he finally said. How many times did we need to have that conversation? I was no closer to understanding how I could be of help to a broken city. I was just one girl.
And I was just as broken.
I threw up my hands in frustration. I felt like I was on the verge of insanity with nothing making sense. I was so close to tipping over the edge that I could see the fall. “How could I possibly help? Tell me specifically what I can do. Please, Oliver, because I’m totally lost here.”
If he was affected by my outburst, he didn’t let it show. Cool and collected, that was Oliver. He was a good guy to have around in an emergency. “You could be more aware. Open up your mind to the spirits and listen to them. They have knowledge that we need.”
“They say nothing but garbage. It’s just chatter, it doesn’t mean anything.”
“But are you really listening?”
What the hell was he talking about? I had ears, of course I was listening to the ghosts. It was all I could do to not listen to them sometimes. It was harder keeping them out than letting them in.
I turned around and started walking. I didn’t know where I was going and I didn’t care either. Let Taz find me, he could do his worst.
“Where are you going?” Oliver called out.
I didn’t turn around to answer him. “I need some time alone. I have to think.”
“Be careful.”
No amount of carefulness would be good enough in the city. I thought I was careful before Jet’s boys took me. Now I knew there was nowhere to hide from them.
Oliver let me go and every step I took led me further away from him. He had no right telling me what to do. He had no idea what the spirits were like. He couldn’t. He had to be only guessing, grasping at straws like everyone else still hanging onto a spark of hope in the city.
There was no destination to my walk so I didn’t know when I would get there. Darkness was still a long time away, I could walk for hours before I needed to find somewhere for the night. At least that was a small mercy.
I stomped until my feet hurt and I couldn’t walk any further. I looked around at my surroundings. I was in a residential neighborhood. A few kids were sitting on the curb, some clutching onto the small railings up to the apartment buildings.
All were filthy.
All were hopeless.
It was as safe a place as any. I sat on the bottom of three stairs that led to a red front door. It was hanging on its hinges, it wouldn’t last long before it would fall off completely.
Oliver’s words were still ringing in my ears.
Open your mind to the spirits.
It was useless. The voices spoke of nothing but nonsense that didn’t mean anything. I should know, having listened to forty-three of them for endless months in my house on the hill. If they had something important to say, surely I would have heard it in that time.
The only spirit I had truly engaged with was Agatha. I wondered what she was doing, whether she was still in the house and awaiting my return. I never thought I would, but I missed her. She always knew the right thing to say, offering some comforting words that I needed to hear.
I really needed some comforting words right now.
But I wasn’t going to rely on other people for those. I was stronger than that. I didn’t need anyone. Not Agatha and not Oliver. I had survived for over a year after the Event when so many had perished.
I could do it.
I opened my mind.
Instead of pushing away the voices and desperately trying not to see the spirits, I let them in. They rushed at me. Like opening a floodgate in a deluge of rain, they came. One after the other, the voices encroached into my consciousness.
At first it was just a din of noise. When I blinked my eyes, there were hundreds of them. I could no longer see the buildings across the street. The filthy kids were blocked out. All I could see were spirits as they jostled to get to me.
And they all spoke at once.
“Tell me they’re okay.”
“Find her.”
“It hurts so terribly.”
“I can’t see the light.”
“It’s gone, it’s just all gone.”
“You have to help.”
“They’re in danger.”
“We’re in danger.”
They went around and around like horses on a carousel. The voices drifted over me, assaulting my senses. They soon felt like a wall closing in on me. I couldn’t breathe, I couldn’t think. I no longer existed, only the voices of those experiencing so much pain. I would rather have died myself than suffer along with them.
“Stop!” I yelled, covering my ears. “I will listen to you, but you have to take it one at a time. Please.”
They stopped.
But only for a moment.
It started again. Their voices were merely a loud wave of sound, inescapable. If I continued to sit here, I would go insane. They would drown me before I had a chance to breathe again.
That was exactly what I had wanted to explain to Oliver. I wante
d to tell him how difficult it was, make him understand it wasn’t easy like he thought it was. But I hadn’t been able to find my voice then, I had been too stubborn to explain.
I cradled my ears in my hands and stood up. I had to get away from them. I had tried and failed, my own belief that I couldn’t do it had been confirmed. There were too many of them, the hurt too great. There was nothing I could do for the spirits.
Trying to get around them was impossible. I had to walk right through them, feeling the cold as it shivered down my spine. They didn’t feel pain when I walked through their transparent bodies. It was like walking through a waterfall when going through one. Yet hundreds were like drowning in a frozen lake.
I made it to the road and turned. I got only a few feet before stopping. She was there. Standing with the rest of them. Looking at me with her haunted eyes.
Lilia.
A shiver ran through my body that had nothing to do with the spirits. Images of her lifeless body, the way I had found her, washed her, buried her.
I hurried over and crouched down until we were at eye level. “Lilia, I’m so sorry.”
The spirits surrounding me hushed so the little girl could be heard. I expected anger at leaving her alone, her sorrow at dying at such a tender age, anything than what she actually gave me.
“It’s okay, Everly.”
“No, it’s not,” I argued. “I shouldn’t have left you. I’m so, so sorry for that. I should have helped you.”
“You did. You buried me, I saw it. I’m happy now, it’s better this way.” She smiled, that same beautiful innocent grin she had shown me when we first met. “I’m not hungry anymore.”
I wanted to hug her but she had no physical body that I would be able to touch. My arms would just go through her, feeling the shudder of the cold. “What can I do for you now? How can I help you?”
“You can help everyone. There is so much darkness, Everly, it frightens me. We need to return the light.” Lilia whispered the last few words.
“I don’t know how,” I admitted.
“Yes, you do. Inside, you know. The man said so.” She smiled once more before stepping back into the spirits and disappearing in front of my eyes. It was like losing her all over again.
Everyone seemed to have severely overestimated my abilities. I didn’t know what to do. First Oliver and now Lilia. I knew how to go to school, I knew how to get my homework done, I knew how to terrorize my sister and annoy her. I didn’t know how to bring light back to the dark.
But I needed to start figuring it out.
Chapter Eight
I stood in the street, my eyes glancing at each of the faces surrounding me but not resting on any one in particular. If I did, the voices would start again. They had been silent while I spoke with Lilia, as if in some way understanding she had something important to say.
It wouldn’t be long before they started again.
I picked one man, the one closest to me. Our eyes met amongst everyone else. “What is your name?” I asked.
“David. My name is David,” he replied. He was in his late forties, early fifties at the latest. He was dressed in a robe, probably what he died in. I wasn’t sure how the spirits dressed or why some still bore the marks of their injuries. It seemed completely random how they appeared – a code I hadn’t yet deciphered.
“What do you want to say, David?” The rest were all remaining silent while we spoke, just like they had with Lilia. The ghosts at my house hadn’t been like that. I could have yelled at any of them and they never shut up.
A moment of hesitation crossed the spirit’s face before he spoke again. “My children, they are on opposite sides of the city. They don’t know one another is still alive. Please, you have to bring them together. You have to.”
He was dead, and his final message was to get his kids back together? It was hardly earth shattering. But, to him, I guessed it was important. The Event had ripped so many families apart, bringing them together again was difficult.
I should know, considering I was missing my sister.
“Do you know exactly where they are?” I asked, ascertaining how much time and effort his errand would require. He nodded. “Can you take me to them?”
“I can.”
Lilia suddenly appeared at his side. “Go with him, Everly.”
Looking around at the faces, everyone was nodding with encouragement. It was two hundred against one. Apparently I was going to be schlepping around the city for David’s kids.
“Fine. Let’s go,” I sighed.
The spirits made a path while David led the way through them. They remained there, thankfully not following us. If they all had to come, I wasn’t sure if I’d make it.
David didn’t say much on the journey across the city. His only words were directions about corners to turn and his constant reassurance that it wouldn’t be too much further. I started to have my doubts after three hours of walking.
David was a liar.
It took four hours after his first ‘not much further’ to arrive at his son’s shelter. By that stage, every time he said it, I wanted to punch him in the face. If he had a physical body, I might have truly considered it.
“His name is Michael, he’s inside,” David said as we stood on the stoop of a tiny house. Half the roof was caved in but most of it looked habitable.
I nodded and knocked, not wanting to alert the occupants to my insanity of seemingly talking to myself. I strained to hear for any sound inside the house but heard nothing.
When the door swung open, it gave me a heart attack.
“What do you want?” A teenage boy, sixteen years old according to David, greeted me with the barrel of a shotgun. His father was disapproving beside me.
“Are you Michael?”
“Who wants to know?” Did he have to answer each of my questions with one of his own?
“My name is Everly. I know where your sister is.”
Those words faltered him, made him do a double take as the words sunk in. All the bravado drained from his young face. “You do?” His voice cracked as he spoke. Obviously finding his sister was just as important to Michael as it was David.
“I do,” I confirmed.
“You’re lying. This is all a trick. My sister is gone, I’m never going to find her.” It was going to be harder than I thought to convince him. Served me right for thinking it would be easy.
Nothing was easy anymore.
“I’m not lying. If you come with me, I’ll take you to her.”
“I’m not going anywhere with you.” He slammed the door in my face. The breeze made the hair around my face rustle.
I looked up at David, he was at least a good foot taller than I was. “Any ideas?”
“He wasn’t like this before,” he replied as if it was an apology. Nobody was like this before. There wasn’t one person untouched and unchanged by the Event. It was very rare to find someone that had changed for the better. With so much struggle and loss, nobody coped well with it.
Myself included.
“So what can you tell me to convince him to come with me?” I asked. If anyone knew of a way, it had to be Michael’s father. He should know him better than most people.
“Can you tell him I’m here?”
I shook my head. “He’ll think I’m crazy. If he doesn’t already. I am standing here talking to myself.”
David thought it over, he cradled his chin as he did. I got the feeling he did that a lot when he was still alive. People didn’t lose who they were after they died. They just became spirits, their physical bodies gone but they were essentially exactly the same.
“His sister’s name is Kelly, she has dark brown hair, and her favorite food is pizza. Maybe if you tell him that, he’ll believe that you know her,” David finally replied.
It was worth a shot. I knocked again. Michael didn’t answer.
I called out through the door. “Michael, your sister’s name is Kelly. She loves pizza and she’s got dark brown hair
. I know her, I’ve spent time with her. She’s safe and well on the other side of the city.”
Nothing.
Either he was gone or he wasn’t listening to me any longer. The poor guy. I knew what it was like to trust no-one. I didn’t trust anyone myself apart from Oliver.
Oliver.
He was probably fretting about where I was. It was going to be dark before too long, then the panic would really start. I hoped he would find somewhere safe to stay and not worry about me. I could look after myself.
“He’s not going to come with me,” I said.
“Just wait,” David urged.
I did wait. I waited for what seemed like forever. I even sat on the step to rest. David disappeared through the wall, going to check on his son. He probably did that a lot since the event, splitting his time between both of his children.
I finally understood the frustration of the spirits. They didn’t have anywhere to go except to linger on earth with their unfinished business. They couldn’t speak with those they loved anymore, couldn’t be a part of their lives. Yet they would still be able to see their loved ones. It was a one sided affair that would have been horrible.
I got it.
I got why they were so eager for me to listen to them, hear what they had to say. I was the only one who could. After over a year of their words falling on deaf ears, I could hear them.
David’s return pulled me from my reverie. “Try again. He’s on the other side of the door, he wants to believe you. Tell him Kelly has his scarf, the blue one with stars on it.”
I stood up again, getting as close to the door as I dared. “Michael, you have to believe me. Kelly has your scarf, the blue one that has stars on it. She’s still got it, she’s still waiting to see you again.”
“You’re lying,” he replied, sounding more like a whimper than actual words.
“I’m not. Come with me and I’ll take you to her.”
“Why would you do that? What’s in it for you?” That was the million dollar question. Nobody did anything out of the goodness of their hearts anymore. Those times were long gone.
Legends of the Damned: A Collection of Edgy Urban Fantasy and Paranormal Romance Novels Page 281