by Kira Saito
“I don’t know. I don’t know.” Her tears continued to flow. “Lucus, he hasn’t even kissed me yet. For the past three weeks, I’ve been trying, but nothing.”
“I thought you already had sex with him.” I wanted her to admit that she had been lying.
“I lied. I only said that so I thought you would stay away. I really like Lucus. I know I’m in love with him, but I just lost my self-confidence. Ivan, he’s been constantly flirting with me ever since I got here, and I figured that if I slept with him, it would make me feel better, but I was wrong. I feel awful. Please Arelia, don’t tell Lucus what you saw, I’ll probably lose any chance that I have with him. Obviously he’s a bit traditional.”
“Look Sabrina, I can understand why you may have been jealous over Lucus, but what you said about me being a freak was super bitchy and I don’t think I can get past that.”
Sabrina wrapped her arms around me. “I was scared,” she whispered. “I’m not as brave or smart as you, but I promise from this day on I’ll be there for you no matter what,” she vowed.
“I’m scared too,” I admitted. “I don’t get any of this stuff. Anyways, you really need to stop hooking up with every guy that smiles at you.”
“I know,” she moaned. “I would never go out with a waiter much less marry one, I have to keep my eyes on the prize which is Lucus.” All of a sudden, her tears stopped, and she eyed me intently. “I wouldn’t want you to change Arelia. You’re my best friend, and you’re perfect just the way you are, and when you smile the whole world stops and stares for a while.”
“Hey, that’s a Bruno Mars song.”
“You caught me. You know I’m not great with words. I missed you, where have you been going off to every day at seven am? Did you meet someone?”
“No, I’ve been meeting Ms. Mae. I’ve been learning stuff.” I didn’t know if I could tell her exactly what kind of stuff just yet and what had happened. It was all too surreal. The wounds were still raw.
“What kind of stuff? Tell me, I won’t freak out or anything. I think I know.”
“Really, what do you know?”
“You’ve been learning how to develop your witch powers.”
“The technical term is voodoo queen, but yeah, I’m pretty much learning how to be a full-fledged queen or at least I was. I’m not anymore, not here anyways. Are you going to call me a freak again?”
“No, are you kidding, do you know how awesome it is having a best friend who is a voodoo queen. Think of all the possibilities.” Sabrina’s eyes got a faraway look, she was probably thinking of ways she could get me to put a love spell on Lucus. “So, you’re not going to tell Lucus?”
“Sabrina listen to me, it’s not my place to tell Lucus, but as your best friend, you need to believe me when I say that you need to stay away from him. There are things that you don’t know about him.”
“Like what?” Her eyes got large with anticipation.
“I can’t explain. I’m leaving Darkwood tomorrow, and I think that you should come with me.”
“Come with you, are you insane?”
“No, I’m serious. This place is creepy, and we don’t belong here.”
From the cynical expression on Sabrina’s face, I knew that this was going to lead to another battle. “How can you say that when you’re the one learning voodoo? You can’t just say that this place is creepy and expect me to leave. I can’t leave yet. I haven’t had enough time with Lucus,” she protested.
“I’m sure Lucus is great and all, but there are plenty of other guys.”
“Not like him,” she maintained. “If you leave, I’m still going to stay.”
“For once can you please just believe me, and not pick Lucus over me? We just made up. I don’t want another fight.”
“You know that I love you, but I don’t have to leave. We don’t have to be joined at the hip 24/7, you know. I’m not picking him over you. It shouldn’t have to be like that.”
“It’s not about that. This place is dangerous, that’s all,” I wanted to tell her the truth about Lucus, but how could I? She was infatuated with him, so there was no way she was going to believe me. A few weeks ago, I wouldn’t have believed me either. I guess it didn’t matter whether Sabrina stayed or not, they wanted me, not her. Besides, I knew that Ms. Mae wouldn’t let Sabrina be harmed if she ever wanted me to consider helping Lucus.
“It’s okay if you go. I’ll give you my paycheck,” Sabrina offered nobly.
“You know I won’t take it. It’s your choice if you want to stay, but I’m leaving first thing in the morning.”
“What’s with the drama, what happened?” For the first time in a long time, Sabrina looked genuinely worried. I hadn’t seen much of that side of her since we’d left home.
“It’s nothing. I just don’t feel right working here anymore. I don’t feel safe.”
“Oh please, the most dangerous thing here is Mr. Dumpty, and that’s only when he has too much gumbo, and slams back the hurricanes. I know you’re hiding something,” Sabrina pressed on.
“I don’t feel like talking about it.” I wanted to forget everything about Darkwood and return home to Grand-mere Bea.
“I know what will make you feel better.” Sabrina walked over to the bed and pulled out a box of chocolates from under her pillow. They were the chocolates Lucus had given me. “I was tempted to eat all of the boxes, but I kept this one for us. I figured it would be a great way to kiss and makeup.”
“You’ve been holding out on me.” I grabbed the chocolates out of her hand and tore open the box. I didn’t care even if they were from Lucus. Chocolate was chocolate, and in situations like these, it didn’t matter where it came from. Sabrina and I plopped ourselves down on the bed and rehashed the details of our lost time while inhaling down the chocolates. I had my sister back.
Chapter 18
Mud fight
After Sabrina and I had finished devouring the box of chocolates, she claimed that she had a headache and couldn’t help with dinner. So I went downstairs alone and prepared myself to say goodbye to the guests. Over the past few weeks, I had actually grown attached to them, especially Ben who I thought of as a chubby little brother.
“Arelia, where did you go?” Ben came running up to me, his face was smeared with chocolate ice cream. “My mask is almost dry!”
“Awesome, you have to show it to me later.” I gave him a tight hug.
“What was that for?” he asked when I finally released him.
“Nothing, I just want to let you know how special you are.” I figured that if his parents didn’t tell him enough someone ought to.
“You’re acting weird today.” He gave me a skeptical glance. “I’m gonna have some more ice cream. Would you like some?”
“No thanks Ben, I need to go help with dinner. You shouldn’t be stuffing yourself with ice cream right now anyways.”
He stuck out his tongue as he walked away obviously displeased with my opinion on his ice cream consumption.
The kitchen smelled heavenly as usual. The food was probably the thing I was going to miss most about Darkwood. It was going to be pretty hard going back to Hamburger Helper and Spam, but the honeymoon couldn’t last forever. “Hey Pierre what’s for dinner?” I asked the plump chef.
“Grilled shrimp with black bean cakes and coriander sauce to start. The main dish is chorizo-stuffed rabbit roulade and panéed leg, toasted angel hair, escarole, with sherry garlic sauce.” He recited the menu without taking his eyes off of the stove. “The guests need to be seated in exactly twenty minutes.”
“Sounds yummy,” I could feel drool slipping down the corner of my mouth. “I’ll go get the guests.” I found the guests sipping pre-dinner cocktails on the porch. Surprisingly, the rain had stopped an hour ago, and the sun had come out in full force.
“Arelia!” Mrs. Scott rushed up to me almost out of breath. “This can’t be legal, can it?” she asked as she held up a glass of New Orleans fizz.
“I
t’s completely legal, and you should be enjoying it, you’re on vacation,” I reminded her.
“It’s absolutely sinful!” She took another sip of the creamy cocktail.
As I was talking to Mrs. Scott, I saw him. My eyes rested on his broad shoulders, unwilling to make eye contact. Suddenly, I couldn’t breathe. Even though, I was outside and there was plenty of fresh air, I simply could not let out another breath. The chatter of the guests disappeared and in that second it felt as if the only two people on the planet were Lucus and I. I could feel his eyes on me, begging me to look into them. I couldn’t do that, I couldn’t allow myself to be hurt any more than I was. I didn’t want his clarifications, or excuses. He had only been nice to me for his own purposes. I needed to get out of there. When I finally managed to exhale, I excused myself and advised the guests that dinner would be ready in twenty minutes.
I ran into the kitchen and let myself into the tiny garden. For some reason, the smell of chrysanthemums always calmed me down. I bent over and smelled them. They reminded me of Grand-mere Bea who always kept a flower pot full of them at home. They smelled friendly and soothing yet bizarrely melancholy. There was a bitter-sweetness about them that was consoling. I had simmered down a bit when I felt his eyes on my back. Of course, he had followed me.
“Arelia,” he spoke first. I refused to turn around or answer. I felt like a fool. I had created this thing between us in my head. It had been magical and wonderful, but now it had all fallen apart. I saw Lucus for what he really was.
A light wind blew through my hair relieving me from the punishing heat that had overthrown the rain. I felt his fingers on the nape of my neck. I didn’t want to feel what I did. I didn’t want electricity to surge through my body, but it did. I turned around to face him while taking several steps back.
“I don’t need your explanations or your apologies. Thanks for having me here for the summer even if it was just to use me. You can mail me a check for the days I did work, I also have a Paypal account, or if it’s easier for you an electronic transfer would work,” I rambled.
“Use you?” Lucus looked as if I had just thrown dirt on his impeccable white shirt. That’s exactly what I felt like doing. So I did. I grabbed some wet dirt from the ground and bitterly threw it at him. It landed with a thud against his chest, staining his white shirt. It was totally uncalled for, but it felt so good. It made him less perfect and a little less threatening.
At first, Lucus looked absolutely horrified, and I was sure he was going to walk out of the garden. However, to my surprise, he let out a deep laugh.
“Go away!” I yelled as I turned my back at him.
Before I knew it, he flung dirt right back at me.
“You jerk!” I turned around. The dirt hit my shoulder streaking my ugly uniform.
“If throwing mud at you is going to make you listen to me, then that’s just what I’ll do.”
“I don’t want to talk you to! I know everything. I know what you really are. You’ve been lying to me.” I aggressively flung some more dirt at him, it hit his right leg. “You pretended to be nice to me, to be interested in me just so I would help you!” I hysterically cried. “You and Ms. Mae invited me and Sabrina to work at Darkwood for your own purposes. You repulse me.”
He came closer. “That’s not true Arelia.”
“No, don’t come any closer or I’m going to keep throwing dirt at you.”
“You can throw all the dirt you want at me. My skin can turn dark as night, but I’m not leaving here until you allow me a chance to explain,” he pleaded. Nervously, he brushed aside the hair that had fallen over his eyes before stepping closer.
My knees buckled as he came near, I wanted more than anything to believe him. I wanted to believe that he hadn’t been using me this whole time. He hadn’t pretended to be nice to me so that I would free him from Mad Marie’s curse.
“I didn’t invite you to Darkwood. Your Aunt Mae did because she wanted to see you. She wanted to meet you again, and for you to discover your powers.”
“Sure how convenient, and you just happened to be nice to me and stalk me for no reason. All this time, you had no agenda of you own? What are you, some kind of ghost?”
“No. I’m not a ghost, I never died. I am bound to this body and to Darkwood for eternity. I can’t explain it, but sickness or death cannot touch me. At first, I took pleasure in it, but as the years crept by and I saw those I love age and die in front of my eyes, it became a prison. Only the LaRue family stayed faithful to me all these years, keeping me in contact with the outside world. I admit, when your aunt first told me about you, all I could think of was if you would be able to free me. I wanted to meet you for that purpose only. That’s why I agreed to let guests into Darkwood this summer and approved that your Aunt Mae could offer you a job here. She knew you would only come if you were offered a job. She’s been keeping an eye on you and your grand-mere for years now.”
“I knew it!” I screamed.
“But then I saw you,” he continued speaking ignoring my little outburst. “I got to know you, and you made me feel alive again. You pulled me out of my ghost like existence. The misery I’ve been living with for over a hundred and sixty years. Before I met you, this plantation had been my penitentiary, and I had accepted that fate long ago knowing that I somehow deserved it. I took pleasure in my torment giving up that I would ever be a part of the outside world again. I waited for death, but it never came. But then you as if by some miracle appeared and the darkness evaporated. I wanted so badly for you to get to know me too, for you to feel something for me.” His eyes searched mine. They begged for me to understand.
“I wanted to tell you so many times, but I was scared that you would reject me. That you would leave, and my world would once again be cloaked in wretchedness. I should have been a man, but dread crippled me. Dread that you would go, and I would never lay eyes on you again. Horror at the fact that I would be unable to ever feel the way I do when you’re in the room. You don’t have to free me, but don’t leave Darkwood like this. Don’t leave angry. Please stay Arelia. I want you to stay. I can’t stand the thought of never seeing you again, never arguing with you, never being able to hear what you think or how you feel. Never eating fried Oreos again, as repulsive as they may be. Get to know me better. Stay. I need you to stay. I want to learn every single detail about you. Please give me a chance to do so. The image of you running around out there, without ever giving me a second thought is too much to handle. You must stay.”
His speech had taken the air right out of my lungs. He was inches away from me. My heart pounded with intensity as his hand touched me. It was warm and smooth as it grazed my sweaty cheek and tucked a loose wave behind my ear. A million thoughts buzzed in my head. Confusion, sheer joy, but the most powerful of them all was fear. Fear that I would fall in love with him and end up hurt. Fear that if I broke the curse, I would never see him again or worse he would die. Fear that I would venture further into a world that I had no control over. Fear that I would lose Sabrina if I stayed. So I said the only thing that I could. “I can’t stay.”
Chapter 19
I never want to be like them
Later that night, as Sabrina was tormenting me with her snores, I sat on the window ledge in our room. The moon hung high, and the stars shone bright, but none of it mattered. I couldn’t stop thinking about how hurt Lucus had looked when I told him I couldn’t stay, and that I didn’t want anything to do with him or Darkwood. It was as if I had poured a scorching cappuccino over his head while smearing hot peppers in his eyes. I was leaving tomorrow. Sabrina had called her parent’s driver, and he would be coming to get me at nine o’clock.
“You’re running away my dear.” Erzulie appeared, hovering outside the window. She looked stunning in a turquoise dress and kohl rimmed eyes.
“I’m not running away. I’m being smart. You were wrong Erzulie, I’m not strong enough. You picked the wrong person to bless. Your powers would have been better spent s
omewhere else.”
“I was not wrong Arelia. You are strong enough, you’re just scared. Do you intend to live the rest of your life in fear?” Erzulie questioned.
“It’s a lot better than what I’m going through now,” I reasoned.
“Do you really want to be like them?” she asked.
“Who?”
“Think about it.” With those ominous words, Erzulie made her exit.
It took me a few minutes to understand who she was referring to. It was my parents. They were the two people in the entire world that I had no intention of ever being like. My father had left long before I had come along. My mother disappeared the day after she gave birth to me. I could see a pattern developing here. Maybe it was hereditary. Maybe I was just meant to run when things got complicated or made me uncomfortable.
But then I thought about Grand-mere Bea who never ran. She had chosen to leave Darkwood because she didn’t feel it was the right place for her, but not once had she abandoned me. Even though, the life we lived wasn’t luxurious, it had love. Grand-mere Bea had taught me never to run away from the ones you loved. You stayed with them, fought for them, and loved them the best you could. I wanted to be like her. I couldn’t pinpoint my exact feelings for Lucus yet, but I did know they were like nothing I’d ever felt before. If I was ever going to help him, I couldn’t abandon him.
I knew what I needed to do. I knew that I couldn’t leave yet. I hopped down from the ledge and searched the room for one of Sabrina’s silk kimonos. I found a black one with red butterflies on it and threw it over my underwear and bra. I turned on the light and glanced in the mirror. I dabbed on some lip gloss and ran my fingers through my hair. I took a deep breath and convinced myself that I was strong enough to face whatever came my way.