by Xyla Turner
Good, he hadn't heard.
This bitch was fucking delusional and his loyalty would be to her no matter what.
It was his older sister who always seemed sick if he showed me any sort of attention. Therefore, I often made myself scarce and only came over when it was night or something. She was a cock blocker if I ever met one.
The only person I could tell was Kylie who thought I should say something to Bear. She extended my two weeks after Bear gave me the key, but this shit was getting out of hand.
It all hit the fan when I was at Bears cooking dinner and Carol refused to eat claiming she wasn't hungry. It was my day off so I knew for a fact she hadn't eaten.
“Bear, Carol hasn't had a thing all day.”
“What the fuck,” he growled. “Something might be wrong.”
He went to the bottom of the steps and yelled, “Carol, what the fuck? Dinner is ready.”
This woman came to the top of the stairs and yelled, “I'm not eating anything from the voodoo priestess.”
What in the fuck?
Bear turned to me and his face frowned. “What?”
My mouth was wide open.
“Carol, what the fuck are you yammering on about. Are you ill?”
She made her way down the steps, pointed to me and said, “Her. She practices voodoo. That's how she has you under her spell. Jeb told me.”
“Jeb,” I gasped. “What?”
“I'm not eating a goddamn thing she cooks. He said she sees things and she has powers.” Carol kept accusing me.
“What is she talking about Dessy?” Bear turned and asked me.
Tears panged my eyes because the look on his face was exactly why I never said anything to him in the first place.
“I knew you were a sniveling conniving bitch trying to bamboozle my brother.”
“Carol,” Bear growled.
“I'm telling you. I knew it was something with her. She's too fucking young and acting all sweet. Something ain't right. Why you?”
At that point, I was absolutely mortified. My hands went up and I said, “You win, Carol.”
“Dessy,” Bear called for me but I kept walking towards the couch to grab my purse. Then Bear bellowed my name again, “Dessy!”
That stopped me in my tracks and he barked, “You walk out that door, we’re going to have problems. Now, are you going to explain?”
Tears were pouring out of my eyes and I could barely see but I would not explain a fucking thing to that bitch.
I turned with my keys in hand, purse over my shoulder, lifted my hands in surrender and said, “I’m throwing in my deck. You’ve won.”
Then I left and no one followed me.
Half of me was tempted to go to my house, but instead I went home to my mom. She would judge me, I knew, but I had to leave Manor and maybe for good. If that bitch was walking around telling people I was a voodoo priestess, then I could never live that shit down. Where the fuck did she get that from? Jeb couldn't have possibly said that about me but then again, who the hell knew.
He had been hanging around the Guardians a lot lately but I’d thought we were cool. We even talked a few times but I kept those conversations short and brief. Bear did not play all of that shit and I never wanted to give him a reason to worry.
"Dessy?" My mom called to me. "I've been calling you."
"I know, Mama. Couldn't really talk at the time."
She was on the couch watching the news like she always was at eleven o'clock at night.
"You running from some boy?" she asked.
My head turned towards her as I plopped on the couch. "He's no boy."
"I reckon not, with the salt and pepper beard."
Fuck, she must have had a dream.
"You looked happy. I'm surprised to see you."
The tears started to come again and this time I didn't bother wiping them.
"I was."
To my surprise, my mom said, "If you're happy, then sometimes Dessy, you need to fight for that happiness. Not be so quick to give up."
I blinked several times at her words. "I'm not quick to give up, Mama."
"Oh, Dessy, yes you are. That's sort of your M.O. Things get tough and Dessy is gone. It has served you good in some respects, but others, not so much."
My mind went back to some of those times she was talking about and my response. Even recently, when I decided to start looking at apartment and jobs in Mekatown. I’d usually pick flight. Shit, even going to Manor was an escape, though it was probably the best decision I had made. I would have dreams and try to prove them wrong by ignoring them or acting like I didn't know the meaning. I knew, but I was determined to do what I wanted. Now the time, I had a dream, understood the meaning and went after it, at the first sign of trouble, I left. But it was bigger than Bear, that woman was about to ruin my reputation in the entire town.
A goddamn voodoo priestess?
I couldn't show my face.
"Sometimes, Dessy. Those times being now, you need to fight for your happiness," my mom repeated.
My head nodded. "You're right Mom, but not tonight."
I yawned and stood to kiss her on the cheek.
"Night, dear," she called. "Also, I want to meet this one."
She'd get no response from me because while I may have fought to stay in Manor, fighting against the wicked sister of the west was another story. Competing against a sibling? Nope. I did not feel like I should set myself up for failure. No matter what the dream was.
The next day my mom and I went out shopping, visiting the Amish country and bought a whole bunch of shit. We didn't talk about Manor, Bear or the situation. Instead we discussed life in general and she commented on how much I’d settled down since I moved.
Overall, it was a good day until she said, "This was great, dear. Now, you got to go back and face the music."
"I know, Mama." My hand clutched the freshly squeezed lemonade. "I know."
Bear:
Dessy left.
Tears rolling down her face and not a smile in sight.
My smile.
"Carol, talk," I barked.
"She's no good for you, Bear. I mean, come on. Did you think you would ride off into the sunset with a twenty-year-old bimbo?"
"Fucking watch your mouth," I growled.
"Bear," she sighed. "Come on. Look at the difference. She wants something. Mark my words. Jeb said she liked to party hard. Even did some of the hard stuff. Said she had a dream that some guy had set him up and was coming to look for them, so they left. The dream turned out to be true and where does that happen, unless she set it up herself or she is into that voodoo shit." She was shaking her head. "I'm telling you. Good riddance. You don't need that in your life. You don't need her."
"Fuck, Carol." My mind was racing. "Did he say voodoo?"
"Well, no, but that shit don't happen except in some paranormal books or those folks that practice voodoo."
"Where the fuck did you get this shit from?" I was yelling. "She doesn't practice voodoo."
"It's been what a few months, now?" She shifted her weight to one side of her hip. "How well do you really know her? She came here because she was involved in some bad shit. She could even be an addict..."
"Enough," I bellowed at her. "You don't know her."
My legs stalked toward the door. "And you're wrong. I do need her."
All this shit sounded crazy.
After riding around her house and seeing it was dark with no cars in the driveway, I kept going looking to find Jeb or better yet, Shay. I stopped by Peppers but no one was there. Then I remembered, Jeb had been hanging around the compound, so when I rolled up and yelled his name, folks thought there would be a fight.
"Bear, everything alright?" Razor came out of his office.
"No, I need Jeb."
"He's talking to Bronx in his office." I started moving towards it but Razor stood in front of me. "What's the problem, brother?"
"Need to talk to Jeb?" I said again.
I'd always shown Razor respect even when I disagreed but at that moment, I couldn’t have cared a rat's ass about protocol. As soon as I was about to tell him that, Bronx came out with Jeb in tow.
I pointed to him and said, "Need to speak with you."
"Problem, Bear?" Bronx crossed his arms over his chest.
"Yup, I need to speak to him," I repeated.
"Something we can help with, brother?" Razor asked.
"Nope," I replied.
"It's fine," Jeb spoke up. "Where you want to talk?"
"Don't give a fuck."
I walked into Bronx's office, effectively pushing Jeb back inside. Razor and Bronx followed probably trying to make sure I didn't kill the kid.
"What's this about Dessy, dreams and voodoo?" I pointed to the wide-eyed prospect.
"Voodoo?" he exclaimed. "I know nothing about that shit."
Then recognition hit him and he said, "Oh, this must be about what I told your sister. Yeah, she bought me a lot of drinks and was asking all these questions about Dessy. I thought she just wanted to get to know her better but then I wasn't sure." The boy looked puzzled.
"So, what's the shit you were talking about?"
"It's nothing really. I just told her that Dessy's a dreamer. It sort of runs in her family. They have dreams that can show the future or what it could be. Shit like that. It's nothing really. She rarely gets them and usually Dessy don't pay much attention to them. Except when she had the dream about Haz setting me up and coming for us. That shit saved my life. I'm forever in debt to her about that."
He nodded like he was done.
"What's the shit about her and using drugs. She on something?" I asked.
"What?" His nose crinkled. "Oh, no. I just told her, we had dabbled in some hard shit, but It made both of us feel so bad, we didn't do it anymore. That was it. Dessy used to party hard, but she don't do that shit no more. Manor looks good on her. You know?" He was smiling. "She’s working out, being independent, and doing her thing. I'm happy for her. She always wanted a life with no worries. You know. She wasn't cut out for how we were living."
"You know about this?" I asked Bronx.
"Yeah, Shay and Dessy shared it with me." He nodded.
"You didn't care to share that shit with me?" I asked.
"Fuck no," he answered. "That's for her to share and if she didn't, then you should ask yourself why?"
"You trying to say something?" I asked.
"Not trying, I said it." Bronx raised an eyebrow.
"Fuck," I yelled.
My fingers ran through my hair as it hit me that I was head over heels in love with the woman and didn't know these key things about her.
"Bear," Razor called. "I've heard of dreamers before. This is nothing new or even creepy."
"Yeah," Bronx added.
I sat down as the world seemed to be turned upside down on me.
My head felt heavy as I realized that I was a little dizzy. I said aloud, "Why didn't she tell me?"
"Well, if it makes you feel any better? She didn't tell me until that shit went down with Haz," Jeb offered.
"No, that does not make me feel any fucking better. We share a bed every goddamn night. She had access to everything of mine; house, family, and businesses. She's intertwined in every fiber of my life and she keeps something like that from me."
"You're in love," Razor noted. "I get it."
My eyes met his and for once I admitted it to myself. I had fallen in love.
"Does she know about Grace?" Razor asked.
My eyes hit the floor again. She didn't. I hadn't shared that because I didn't think it was time. I hadn't planned to share that with her until I knew where we were headed. She might have felt the same way.
"Is she staying with you?" I asked Bronx.
"Not sure," he answered and pulled out his phone. "Kitten, is Dessy there?...yeah...okay...I'm putting you on speaker."
"Bear, why would Dessy be at my house?" Shay asked accusingly.
My hand extended to get the phone and I pressed the button.
The red one.
"Fuck." Bronx shook his head.
"That woman of yours threatened she would shoot me if I messed around with her cousin," I informed Bronx.
"Yeah, I talked her off the ledge of the other things she had planned if you fucked her over." He nodded.
"She's fucking crazy." I raised an eyebrow at him.
"No, she's badass," Jeb added.
"Until she's gunning for you," Razor inserted. "How about you let Dessy rest for the night? You sleep on it and she does too. You guys talk tomorrow. We can easily check her schedule if she doesn't show up at home. Plus, Shay will know something by then."
I nodded but still had to figure the rest of this shit out.
"Any of the brothers got a place for rent?" I asked.
"Yeah, Shiz just had a tenant go study abroad, so he needs a renter." Razor nodded.
"Great," I said.
The next day there was no word from Dessy and since I hung up the phone on Shay, she wasn't telling me or Bronx shit. Finally, I texted her:
Me: Please tell me if she's okay
Shay: She's fine, you grizzly bear
Me: thanks
I had been by her house three times and still there was no sign of anyone being home. Peppers and RIGOR would have reminded me of her, so I steered clear and went to the compound where I tried to get some rest. That never worked out because my mind was on full speed and there seemed to be no slowing down. She had no shifts that day, so I found myself at the diner peppering Apollo with questions about settling down. There was so much shit on my mind, I just needed to talk to someone who could understand where I was coming from.
I'd been down that road before and lost but this thing with Dessy felt like I needed it to breathe.
Again, no sleep came but since Dessy had both shifts the next day, I planned to be prepared. If she planned on coming back, she would either do it at night or go straight there in the morning. Either way, I camped out on her porch while hiding my bike behind a bush. No need to spook her and have her keep driving. Around ten at night, I saw headlights and then heard footsteps on the stairs.
"Dessy," I called, so I wouldn't scare her.
Then I stood and came from out of the shadows of the wooden porch.
She kept walking toward the door, so I said in a stern voice, "Stop, Dessy."
My girl obeyed me.
Thank God.
When I neared her, I went to move her hair but she flinched out of my reach and put the key inside the lock.
"Des..." I tried to call to her but she quickly walked inside and was about to close the door.
Moving swiftly, I blocked it and pushed It open. She turned and yelled, "Leave me alone, Bear!"
"Sweetheart, that's not happening," I answered calmly.
I kicked the door closed and stalked to her. "We're talking this out. You hear me? You don't get to up and leave me. Dessy. I've been looking all around for you and that damn cousin of yours wouldn't tell me shit. Anything could have happened."
"What does it matter to you? Huh?" she snapped as the tears started rolling down her face. "Carol done spewed her shit so go on and believe it. I'm done." She raised both of her hands.
"The fuck you are," I yelled. "You do not come in my life, turn it upside down and leave. You do not make me fall in love with you and decide you are going to leave me. You don't show me something new, something different, something real and fucking leave, Dessy. You wanna run, sweetheart? Fine. But know I’ll be right behind you."
The tears were dropping out of her eyes like a shower head was dripping. Her head was shaking back and forth when she said, "What?"
"You fucking heard me! You're not leaving."
"I'm not staying with your sister. I will not sit under the same roof and continue to be verbally abused by her any longer. She did it from day one and I didn't want to tell you b
ecause she's your family. I would never compete against your family. So, you see, we can't, Bear. She doesn't like me for whatever reason and I'm not going to compete with her for you."
Dessy was outright sobbing by that point.
Fuck it.
I moved toward her, pulled her in and hugged her tight, while whispering in her hair, "Dessy, stop crying. You're not leaving, okay? I won't let you. There's no competition. Carol's gone, okay."
"No," her voice was muffled. "I won't make you choose."
"Dessy, you're not making me choose. I made a decision and she's gone. She is moving tomorrow morning to one of Shiz's apartments. That's not on you, sweetheart. That's on me. My sister is bitter but she's my sister and I love her. You, Dessy, you're my own personal heaven, baby. You're my future and I want you. I've been bitter. Fuck, I was raised to be bitter but it wasn't until you that I started to live. Really live." I kissed her forehead and held her face with both of my hands. "You taught me that. Life is not all fucked up. You dream, baby. Keep fucking dreaming. You just don't get to leave me."
Dessy's red eyes met mine, finally and the hurt in them broke my heart.
"Fuck," I murmured and picked her up.
"Bear," she sighed and laid her head in my neck.
We made it to her bedroom, where I laid her down and started taking her clothes off. Tugging my shirt off, I climbed in bed and pulled Dessy into me. Then I began to rub her back and whisper that I was here and not going anywhere. How I wanted her to stay with me forever. It was fine if she wanted to carry my seed and that I’d build a house for her. I told her everything on my mind except about Grace.
That was for tomorrow.
When I woke, Dessy was not in bed. My heart skipped for a beat until I took a whiff of the air and smelled the aroma of delicious bacon and coffee. After relieving myself, I found her in the kitchen bending to get the bacon out of the oven. After she finished placing the hot tray on the counter, I wrapped my hand around her stomach and said, "Good Morning."
"Morning," she said as her body sagged into mine.
"What time do you need to be at work?"
"Ten o'clock," she sighed as her hand covered my large one on her stomach.
"Okay, we gotta talk, sweetheart." I kissed her hair.
"I know," she breathed. "Can we eat first?"