by Roslyn Bane
“Hamstrings? I was beginning to think they were harp strings.”
They both laughed for a few seconds.
“One last exercise. Roll over onto your stomach and let your leg relax. Let gravity help force your knee straight. The better flexibility you have in your residual limb, the better you will do with the prosthesis. If you get a muscle contracture, it may mean having to permanently use a walker or crutch along with the prosthesis.”
Sam frowned. “I don’t like that term. Residual limb. It reminds me of something nasty, discarded.”
“I see. Well, that’s what it’s usually called. What term would you prefer we use?”
“I don’t know…how about…the unleg?”
“The unleg?”
“Yes, or the stump. But I think unleg is better.” She flashed a quick smile at him.
“Unleg it is.”
“I’m going to go make a few notes in your chart. I’ll be back in ten minutes. Call out if you need help, Major. As you can see there are plenty of people around.”
Sam lay on the bed, as the sweat slowly dried. How can I be so exhausted from just a few exercises? My leg is hot. Ask if that is normal. She watched as a therapist demonstrated a one-handed shoe tie to a young female missing an arm. She looked like she was a teenager. Poor kid.
“All right, Major.”
Sam jumped, surprised and embarrassed that she had fallen asleep.
“Oh sorry, didn’t take you long to fall asleep. Let me help you roll over.”
The therapist watched Sam roll over and push herself up to a sitting position. His hand brushed against hers as he handed her a towel. “You feel a little warm, Sam. Do you feel okay?”
“I’m tired. And my leg is hot.”
“Let me check your wound.” He started to remove the bandage from the stump. “Have you seen this yet?”
“No. I don’t like to look at it. They’ve been doing the wound care.”
“You aren’t the only one. Let us know if you want to see it.”
Sam watched the therapist’s face as the wound was uncovered. She decided she wouldn’t want to play poker with the man because his face gave absolutely nothing away. “Is it okay?”
“It’s a little warm.”
“Well, I have been exercising, and it’s all wrapped up. Shouldn’t it be warm?”
“Perhaps. I’ll let the doctor know what I see.” He touched the end gently, “Does this hurt?”
Her leg jerked back, and she shrieked loud enough that others in the clinic turned to look.
“That’s a little more sensitive than I expected. Let’s get this covered up, and a corpsman will take you back.”
Sam moved into the wheelchair easily, and wheeled herself down the hall. She made it most of the way, but her heart began to pound against her sore ribs. As she struggled to keep the chair moving the corpsman started to push the wheelchair, not commenting when Sam became too tired to continue. He watched as Sam transferred herself back to the bed without assistance.
“Major, show me how to position the pillows to avoid pressure sores.”
Sam did as he asked. A slow moan escaped as her leg started to pulse.
“Are you in pain?”
“Yes.”
“I’ll send the nurse in. Get some rest. You’re scheduled with the LT again tomorrow at oh eight hundred.”
Sam nodded. After several seconds, she looked at the TV hanging on the wall. She wasn’t in the habit of watching TV. Perhaps she could ask for a book or newspaper.
The nurse came in quickly, “Tired from your therapy today, Major? The therapists are pleased with how well you’ve done. I just want to check your wound, before we get you cleaned up.” As she unwrapped the ace bandages and cotton gauze from the stump, Sam watched her carefully. There was a quick flash of concern before a poker face appeared. “I’m going to leave this uncovered for a few minutes. I want the doctor to look at this. Let me get your vitals and then I’ll be back with some water.”
“Is there something wrong?”
“It’s a little redder than I like. I’ll have the doctor paged.”
Sam sat staring at the wall, alternated with counting the dots in the ceiling tiles. Anything to avoid looking at the stump, at the unleg, at the residual limb. Whatever the hell it was. Finally, the doctor arrived. She wondered what had taken so long, but after she looked at the clock on the wall, it had only been five minutes.
“Hi, Major. I understand there is some concern about your leg. Let me take a look.” She watched as a frown appeared and his brow furrowed. “Is this sore?” He rubbed it.
Sam flinched pulling her leg away sharply, “Yes.” She ground her teeth together and pressed her head back into the pillow. “What’s going on?”
“Major, I need you to rollover.”
The nurse lowered the head of the bed until Sam was flat and she rolled over. A hand touched her butt and slowly moved lower pressing firmly on her leg. “Tell me where you start to have any pain.”
His hand crossed her knee joint and slid down her calf. She hissed, “Right there.”
“Has she been running a fever?”
“No, sir. Her vitals have all been normal.”
“Antibiotics?”
“Only oral antibiotics now. Four times a day. Her pain level has been consistently five or six, with no increase in pain medication.”
Sam remained quiet as the conversation went on around her. Finally, she cut in. “Will you tell me what’s going on?”
“Yes. Rollover. Let’s get this bandaged.”
Sam rolled over, “I want to see it. What’s wrong?”
“It appears you have an infection. It may be just the skin, but we should have the orthopedist evaluate you. I am going to order some x-rays and see what the bone looks like.”
“I want to see. Let me see.” She sat up and looked down. Her heart hammered as she looked at her uncovered leg for the first time. The stump was bulbous and swollen. It looked soft and was light red. More flushed than the rest of her leg. She reached her hands down and touched it. As her fingers touched the line of sutures, she realized it was tender.
“It’s bright red along the back of your leg and at the tip. There is some sloughing of the skin too. I want to get a light bandage over this” He turned to the nurse, “Let’s get orthopedics in. Let them know x-rays are ordered. Get an IV and antibiotics going again.”
Two hours later Sam sat quietly in the dim light of her room staring at the ceiling, her dinner untouched, pushed away on the tray. Nausea swept through her. Were they going to take more of her leg? How much? She was sitting on the edge of the bed her good leg swinging back and forth when two of her doctors walked in. From the look on their faces, she knew it wasn’t good news. “You’re going to take more off, aren’t you?”
“Yes. The bone looks like it is infected. Any open fracture is considered a high-risk wound. Your leg bone was exposed for several hours. We don’t want to delay any longer.”
“How much more will you take?”
“We won’t know until we get in there. If we act fast, there is an excellent chance that you will keep your knee. That makes using the prosthesis so much easier. There is no substitute for a healthy human knee.”
“When will it be?”
He gestured to her food tray, “Did you eat?”
“Not since noon. I’m not hungry.”
“You’re getting your fluids through the IV now so don’t eat or drink anything. We’ll take you in after midnight. I don’t want to wait until morning.”
“We’ll take good care of you, Major. We’ll get you through this.”
Chapter Eight
LANDSTUHL, GERMANY
KRIS SAT IN BED and did her best to take deep breaths. The respiratory therapist was encouraging her to continue breathing forcefully.
“Only a few more, Commander, and we’ll be done. After that you can rest for a few minutes before they get you up and moving.”
Kris finishe
d with the breathing exercises and took the mask off her face. She dried the mist from her mouth and chin and handed the mask back to the corpsman. “There you go. Are you coming back later?”
“Someone will be by this afternoon for your next treatment. Remember to do the deep breathing exercises on your own every hour for ten minutes.”
“I understand.”
“I’m sure you do, doc. Be sure you do them.”
“I’ll be good.”
After he left the room, she lowered her gown and looked at the large bandage covering most of her chest. She could see nothing else. The ache in her chest was diminished as the pain medication was at a good level. Her arm wasn’t painful at all. She wished she could come out of the sling for some movement, but the repaired blood vessels needed minimal movement while they healed. She pulled her gown back up, snapped it, and pulled it up to her waist to look at the bandage on her thigh. Her leg below the bandage covering the graft site was a little swollen, which was to be expected. She leaned back and closed her eyes. In twenty-four hours, I’m going home.
***
BETHESDA, MARYLAND
Sam became aware of movement around her. She opened her eyes and realized she was in recovery. Everything was blurry. She tried to rub at her eyes, but a nurse stopped her. “Don’t rub your eyes, Major.”
“Blurry.”
“I’ll get it for you. Keep them closed, and I’ll wipe off the ointment.”
Something soft dabbed across her closed eyelids and when she reopened them everything was clear. Sam sighed. “That’s better. What time is it?”
“It’s oh five hundred, Major. You going somewhere?”
“How much?”
“The doctor will be along shortly to talk to you. Your surgery went well.”
“Now. Tell me now.” Sam had grabbed the nurse’s hand and wouldn’t let go. She wasn’t squeezing, she didn’t have the strength, but her voice was commanding despite its low volume.
“Major, I can’t.”
“Knee?”
“Knee? Oh, do you still have your knee? Yes. Yes, you do.”
Sam let go of her, and sighed, laying her head back on the pillow. “Thank you.”
***
BETHESDA, MARYLAND
Kris awakened slowly, gradually recognizing the noises around her. She caught the faintest whiff of perfume. She turned her head toward the scent, “Shelly?”
“Hi, babe.” A strong warm hand held hers tightly and lips pressed lightly to hers.
“How long have you been here?”
“I got here late last night. Too late to visit. They said by late morning things would be settled enough to see you. How are you feeling?”
“Tired. Sore. I’m so happy to see you.” She lifted Shelly’s hand to her lips and kissed it. “I’ve missed you.”
“I missed you too. I was so scared. They didn’t share a lot of details. I think your parents got more information. Being able to speak the doctor talk, they knew what questions to ask. They kept me informed.” She leaned forward, kissed Kris on the head. “They’re here. They stopped downstairs for some coffee and probably to give us a few minutes alone. Thank God, you’re home. I can sleep easier at night knowing you’re back here safe and sound, where you belong.”
Kris reached for the water pitcher and gasped, clutching at her chest. “I’ll get that for you.” Shelly filled the pink plastic water cup and held the cup and straw while Kris drank. “You look uncomfortable. Are they giving you enough pain medication? You shouldn’t be hurting.”
“I have enough. I don’t need anymore, it makes me too tired.”
“You do look tired. What happened, Kris? They didn’t really explain it.”
Before Kris could answer there was a soft knock at the door, and it pushed open slightly. Her mouth curled up as her parents entered. “Mom, Dad.”
“Oh, Krissy.” Her mom hurried over, tears immediately sliding down her face, “It’s so good to have you back. How do you feel?”
Kris reached her arm up to try to hug her mother, grimacing as the pain ripped through her chest. She kissed her cheek, and gave a weak hug to her father. “I’ll be okay. I need time, that’s all.”
“You gave us quite the scare.” Kris heard the emotion in her dad’s voice.
“I’m sorry.” Kris stopped speaking as the nurse came in the room, and checked Kris’ vital signs, IV, and bandages. As soon as the nurse left the room, everyone started to talk at once.
Kris held up her hand, silencing everyone. “Please. Let me explain.” She flinched as a flash of pain stabbed into her chest. She took several shallow breaths. “I don’t remember everything. In fact, I don’t remember how I was hurt at all. They’ve told me I went outside the wire, uh, outside the camp. I went out to help. And I was hit.”
“You went outside the camp?” Shelly jumped up, “Why would you do that?”
“Someone needed help.”
“For God’s sake, Kris. You could—”
Kris’ mother cut her off, “So you’re not sure how you were hurt?”
“No. There’s a…um, some amnesia around the events.”
“But…” Shelly looked at Kris’ parents “Is that all right?”
Kris’ mom spoke first. “It’s concerning. Of course, so much has happened, a little confusion is reasonable.” She gave Kris’ hand a gentle squeeze. “I’m sure with time things will become a little clearer.”
Her father spoke softly, “How do you feel?”
Kris looked at her parents, “I feel okay. Better now that I am back in the States.”
Kris’ dad spoke, “I feel better now that you’re back home too.”
There was a rap on the door, and it opened right away. “Good morning. Whoa! Big crowd. Sorry for the interruption but I wanted to see how the patient was doing this morning.” He smiled at Kris. “I’m Dr. Martin, one of the civilian physicians here. Who are your visitors, Commander?”
“These are my parents, William and Irene Matthews. Both of my parents are physicians. My dad is a family practice physician, and my mom is a general surgeon. This is my partner, Shelly Delabrois.” Kris saw the doctor’s smile waver for a split second, but he recovered and smiled politely.
He looked at everyone. “Could I have a few moments to speak with the patient alone?”
“Yes,” William said, and ushered them all from the room.
“Commander Matthews, can I call you Kristine?”
“Kris.”
“I’ve read over your recent medical records. Everything appears in order. We’ll remove the graft bandages later today for another look. They were checked on your arrival last night, but I want to examine you myself. We can wait until your family leaves though, and Orthopedics will be by later to look at your arm. Is your pain controlled well?”
“I’m fine unless I sneeze or cough.”
Dr. Martin pulled a chair up and sat next to the bed. “You will continue on respiratory therapy here until you are consistently holding high blood oxygen levels. While you were sleeping, on the flight back, your saturation level dropped pretty low.”
“It did?”
“Yes. The oxygen brought your level back up quickly, and you slept without any other incidents. Would you like me to speak to your parents and um…your partner about your injuries?”
“Talk to my parents. I’ll tell my partner.”
Chapter Nine
“HEY BABE. THE DOC said you wanted to talk to me alone. I don’t think he likes me. Or maybe that we’re a couple. Are you okay with that?”
“I don’t care. Not now. Shelly, we need to talk.”
“Do you need something?”
“Just for you to sit down and listen.” Kris yawned. “Sorry, the pain medicine makes me sleepy. I need to tell you this now. When I was hurt, I was hit up near my shoulder—”
“Yes, I can see that. That’s why you have a sling.”
She shook her head “There’s more. I was hit in the chest. It’s…it’s b
ad, Shelly.”
“The chest? What do you mean?” Her eyes drifted down to Kris’ chest, covered with the blankets, “What kind of injury?”
“I…most of my breast, the left one. It’s gone.”
“Gone? What do you mean?”
“It’s gone. It was damaged, by shrapnel. It hit my shoulder and chest.”
“But you have body armor.”
“I don’t know what happened. I don’t remember it all. Shelly, it’s gone. My left breast is gone. They had to graft skin to cover the wound.”
“What do you mean? You have nothing there? Not even skin?”
Kris saw Shelly getting pale, heard her voice growing sharper. She tried to reassure her, “There’s skin now. They took a graft from my leg to cover it.”
“I don’t understand. Let me see.”
“I can’t. It’s bandaged.”
“Let me see the bandage.” She came to the bed and gently pulled the blankets down. She unsnapped the shoulder portion of the gown and lowered it, revealing Kris’ heavy bandages. “There’s one on your leg too?”
“That’s where they took the graft from.”
“Oh, my God. You could have been killed.” She sat down, pale, her hands trembling.
“Shelly, it’s okay. I’m home. Calm down and come sit with me, here on the bed.”
Shelly came to the bed and Kris did the best she could to comfort her. To reassure her that she was indeed okay and she whispered “I’m sorry. I didn’t know a better way to tell you.”
***
A few minutes later Kris’ parents came into the room, they paused momentarily as they saw Shelly sitting on the bed with Kris, and tears running down their daughter’s face. Kris looked up at her parents, “Did you speak with the surgeon?”
“We did.” Irene and William moved into the room, pulling chairs up next to the bed, and Shelly moved down to the foot of the bed, wiping her face with tissues. William grasped Kris’ hand. “He said that you are doing well and that your lung had minimal damage. Your chest injuries are doing well, all things considered. You were lucky.”
“I know.”
Shelly interrupted, “Lucky? How is this lucky?”
“What I mean is that she could have lost a lung or had a heart injury. She could have lost her life.”