"Have someone special in mind?"
"Maybe. But then again, plans fall through when you least expect it. There's a rift, or two people can't see eye to eye."
Lexa squirmed. He knew she could hear every word.
"Someone like you shouldn't have any trouble with women. Don't you have a few spares?"
Lexa expected a quick denial from Josh but instead she heard, "I did meet a cute redhead at the Pizza Hut last night. We were waiting for tables and we started talking."
"Did she give you her number?"
"No. I gave her mine."
Lexa frowned. Okay, was what Josh was saying true or not? And how did he expect her to react? She wouldn't react. At least not yet. She moved restively against the wall. She was getting darned uncomfortable.
"Women are equals now–bringing in that necessary second income. Husbands and wives have to work together or everything falls apart."
"Men and women should be equals in a relationship. But equality only works when both people are willing to share everything--their time, their hopes, their dreams."
"I love my wife and kids and all, but sometimes I envy guys like you. Bein' single, having variety. You get my drift."
If Josh didn't, Lexa did. She waited for Josh's reply.
"There's something to be said for not being tied down," Josh agreed. "Who wants the responsibility? Coming home to the same person night after night, arguing over who should do the laundry, not having that zip of excitement when you meet a new woman who's got everything in all the right places."
Anger burned away Lexa's embarrassment. Okay. That did it. She didn't know how much Josh believed what he was dishing out for her benefit...and she knew it was for her benefit–but she'd had enough. She was wearing more clothes than a woman in a bikini. If Mr. Norman didn't want to look, he didn't have to. She straightened herself on her high heels and with bells ringing, walked into the living room.
"Well, Josh," she cooed. "Introduce me to your associate."
Tom Norman was staring at her as if she had dropped from the sky.
He closed his mouth when Josh introduced them nonchalantly. "Tom Norman, meet Alexandra Kittredge."
Tom stuck out his hand, his eyes leveling at her breasts then scooting back up to her nose. "Howdy, ma'am. I didn't know anybody was here." He looked at Josh but Josh shrugged as if Lexa's presence were a puzzle to him, too.
Lexa's voice was as sweet as a candy cane. "Oh, I just dropped down Josh's chimney to see if he wanted some company tonight. If he doesn't, I'll just move on to the next house. You'd be surprised at the many people who need some Christmas cheer in their lives. They are so appreciative of the smallest kindness. Why, they would just light up like a Christmas tree if someone cooked them a meal or decorated their apartment. But then there are those folks who take it all for granted. I bet they're a stingy lot, too."
Tom seemed to realize that this was more than surface conversation. After his eyes swept up Lexa's legs once more, he said to Josh, "I'd better be going. The kids'll be disappointed if I get home too late. Thanks for the beer. I'll call you some day next week and we can confirm dates. Nice to meet you, Miss Kittredge."
"You too," she returned brightly, wishing she could see his expression when he spied the balloons. But she couldn't. She did hear him say to Josh, "You have a Merry Christmas. That little lady in there looks like she'd be a lively one. You're a lucky devil."
Lexa wasn't sure Josh agreed. When he closed the door and faced her, she was positive he didn't. There were tense lines around his mouth and his eyes masked his emotions.
Her heart accelerated and she became defensive. "Why did you do that, Josh? Why did you try to make a fool out of me?"
He gave her the once-over with cold blue eyes. "Me? Make a fool out of you?"
She snatched the hat from her head and threw it on the coffee table. "You could have gotten rid of him. You didn't have to offer him a beer and compare notes on the opposite sex."
"You didn't like the notes? Maybe we could have made them more graphic."
Anger edged his words and ignited like sparks in her. "Stop it, Josh. I came here to..." She couldn't seem to find the right words.
"To what, Lexa? For what? Do you have any idea of the hell I've been through yesterday and today? Do you have any idea how many times I picked up my phone to call you and thought better of it?"
She crossed her arms across her breasts as if to protect herself. "You have every right to be angry."
"You're damned right, I do. You leave here without discussion, rejecting my proposal, saying I don't understand you." His hands clenched and unclenched at his sides while the nerve under his cheekbone twitched with turbulent emotions. "Dammit, Lexa, I think I understand you better than you understand yourself. To top it off, I walk in here with a business associate and you're dressed like that!" His eyes slid from her head to her toes. "How did you expect me to react?"
She blinked back tears. "I thought if I did something special, showed you in some way how much I love you..."
The lines in his forehead smoothed out, the long dimples beside his mouth relaxed, his jaw's frozen line softened. "I was scared, Lexa. I thought all kinds of things."
"What?" she asked softly, unfolding her arms.
"I thought you might not come back--for a while. I thought maybe you'd come back and tell me we were finished. I thought you'd come back and settle for me since you couldn't have a child. I prayed that you'd come back and tell me we still had a future."
"That's why I'm here." She waved her arm across the apartment, knowing she had to take the risk of making herself completely vulnerable, knowing she had to tell him exactly how she felt. "That's why I did all this. To tell you we have a future if you want it as badly as I do. I came back to tell you that without your love, even having a child has lost its meaning. I want to be your wife, with or without children. You are important, Josh. You and me, together. That's what matters."
She thought he'd move toward her or she'd move toward him. But there was complete stillness in the room, no sound, no motion, until Josh's voice, heavy with emotion rumbled, "You know, don't you, that you don't have to cook my meals, decorate a tree, or dress like an elf for me to love you? You don't have to do anything."
She lost her power of speech and finally managed to choke out, "Are you saying you still love me?"
His eyes were a clear intense blue. "I'm saying I love you, I need you, and I want to spend the rest of my life with you."
Josh opened his arms and met Lexa in the middle of the living room. After a kiss as explosive as a dynamite blast, Josh lifted her in his arms and carried her to the bedroom. He laid her on the bed, stripped quickly, ran his hands over her satin curves, spreading fire wherever he touched, then disrobed her, too. His kisses were passion-filled, demanding retribution, demanding a volatile response, demanding love he thought he might have lost.
Lexa clutched him to her as with mounting urgency she caught his driving need, understood his untamed passion and gave him her complete surrender. His movements were frenzied, erratic, as his touches and strokes trailed flaming sensations. Her fingers played wantonly wherever she could reach. Their bodies glistened as he plunged his tongue into her mouth, nipped at her shoulder, taunted and lapped her breasts. Waves of delirious pleasure had her whole body quivering under his mouth and hands and he was quaking under hers.
He murmured, "I love you, Lexa." His voice was thick with need. "And I want you. God, how I want you."
Lexa's hands were trembling from her own desire and need. "I love you, too, Josh, and I want you. I want you so much."
Their lips sealed, their tongues danced in heated love play. Lexa arched her back, pressing into him, feeling his manhood urgent against her, seeking a home. His fingers found the eye of her desire--slick, satiny, ready for him. When she moaned and pressed against his hand, he petted and stroked until she was writhing against him and whispering his name in pleasure-ridden purrs.
Josh r
aised himself above her, his gaze a boundless ocean of love. "I want to love you, Lexa, not for a moment, but for a lifetime. Can you accept my love? Can you accept everything I want to give you?"
He was totally vulnerable, allowing Lexa to see into his soul. The love that swept over her was so awesome, she trembled. "I love you so much. I'll take everything you want to give."
Josh restrained his passion as long as he could to pleasure them both. But when Lexa pleaded, "Take me, Josh. Take me now," he knew he couldn't wait any longer. He wanted her, all of her, surrounding him. He wanted to bury himself in her until they weren't two, but one, in perfect union. He poised above her knowing this union would be like no other. It would bond them together for all eternity.
"What, Josh? What's wrong?"
"Nothing's wrong, sweetheart. Everything's right." When Lexa reached for him, a thick groan rose in Josh's throat. She took him in her hand and guided him, quivering and full, into her body. He controlled the desire to plunge to the center of her and slowly let her know all of him.
His voice was rough with the wonder of their fusing. "God, Lexa. You feel so good, so right."
She drew him deeper and deeper into herself. "I want to be part of you, Josh. For always."
Josh moved inside her, stroking precisely, pausing ever so slightly, lengthening each thrust, building a conflagration that was consuming them both. He kissed her fervently, trying to tell her what she meant to him, how much he loved her. He drunk her into his soul, branding her, possessing her, creating a new excitement that made Lexa claw his shoulders. He carried her further and further into another galaxy, yet closer and closer to himself. Together they reached for the stars, whirled into a universe where they collided, united, engulfed each other. As they soared toward the sun, it burst, showering them with heat and light and love. They called to each other, were shaken with rippling sensations, and were reborn to begin a new life.
When Josh's heartbeat was beating more normally, he slid to his side but kept one leg thrown over hers possessively. He brushed her bangs away from her flushed face. "Was that as wonderful for you as it was for me?"
"It couldn't have been any more wonderful," she confessed with amazement.
He caressed her cheek lovingly. "Lexa, I'm sorry about that business with Tom Norman. I never should have done that to you. I'm truly sorry."
She brushed her fingers over his jaw. "I understand. You were angry."
"That's no excuse."
"I forgive you. Do you forgive me for the other night, the way I left?"
"Didn't I just prove I have?"
"I need to be sure."
He slid his thumb over her kiss-bruised lips. "I think I could forgive you anything as long as I know you love me."
"I do, Josh. I trust you too. Do you believe me?"
"Yes, I do." He broached the subject that had to be discussed. "How did it go with Dani?"
She snuggled farther into his shoulder admitting, "Everything you said was right on the mark. I realized it on the drive home and after a talk with Dad. Dani and Rob want to make this work."
He tipped up her chin. "How do you feel?"
"I want Dani to be happy. I think my days of taking care of her are over. But I did want that baby, and part of me feels empty."
After a moment, Josh said, "I still do want children if that's what you want. We can seek out a specialist, adopt, whatever you want to do." Her eyes were so loving, so hopeful, so joy-filled, he had to kiss her.
A tear strayed down her cheek next to her nose. Josh swiped it away with his finger. "Are you happy?"
She nodded and finally found her voice. "I'd be a lot happier if I knew who the cute redhead is who has your phone number."
He grinned. "She's an eighteen-year-old who is looking for a job for the summer. She's going to call me when she comes home for spring break. A little jealous, were you?"
She tossed her head. "Not at all."
"Liar," he accused playfully. He rubbed his foot up and down her calf. "I do appreciate the tree, the supper, and the elf." He shook his head with exasperation. "I couldn't believe you were hiding in the kitchen in red satin with bells on your toes."
"Ankles," she corrected.
"After the shock of seeing you wore off, I didn't know whether I wanted to shake you until your teeth rattled or kiss you senseless."
"That Irish temperament," she sighed theatrically. "How am I ever going to put up with it?"
He disentangled himself, rose from the bed, and rummaged in his dresser drawer. She thought she might have hurt his feelings, but he turned around with a wide smile and a tiny present in his hand. He dropped it on her stomach. "There are a few hours until Christmas, but I want you to open this now."
Her fingers shook as she tore off the gold bow and the green foil wrapping. She took the lid off the box and found a blue velvet one inside. She looked up at Josh.
He said, "Open it."
When she lifted the lid, she found a perfect heart-shaped diamond set in white gold. "Oh, Josh. It's beautiful."
He lay down beside her, took it from its velvet bed and slipped it on her finger. "Will you promise to put up with my Irish temperament?"
"Forever," she promised fervently.
"Forever," Josh pledged as his lips found hers and they sealed their vows.
EPILOGUE
The hot evening sun beamed over Lexa's shoulder as she sat on the bleachers with other parents. Josh was giving last minute instructions to a seven-year-old before he took the batting position. Lexa loved watching Josh and Matt play baseball, wrestle, fly gliders in the back yard. After a year of marriage, as she and Josh watched Dani and Rob nurture their child, they decided not to wait to see if the surgery Lexa had undergone was successful. They'd discovered there were children who needed to be adopted now.
Matt was one of those children. His mother had abandoned him in a shopping mall when he was four. He still had nightmares about being lost and alone, and he needed constant reassurance that they wouldn't send him to another family as happened twice before with foster care. In six more months he would be officially theirs. And now, in eight more months... Lexa wanted to wait until she was alone with Josh to tell him the news.
After the Little League game, the trio made a customary stop for ice cream. Matt could hardly keep his huge brown eyes open as he spooned in a hot fudge sundae. Josh had taken the afternoon off, sent the babysitter home, and taken Matt swimming. The water always tired out the little boy.
Josh and Lexa read Matt a story, put him to bed, and kissed him good night. They descended the stairs and Lexa went to the desk while Josh stretched his legs out in front of him and sprawled on the sofa. "The real estate agent called me this morning and said she has another house to show us. Are you sure you wouldn't rather build?"
"No. I'm sure there's a house somewhere in Chambersburg that will be what we want and need. Who knows? This one could be it."
"I hope so. Matt needs more yard space and a dog, and we need more closets and a family room. This townhouse wasn't designed for a family."
Little did Josh know another bedroom would soon be needed. She took a wrapped box from the desk drawer and crossed to the sofa.
Josh eyed her appreciatively. "You sure are sexy in shorts and a tee shirt. Of course you'd be even sexier without them."
"Even after two and a half years of marriage you still have a one track mind."
"That's not true," he protested. "I've got lots of tracks going at the same time. Can I help it if you still turn me on?"
She sat down next to him and dropped the box in his lap. She remembered when Josh had dropped her engagement ring into hers. This was quite different.
He sat up straighter. "What's this?"
She gave nothing away. "A present."
"It's not my birthday."
"This is a special gift. Something you'll be needing in the future."
Josh tore off the ribbon and paper and opened the box. A baby rattle was nestled in th
e box. "Lexa. What--? Sweetheart, does this mean that--"
"I'm pregnant," she said with a smile.
His arms wrapped around her and squeezed hard. "Are you sure? Why didn't you tell me?"
She said unsteadily, "I'm telling you now. I used a second pregnancy test and saw my gynecologist."
He took her face between his large hands. "Are you okay? Is everything all right? Does she think there will be problems?"
"Yes, yes, and no."
"Lexa..."
"I'm fine, Josh. The problem was getting pregnant. Since I did that successfully, with your help of course, the rest will happen naturally."
He kissed her, hugged her hard, and sat back, sensing something was worrying her. "You are happy about this."
"I'm ecstatic. But I'm worried about Matt. He gobbles up all the love we can give. Will he feel we don't love him as much if there's another--"
Her question was interrupted by a cry from upstairs. "Mommy. Dad. Mommy."
Lexa and Josh ran up to Matt's bedroom as they had many times before. Lexa took Matt in her arms and stroked back his dark brown hair from his face. "It's okay," she crooned. "We're here now. You're safe. You're not alone."
Josh sat along the edge of Matt's bed and rubbed his hand up and down his son's leg. "It was just a dream, champ. C'mon. Look around. You're in your room. There's nothing to be afraid of."
Matt held on to Lexa and she rocked and soothed until his tears stopped. After she kissed his forehead, he scooted off her lap back into bed.
Josh asked, "Would you feel safer if we stay up here?"
"Yeah." Matt tugged his pajama shirt down. "Dad, if we get a dog, can he sleep with me?"
"That's something to think about. But we might be able to do better than that. How would you like a brother or sister?"
Matt's eyes widened. "For real? Do you mean it? Will he sleep in here with me?"
"He or she will be a baby, honey," Lexa explained. "And they cry a lot."
"I wouldn't care. I'd come and get you if he cried." Matt seemed to ponder something for a moment. "You'll still want me, won't you?"
"Always," Josh assured him. "You're our son and nothing will ever change that no matter how big our family gets."
Toys and Baby Wishes Page 17