Fighting with Shadows

Home > Historical > Fighting with Shadows > Page 20
Fighting with Shadows Page 20

by Beryl Matthews


  Dieter sat down just as Danny came in.

  ‘I saw you on top of the barn.’ He scrambled on to a chair beside Dieter. ‘It’s very high. Was you scared?’

  ‘No, I used to go higher than that in an aeroplane.’ Dieter began to eat the meal Hetty had placed in front of him. He was famished.

  ‘Did you drive it?’

  ‘I was a navigator. I used to tell the pilot where to go.’

  ‘Would he have got lost without you?’

  ‘Definitely.’ Dieter’s smile died when he saw Angie glaring at him from the doorway. He sighed inwardly. She still did not trust him. All he was trying to do was feed Danny bits of information so he would know something about his father.

  Dieter held her gaze, daring her to protest, but she remained silent.

  ‘Do you want a cup of tea, Angie?’ Hetty said, putting out the cups.

  She nodded and sat next to John.

  Danny was now kneeling on his chair and leaning towards Dieter. ‘Is it good in an aeroplane?’

  ‘Sometimes, but it is not so good when someone is trying to shoot you down.’

  ‘Boom, boom, like that?’ Danny’s eyes were wide. ‘Who was shooting at you?’

  ‘Spitfires.’ He heard Angie draw in a deep breath, but he didn’t look up. Danny had to know he was German. It would give him time to get used to the idea. Dieter knew he was taking a chance, but this was the perfect opportunity, while the people who loved Danny surrounded him.

  ‘Why would they do that?’ He looked puzzled.

  ‘Because I was in a German bomber. War makes ordinary people do terrible things, whatever nationality they are. I am German, Danny.’

  This seemed to take a bit of working out, and Danny chewed his lip in concentration. ‘Is that why you talk funny?’

  Dieter nodded. There hadn’t been any adverse reaction to the news, and he was pleased.

  ‘Did you drop bombs?’

  ‘Yes, just as the RAF and Americans dropped bombs on my home.’ Dieter laid his knife and fork down. ‘War is a terrible thing, Danny, but it’s all over now, and we are friends once again.’

  ‘Yeah.’ Danny nodded vigorously, then tipped his head to one side. ‘Did they shoot you?’

  ‘They did and I came down on a parachute. I was put in a prisoner-of-war camp near here.’

  His little face became serious. ‘Did you meet my mummy here?’

  ‘I did, and she was lovely.’

  ‘I loved her.’ Danny’s eyes filled with tears for a moment, and just as quickly disappeared. He peered at Dieter’s plate. ‘Are you gonna leave that tato?’

  Dieter pierced it with his fork and popped it into the little boy’s mouth.

  Danny chewed, swallowed and grinned. ‘Will you play the piano now?’

  ‘Of course.’ He helped Danny off the chair and they went into the front room.

  As soon as they left the kitchen, Angie sagged in relief. All her worrying, and Danny had accepted it just like that. No questions, no upset, nothing, only curiosity. But then why would he react any differently? He was a child born after the war, and innocent. He was part of a new generation who were not tainted with the memories or prejudices of their elders. Pray God they stayed that way.

  ‘Are you all right?’ Hetty touched her hand.

  She looked up with a smile. ‘Oh for the uncomplicated mind of a three-year-old.’

  ‘It was far better for Danny to find out from Dieter than to run the risk of someone else telling him.’ John lifted his head as the sound of music echoed through the house. ‘When are you going to tell Danny that Dieter is his father?’

  ‘Christmas.’ Angie worried her bottom lip. ‘I’m dreading it. How is Danny going to take the news?’

  ‘Much like he did today, I expect. Only with more joy.’ Hetty was clearing the table and stopped what she was doing for a moment. ‘He already likes Dieter.’

  ‘I know he does, and that’s a relief.’ Angie clasped her hands together tightly. ‘But once he’s been told, it could cause more difficulties. Is he going to understand why Dieter doesn’t live with us, like Emma’s father lives with her?’

  Hetty’s glance was compassionate. ‘This is only a problem because Jane decided not to tell Dieter about the baby. That is the legacy we have to deal with, and it can’t all be smoothed out in an instant. But Dieter is a fine man; he will respond to Danny’s concerns calmly and kindly. It isn’t going to be easy on any of you, but it can be done. It must be done.’

  ‘I know. I just wish I had your confidence.’

  Later that night Angie tossed and turned, unable to sleep. She was glad she wasn’t dealing with this on her own in London. Here she had friends around her who were more than willing to help all they could. She was very grateful for that, because Dieter was a most unsettling man.

  Swinging her legs out of bed, she stood up, put on her dressing gown and made her way quietly downstairs. She would make herself a cup of tea.

  Angie sipped her tea, deep in thought. She wanted to know more about Dieter. How had he dealt with those years as a prisoner of war? It must have been terrible for a young man of just twenty to have found himself behind barbed wire for an indefinite time, all normal life cut off. Then, as the war ended, he had heard about the destruction of his country, and particularly of his home. What anguish that must have caused him. She was beginning to understand why Jane hadn’t told him she was pregnant. Dieter had had to go home; there was no question about it, and she might have done the same thing if she’d been in her cousin’s position. He would have been frantic about his family, and Jane knew she might die and the baby never be born. What a dilemma her young cousin had faced; and, although her decision did not seem right now, Jane had done what she felt she had to at the time. No one could fault her for that.

  She covered her face with her hands. Oh, dear Lord, what an awful situation they had both faced. And with such courage. She straightened up and lifted her head. She must stop thinking about herself – what she might lose. Her fears were selfish shadows, and if she didn’t learn to overcome them, she was going to cause all of them more pain. Whatever the rights and wrongs of things, it was essential to put the past aside and concentrate on the future. The war had happened, and nothing could change that. Young men had been torn from their families and put in a situation where it was kill or be killed. She prayed that their sacrifices had made the world a safer place for the generation to come. Children like Danny and Emma must never have to face the grief and heartache caused by total war.

  She stood up and climbed the stairs. Once back in bed she stared up at the ceiling. She really would try to be more understanding. From now on she would treat Dieter with respect, and encourage Danny to get to know his father. Christmas was only three weeks away, and that would be the time to tell him. She had nothing to lose and everything to gain by seeing her darling boy happy.

  21

  It was chaos in the church hall, with all the children shouting at the tops of their voices, trying to outdo each other. Danny was rolling on the floor, yelping as Emma tried to get a brightly coloured ball from him. The little girl wasn’t having much luck, because, although there were only about three months between them, Danny was beginning to shoot up. He was going to be tall, Angie thought with pride, smiling as she watched their antics.

  Suddenly Danny let the ball go, clambered to his feet and rushed towards the door. Angie turned and saw Dieter catch him, swinging him high in the air. Here was someone else who was changing before her eyes, she noted. He was bigger, stronger and in much better health since he had been working at the farm and eating Hetty’s cooking.

  Danny whispered in Dieter’s ear and he nodded, walking over to the Rector. After exchanging a few words, Dieter put Danny down and came over to her.

  ‘I promised Danny that he could hear the organ. The Rector has given me permission to go to the church now.’

  ‘Oh, I can’t get away at the moment.’ As soon as the words were out of her
mouth she knew she’d made a big mistake.

  Dieter’s mouth tightened as he studied her face intently. ‘There is no need for you to come if you are busy. My son will be quite safe with me,’ he added softly so that only she could hear.

  ‘Of course.’ She smiled down at Danny. ‘Enjoy yourself, darling. I’ll try to come along later.’

  As they walked out the door, Angie cursed vehemently under her breath. Damn, damn! What had she decided last night? Wasn’t she going to stop being fearful and selfish? She was pathetic.

  ‘Where’s Danny gone?’ Emma was pulling at her skirt. ‘Why didn’t Deeder take me too?’

  Angie stooped in front of the very hurt-looking little girl. ‘They’ve only gone next door to the church. Dieter is going to show Danny the organ.’

  ‘Oh.’ She didn’t look quite so cross now. ‘He likes music.’

  ‘Yes, he does, and everyone says he’s going to be very good when he grows up.’

  ‘’Spect he will.’ A gleam of something like pride shone in her eyes. ‘I’m gonna marry him when I’ve growed.’

  ‘My goodness.’ Angie just managed to stop herself from laughing out loud. ‘Does Danny know about that?’

  She nodded and smirked. ‘I told him.’

  ‘And what did he say?’

  ‘He said to stop being daft.’ Her grin was confident. ‘But he’ll see.’

  ‘And once she makes up her mind she always gets what she wants.’ Sally had been standing behind Angie, and they both began to shake with helpless laughter.

  Just then there was a lull in the noise and the sound of the organ could be heard. The Rector tipped his head to one side. ‘Oh, my, just listen to that sound. That dear boy makes our organ sound magnificent. Oh, my, beautiful, beautiful.’ Turning on his heel, he hurried out.

  ‘Mummy, Deeder’s playing, so can we go and listen?’ Emma was jumping up and down.

  ‘But you’ve always said you don’t like music.’

  ‘Danny likes it, so I like it now.’

  ‘Ah, well.’ Sally grinned at Angie. ‘That’s true love for you.’

  ‘Can we go, Mummy?’ Emma was getting impatient.

  ‘Give us ten minutes and we’ll all go.’

  ‘He might stop by then. I’ll go now.’

  Sally just managed to grab her daughter as she charged towards the door. ‘Oh, no you don’t. You’ll wait for me, Emma. If you go, you’ll have to be very quiet, no running around and making a noise.’

  ‘Why?’

  Sally sighed. ‘Because Danny will want to listen. You know how still he sits when there’s music on the wireless.’

  Emma drew a circle on the floor with the toe of her shoe, and then looked up, a picture of innocence. ‘I can be quiet.’

  Sally muttered under her breath, ‘That’s news to me.’

  Fifteen minutes later they stepped into the church and Angie stopped in utter amazement. The Rector was in one of the choir pews, eyes closed and an expression of complete bliss on his face. Danny was next to him, absolutely still, with his gaze fixed on Dieter. Nor was the rest of the church empty. There were men in working clothes, women with shopping baskets, even one or two teenagers. It looked as if the glorious music had enticed in quite a few people.

  Sally held her finger to her lips as Emma started to fidget. They slid into the back pew and settled down to listen.

  Dieter was lost in playing, and Angie was sure he wasn’t even aware that he had an audience. He was playing classical music, and she was sorry she didn’t know anything about it, as it was so lovely. As she watched, all the lingering doubts melted away, and her heart went out to the talented man. How sad that he had never been allowed to pursue a musical career. Then the war had come and robbed him of his youthful years. It could have blighted his life, but she could see now that he had inner strength.

  The organ roared, filling the small church with breathtaking sound. A smile touched Dieter’s mouth at that moment, and she understood what solace he gained from making music.

  Sally wiped away a tear, and even Emma was quiet – only she was watching Danny, not the organist.

  The next twenty minutes were the most relaxing, healing moments Angie had had since Jane’s death. She seemed to ride on the sound, feeling the tension and worry melt away.

  When the music stopped, Dieter bowed his head as if willing himself to come back to the real world again, and there was a stillness in the church you could almost taste. When applause rippled from those present, Dieter lifted his head, startled at the sound. He acknowledged it with a slight bow of his head and stood up.

  Danny was the first to reach him, with the Rector right behind.

  ‘That was wonderful.’ Sally smiled at her daughter. ‘You were a very good girl. Now you can go to see Dieter.’

  Emma was off before her mother had stopped speaking, running full pelt down the aisle.

  Everyone wanted to thank Dieter, so Angie and Sally waited until they had all left, then made their way down to the organ.

  ‘Ah.’ The Rector beamed when they approached. ‘I hope you’re all coming to the Carol Concert. We’re in for a real treat, with this dear boy playing for us. Such talent, such sensitivity. Ah, yes, a real feast.’ He wandered off, still muttering under his breath with a huge smile on his face.

  ‘Wasn’t that good, Auntie?’ Danny’s eyes were glowing as he gazed at Dieter in wonder. ‘The organ’s got three lots of keys and knobs to pull out. An’ there’s all things on the floor. Not just two pedals but lots.’

  Angie smiled down at his excited face. ‘It was really lovely, darling.’

  Emma had nipped across to have a look at the organ, and came back with a puzzled expression on her face. She tugged at Dieter’s sleeve. ‘Deeder, how did you make all that noise come out of that?’

  ‘It wasn’t noise, Emma.’ Sally corrected her daughter firmly. ‘You make noise. Dieter makes music. There’s a big difference.’

  The little girl screwed up her face and tipped her head back to look up at Dieter. ‘I can sing music.’

  Danny giggled and received an offended glare from his friend.

  ‘You must sing for me sometime.’ Dieter’s shoulders were shaking in silent mirth.

  Sally looked appalled. ‘Oh, I don’t think you’ll want to hear that, Dieter.’

  He schooled his expression. ‘I’m sure Emma’s very good. I shall look forward to it, and I shall accompany her on the piano.’

  Now Emma looked smug and she gave Danny a shove. ‘There. Bet you can’t sing.’

  ‘Bet I can.’

  Gurgling with laughter, the two children began to chase each other round the pews with Sally in hot pursuit, growling that this was a house of God and not a playground.

  When they disappeared out of the door, Angie turned to Dieter. ‘I really enjoyed that, but I’m afraid I don’t know anything about classical music.’

  ‘I shall be pleased to teach you, if you wish.’

  ‘Thank you.’ Angie suddenly felt shy, which was surprising, because it was something she had never been prone to. They were alone in the church, and he was standing rather close. ‘Erm … would you like to have lunch with us?’

  ‘Thank you, I would like that very much.’

  He gave his usual slight bow that she found so appealing. He was always so polite.

  ‘Let us go and find the children, shall we?’ He placed a hand under her arm, and they walked out together.

  Sally appeared from behind a bush, panting and holding each child firmly. She was still grinning. ‘Heaven help us. By the time we’ve finished rehearsals for the Nativity Play this afternoon, we’ll be exhausted.’

  ‘Do I have to cuddle that dolly, Mummy?’ Emma scowled. ‘Can’t we have a teddy bear instead?’

  ‘No, you can’t. If you don’t want to play Mary, say so now and we’ll find someone else.’

  Emma kicked a stone and sighed.

  Bending down, Angie tried to help Sally with her disgruntled daug
hter. ‘Jesus was a little baby boy, so you must have the dolly. It wouldn’t be right with the teddy bear.’

  ‘S’pose.’

  ‘Danny’s going to be Joseph. That’s Mary’s husband.’ Angie wanted to laugh when she saw Emma’s expression change at that piece of news.

  ‘I’ll be Mary, then.’ She looked hesitantly at her mother. ‘Can I just rock the dolly in the cot?’

  ‘No, this is the Rector’s play and he wants you to hold it, but only for a little while when the Three Wise Men give their gifts. Then you can put it back.’

  Another stone went tumbling along the path. ‘S’pose that’ll be all right. Long as they don’t take too long.’

  ‘A small concession,’ Sally muttered under her breath. ‘Though I really don’t know what she’s got against dolls. Now we’d better all get moving if we’re going to be back at the hall by two.’

  It didn’t take long to cook sausages and mash for their lunch. Angie had made an apple pie the night before, and she popped that into the oven to warm through.

  Dieter was in the front room with Danny, playing the Moonlight Sonata. She knew that one. Pausing for a moment, she listened, picturing Dieter’s head bowed over the keys and Danny sitting entranced. He never seemed to tire of hearing Dieter play, and the poor man was continually being dragged towards the piano. She waited until he had finished playing another piece, then called them for lunch.

  They both appeared immediately.

  ‘Oh, good.’ Danny sat down. ‘Sausages and mash. I like that, don’t you, Dieter?’

  ‘My favourite.’

  ‘What was that last piece you played?’ Angie put the meal in front of them and sat down herself.

  ‘Liebesträume by Liszt.’ Dieter picked up his knife and fork. ‘Did you like it?’

  She nodded. ‘It was beautiful.’

  ‘Yeah.’ Danny beamed at them both. ‘Mrs Poulton’s gonna start learning me a tune next week.’

  ‘Teach,’ Angie corrected gently. ‘Mrs Poulton’s going to teach you.’

 

‹ Prev