Fighting with Shadows

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Fighting with Shadows Page 22

by Beryl Matthews


  There really wasn’t enough room to jive, so they paired off in couples and just shuffled round the floor. Angie danced with Bob, Joe and John as they all changed partners continually. There was a great deal of laughter as Dieter swung from one lively tune to another. He could play anything, and he blessed the talent. It had helped him through many troubled years.

  The party broke up about nine, as it was well past the children’s bedtime and they were getting tired and ratty.

  Dieter was relieved to see the Colonel leave when they all did, but he hadn’t missed the earnest conversation between him and Angie – or the brief kiss. Oh, hell!

  Dieter didn’t sleep well that night.

  23

  ‘Good morning, sir.’

  Bob, in his civilian clothes, glanced up from his newspaper to see that Hunt was wearing them as well. ‘Sergeant, join me for breakfast.’

  ‘Thank you, sir.’ Hunt spun a chair out from the table, sat down and ordered a cooked breakfast from the landlord’s daughter. The cheeky wink made her laugh as she walked away. ‘Any plans for today, sir?’

  ‘I’m taking Angie and Danny to do some Christmas shopping in Bridgewater. I’ll use the car.’

  ‘Do you need me to drive, sir?’

  ‘Good Lord, no. I’m quite capable of driving that distance.’ Bob gave his sergeant a quizzical look. ‘My poor leg will stand it for a few miles.’

  ‘Right, sir.’ Hunt smirked and tackled his breakfast as soon as it was put in front of him. ‘Good job you didn’t have to crawl through ditches in the mock battles. Being a Colonel kept you out of that.’

  A deep rumble of laughter echoed through Bob. ‘And being a sergeant didn’t do you any harm either, did it?’

  ‘No, wasn’t as bad as I thought it was going to be.’ Hunt pursed his lips. ‘You forgot to mention that I would be your batman and driver during the war games. But then you will have your little joke, sir.’

  When they’d reached West Germany and Hunt had discovered that he wouldn’t be forced on long marches or freezing in open trenches, his relief had been so great he had almost wept. The expression on his face was something Bob would remember for a long time. Hunt was a damned good driver but a reluctant soldier. Only compulsory National Service had dragged him into the forces. ‘I thought you needed to be reminded of what it was like to be a proper soldier.’

  Hunt’s shudder was visible. ‘Basic training was enough for me. Now, sir, have you decided how long we’ll be staying here?’

  ‘I’ll have to leave tomorrow afternoon about fifteen hundred hours. My parents are expecting me. You can drop me off in Wiltshire and keep the car for the duration of our leave. I’ll have my own car at home.’

  ‘Thanks, sir, I’ll go straight on to London, then. I’ll be able to take my sister’s nippers out for a ride, if that’s all right with you.’

  ‘Just bring the car back in one piece when you collect me on the second of January.’ Bob stood up. ‘You have plans for today?’

  ‘Yes, sir.’ Hunt glanced over at the landlord’s daughter and gave her another sly wink.

  ‘I’ll see you in the morning, then.’ Bob shrugged into his topcoat and left the pub. It was only a short drive up the road to Angie’s. They had arranged this trip last night, and, as he pulled up outside her cottage, Danny burst out to meet him.

  ‘Where’s your uniform?’ Danny’s salute froze halfway in disappointment.

  ‘I decided not to wear it today.’ He came to attention and saluted, making Danny giggle and bring his hand up sharply.

  Angie joined them, smiling at their antics. ‘Good morning. You can’t salute out of uniform.’

  ‘Yes, he can,’ Danny said. ‘He’s a big officer now and can do what he likes.’

  ‘Don’t I wish.’ That made Bob chuckle as he held the passenger door open for Angie. He couldn’t resist kissing her on the cheek. She really was quite lovely, with the pale winter sun making her beautiful chestnut hair come alive with a multitude of hues. He was drawn to her and had to find out if he could feel more than affection for this charming girl. And, if he did, would he want to marry again? There were rather too many obstacles facing them. The age gap, for one. Then there was his army career, which would mean they wouldn’t have a permanent home for some years. And not forgetting Danny and Dieter – now there was a complication! He really should walk away from all of them, but he couldn’t seem to do it.

  He slid into the driver’s seat and started the car. This was not the time to mull over the possibilities. They were going to have a relaxing day out.

  ‘Uncle Bob.’ Danny was wriggling about on the back seat, unable to keep still with excitement. ‘I’ve got money to buy presents. Granny and Grandpa give it to me.’

  ‘I’m sure we’ll find some lovely things for you to buy.’

  Danny chatted all the way to Bridgewater, giving Angie and Bob little time to talk to each other. He was a lively and obviously talented little boy, but Bob suspected that he was quite demanding. Angie had certainly taken on a big responsibility when her cousin had died so tragically, but he had never heard her complain or seem anything but delighted at the prospect of bringing up the child. He suspected that she loved him unreservedly, and would make any sacrifice to see him happy. She really was a rather special girl.

  Bridgewater was busy, but Bob managed to park near the shops. It was Saturday morning, and the place was crowded. There remained an air of austerity about, even four years after the end of the war. Food was still rationed, but clothes rationing was lifted last February. Petrol remained in short supply, but Bob’s car was an official army vehicle, so they were all right, and his father seemed to manage on his ration by using the car only occasionally. Shops had been decorated, though, and some of the colourful displays had Danny beaming in delight.

  Bob couldn’t stop his thoughts returning to Berlin, and the whole of Europe. Rebuilding was a huge task, and he wondered how long it would be before many of the towns and cities looked like this again. Poor devils like Cramer had lost everything, and there were countless thousands like him … Danny’s voice broke through his thoughts.

  ‘Look!’ He was pointing. ‘There’s a picture of Father Christmas. What does it say?’

  Bob swept Danny up. ‘It says, “Come in and see Father Christmas.” Do you want to meet him?’

  Danny nodded, beaming in excitement.

  There was a queue of children, so Bob paid the sixpence required to see Father Christmas and wandered off to buy a couple of presents of his own. He found what he wanted and was back in half an hour.

  Danny was just coming out of the hut, his face gleaming, clutching a brightly wrapped present. He was talking to Angie and jumping up and down. Bob watched them for a couple of minutes, feeling more than a pang of regret that he’d never had children. Perhaps he ought to consider marrying again before he was too old. Affection and liking would be enough for him; he’d had the wild passion, and that had ended in bitterness. He would look for a very different marriage second time around. His step faltered when he realized he was actually considering it.

  Danny spotted him and waved a package. ‘I’ve got a present!’

  Bob strode over and stooped down to Danny’s level. ‘Do you know what it is?’

  The boy shook his head. ‘I’m gonna keep it for Christmas. Grandma’s having a huge Christmas tree to put all the presents round.’

  ‘You don’t have to keep it, darling,’ Angie told him.

  ‘You can open it now if you want to.’

  ‘I’ll keep it.’ He gave it to Angie to put in her shopping bag, and then fished in his pocket for his money. ‘I want to buy Em and Dieter a present. Have I got enough money, Auntie?’

  ‘Plenty. You’ve got three shillings and sixpence.’

  ‘Come on, my boy.’ Bob picked up Danny so they could make their way through the crowds.

  ‘Am I your boy?’ Danny stared at him, puzzled.

  ‘Of course you are.’ Bob weaved his
way through the crowds. ‘What did you think of Father Christmas?’

  ‘He had a funny beard and something stuffed up his coat to make him look fat. I know ’cos I saw it sticking out.’ He whispered in Bob’s ear, ‘I want to buy Auntie a present too.’

  ‘What do you think she’d like?’

  ‘Dunno.’

  ‘Well, let’s have a cup of tea while we think about it.’

  The day went quickly. Bob found presents for his parents, younger brother and other members of his family. Angie had a bag full of purchases, and Danny had a scarf for Dieter, a colouring book and pencils for Emma, and a pair of bright red woollen gloves for Angie. These had cost more than Danny had, but Bob had slipped some of his own money in without the boy’s noticing.

  By the time they arrived back at the cottage, Danny was fast asleep. Bob picked him up from the back seat and kicked the car door shut as he straightened up, hitching the child into a more comfortable position. Angie was rummaging through her bag, searching for her door key. He looked over her shoulder, resting his chin on the top of her head. ‘Lost it?’

  ‘I know it’s here somewhere. Ah, here it is.’ She held it up triumphant.

  A feeling of being watched made Bob look up as Angie opened the door. His eyes locked with Dieter’s. He was standing a few yards away, absolutely still, his gaze on Danny’s sleeping figure in Bob’s arms.

  ‘Dieter!’ Angie had also seen him. ‘Come in and have a cup of tea with us.’

  There was only a slight shake of his head before he turned on his heel and walked away.

  ‘Why didn’t he come in?’ Angie frowned. ‘He didn’t look well.’

  ‘I have a feeling he was upset to see me with you and Danny.’ The front door was open now, and they made their way into the kitchen, where it was warmer. The old black leaded grate was always alight and kept the small room very cosy.

  Angie immediately put the kettle on to make tea. ‘But he must understand that I will have friends, and Danny will know them as well.’

  ‘I expect he finds it hard to accept.’ Bob spoke softly so as not to awaken Danny.

  ‘I know, and I don’t want to do anything to upset him, but I do have a right to a life of my own, don’t I?’ She chewed her lip and looked at him with pleading eyes. ‘Must I always be on my own because he can’t bear to see another man with Danny?’

  ‘I’m sure he wouldn’t expect that of you, however much he may wish it. He’s a reasonable man, Angie. Talk this over with him.’

  She sighed. ‘I’ll have to do that. Now we must get Danny to bed. He’s tired out after such a lovely day.’

  Bob carried him upstairs and watched as Angie put the sleeping child into his pyjamas, tucked him in and kissed his head gently. All this had been accomplished with only an occasional mutter of irritation from Danny, but he hadn’t woken. Bob could see by her tenderness that although she hadn’t given birth to the child, he was her son. There was no mistaking that. As she bent over the bed, with the soft light from the small lamp on her face, it became very clear what he was missing by not having a family of his own. His wife, Sylvia, had never wanted children. That had been a mistake, because she might have stayed with him if they’d had a family. No point thinking about it now. That part of his life was over, and, standing here watching Angie with the child, he could hardly remember what she had looked like. Their love had been passionate and explosive, but they hadn’t been right for each other. It would have come to an end when the passion died.

  Angie patted the bed covers, straightened up and smiled at Bob standing quietly just inside the door. She put her fingers to her lips. ‘He’s still fast asleep.’

  They went back to the kitchen, and she took a milk saucepan out of the cupboard. ‘Would you like a hot drink?’

  He walked over to her, placed his hands on her shoulders and rested his forehead against hers. ‘What am I going to do about you, Auntie Angel?’

  She lifted her head until their lips were almost touching. ‘I really don’t know. Only you can answer that.’

  Lowering his head the last couple of inches, he brushed his lips gently over hers. Then he eased back, a question in his eyes. ‘What I’d like to do is take you back upstairs and make love to you.’

  Her head moved slowly from side to side. ‘You’re a very attractive man, Bob Strachan, but all that’s on offer here is cocoa.’

  ‘I thought that’s what you’d say.’ He gave a dramatic sigh, lifted his hands in acceptance and stepped away from her, his lips quirked in a rueful smile. ‘Cocoa it is, then. Though I must warn you that I’m finding it very hard to walk away from you.’

  ‘And that’s a problem?’ She poured milk into the saucepan and put it on the stove, not looking at him. Their friendship was changing to something more affectionate, and she hadn’t missed the thoughtful expression in his eyes when he’d looked at her and Danny.

  ‘It could be.’

  He said no more and she didn’t ask. She knew his background, and also knew how difficult it would be for him to form another deep relationship after the failure of his marriage. As for her own feelings? Well, like him, she wasn’t sure. They would both have to wait and see how things worked out.

  Dieter walked slowly back towards the farm, head down, as a feeling of hopelessness swept through him.

  If he’d ever had any doubt about the Colonel’s intentions towards Angie, they had been swept aside by the intimate scene he had just witnessed. The picture of them outside the cottage, loaded with parcels and standing so close together, was burnt into his memory. And his son’s little arms around Strachan’s neck, fast asleep.

  He’d had to fight the need to rush up and take Danny away from him. He is my son, he had wanted to shout. I should be holding him, not you! You have so much. Must you take Angie and my son away from me as well?

  But he hadn’t. Strachan was an affluent man, able to give them such a lot, whereas he had only the things he stood up in, and most of them had come from the Colonel. He shouldn’t begrudge his child and Angie the security that man could give them – but he did!

  Dieter straightened up. He had no money, no home, and little prospect for the immediate future. He was grateful to the Sawyers for giving him a job and a place in their home, but he had nothing that he could give his son – except his great love. He hadn’t even known this little member of his family existed until a few weeks ago, and he could still feel the joy he had experienced on finding him. But was he now going to be expected to stand aside and let him go to another man?

  Everything in Dieter rebelled at that idea. He couldn’t do it, nor should anyone expect such a sacrifice from him. He had already lost three years. He had never seen his first smile, first step, or heard his first words.

  Spinning round, he began to walk back the way he had come. A strong drink was what he needed to calm the tumult inside him. Slipping his hand in his pocket, he stopped and swore fluently in his own language, angry now. After paying for Danny’s piano lessons this week, he didn’t have enough money left for even a pint of beer.

  He had to do something!

  Without knowing how he had reached there, he was in front of the farmhouse again. The first thing he did when he walked into the kitchen was look for the latest local newspaper.

  ‘Hello, Dieter.’ Hetty came in. ‘You’re back early. I thought you were going to see Danny.’

  ‘They are with the Colonel. Mrs Sawyer, do you have a recent local newspaper?’

  ‘It’s in the front room, I expect.’ She studied him thoughtfully. ‘Why would Bob’s being there stop you from seeing Danny?’

  ‘I would have been in the way.’ Without waiting for her reply, he swept into the other room and picked up the newspaper. ‘May I borrow this, Mr Sawyer?’

  ‘Of course. You don’t need to ask, Dieter.’

  ‘What do you want it for in such a hurry?’ Hetty had followed him into the front room.

  ‘I need work as a pianist. In the evenings, of course,
when I’ve finished my duties here.’ Dieter saw their concerned expressions and threw his hands up in a gesture of hopelessness. ‘I have to earn some more money in case I need it in the future.’

  Hetty looked alarmed. ‘What’s happened, Dieter? You know we’d help in any way we can.’

  ‘You are both very kind, but I have to rebuild my life – make it more secure. I can’t waste any more time.’

  ‘I see.’ Hetty glanced at her silent husband, who was shaking his head sadly.

  ‘I do not think you do, Mrs Sawyer.’

  As he strode out of the room he heard Hetty say, ‘There’s trouble, John.’

  It took Dieter only two days to find a job. It was in a rather smart club on the outskirts of Bridgewater. The pay wasn’t huge, but it would be a big help. John had insisted that he take the truck, as he didn’t finish until midnight and there wouldn’t have been any public transport. He was grateful for their understanding and support, and he made sure he worked hard for them during the day, no matter how tired he was feeling.

  After another long day and evening, he crept up the stairs, not wanting to wake them. He wasn’t needed at the club until Christmas Eve now, which was just as well because there was the Carol Concert tomorrow evening and he wouldn’t like to let the Rector or the village down. Everyone was so looking forward to it.

  24

  The Carol Concert last night had been wonderful, and Angie smiled to herself as she unpacked their things in the bedroom they were using over Christmas. Danny and Emma had been allowed to stay up late, and the candles and the singing had entranced them. There had been cups of tea afterwards and much laughter as the villagers got into the Christmas spirit. Everyone had appreciated Dieter’s playing.

  ‘Come on, Auntie.’ Danny dragged her downstairs to put the presents round the tree. It was a splendid sight, covered in sparkling decorations, making Danny crow with delight.

  ‘When do we open the presents?’ he asked.

 

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