by Rye Hart
Gabe was sitting on the floor with Grayson, and they were playing with some Hot Wheels. Both of them were laughing, and it warmed my heart to see my son bonding with one of my closest friends. Deeper inside though, I'd be lying if I said there wasn't some small sliver of pain as well. He should be playing Hot Wheels with his father.
I pushed it away and savored the moment for what it was – and what it was, was incredibly warm and sweet. When I stepped into the room, Gabe looked up at me – the smile that had been on his face as he played with Grayson, slipping off his lips almost instantly as our eyes locked onto one another.
My mom was sitting on the couch nearby, watching the boys play with a grin touching her lips that would have made the Cheshire Cat jealous.
Gabe stood up as if I'd caught him doing something he wasn't supposed to be doing.
“Morning, Gabe,” I said, holding tightly to the bannister on the staircase, purposely not stepping completely into the room.
“Good morning,” he said.
His voice was low and stiff. His face was unreadable, and his hands were balled into fists at his sides.
“I hope it's okay that I stopped by and visited with Grayson for a bit,” he said. “I had no idea you weren't up and I – ”
“No, it's fine,” I said.
I pasted a fake smile on my face I hoped passed muster as genuine, because the gratitude I felt actually was real. The sadness that was burning deep inside me was the only thing preventing me from showing my true feelings.
“I want Grayson to spend time with you and your brothers,” I said. “That's why we came back here, actually. I thought it important that he be around family, and people I consider family. Now, more than ever.”
Gabe's face relaxed, along with his shoulders and the rest of him. The tension just seemed to melt away. Just like that. Most of it anyway. His lips pulled back in a partial smile, though, it also didn't seem completely genuine. God, when he smiled for real, it sent tingles throughout my entire body. With his chiseled, perfect cheekbones and those plump, kissable lips, he could give most Hollywood actors a run for their money.
“Good, I'm glad to hear that,” he said. “Because I've wanted to be there for him for a while.”
His smile widened a bit, as if he were making a conscious effort to look sincere. Almost there. That smile almost went up to his gorgeous hazel eyes – but it wasn't quite there just yet. He cleared his throat and shuffled his feet
“My brothers and I were going to grab some lunch in a bit,” Gabe said. “I was wondering if you and the little guy wanted to join us?”
He turned to my mom and added, “And you're more than welcome to come along too, if you'd like. We'd love to have you join us.”
“No thank you,” mom said, casting a very pointed look at me, before shifting her eyes back to Gabe. “You three go and have fun.”
“Do I have time to shower first?” I asked.
Gabe turned back to me, and there seemed to be a shadow that passed through his eyes. A shadow of what? Lust, maybe? Did the thought of me showering do something to him, perhaps? Part of me hoped so, and I bit my lip, hoping he might say something flirty in return – just like old times. “Sure,” Gabe said. “Grayson and I will just play while we wait.”
Gabe ruffled my little boy's hair, and my son grinned up at him. It was a sweet sight, one I almost didn't want to step away from. “I'll be right down,” I said.
I hurried up the stairs, but I glanced back down over the railing and caught Gabe checking me out from behind. He smiled, then I smiled, a flirty little sparkle in his eyes, and we shared a moment where it actually did feel like old times again. A time before all the bullshit.
I continued up to my bedroom, feeling lighter and happier than I had in a long while.
***
Creekside Cafe had always been our go-to hangout, and as soon as I stepped inside, I saw that nothing had changed. The place was homey and cozy, with a large fireplace in the corner and pictures of the Colorado mountains on the walls. The cafe itself appeared to be made from stone.
The boys were sitting outside, by the creek and with a view of the nearby waterfall. The waterfall itself wasn't very big – especially by Colorado standards – but it was perfectly integrated into the downtown area, with restaurants and shops built up around it. It provided a nice, relaxing, somewhat scenic backdrop to lunch time conversations and strolling through town.
Evan stood first and pulled me into a tight hug. I embraced him and savored the feeling his body against mine. Jared stood next but didn't meet my eyes nor come in for a hug. There was an awkward, tense air between us.
“I'm sorry about last night,” he muttered.
“What happened last night?” Gabe asked.
“Nothing,” I said, shaking my head as a small sigh escaped me. “I'm sorry I freaked out on you. It's just – it's hard for me to realize you're all grown up, much less that you're fu – err – are sleeping with all my friends.”
I looked down at Grayson, kicking myself mentally for almost slipping up and saying a bad word in front of him. He picked up on things quickly, and the last thing I needed was for him to go around swearing because he's heard it from me. “Okay, now I really need to hear about this,” Evan said, laughing.
“It's probably not suitable conversation to have in front of a kid,” Gabe said, his voice stern, his gaze narrowing in on Jared. “Knowing my brother's exploits, I'm actually pretty sure it's not.”
“Nah, you're right,” I laughed.
I took a seat next to Evan, while Grayson sat between Gabe and myself.
“Hey, little man,” Jared said, ruffling Grayson's hair. “Good to see you again.”
My son stared up at Jared, his eyes wide as he took him in. He was usually a shy little guy, a little reticent and hesitant around people he doesn't know. He'd taken to Gabe rather quickly. It was surprising, but I hoped he would take to all of them fairly fast.
Grayson turned to me and said, “Why do they all look alike?”
That brought a laugh from the group.
“They're brothers, baby,” I said, pinching his cheek gently. “Remember when I explained about how families work?”
He nodded. “I want a brother.”
The waitress cleared her throat behind us, bringing us all to attention. My son's response made my heart ache, and as much as I wanted to talk about it, I wasn't entirely sure what to say. Not right then.
“Hi ya'll,” the girl said, a thick southern accent taking us all by surprise. “My name is Katie and I'll be taking care of you today. Can I get ya'll started with something to drink?”
“Water for me,” I said. “And a milk in a kid's cup, please.”
The waitress nodded, then went down the line. I was stuck in my head, no longer listening to anything that was being said around me. All I could think about was Grayson's request. It had always been my plan to have many kids, to have a large family like the Walkers' had. Chris had wanted that too and we'd talked about it often. Growing up as an only child, I hated not having a sister or brother. I never had anyone to play with, which was why I took to my neighbors the moment they moved in next door. It was like having brothers, in a way. I always envied what they had when I was younger, and never wanted my son to experience that. I wanted him to know the kind of camaraderie the Walker boys had.
“Hadley, you with us still?” Evan asked.
Evan's voice intruded on my thoughts, and I looked up at him, not comprehending what he'd said for a moment. I shook my head briefly, clearing out the cobwebs.
“Yeah, sure,” I said. “What is it?”
“We were just making plans for tonight,” he said. “Dad's got the pool up and going, and it's heated now, so – ”
“Party at your place?” I teased.
“Something like that,” he chuckled. “What do you say? You, us, some booze – that is, if your mom is okay watching the little man.”
“I'll have to ask, but I'm sure she will be.
Especially since she keeps pushing me to hang out with all of you again,” I said, immediately mentally kicking myself.
“Oh yeah? Why's that?” Jared asked.
All of their eyes were on me, their gorgeous hazel eyes, fixed on me, I felt like a bug pinned to a card. I cleared my throat and was racking my brain, trying to come up with something to say to defuse the awkwardness.
Luckily, Katie returned with our drinks, sparing me from the sudden strained tension around the table.
“Ya'll have a chance to look at our menu yet? I highly recommend the chicken fried steak, it's the best in the county,” she said with a slight giggle.
I noticed she was checking out all the guys around the table, one by one, sizing them all up. I could see the look of approval and desire in her eyes for them, even though she couldn't have been older than nineteen or twenty herself.
“That's what I'll have,” Jared said, closing his menu and handing it to the server with a flirty smile.
She giggled some more, and I rolled my eyes. Of course Jared was going to try to plant his flag there. Apparently, that's just what he did. Katie turned to Gabe, who pointed at me.
“Ladies should always order first,” he said.
“Pfft, when have I ever been accused of being a lady?” I teased.
A smile crossed his face, but it was gone a second later. He motioned for me to order.
“Fine, I'll have the cobb salad,” I said. “And just some chicken tenders and fries for the little guy.”
Katie wrote all of this down, then moved on around the table. She kept giggling every time one of the guys said anything to her, and it drove me crazy. Yes, they were hot, but part of me wanted to tell her to lay off because they were mine. Not mine-mine, obviously. Finished taking our orders, and with no other reason to hang around the table, she finally left, and I guess the weight of everything was showing on my face. Evan, always the most empathetic of the gang, looked at me and piped up first.
“So, what's wrong, Hadley?” he asked me
“Nothing,” I said, swirling my straw in my drink.
“Uh huh,” Evan said. “You seem a perturbed about something.”
“Oh, just the little girl who couldn't stop with the over the top flirting and that obnoxious giggle,” I said with a laugh.
I faked the laugh, then pretended to gag myself with my finger, just to emphasize my point.
“Sounds like someone is jealous,” Jared teased.
“What? Of a child? Come on, now,” I said, narrowing my gaze on him. “I mean, unless you're into the barely legal thing. Which, I would assume you are since you apparently seem to be into anything.”
He tossed his straw wrapper at me, and I dodged it. It fell on the floor, and I reached down to pick it up, tossing it back at Jared. It landed in his Coke instead.
“Hey!” he said as he fished the paper out of his glass.
“Serves you right,” I said, beaming proudly and chuckling to myself. “Guess that means we have to get little miss jail bait back over here so you can hit on her some more.”
“Yeah, I guess so,” he said, a smile on his lips. “Maybe I should get her number next time.”
“Uh huh. Go for it,” I taunted. “See if I care.”
“You two,” Gabe said, shaking his head – he was the only one not smiling. “Just ask her out already, Jared. I'm not stopping you.”
The table grew silent and a little bit awkward and tense again. Gabe certainly knew how to bring the mood down. Grayson picked up his straw wrapper and tossed it at me, making everyone chuckle again.
“Look, you've taught him bad habits, Jared,” I said.
“I bet he learned it from you first,” he shot back.
Gabe slammed his napkin down on the table and pushed his seat back, the legs squealing across the floor loudly. Without saying a word, he walked off, heading back into the restaurant, leaving the rest of us to stare after him in shock.
“What got into him?” I asked.
Evan shrugged, but wouldn't meet my gaze. Jared wouldn't either.
“Seriously?” I asked, looking between the two of them. “What's going on, you guys?”
No one said anything.
“Fine,” I said, tossing my own napkin on the table. “Keep an eye on Grayson. I'll be right back. If you're not going to give me answers, I'll get them myself.”
I stormed into the restaurant, looking for any sign of Gabe. When I didn't see him, I walked back toward the restrooms. Standing before the men's room I knocked gently on the door before shouting through it.
“I'm coming in,” to warn any guys who might be standing at the urinals.
Thankfully, when I walked in, there was no one else in there.
No one but Gabe.
He wasn't using the urinal or in a stall. Thankfully. He was standing over the sink, leaning on his arms, looking into the mirror before him. When he saw my reflection in the mirror, he turned around quickly, the expression on his face a mix of anger and something else. Something I couldn't quite identify.
“Jesus, Hadley,” he said, his voice low and irritated. “This is the men's room.”
In the past, I might have teased him about how there were no men in sight, but his ego was obviously hurt as it was, and he obviously wasn't in the mood to play. So, I decided to avoid any and all jokes. I flipped the lock on the door to make sure we had a little privacy and weren't interrupted. Not, at least, until we had a chance to talk. There was obviously something he needed to get off his chest – and God knew, I had some things to say.
“Now it's our room,” I said. “Talk to me, Gabe. What was that about back there? What's on your mind? Because there's obviously something you want to say.”
He leaned back against the counter, crossing his arms in front of him. In his blue polo shirt and jeans, he looked like a normal, everyday kind of guy. He certainly didn't look like a multi-millionaire CEO. To me, he just looked like Gabriel Walker, the man I swore I'd marry one day. The man I loved, once upon a time.
I wanted to believe that man was still in there, somewhere deep down, under all the baggage and hurt feelings he was obviously carrying around.
“I'm just having trouble pretending like everything is all hunky dory,” he said dryly. “Because it's not, Hadley. It's really not.”
“Excuse me for wanting to hang out with my friends,” I said.
“We were more than just friends, Hadley,” he said. “Way more than that. And you damn well know it.”
“We were,” I said, my voice cracking with each word. “But if either one of us has a legitimate reason to be pissed about what happened the past, it's me.”
Gabe scoffed, making my bite off my words, and shook his head in disbelief.
“What? You don't agree?” I asked.
I crossed my arms too, mirroring him. The old hurts and anger – emotions I thought I'd long since buried – rising up within me again.
“No, I don't. I don't agree at all,” he says. “I didn't run off and marry your best friend.”
“You wanna go there, really?” I asked. “Because if we're pointing fingers and playing the blame game, what about Jessica, huh? You remember her, don't you? That beauty queen from Maine that you tutored at Harvard?”
“Jessica? What does she have to do with this?” he asked, confusion written all over his face.
“Oh, that's right – I never confronted you about that. Yeah, I know about Jessica. I know all about her,” I said.
My voice continued to crack, and my hands trembled, but I held myself straight and stiff. I was not about to let him get to me. Not this time. “She told me everything,” I said.
“Everything? What's there to tell?” he asked, anger flashing in his eyes. “Besides, we dated after you left me for Chris – ”
“Nope. Nuh huh. You're not going to pull this shit on me. I've held back all this time, but I'm not going to let you get away with it anymore,” I said. “The two of you were together before we split. I have th
e texts to prove it.”
Gabe's eyes grew wide, but he didn't argue back. He just stood there and stared at me, his jaw practically on the floor, looking as surprised as I had when I first got the messages. Back then, he'd seemed like the perfect boyfriend. The perfect man. Sure, we were long-distance, but that was okay. We saw each other often enough, and Skyped when we couldn't be together. We were making it work. I was happy.
“I trusted you, Gabe,” I said, the tears welling in my eyes. “Even long distance, I trusted that you'd be faithful. That you would never, ever cheat on me, and then – ”
“Hadley, I didn't cheat on you, he said, his voice earnest. “I'd never – ”
“Bullshit,” I snapped, my voice echoing around the tile bathroom. “I have proof, Gabe.”
“Proof of what? Nothing happened. Not until after you broke up with me out of the blue,” he said.
He stopped speaking for a moment and looked at me seriously for a second, looking like he was processing something in his mind, before he continued.
“Did Jessica contact you?” he asked. “Did she tell you there was something going on between us while I was tutoring her?”
My lower lip trembled, and I fought to keep the tears from falling. I was not going to give him the satisfaction. No, my entire life hadn't been flipped around because of a lie. No way. I refused to believe it. Whatever excuse or bullshit story Gabe was about to spin, I was not going to believe it. I had the text messages proving it.
“Hadley talk to me.”
A gentleness crept into his eyes and his voice no longer had an edge to it. He pushed himself off the counter and closed the distance between us. Before I knew what was happening, Gabe held my face in his hands, forcing me to meet his golden eyes.
“Yes,” I whispered. “She sent me text messages between you and her.”
“Show me.”
“I'd have to look for them,” I said. “It was so long ago, and I honestly don't know if I still have them. But, I saw them.”
His thumb moved along my chin and slipped along my lower lip. My insides were turning to jelly as we stood there, gazing into one another's eyes. The way he looked at me was the way he used to look at me before we'd make love, and it set my heart racing.