Fighting with Shadows

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Fighting with Shadows Page 35

by Beryl Matthews


  Joe came in first and Angie reached up to kiss his cheek. ‘Congratulations, Joe. Sally’s just told me your wonderful news.’

  ‘Thanks.’ He couldn’t have looked happier. ‘We’re very pleased.’

  Bob arrived next, but there was no sign of Dieter. Angie looked out of the door and found him waiting outside.

  ‘May I come in, please?’

  She didn’t know whether to laugh or cry. He was taking her at her word and not coming in unless she invited him. ‘Oh, Dieter, you mustn’t take what I said in the heat of anger seriously, of course you can come in.’

  Danny hadn’t missed the little charade and was frowning. ‘Why does Daddy ask if he can come in, Auntie?’

  As Dieter passed his son’s chair, he smoothed his hand over the boy’s hair. ‘I did something bad and made your auntie angry. She told me off and I’ve got to be careful what I do until she forgives me.’

  Danny was wide-eyed with disbelief. ‘But Auntie’s never angry.’

  ‘She was yesterday.’ Bob controlled a grin. ‘She shouted at us.’

  ‘Both of you?’ When they nodded, Danny huffed out a breath. ‘Did she shout loud?’

  ‘Very.’ Bob nodded. ‘We were naughty and deserved a telling-off.’

  He still seemed to be having trouble believing this astonishing piece of news. ‘Auntie doesn’t shout at me, and I’m naughty sometimes.’ He swivelled round to look at Angie, who was dishing up the lunch. ‘Do you, Auntie?’

  ‘No, darling.’ She didn’t dare look round because she was nearly crying with laughter. All her anger had melted away during the night. The embarrassment of blurting out that she loved Dieter would take longer to disappear.

  ‘That’s because you’re a little boy.’ Bob winked at Danny. ‘Just wait until you grow up.’

  Danny gazed around at all the smiling faces and giggled. ‘P’haps I’d better stay little.’

  This produced roars of laughter and Angie joined in, not being able to help herself. But the thought that she might have lost her darling boy still made her heart race in panic. Because she had fallen in love with Dieter, she had relaxed and become too trusting. Of course, she now knew that he had not been in any danger; that Dieter would never have kidnapped his son. And that is what she had accused him of doing. That had been unjust of her, but the only excuse she had was that fear had stopped her seeing the truth. Dieter had been in the wrong, though, for taking Danny without telling her. But Bob hadn’t, and she must apologize to him before he left.

  ‘Mummy’s ’specting,’ Emma announced to everyone.

  ‘I’m gonna have a brother or sister.’ She didn’t seem to think that was a very good idea. ‘If I don’t like it, Mummy can take it back.’

  ‘It won’t be up to you, my girl,’ Joe admonished. ‘You’ll be able to help Mummy look after it.’

  Emma chased a pea around her plate. ‘S’pose.’ Successfully spearing the elusive pea, she popped it into her mouth, looked up and grinned. ‘We can give it a go on our see-saw.’

  ‘When’s it coming?’ Danny was much more interested in the thought of another playmate.

  ‘Not until October,’ Sally told them.

  ‘That’s a long time.’ Danny leant towards Sally, who was on the other side of the table. ‘Why’s it gonna be that long?’

  ‘We’ve had to put in an order.’ Joe kept a perfectly straight face. ‘And there’s a long waiting list.’

  ‘A big bird brings it in a bag.’ Emma was proud of this knowledge. ‘I’ve seen a picture in a book.’

  ‘Cor.’ Danny was impressed. ‘We’ll have to see that.’

  ‘Yeah, Mummy’ll tell us when it’s coming.’ Emma turned her attention to Dieter. ‘When can we have a go on the see-saw?’

  ‘Not until tomorrow. We have to wait for the concrete to dry.’

  ‘Okay, thanks for building it. It looks smashing.’

  ‘It was our pleasure, Princess.’

  It began to rain in the afternoon, so the men rushed out to cover the concrete before it got too wet. Then they all crowded into Angie’s small front room and listened to Dieter play. The time passed in a happy and relaxed atmosphere. This was just what Angie needed after the trauma of the day before.

  Joe, Sally and Emma left around seven, and Bob and Dieter stayed until nine o’clock, when Danny was fast asleep.

  ‘I’m catching an early train in the morning, Angie, so I’ll say goodbye now.’ Bob bent over her chair and kissed her cheek. ‘It’s been an interesting couple of days, and I’m sorry if I’ve made things difficult for you. That was not my intention.’

  She grimaced and stood up. ‘I must apologize for my behaviour yesterday. I took my fear out on you and that wasn’t right.’

  ‘Think nothing of it.’ Then he said quietly, ‘You can trust him, you know.’

  She nodded, knowing full well that that was true, but yesterday her fear had overruled all common sense.

  Bob turned to Dieter and held out his hand. ‘When I go back I’ll be stopping off in Frankfurt to meet my father – would you like me to give your sister a message?’

  ‘Please, if you would.’ Dieter shook his hand. ‘Thank her for her letters – she has been writing twice a week – and tell her I’m pleased she is happy again.’

  ‘I’ll do that. Take care of Angie and Danny.’

  ‘I will, and thank you, Colonel.’

  ‘What for?’ Bob raised an eyebrow in query.

  ‘For everything you and your family have done for me.’

  Bob slapped him on the back, smiled at Angie, and left.

  Dieter remained on his feet after the front door had closed. ‘I wish to apologize for my thoughtless actions yesterday. I can assure you that it will never happen again. It saddens me to know you thought me capable of doing such harm to you and Danny. I would never take him away from you. It would break his heart.’

  She was touched by his sincerity and wanted to explain. ‘I thought my worst nightmare had come true, and when I found he was missing I immediately assumed that you’d taken him. I’m sorry about that, but I wasn’t the only one, was I? You saw me with Bob and also jumped to the wrong conclusion.’

  ‘I admit that, and it clouded my judgement at the time.’ He reached out tentatively for her hand. ‘I beg your forgiveness.’

  ‘We need to forgive each other.’ Walking over to the fireplace, she picked up the key and held it out to him. ‘I want you to have this back.’

  ‘Thank you, Angie. That is gracious of you.’ He curled his fingers round the key, then stepped back. ‘May I see Danny on my way home from school tomorrow?’

  ‘We will wait until you get here and then you must have tea with us.’

  ‘Thank you. Good night, Angie.’

  She watched him stride up the road and felt wretched. He was such a gentleman, and she had been unduly harsh with him. But in her anger she had blurted out her feelings for him, and that was embarrassing. What must he think of her? She had seen his expression. It had been one of disbelief and, yes, horror. Her outburst had complicated things further.

  Resting her forehead on the window, she could have wept. After her unrestrained outburst, Dieter was keeping his distance. He was polite, as always, but had said nothing about her declaration that she loved him. She was making a terrible mess of everything, except of being a mother to Danny. When everything else around her was in shambles, she could be pleased with her efforts to see that her darling boy was happy.

  The next day Dieter bought a bunch of daffodils at a shop near the station. He had wanted so much to kiss her yesterday, to tell her how overjoyed he was that she loved him, but the atmosphere between them was strained at the moment. She was embarrassed, he knew that, and it was up to him to put things right between them.

  He knocked on the front door, clutching the flowers in both hands. When the door opened, he held them out to her, feeling like an awkward boy. ‘I bought these for you. They were so lovely.’ When he saw her startled expr
ession, he thought he had done the wrong thing and felt a fool. He wasn’t very good at this. During the years when he should have been dating girls and learning how to court, as the Colonel suggested, he had been locked in a POW camp.

  She took the flowers from him. ‘You’re right; they are very pretty. Thank you.’

  He breathed a silent sigh of relief as she stepped aside to allow him in.

  ‘Danny’s upstairs washing his hands and changing his trousers; he won’t be long.’ She gave a hesitant smile. ‘I’ll just go and put these in a vase.’

  When she left the room he went over to the piano and examined the exercises Mrs Poulton had given Danny. He nodded in approval. She was a good teacher and taking it slowly. It wouldn’t be right to rush a child of Danny’s age. In another year he would take over the lessons himself.

  Still standing, his fingers ran idly over the keys. His son would need a better piano too. He would start saving for that.

  ‘Dieter.’

  He looked up. ‘I apologize; I did not hear you come back. Danny is doing well with his lessons, and shows no sign of becoming tired of the discipline needed to learn to play well.’

  ‘So Mrs Poulton tells me, and he does love it.’ She put the vase of bright yellow flowers on the mantel-piece and stood back to admire them. ‘Were you the same at his age?’

  ‘Yes.’ His smile was gentle. ‘My mother said I could play almost before I could walk. But that was a mother’s exaggeration, I expect. She was a fine musician and encouraged me, sending me to a school renowned for nurturing musical talent.’

  ‘We must see that Danny has the same chance, if that is what he wants.’ Spinning round suddenly to face him, her eyes wide with pain, she said, ‘I’m sorry for losing my temper and saying such nasty things to you. I shouldn’t have doubted you like that, but I was so very frightened, Dieter.’

  ‘You had every right to be angry. What I did was wrong.’ He stepped forward and drew her towards him. ‘Angie –’

  ‘Daddy!’ Danny erupted into the room, all smiles. ‘Our see-saw’s smashing. Auntie had a go, as well, didn’t you?’

  Dieter released her and stepped back.

  ‘I did, with you and Emma on one end and me on the other. It was fun.’ Angie gazed lovingly at his animated face. ‘Are your hands clean?’

  He held them out for her to inspect, and when she nodded he showed them to Dieter. ‘I got them very dirty and had to rub hard to get them clean. My fingers are growing, aren’t they?’

  ‘They most certainly are.’ Dieter made a point of measuring his son’s fingers against his own. ‘You have a way to go yet, but you are growing all over.’

  ‘Yeah.’ He looked up at his tall father. ‘I’m gonna be just like you.’

  ‘He’s grown almost two inches in the last few weeks,’ Angie told Dieter, not hiding the pride in her voice. ‘All the fresh air, exercise and good food have done wonders for him.’

  ‘Yes.’ Dieter spoke softly. ‘Jane would have been proud to see what a fine boy he is growing into.’

  ‘She loved him with every fibre of her being.’ Angie’s eyes clouded with sadness as she looked at Dieter. ‘And she loved you.’

  ‘I did not deserve such unselfish love after the way I allowed her to walk out of my life.’ He knew the shame would always be with him, but he couldn’t change the past.

  Angie rested her hand on his arm. ‘It’s all done with now and we must move on. Jane would have expected us to do that.’

  ‘You are right.’ He covered her hand with his, holding it in place, and watched his son, who had gone over to the piano while they had been talking. ‘The future is what matters now.’

  She stood on tiptoe and kissed his cheek, smiling up at him, then she held her hand out to Danny. ‘Come on, darling, time for tea. You can play for Daddy later.’

  While Angie was washing up, Dieter and Danny were in the front room, talking about, and playing, music. Listening to his son showing him what he had learnt, Dieter smiled gently – not only at the delight of seeing Danny enthusiastic about music but because of Angie’s changed attitude towards him. He knew he had been completely forgiven and was anxious to advance their relationship.

  Angie came into the room and the next couple of hours passed quickly, with Danny taking up much of their attention. But it didn’t stop him from curling his fingers around her small hand as they sat on the settee listening while Danny told them what he’d been doing at the church hall and with Emma.

  She didn’t try to pull her hand away but leant against him, smiling.

  ‘Ich liebe dich’, he murmured softly.

  ‘That sounds lovely. What does it mean?’ Angie gazed up at him.

  ‘I will tell you when we are alone.’ He pulled her closer, running his fingers through her hair, making his feelings quite clear to her.

  ‘Tell us now, Daddy.’ Danny picked up on it immediately and scrambled on to the settee, squeezing between them.

  ‘It means, I love you,’ he said, giving Angie a glance over his son’s head, relieved to see her colour slightly and hold his gaze, her mouth turning up in a smile.

  ‘Teach me to say it.’ He was leaning on Dieter. ‘Then I can say it to Auntie as well.’

  There was much laughter as Danny struggled to say it just like his father. But it didn’t take him long to make a passable attempt at the unfamiliar words.

  Although Dieter treasured every moment with his son, just for once he wanted to be alone with Angie. He loved her so much and wanted her to know it.

  When it was time for Danny to go to bed, he went without protest.

  Alone at last, Dieter slipped his arm around Angie, looking at her earnestly. ‘I really do love you, Angie.’

  Then he kissed her, pouring out his feelings in the long embrace, talking to her in his own language. She didn’t understand the words, but his meaning was clear.

  ‘Oh, Dieter, I’m so very happy,’ she said as the kiss ended and she settled in his arms. Her sigh, though, held a sad note.

  ‘Something is worrying you, my darling.’

  She laid her head on his shoulder. ‘Danny’s birthday will soon be here, and I don’t want the bad memories to surface. Now it is so close, I can’t get it out of my mind. Sally told me they’ve found Joe’s magician’s stuff and he’s practising hard for the birthday party. He has to wait until Emma is in bed, otherwise she’d tell Danny, and that would spoil the surprise. I hope it’s going to make it a special and happy day for him.’

  This was the opening Dieter had been looking for and he decided to take a chance. There had been much wasted time in his life, and he was determined to change that now. ‘There is a way we could make it a perfect day for him and us.’

  ‘Oh?’ She sat forward eagerly. ‘How?’

  ‘We could make his birthday our wedding day.’ He waited, watching the play of emotions across her face. His heart thudded while she stared at him, absolutely still. It was almost as if she had stopped breathing.

  He brought her hands to his lips and kissed them. ‘When I saw how well you were caring for Danny, I could not help falling in love with you. However, I did not believe you could ever feel the same way about me. You must have hated me for leaving Jane.’

  She pulled a face and tightened her grip on his hands. ‘Once I’d met you and heard the whole story, I understood.’

  ‘Then marry me, Angie,’ he urged. ‘Let us make a proper family for all of us and marry on his birthday. That would make him very happy. I would be a good husband to you, my dearest, for my love is great, and together we can face the future and leave the shadows behind us.’

  He waited then, knowing she needed time to think, because this was a big step he was asking her to take. He could only pray she loved him enough to accept.

  When she remained silent he knew there was one more thing he needed to clear up. He spoke clearly. ‘My love for Jane was very different from my feelings for you. I had been a prisoner for years and freedom was a heady e
xperience. Jane treated me like a normal human being and I grabbed at the chance of being a young man again. The letters from my family had stopped coming and I was dreadfully worried about them. Jane’s love and laughter helped me, and I took advantage of her. I am not proud of that.’

  Angie gazed at him, searching his face. ‘But you loved her?’

  ‘Yes, I did, as much as I was capable of at that troubled time. I would have stayed in touch, but she sent me away. I was hurt and puzzled, but of course now I understand why she did it.’

  ‘They were confused times, but I’m glad you loved her.’

  ‘I did, but my love for you is greater. I could never walk away from you, even if you ordered me to.’

  Much to his relief she smiled.

  ‘I wouldn’t do that.’ She pursed her lips. ‘Danny’s birthday is less than four weeks away. We can’t possibly arrange a wedding in time, surely?’

  Dieter surged to his feet, bringing her with him. ‘Does that mean you will marry me?’

  ‘Yes,’ she laughed, throwing her arms around his neck.

  He spun her round and around, lifting her off the floor. ‘We shall see the Rector tomorrow and John and Hetty will help, so will Sally, I am sure. We will get it all done in time if we start at once.’

  He drew her into his arms and arrangements were forgotten for quite some time.

  38

  The next day Angie’s insides were still churning with excitement and happiness. The unbelievable had happened. Dieter loved her, not because she had adopted his son but for herself. He had explained his feeling for Jane and what had happened just after the war. She understood the turmoil in his life and could grasp, just a little, how he felt about being a prisoner for so many years. Wasted years of his youth. He had also shown how much he cared for her, leaving no room for doubt. Her smile was a touch self-conscious as she remembered his passion, and her response.

  It was hard to concentrate as the children in the church hall claimed her attention. These mornings were always lively.

 

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