by Glen Cook
Saved!
Damn it.
______ XI ______
"Do you have to, Garrett?" "You don't know Morley Dotes. If he comes here, it's important."
I had Amber about half pried loose when Dotes blew in. He stopped and gawked, then that sparkle flashed in his eye. I'm going to throw pepper in there someday just to get tears to wash it out.
"Down, boy. What's going on?"
Amber made a show of neatening herself up. I guess she knew she had it and couldn't help flaunting it.
"Your pal Saucerhead. He's in the Bledsoe carved up bad enough to kill a mammoth."
"Bound to happen in his line of work." Which was pretty much the same as Morley's less public line, so he gave me a sour look when he could steal a second from appreciating Amber. "How did it happen?"
"Don't have much yet. He staggered in from somewhere way the hell out in the country. They say he shouldn't have made it, but you know him. Too stubborn and stupid to die. They don't think he'll make it."
"Who does, down there? What the hell was he doing out in the boondocks?"
Morley gave me a funny look. "I thought you'd know. He left the place early last night because he had a job. Said you recommended him."
"Me? I never... Oh. Damn. I'd better get down there." I had butterflies the size of horses. Amiranda. Had to be.
"I'll stroll along with you, then. I haven't had my exercise today." Far be it from Morley Dotes to admit he had a friend anywhere in the known universe. As he turned to leave, Amber whispered, "Wait, Garrett." The music was out of her voice.
"Is it critical?"
"To me it is."
"Wait for me at the front door, Morley. So. Tell me."
"My brother came home this morning. They let him go."
"Good for him."
"That means Domina paid the ransom."
"Seems likely. So?"
"So there's two hundred thousand gold marks out there somewhere that belong to my family, that somebody couldn't yell about if it got taken away. Do you think you could find it?"
"Maybe. If I wanted to bad enough. A chunk like that, in the hands of amateurs, would leave a trail like a rogue mammoth. The trick would be getting to it before all the other sharpshooters in town."
"Help me find it, Garrett. You can have half."
"Whoa, girl. That's asking for big trouble with no guarantee of any—"
"This may be my first, last, and only chance to make a hit big enough to get away from my mother. If I could get that money before she comes home, I could disappear so thoroughly she couldn't find me with an army. You could do pretty good with a hundred thousand, too."
"That I could. That I could."
She posed. "And there are ancillary benefits, too."
"Yes. Yes indeed. I'll need some time to think about what I'd need and what I'd have to do. In the meantime, I've got a friend in the infirmary trying to die. I want to see him before he goes."
"Sure." She didn't sound thrilled to hear about obligations imposed by friendship. "I'll come back tomorrow if I can get away from Courter and his bullies. Next day for sure. Maybe you could give that old man the day off." She turned on the smile.
"Maybe I'll think about that too."
She giggled. "You do that."
I patted her fanny. "Come on. Off with you. My friend Morley will be getting impatient." I followed her to the front door. There is nothing I can say to disparage the view from that perspective.
Dean was waiting to bolt up after me, which meant he had been eavesdropping again. I shot him an ugly glare, but it ricocheted like water off the proverbial duck.
Morley was waiting outside. While I stood listening to Dean shoot the bolts, we appreciated Amber's departure.
"Where do you find them, Garrett?"
"I don't. They find me."
"Bull feathers."
"It's true. I just sit here like a big old trapdoor spider and nab them when they walk by. Then I turn on the Garrett charm and they swoon into my arms."
"That one is no swooner, Garrett. The one the other night wasn't, either. High Hill fluff, both of them. Right?"
"Off the Hill. I wouldn't call them fluff."
"No. Probably not." He sighed. "Why doesn't something like that ever turn up at my place?"
"You're doing all right from what I see. Don't get your heart set on this one. You'd be asking for a visit from the whirlwind. Her mother is a Stormwarden."
"Another dream shattered by bitter reality. Still, it's a pity. A pity—that's sweet. Let's go see Saucerhead and find out which way to lay our bets."
______ XII ______
The Bledsoe infirmary is an imperial charity, meaning it's supposed to provide medical care for the indigent. If you're in the place, though, your chances improve a hell of a lot if you or a friend happen to come up with some cash. Human nature, I guess. I'm not always the biggest fan of my own species. They weren't going to let me near Saucerhead at first. He was supposedly in real bad shape and would be checking out very soon. Then somebody saw the flash of gold between my fingers and heard a hint or two about metal changing hands if the prognosis improved, and first thing you knew the whole infirmary had a new attitude. Zip! Morley and I were in Saucerhead's ward watching a gang of physicians and healers do their stuff.
Saucerhead looked terrible when they started, paper pale after losing what appeared to be several gallons of blood. He didn't look much better when they finished, but his breathing was steadier, less inclined to the characteristic sighs. I scattered a few marks and showed that I had a few more that might want to keep the others company. Saucerhead didn't do anything but breathe for a couple of hours. Good enough by me. That put us a few points up on Death.
Morley spoke only once the entire time we were waiting, in a tiny whisper. "If I ever get so desperate I come in here, you come cut my throat and put me out of my misery." The remark illuminated the side of Morley Dotes with a morbid dread of sickness. After this visit he would be on double rations, stoking up on green leafies and whatnot, for weeks.
Not that the Bledsoe was anybody's idea of heaven. One look around was enough to curdle a vampire's bones. And this was just a ward to die in. The insane wards are supposed to be ripped straight out of the dungeons of hell. I couldn't figure why Saucerhead had picked the Bledsoe. He was no tycoon but he wasn't a pauper, either.
We saw only one other vertical human being after the staff left, a priest who was probably the only decent human being working the Bledsoe. I knew him vaguely. He was one of the bigger names in one of the more obscure and bizarre of the several hundred cults hag-riding TunFaire. He came over and stared down at the huge slab of muscle that was Saucerhead Tharpe. There was a nobility about Tharpe even in his extremity. It recalled the nobility of the lion or the mammoth. A good guy to have on your side, a bad guy to have for an enemy, simple, trustworthy, and as tough as they make them.
"Has he had his rites?"
"I don't know, Father."
"What gods did he have?"
I put temptation aside. "None that I know about. But we don't need sacraments. This is a life watch, not a deathwatch. He's going to make it."
The priest checked the name chalked on the wall above the head of Saucerhead's cot. "I'll say a prayer for him." Small smile. "It never hurts, even with a sure thing." He went on to those who needed him more, leaving me with the suspicion I had been one-upped.
Saucerhead must have been awake awhile before he let us know. His first remark, a hoarse croak, was, "Garrett, remind me to stay the hell away from your women."
I grunted and waited.
"Getting that one out of the Cantard got me half killed. I thought this one did me all the way."
"Yeah. What the hell did you come here for? If you had go-power enough to make it this far, you could have got yourself to somebody who could have done you some good."
"I was born here, Garrett. I had it in my head I was done for and it seemed right it should end up where it started.
I guess I wasn't thinking too good."
"Yeah. You big dumb goof. Well, you're going to make it in spite of yourself and these jackals. You got enough energy to tell me what happened?"
"Yeah." His face darkened.
"So? What happened?"
"She's dead, Garrett! They killed her. I got five or six of them but they was too many and they got past me and cut her ..." And he started by god getting up off that cot.
"Hold him down, Morley. What the hell are you doing, Saucerhead?"
"I got to go. I never blowed a job like that before, Garrett. Never."
Morley put him back down with one hand. Saucerhead was running on spirit alone.
There were tears in his eyes. "She was just a little bit of a thing, Garrett. Sweet as a sugar bun and cute as a button. They shouldn't ought to have done that to her."
"You're right. They shouldn't have." Part of me had known the worst all along, but the part that wishes and hopes was just getting the word.
Saucerhead tried getting up again. "I got to, Garrett."
"You got to heal up. I'll take care of the rest. I've got an interest that came before yours. After you give me everything you've got, Morley is going to get you out of here and take you wherever you want to stay. And I'm going headhunting."
Morley gave me a look. He didn't say anything. He didn't have to.
"Don't you start playing devil's advocate, Morley Dotes, telling me there's no percentage in getting involved. You'd do the same damned thing even if you dressed it up as something else. Come on, Saucerhead. Give it to me. Start from the beginning, the first time you laid eyes on her."
Saucerhead may not be speedy mentally, but his mind gets where it needs to go. And he sees what goes on around him and remembers it.
"The first time I seen her was with you at Morley's Place. I thought to myself, How come a runt like Morley Dotes or a homely geek like Garrett always comes up with all the jewels?"
"He isn't dying," I said. "A sick sense of humor is the first thing that comes back. Imagine. Calling me homely. Never mind that night, Saucerhead. When did you see her again?"
"Yesterday afternoon. She tracked me down at my place."
She found him there and told him that I'd recommended him for any body guarding she needed done. She had a thing she wanted to do that night but she was nervous and scared and even though she was sure there would be no trouble, she thought it wouldn't hurt to have somebody along. Just in case. Just to make her more comfortable. After Saucerhead agreed to stick with her until she felt she didn't need him anymore. She went away until shortly before dusk, when she came back with a small open carriage.
"She have anything with her?"
"Bunch of cases in the back. The kind women stuff with clothes and things. She wasn't planning on coming back."
"Uhm. She say anything about what she was doing?"
That was the only time he was a little uncertain about what he ought to tell. He decided I needed everything. "She never said what she was up to. But she was going to meet somebody. And she wasn't planning on coming back."
"Then if you hadn't been along, she would've disappeared and nobody would've known what really happened." Gods. I blind myself with my own brilliance sometimes.
"Yeah. You going to let me tell it? Or should I catch a nap while you're jacking your jaw?"
"One more thing, then you can get on. Your payment. How and when?"
"Up front. I always make them pay up front... well, I almost made an exception for her. I took every coin she had, and then she was still half a mark short. I forgave her that and told her she should hold out part of the fee so she wouldn't short herself. But she said there was no problem, and when we got where we were going, I'd get my other half mark and maybe a nice bonus for being such a sweetheart."
"Yeah. That's Saucerhead Tharpe all over. A real sweetheart. All right. Go on."
They had moved out in the twilight, Saucerhead on horseback behind the carriage. He was lightly armed, but that wasn't unusual. He preferred to rely on his strength and speed. I didn't have to ask if he had seen anyone watching or following. He was looking for that and saw nothing. They left the city after dark and headed north at a leisurely pace, not doing any fancy switch backing, not hurrying, and not drawing any special attention. Because he rode behind the buggy most of the way, they didn't talk much. But there was a three-quarter moon and a clear sky, and he was able to tell she was getting more worried and nervous as the night wore on. She was thoughtful of him and the animals, pausing for several rests.
About three in the morning they came to a woodland crossroad a couple miles from the famous old battleground at Litchfield, where some say the old imperial bones still sometimes get up and stalk around in search of the man who betrayed their commander.
As is customary at important crossroads, there was a central grass diamond with its tutelary obelisk. Amiranda stopped next to the obelisk where her team could crop grass. She told Saucerhead they would wait there. As soon as the person she was meeting showed, he could head back to TunFaire.
Saucerhead dismounted. After working the kinks out he just stood leaning against the buggy, waiting. Amiranda had little to say. An hour dragged past. She became more worried by the minute. Saucerhead's feeble attempts to reassure her foundered on his ignorance. She believed her worst fears were coming true. The moon was about to depart the heavens and the east was lightening when Saucerhead realized they were no longer alone. An absence of the gossip of birds awakening tipped him off. He just had time to warn Amiranda before they charged out of the woods. The moment he saw them he knew they weren't just road agents.
"There was at least fifteen of them, Garrett. Ogres. Some of them with the pure blood, like you don't hardly never see no more. They had knives and sharp sticks and clubs and big bones and you could tell they was bent on murder. They was cussing in ogres on account of me being there. They wasn't expecting me."
Saucerhead wasn't clear himself on how it went after that, except that he got himself between the ogres and Amiranda, with his back against the buggy, and went to work with a knife and club of his own, and when he lost those, with bare hands and brute strength.
"I killed five or six, but there just ain't a whole lot any one man can do when he's outnumbered so bad. They just kept piling on me and hitting and cutting me. That girl, she didn't have enough sense to run. She tried to fight, too. But they dragged her down and cut on her... I thought I whipped them for a minute 'cause they all ran off. To the edge of the woods. But then I went down and couldn't get up again. Couldn't even move. They thought I was dead. They dragged me over and dumped me in the brush, then they dragged everyone else over, then they started going through the girl's stuff, cussing 'cause there wasn't nothing worth nothing, but they squabbled like sparrows over every piece anyway. And not once even thinking about helping their buddies that was hurt."
Then they heard someone coming. They scurried around cleaning up after themselves, then took off down the road with the buggy and Saucerhead's horse. About that time Saucerhead got himself together enough to get on his feet. He found Amiranda, scooped her up, and headed out.
"I wasn't thinking so good," he said. "I didn't want her to be dead so I didn't believe it. There's this witch I know that lives about three miles from there, back in the woods. I told myself if I could get the girl to her everything would be all right. And you know me. I get my mind set ..."
Yeah. I tried to picture it. Saucerhead half dead, still bleeding, stumbling through the woods carrying a dead woman. And after that, he walked all the way back to TunFaire so he'd be in the right place when he died. Asked a lot of questions then, mostly about the ogres and what they'd said when they'd thought him dead. He hadn't heard anything I could use. I got directions to the witch's hut.
Saucerhead was getting weaker then, but he was working himself up again. I told him, "You just relax. If I don't get it straightened out, you can take over when you're well again. Morley, I want you to get him ou
t of here. Come on. Morley will be back to get you, Saucerhead."
* * *
Morley finally spoke when we hit the street. "Nasty business."
"You heard of anybody getting rich since yesterday?"
"No." He gave me a look.
"Got any contacts in Ogre town?" If you aren't part ogre, you can't get the time of day down there. I had a couple of people I knew there but none I knew well enough to get any help on this.
"A few. But not anybody who'll tell me anything about a deal that has Raver Styx on the other end of it."
"That's my problem."
"You going out there to look around?"
"Maybe tomorrow. Got some loose ends to knot up around here first."
"Use some company when you go? I'm way behind on my exercise."
He pretended he was interested in anything but what interested him. "I don't think so. And somebody has to stay here and keep reminding Saucerhead that he's hurt."
"It got personal, eh?"
"Very."
"You be careful out there."
"Damned right I will. And you keep your ears open. I'm interested in news about ogres and news about anybody with a sudden pocketful of gold."
We parted. I went home and wrapped myself around a couple gallons of beer.
______ XIII _____
The dead man's mood hadn't soured by the next morning. I got worried. Were we getting to the beginning of the end? I didn't know enough about the Loghyr to be sure what sort of symptom persistent good humor might be. I told him about Saucerhead, leaving out none of the details. "That give you any ideas?"
Several. But you have not given me enough information to form more than one definite opinion.
"A definite one? You? What is it?"
Your little overnight treat was involved up to her cute little ears in the kidnapping of the Stormwarden's son. If not a part of the conspiracy itself, she did at least have guilty knowledge.
I didn't argue. I had formed that suspicion myself. It was good to know I had a mind nearly as agile as his, if not so absolute in its decisions. But him being a genius exempts him from the doubts plaguing us mere mortals.